Realizing how life is as a young adult is fucking depressing.
- Thread starter Bman94
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Me too
and I am poor af, making minimum wage and living with three roommates
It helps not to care about money much, it's pretty low on my list of priorities
I don't understand what op means by post college depression though and missing out on experiences. I just graduated myself and now more than ever I feel like the world is opening up for me and that I can actually do the things I want to do
Currently right there (except I'm in an apartment, but with a ton of pressure to not fuck up and move back in with my parents like my brother).
Throw in being a parent, and, shit's rough sometimes.
But today has been one of those rare good days. Indeed this week has been pretty good to me. The worst parts of my day are being at work, but I'm (hopefully) learning to find enough joy in what I can do with my time off.
Throw in being a parent, and, shit's rough sometimes.
But today has been one of those rare good days. Indeed this week has been pretty good to me. The worst parts of my day are being at work, but I'm (hopefully) learning to find enough joy in what I can do with my time off.
You don't need to be in a relationship or start a family to feel good about life, particularly not when you're just out of college (and just out of your parents' house). There will be plenty of time for all that. Focus on improving yourself and make time to travel and explore, even if only within your state or region.
Yup and then just to make matters worse, we all die eventually
Really though just enjoy your life as much as you can, take pleasure in the little things, forget about what others think and what their expectations are and just take time to do what you enjoy doing.
Really though just enjoy your life as much as you can, take pleasure in the little things, forget about what others think and what their expectations are and just take time to do what you enjoy doing.
I feel you, man. Shit sucks sometimes and it can lead to overwhelming thoughts. But dont worry- take life one step at a time. Just worry about yourself, make the most of what you got, and appreciate what you have. Take advantage of good opportunities when you see them.
You're doing really well right now- don't worry.
You're doing really well right now- don't worry.
As someone who recently dropped out of college for financial reasons and now can't even manage to get hired for minimum wage jobs, "depressing" is an understatement. I'm half way through my 20's and have literally nothing to show for it aside from a mountainous heap of failures and regrets and things are only going to get worse as I get older.
I didn't think I could hate myself more than I did in my teens. Boy was I fucking mistaken.
I didn't think I could hate myself more than I did in my teens. Boy was I fucking mistaken.
If it's any consolation, I have a Master's degree, I've been published, and I also can't get hired after a year and a half of seeking jobs. I haven't really gotten my life to take off and I'm past my mid-20's as well. I doubt you have any reason to hate yourself.
I would literally kill to be your age again with all those problems. As you get older even worse problems happen, especially once you have weird health stuff start happening.
On one hand:
I'm living at home
I'm unemployed currently (I do technically have a casual job, but I get pretty much no shifts)
I don't go nor ever went to Uni
Feel totally lost in terms of what to do careerwise
Friends have all graduated uni and are starting careers
Friends are also going their own way in life, leaving me with nobody to talk to most weeks
I'm lonely and wish I had a Girlfriend
I'm a high-functioning Autistic
On the other hand:
Everyone in Sydney my age doesn't move out anyway (Seriously, Sydney will bankrupt you)
My parents don't charge me rent
My parents are good loving people
Being Autistic means I get pension when I'm unemployed
I have a positive net-worth that makes most people my age wet themselves
At the very present, my life could be way worse.
But the future looks quite bleak.
I'm living at home
I'm unemployed currently (I do technically have a casual job, but I get pretty much no shifts)
I don't go nor ever went to Uni
Feel totally lost in terms of what to do careerwise
Friends have all graduated uni and are starting careers
Friends are also going their own way in life, leaving me with nobody to talk to most weeks
I'm lonely and wish I had a Girlfriend
I'm a high-functioning Autistic
On the other hand:
Everyone in Sydney my age doesn't move out anyway (Seriously, Sydney will bankrupt you)
My parents don't charge me rent
My parents are good loving people
Being Autistic means I get pension when I'm unemployed
I have a positive net-worth that makes most people my age wet themselves
At the very present, my life could be way worse.
But the future looks quite bleak.
Yes it does, jesus christ. You haven't progressed on any of these things since you were 20 years old, really?
Lol... exactly sounds like my life.
The only thing i'm happy about is that i'm trying to reach my dream goals atm, living with awesome parents, don't have to deal with roommates, and NO college debt (I dropped out of community college).
But... I just quit my job back in May and i'm struggling finding as job rn.... oof. I'm 23 atm
The only thing i'm happy about is that i'm trying to reach my dream goals atm, living with awesome parents, don't have to deal with roommates, and NO college debt (I dropped out of community college).
But... I just quit my job back in May and i'm struggling finding as job rn.... oof. I'm 23 atm
22-25 was just missing college.
26-29 is when you start feeling like an adult and have money to do stuff.
Haven't hit 30 yet but I'm terrified.
26-29 is when you start feeling like an adult and have money to do stuff.
Haven't hit 30 yet but I'm terrified.
I think this really comes down to individual experience.
For me personally, I would honestly argue my life is the best it has ever been. It's not problem free, and never will be, but I think it's better than my childhood, high school, and college. I'm married with a job that pays pretty well and I actually enjoy doing. My wife and I are moving into a rented house in a month and a half, will save for two years to put a down payment on buying a house. I'm 29 and turn 30 later this year.
You definitely sound depressed since you're dwelling on the negatives, which is natural if you're depressed. But a lot of this is perspective and outlook.
First off, I would start with working on that - search out techniques to improve happiness and mood, and also improving your emotional intelligence is key.
Second, you're always going to have challenges and issues of varying degrees. But you don't need to tackle them all at once, and how you address them matters. For example, why do you feel pressure to start a family? Would you rather focus on improving your career? Or your physical or mental health? And do you accept the chaos in life and take on these challenges with a positive attitude, or a defeatist one?
Have no doubt your friends who moved have their own troubles and anxieties. Even if they seem minor compared to you, to them they may not seem that way. Pain/Stress can be relative. Don't worry about them. You don't need to have everything figure out or in place to be happy.
I do relate to the anxieties and depression you feel. Early in my career (1 yr out of college), I was laid off, and almost exhausted all of my savings while I temporarily worked as a substitute teacher. I spent a lot of time worrying before eventually landing another job (in my field) 9 months later.
Oh man, I got hit with that post-college thing pretty hard. Especially because I was planning on getting married, and she dumped after graduation. Suddenly, I was doing that "every day is the same" routine with work, moved to a new city with no friends, and alone. Woof.
All that got better though. The worst after that was all my best friends getting married, having kids, and fading a lot from my day-to-day life. Still hate that one.
All that got better though. The worst after that was all my best friends getting married, having kids, and fading a lot from my day-to-day life. Still hate that one.
Terrified of what? My 30s have been much better than my 20s.
It can get better OP, please hang in there.
At 22, I barely graduated with a couple of AA degrees (when I should have graduated with a BA at that age).
After that I felt burned out, didn't have a job, and I was obese. My parents had to support me. I felt like a total fucking loser and just wanted to end it. I tried to reach out for help but I couldn't, at least I felt that way.
Until one day a friend saw what I was going through, and helped me lose weight. About 70 pounds. After that I felt better about myself, gained a lot more confidence, and went back to school to get a BA.
I'm 32 now, have a stable job and a lot more confidence. Yeah I know our situations aren't the same, but from someone who was on the brink, it does get better.
At 22, I barely graduated with a couple of AA degrees (when I should have graduated with a BA at that age).
After that I felt burned out, didn't have a job, and I was obese. My parents had to support me. I felt like a total fucking loser and just wanted to end it. I tried to reach out for help but I couldn't, at least I felt that way.
Until one day a friend saw what I was going through, and helped me lose weight. About 70 pounds. After that I felt better about myself, gained a lot more confidence, and went back to school to get a BA.
I'm 32 now, have a stable job and a lot more confidence. Yeah I know our situations aren't the same, but from someone who was on the brink, it does get better.
i think this is an excellent post
hang in there ya'll, let's try to live our best lives in our own ways v_v
The first two years of college were some of the most amazing of my life (and I absolutely loved college). I moved to the middle of nowhere making $45K a year and knew no one. I basically got to experience a time in my life where everyone I met and everything I did was new. Renting my first place alone, hell living alone, buying a car, going to bars by myself, meeting new friends at work, gaining experience on the job. Having little responsibility at work yet still getting an okay paycheck. No family requirements or previous friends to run into. I'll never regret those years as they were live changing as it made me become 100% independent.
Mainly because we don't want to die.
And the sadness of a soul crushing existence is nothing compared to being soul crushed and living on the streets.
So basically, it's this or be dead.
This is just simply not true. Maybe for some, but for the vast majority we don't equate value with workaholic tendencies.
This is entirely the case in Asia tho.
I was gonna say OP should invest his savings, but I see he's already doing that, which is good. It's one of the key things I feel a person has to to do to turn around your life later on.
This board is a depressing place. Being around a bunch of sad people complaining about everything won't make you feel better.
Life is pretty good, and while every person has a different life situation, every single one of us can find hobbies and do things that we enjoy. We here on this board can all read and write, so we are smart enough to be able to use the internet to learn to be smart with our money no matter how much we have, and turn it into more. We are all clever enough to learn new skills that are valuable and can help us improve our situation. Those of us that are lucky enough to not have kids or own homes or other major responsibilities (young people like OP generally) can also move to new places where opportunities exist in abundance. You don't need to be chained to your current situation.
Life is good, and it gets better as you go as long as you work on self improvement and know yourself well enough to know what you enjoy.
Life is pretty good, and while every person has a different life situation, every single one of us can find hobbies and do things that we enjoy. We here on this board can all read and write, so we are smart enough to be able to use the internet to learn to be smart with our money no matter how much we have, and turn it into more. We are all clever enough to learn new skills that are valuable and can help us improve our situation. Those of us that are lucky enough to not have kids or own homes or other major responsibilities (young people like OP generally) can also move to new places where opportunities exist in abundance. You don't need to be chained to your current situation.
Life is good, and it gets better as you go as long as you work on self improvement and know yourself well enough to know what you enjoy.
Life isn't nearly as depressing as this thread. And if your life doesnt get better as you age you've done something wrong. Bad shit happens to most of us, we all have our moments of doubts and fear, but you push through them and come out the better for it on the other side. Or you can just give up, it's up to you.
It's probably the thing I like least about this place, you guys all drag each other down into this neverending pit of cynicism and despair, constantly feeding off of each other and seeing who can be the most miserable. Your negativity spreads through this place like a cancer. It's not healthy and it absolutely contributes to your outlook.
It's probably the thing I like least about this place, you guys all drag each other down into this neverending pit of cynicism and despair, constantly feeding off of each other and seeing who can be the most miserable. Your negativity spreads through this place like a cancer. It's not healthy and it absolutely contributes to your outlook.
I think a lot of people on this forum would benefit ALOT by watching angel beats, basically
YOLO
OP, one of my best friends has the same outlook. He's now getting more and more depressed and more and more drugged up. When I ask him why he won't do anything to improve his life. He just says you don't understand.
Wanna know the secret. It sucks for everyone. But you have to choose. Either you try and make something of yourself, get your shit together and be happy. Or you can wallow.
It's an active choice. You have to choose to tough it out and be happy. It won't just come to you. Those people around you who are happy aren't '' lucky ''. They make themselves happy. Everyone has their own shit to deal with. But dealing with it is key..
Wanna know the secret. It sucks for everyone. But you have to choose. Either you try and make something of yourself, get your shit together and be happy. Or you can wallow.
It's an active choice. You have to choose to tough it out and be happy. It won't just come to you. Those people around you who are happy aren't '' lucky ''. They make themselves happy. Everyone has their own shit to deal with. But dealing with it is key..
I graduated a year early from college and moved to LA at the beginning of the year to work for a film production company. At the time, everything seemed so exciting--and it still is in a lot of ways--but I feel like I'll never catch up (in terms of money). Rent for my tiny room, student loans, etc. I have a good job and will be 22 next month, so I hope it will get better soon (hopefully with some promotions over time), but I'd be lying if I said I don't feel a constant ping of existential dread in the back of my mind.
I'm 26 and I have only now made it to a point where I have a chance to go to university and work towards a degree. I feel old. Like yeah, there are mature students, but a lot of the people I went to school with finished education years ago, even did masters of whatever, and I haven't even started.
Welcome to LA, I hope you are enjoying it. You're going to look back on these feelings in about 7 years and realize they were really unhelpful and unfounded. You're making big changes right now. Give yourself some time. Having your feet under you is an illusion that some people are better at doing than others.
I think my reply could be aimed at most of the people in this thread... Mindset is going to allow you to thrive, or kill you slowly over time. Learning what is important to you (not instagram people, TV characters, your friends or other people who seem SO HAPPY) is going to make your life complete. For me personally, overcoming (or at least taking steps to recover from) codependency and realizing that I'm allowed to be happy in my own skin, and flaunt it, makes my days joyful. Not always happy, but I know I got me when I shut the door to my apartment for the night.
Also, we all love gaming, but be cognizant of when it is becoming an escape for you.
Most places? At the very least you need at least one roommate.
OP, I fucking feel you. I graduated, got a job in my field through the connections that I worked 70 hour weeks for four years to make, and immediately got late off just four months later. My girlfriend of two years moved back to her home country just weeks before this, which was crushing on it's own but so much worse unemployed.
All of my college friends except three had moved at this point, and I spent a last two months living in my best friend's basement trying to recover. I couldn't find a job because the town I went to school in was too small, so I moved back in with my parents who were closer to Denver.
Having been very independently living on my own for the last five years, this has been a nightmare. I've spent the last near eight months now just sitting in my tiny childhood bedroom, bed tucked up against a wall of my still boxed up personal belongings. My parents aren't the worst, but my mom and I argue quite a bit these days, especially as my mental health worsens.
I don't have a car, so what few friends I still had in state I've only seen one because I can't drive to meet them halfway. My best friend drives down every week to see me, two hours one way, and I feel incredibly guilty about it constantly. It keeps me going a bit, which I'm eternally grateful for.
I've been job hunting for over half a year. I'll fully admit that I've had gaps up to three consecutive weeks where I've felt so awful about my self worth that I just stopped and spent most of the days lying in bed, but despite that I've applied to at least 100+ jobs in that span of time. I've had interviews that went really well and lead to multiples, but there was always someone more qualified than me in the end that they could pay the same.
Most of the time, my portfolio site analytics show that they never even go further than looking at my initial application.
At this point, most of my day to day life consists of waking up, talking to my girlfriend through FaceTime until she falls asleep or I have to go to my wildly inconsistent minimum wage Target job, shutting my mind off for long enough to make it through "work", and coming home, applying to any new jobs that have been posted, and then trying to drown out my thoughts with videogames. Working at Target barely part time pays just enough to fund a new game once every month or two, drinking, and a pitiful savings account.
Last winter I had planned on moving out this summer with two of my remaining Colorado friends. When the time came, I was still making $600 a month and had to tell them no. We haven't spoken in about two months. My emotionally abusive ex texted me out of nowhere a few weeks ago demanding to meet up because she need to talk about something she feels entitled to "resolution" about, but she said she wasn't "comfortable" telling me over text, and got a bunch of our previously mutual friends to text me as well when I said I couldn't meet up with her.
I keep cycling between trying to desperately focus on self-care; eating well, exercising, forcing good sleep hygiene, getting back into my skincare routine, reading more, meditating, and really just forcing myself to take care of my body. But then the anxiety and exhaustion snaps back at me and I go back to napping daily, sleeping too late, eating horribly and feeling even worse.
I don't make enough to pay for rent, let alone utilities + food + transportation + health insurance and other general bills. I haven't been able to find a job in my field for 8 months. I spend the vast majority of my time in a 180sqft bedroom alone, and have no way to leave the house and go do things even alone. My partner lives 17,000 miles away. I have one friend who lives two hours away and works 60 hours a week. I have no end in sight to any of this. I don't even know why I wrote this wall of text ass diary entry, other than a need to vent since I have no one to talk to.
I get it OP. It fucking sucks. Every single day is a nightmare that I'm just clawing myself through.
Don't listen to this, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Yes, the potential for it to never get any better is always there, but don't go through life just assuming it's always going to be that way...
That's more the outlook to maintain.
Life's rough, but it is what you make of it. Just try to stay positive, OP. You're by no means in it alone.
Speak for yourself. Life got much better as I aged. More money, more wisdom, better coping skills plus I'm married, own a house and can pretty much do or go anywhere I want.
30s > 20s for me.
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