Realizing how life is as a young adult is fucking depressing.
- Thread starter Bman94
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The only thing you can do is try to stay positive. Sometimes you will get in the biggest rut in the world (struggling through one myself right now), but you just need to look at the little things. Maybe a new game is coming out that you want. Maybe there's a holiday coming up and you get a day off. Little things like that can help your mental state.
The people putting the pressure on you needs to stop. I assume it's your parents.
You can't do it all. Get your career stuff straightened everything.will fall into place
I love your post because it is totally true. We all have things to deal with in life, we all think our life is going to be one way and maybe it goes that way and maybe it doesn't.
I've had a lot of health issues in my life and had a hand surgery go wrong which caused me to loose my career job and be in constant 24/7 pain with no cure or end in sight. I could say life sucks, I lost a good income, lost my career, lost what I thought my life would be by X age but instead I picked myself up, made a "new me" and have chosen to look at what I DO have. I have a roof over my head, an amazing husband who is 100% supportive, an eBay business I can do even with my hand issues, great pets and parents who are always on my side. Despite, some bad health issues in my 20's and now inury issues in the 30's, I like my life and try to make the best of every day I have.
Harder for me was the transition after high school and realizing that people were soon going to expect me to become an adult and do adult things and me not feeling ready for it at all and just wanting to keep playing PS1 games, watching all the movies I want, hanging out with friends all I want, and not taking on any serious responsibility.
I was Will, guys. I was Will.
I'M NOT READY.
(I'm 38 now...things are good...but holy shit was that part of life just heart breaking)
I was Will, guys. I was Will.
I'M NOT READY.
(I'm 38 now...things are good...but holy shit was that part of life just heart breaking)
Its not that hard.
Figure out who you are (thats the hardest part), surround yourself with good people, and try to improve on yourself and whatever you are doing bit by bit everyday.
Life takes time. In my twenties I had basically nothing except two kids and a wife, and could barely make ends meet. All my friends went out and enjoyed life, while I had my nose to the grindstone in a failing marriage. In my thirties went through a divorce (losing everything I had worked for), and ended up getting remarried to the love of my life. And now, in early forties children have graduated, and my career is doing well. I'm actually in an exceptional position given I had to reboot in my early thirties
Life is grand. But it took twenty plus years to get to this point, and I likely STILL have 20 more years of working ahead of me. But I can appreciate what I have now, because I had to struggle to achieve it. And there were times ... Just so all the young people are aware, I saved for more than a decade before buying my house
Life is grand. But it took twenty plus years to get to this point, and I likely STILL have 20 more years of working ahead of me. But I can appreciate what I have now, because I had to struggle to achieve it. And there were times ... Just so all the young people are aware, I saved for more than a decade before buying my house
27 here, in general I've been happier than ever the past couple years - got into a great relationship after years of being single and started practicing hobbies I had neglected. Also really lucky in that I have no debt or financial hardship. But definitely still have periods where I'm kinda sad. My job isn't really fulfilling and the world often feels overwhelming. I try to stay focused on things in my immediate control though, and usually feel pretty good.
Growing up I always disliked hearing people tell others, including myself, to find any way to move out of my parents' place because I needed to be on my own. To these people living away from your parents was more important than living comfortably and being financially prudent, saving up as much as you can so that you wouldn't struggle when you finally did leave. They wouldn't even take into account whether you contributed to the household you were living in and established as much independence as you could - they simply insisted you live on your own or with roommates just because.
I noticed this attitude from predominantly white Americans. If you talk to people from other countries, you'd find that living with your parents for a long time is either a) expected or b) completely understandable. Many of them don't push you out of the house. I am Eastern European and it's certainly not frowned upon in my culture to live at home for as long as you need to.
I noticed this attitude from predominantly white Americans. If you talk to people from other countries, you'd find that living with your parents for a long time is either a) expected or b) completely understandable. Many of them don't push you out of the house. I am Eastern European and it's certainly not frowned upon in my culture to live at home for as long as you need to.
I've posted about this on the mental health thread but I just started a very rough time in my life. I'm 25 and I just landed an entry level in my field. It's grinding me down in a way I didn't expect. The job ain't stressful and it's actually very hands off. The guy I replaced has been emailing me tips and other stuff. He tells me not to worry about much since the work i'll do is slow and I have all the tools I need to work on personal projects with the free time I have.
My stress is coming from a variety of different areas. Just feel impostor syndrome to the max right now, a general worry that i'll be fired, I don't make enough for my own studio apartment so i'm about to move into a room with a random older couple, a lot of my income going into rent, not really sure if I should even stick with this field, not sure about the future.
blegh. probably going to end up searching for a therapist.
My stress is coming from a variety of different areas. Just feel impostor syndrome to the max right now, a general worry that i'll be fired, I don't make enough for my own studio apartment so i'm about to move into a room with a random older couple, a lot of my income going into rent, not really sure if I should even stick with this field, not sure about the future.
blegh. probably going to end up searching for a therapist.
This feels flawed. There are rich people who are miserable. There are things to be "thankful" of, sure. But they're not a guarantee that you'll be happy.
I have so many things to be thankful of. So many opportunities I was given. But life is still miserable, and I've accepted that.
That's your choice.
I assume it's possible that you or a random miserable rich person could have a different attitude/outlook about things. Maybe that's not true either because I am no expert in brain chemistry let alone psychology, but I am going to assume that most of the time it's a choice you make.
moving out of your house and into a place with a bunch of roommates honestly may not be a terrible idea, OP. it'll re-energize your social life and potentially your dating life, it'll also get you out of your parents place, who, like others here have said, might be the source of a lot of the pressure you're feeling.
That's what tends to be said. That one's happiness is a question of perspective, or that you need to let yourself be happy. "Prison of the Mind" and all that. And I suppose what therapists help with is to escape it.
But I think that life just isn't made for everyone. It can't be, when we are all from wildly different backgrounds, contexts, and experiences. How easy or possible it is to adjust one's outlook/attitude would obviously depend on these factors. For some, I don't think it's possible. No one wants to be miserable, they'd obviously try to find a light in the dark if they could attain it.
I feel similar pressure but the only real solution is to start a business of some kind and make money that way. Its sad but its the only way.
sorry but that's some bullshit right there. Life gets worse for plenty of people who can't do a thing about it.
Maybe their parents are crazy as fuck lol
I love my folks, but for years, all the stress I deal with is because of the dumb decisions they've made that I had to put my life on hold to help with
Of course it's a case-by-case basis, but you'll notice that the American culture is largely different from other cultures around the world that place emphasis on continued living at home and moving out at a later age.
It's been my experience that if you live with a parent, even if you pay rent and are an independent adult, a lot of people will still not consider you an independent or even functioning adult; however, should you be paying rent and doing the exact same thing under a different landlord or homeowner who isn't your parent, you're viewed as independent and in a more favorable light.
I feel you
There's always a "reaction" when I tell people I'm living with my folks, and it is highly annoying
This right here. Can't tell you the number of people that don't give me the time of day or a weird reaction just because I live with my parents. It just pisses me off people just assume I can't do anything on my own because of it.
Anyways OP, you can't let life get you down. You'll just end up stressed out and depressed if you let it get to you. You'll definitely take some blows but a lot of it is how you deal with those blows and your plan to overcome them.
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It's pretty rough. It's also like the GOAT for people with money. If you are under 30 and making good money or already rich you are likely living the good life.
Unfortunately for most people its a struggle. Any time you do save up to do something fun you risk parents or other older folks saying this is the time in your life you should be putting in the long hours, living frugally, paying off loans, saving up so you can then afford a house and kids... and then live frugally while you support your kids... and then maybe once you're 50 you can finally go on that trip you have been waiting for your entire life... that is if your body can take it.
Yeah honestly fuck that. The best time to "live it up" is before you have kids and while you still have the energy.
Bullshit, my life at 30 is markedly better then it was at 20. Right now I'm making plans to beat the progress I made in the last 10 years. I might fall short, but I'll damn sure make progress for me and my family, friends and whoever else is along for the ride. You plan and you execute, and you never stop doing so, no matter how many times you fail.
Life is a fucking hard grind, no two ways about it, but you lick any and all wounds and push on. If you get knocked on your arse a 100 times, does not fuckin matter, you still get those goals. You might not get them for years, decade even, but you will get them. One day or another. The struggle never ends, but you put the effort in, it damn well gets easier.
I'm always surprised at the amount of defeatism and negatively on a supposedly atheist leaning forum like reset era, if there is supposedly no god, are we not the masters of our own fate? Are we not the most powerful beings in the known universe? Can we not achieve anything we put our mind to, no matter the odds? I get the excuses, hell I used them myself, but I realised quick no cares to listen to them and neither should you, the person who says them.
Absolutely, I've done the worse of the worst job in my teens and my early 20s, being knocked back both in my professional, personal, and love life, but always pushed back at life. I had to, failure was an option I had to make unacceptable, not to anyone else, but me. It's been long, cruel,crushing, desperate, agonising and awful road, and I fully expect the same for my future goals, probably even worse. But you know what, I'll shrug my shoulders, wipe my nose and fight right through it until I get where I have to be.
I have never thought I would hit 30 the way I have. With the successes I had.Avoiding and shunning so many of the pitfalls other people I know have, and extremely, extremely lucky and thankful to do so.
Many, many of my former, and some of my current friends are either broke, stuck in menial dead end jobs , either druggies or damn near alcoholics, have too many kids with too many people, had kids way too young, up to the eyeballs in debt from shit they can't afford, battling mental and physical health issues. Or in relationships that bring nothing much then misery. I decided to myself I can't, and won't, live like that.
Nothing is given to you in this world, nothing should be expected, from anyone else or this planet. You can, and will make your own happiness and fulfilment. You can, and will achieve goals never though possible, no matter how small or large.
I feel you OP. No fucking clue where I'm headed.
Impostor syndrome... is a hell of a thing. Especially with all the media of late drilling it in to me that what I do have, I probably don't deserve. Like everyone's saying "you better count your blessings, or else".
It's tough out there. Keep your chin up.
Impostor syndrome... is a hell of a thing. Especially with all the media of late drilling it in to me that what I do have, I probably don't deserve. Like everyone's saying "you better count your blessings, or else".
It's tough out there. Keep your chin up.
Been there. Ironically it gets better in your late 20s early 30s
I somewhat disagree on this, depending on the implication.
When you are young you should try to improve your standing. Go above and beyond at work. Get noticed. Seek promotions and better jobs.
But don't do this at the expense of enjoying yourself.
Because once you're in your 30's you start to get into the family and kids territory. Once that happens you are working for THEM not yourself. The 20's is the time where you are not stuck. Work hard but play hard. Move to a different state. Go to festivals. Travel. Even if its once a year.