Realizing how life is as a young adult is fucking depressing.

[Forerunner]

Your 20s are definitely an interesting time period. It's trial by fire. Sink or swim. You're thrown out into the world with very little safety nets. If you're lucky, you have a family that is there to support and guide you, however, a lot of people don't. 20s is mostly about experimentation. You still need to have a goal or plan, however, don't be afraid to deviate from it or drop it all together. You'll eventually find things you mesh with and you focus on those.

It's not easy at times, but that is life. A life without challenge is one I wouldn't want to live.

 

[Digital-Kill3r-7]

Someone make a "Post your Net Worth" thread NOW!

 

[Bman94]

I don't know your situation OP, but I sometimes think people could improve their outlook at least a little with a two week sabbatical from the Internet. Like, you can do email and work by necessity, but completely cut yourself off from twitter, social media, all forums, news sites, etc. I'm convinced the near constant drumbeat of negativity that many people subject themselves to since the smartphone revolution cannot be a net positive for their outlook and mental state.

EDIT - Sadly, I think most people would find this difficult or impossible to do. Many are addicted to it, and don't even realize how it is impacting them psychologically.

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In a way social media does play a factor. Seeing my friends get married and having kids or starting businesses sometimes makes feel like "what the fuck am I doing with my life???"

unless you are paying rent at your parents' house, how are you struggling with saving money?

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What more can I say other than shit costs money? Car payment, car insurance, phone bill, food, career specific stuff (I'm a teacher, band director at that, so fill in the gap), putting money towards my parents house when shit goes awry (like our constant leaking roof situation right now), putting money towards retirement, putting money towards short term and long term investment funds, typical adult shit as well.

Edit: forgot to mention student loans and credit card loans as well.

Where besides SF and Manhattan can someone with a degree not afford a place without 3 roommates?

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Well, I live in South Florida, and I don't find $1,100 a month for a fucking studio apartment affordable. That's a whole paycheck in itself.

 

[cecilpaladin32]

Where you work/how much you enjoy your job probably has a really big impact. I hate what I do now, and I have a lot more pressure than all but one other job that I worked previously, and I am usually just miserable during the work day.

However, when I get to play some board games with friends outside of work (a couple of times a week), I'm back to being the happy-go-lucky person I usually was/otherwise am.

 

[Deleted member 21220]

I am being completely serious. Even if you have outrageous student loans, how do you not have enough money to put some in savings if you already have a job in your field? Do you have some crazy medical bills?

If you aren't making enough money, get a 2nd job doing anything. Sell your car and get something more affordable. Live within your means.

You are living with your parents, do anything to save up enough to get out of there.

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(Not saying you're a baby boomer, your comment just reminded me of this!)

 

[Fat4all]

Someone make a "Post your Net Worth" thread NOW!

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ive got seven dollars and a sheetz giftcard

 

[entremet]

In a way social media does play a factor. Seeing my friends get married and having kids or starting businesses sometimes makes feel like "what the fuck am I doing with my life???"



What more can I say other than shit costs money? Car payment, car insurance, phone bill, food, career specific stuff (I'm a teacher, band director at that, so fill in the gap), putting money towards my parents house when shit goes awry (like our constant leaking roof situation right now), putting money towards retirement, putting money towards short term and long term investment funds, typical adult shit as well.

Edit: forgot to mention student loans and credit card loans as well.



Well, I live in South Florida, and I don't find $1,100 a month for a fucking studio apartment affordable. That's a whole paycheck in itself.

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Paying half a paycheck in rent normal in NYC. Even with high-income earners. Embrace it or get roommates.

 

[Tophat Jones]

In the blink of an eye you'll be eternally resting without a care in the world.


I just try to enjoy the ride until then.

 

[petethepanda]

Next step is to find something not too destructive to numb yourself with!

 

[Firewithin]

Yes life sucks

 

[Lactose_Intolerant]

What more can I say other than shit costs money? Car payment, car insurance, phone bill, food, career specific stuff (I'm a teacher, band director at that, so fill in the gap), putting money towards my parents house when shit goes awry (like our constant leaking roof situation right now), putting money towards retirement, putting money towards short term and long term investment funds, typical adult shit as well.

Edit: forgot to mention student loans and credit card loans as well.

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You are saving, which is what I asked. In your original post, you said you couldn't even do that because you were living paycheck to paycheck.

Credit Card loans, nevermind, you answered my original question.

 

[Powdered Egg]

Don't marry for love, marry for land.

 

[808s & Villainy]

Knowing that you can't move out of your parents house because you could not literally afford to rent an apartment without having 3 other people rent with you.

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It sounds more like you don't want roommates...maybe it's because I live in a city so having roommates is the norm, but it really isn't that big a deal

 

[NTGYK]

Knowing that you can't move out of your parents house because you could not literally afford to rent an apartment without having 3 other people rent with you.

Seeing your childhood friends GTFO of your home town and move to completely other states.

Post-college depression from how much experiences you no longer will enjoy.

Struggling to save money living paycheck to paycheck.

Trying to learn and just survive in your career without fucking up royally.

Mounting pressure to find stability in life and establish and start a family. Mounting pressure just to find a a half way decent relationship. Mounting pressure to just find some right for you.

Seeing the country literally fall the fuck apart and feeling useless to do anything about it because of the people in positions of power.

Trying to maintain a healthy life both physically and mentally...

Shit sucks man.

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As someone getting married and turning thirty this year, it gets better and worse simultaneously. That's just life, man.

 

[YMB]

Life doesnt really stop being shit, but (personally speaking) you usually do tend to have better means to deal with the bullshit as you get older be it through finances or mental fortitude of aging and having to deal with life. Its never gone, but can be altered to make it more manageable.

Life has improved for me over the years thankfully, but then you cant go much lower than cutting your wrists in a bathtub...twice.

 

[DevilMayGuy]

It sounds more like you don't want roommates...maybe it's because I live in a city so having roommates is the norm, but it really isn't that big a deal

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Yeah I had 2 roommates for 3 years and have had 1 roommate for 3 more years
It's fine, and helps pay the bills

 

[Admiral Woofington]

give it a bit of experience and find another job later on. Or apply to one that might hire you even if not necessarily in your area of expertise but they're willing to hire. It's not like you're stuck with your major of choice and supposed paths in that area, I have friends and coworkers who did a 180 and went in a completely different direction. Having a decent paying job with good money does wonders to help you keep in a generally good mood.

I'm not even the most succesful person in my group of friends and have been single for ages, but I learn to enjoy the little things and appreciate my time with friends and family when I get to visit back home from my work projects. I enjoy all my hobbies, have my dog for company, enjoy working out and keeping healthy, and also enjoy splurging once in a while on really bad food as a reward for being good with my diet and exercise.

Life isn't perfect by any means, but you need to try and enjoy the little things and have enough to keep you busy.

 

[pochi]

i just do what kars did and eventually stop thinking

Click to shrink...

 

[Elderly Parrot]

Grad school time

 

[p_xavier]

I'm half happy in my mediocrity.

 

[vertigo]

Living with a bunch of roomies was the only way i could move far away to the city and out of my parents house. Im lucky to love the people i live with that share the same struggles and meet people all in the same boat
Ig you just gotta get used to it and learn to thrive. Its hard but im happy. Putting your mind in the right place is the first step

 

[Bman94]

You are saving, which is what I asked. In your original post, you said you couldn't even do that because you were living paycheck to paycheck.

Credit Card loans, nevermind, you answered my original question.

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That saving is basically "don't touch money" until you can put a down payment for a house type money. Not money I can access anytime soon. Additionally I can only afford to put $280 worth of dollars a month towards my 3 different savings including retirement. Just putting that little won't get me much in the long term and still doesn't bode well for the future unless I can increase what I put in. But actual savings like in my bank account? That shit is nonexistent.

 

[entremet]

Grad school time

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More loans and no marketable skills? Nah.

That saving is basically "don't touch money" until you can put a down payment for a house type money. Not money I can access anytime soon. Additionally I can only afford to put $280 worth of dollars a month towards my 3 different savings including retirement. Just putting that little won't get me much in the long term and still doesn't bode well for the future unless I can increase what I put in. But actual savings like in my bank account? That shit is nonexistent.

Click to shrink...

You're doing better than most people. Stop being dramatic lol. Things will get better. Most people aren't making bank out of college. You need to build career capital first.

Some people aren't saving anything at all.

And stop worrying about a house, man. You're too young for that. Some of you are obsessed with buying homes so young. I really don't get it. Rent so you can stay mobile and move where the jobs are.

 

[FaceHugger]

Rent wasn't insane when I moved out, so I was able to rent a little duplex for years when I was starting out. That really helped a great deal, so did having a live-in girlfriend so I wasn't lonely (all of my friends had moved away or ended up in prison, I was starting over making new ones - mostly at my post college job). It was tough living just about check to check, but I enjoyed everything about life more back then.

OP, I lived through 9/11 and the Bush administration. I promise you, this shit gets better. Hopefully you'll be able to look at your turbulent 20's one day and see all the joy there was to be had. Money comes in time, just keep improving and trying for higher paying jobs. You're putting money away for retirement which is better than most young people can afford. Just hang in there.

 

[Ryaaan14]

Spoiler alert: as you age, it doesn't get any better.

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What a load of horse shit.

 

[pochi]

Tumbling down tumbling down.

 

[Sawneeks]

In a way social media does play a factor. Seeing my friends get married and having kids or starting businesses sometimes makes feel like "what the fuck am I doing with my life???"

Click to shrink...

Def recommend taking time away from the internet and news for a bit. Lot of what you see here and elsewhere does more for your mood than you may realize and cutting that off can be a great thing.

Everyone lives life at their own pace, in their own way. You only ever see the happy moments on people's social media and not the rough times, long nights, heartbreak, depression, and so on. It's tough but try not to judge yourself based on how others are sharing their life.

You got this, dude. Life can be rough but it's all about how you look at it.

 

[J_Viper]

I was with you until the "starting a family" part. Fuuuuuuck that

My main issue is my currently family, who've I have had to sacrifice my life and plans for because my mom has issues, my dad is diabetic, and my brother is bipolar.

I'm getting to my breaking point though. Think I have to move out soon or I'm really going to lose my fucking mind. Makes it worse when you're living in a piece of shit city like Miami.

 

[Mocha]

Life is about experiences and this is an experience. You'll get older and you'll get use to it and other conflicts will happen in your life.

Just enjoy the moment and do something new if you're tired of the repetition. A new hobby is always great thing to do and learn.

 

[LGHT_TRSN]

Living with other people can be a blast, especially if you're young, single and living in a big city.

 

[Taco_Human]

OP I feel you word for word in that first first. Damn. 🤕

 

[Bman94]

I do appreciate the motivational posts here, I truly do, thank you.

 

[low-G]

Yeah, I dunno. If you get a decent career going you do have some chance. Still a struggle, but livable (as opposed to literally dying).

unless you are paying rent at your parents' house, how are you struggling with saving money?

Click to shrink...

How many people at the age OP is talking about
A). Have income
and
B). Parents don't make them even contribute (let alone those who don't live with their parents)

???

 

[TitanicFall]

Spoiler alert: as you age, it doesn't get any better.

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I wouldn't trade my good life in my 30s for any period of my 20s. Though I don't have kids or debt, like many people my age do.

 

[konka]

My life was not that depressing.

 

[Zelenogorsk]

As a young adult (26) myself I definitely have moments where I think about how the innocent days of childhood are gone forever and the rest of my life will just be working and paying bills until I die. That said the emotional maturity that comes with adulthood is worth the bullshit, most of the time anyways.

 

[Saganator]

As long as you don't get stuck working for minimum wage for decades it will get better. I'm not rich or anything but I was in the same boat in my 20s.

 

[Relix]

What? I entered the 30s and I am peak life at the moment. There is one big stressful factor in my life but otherwise it's all good.

 

[Deleted member 1635]

As a young adult (26) myself I definitely have moments where I think about how the innocent days of childhood are gone forever and the rest of my life will just be working and paying bills until I die. That said the emotional maturity that comes with adulthood is worth the bullshit, most of the time anyways.

Click to shrink...

I'm 33 now and mostly feel the same way. I'm lucky enough to enjoy my job for the most part and love spending time with my family, so I've got that going for me. I still get real nostalgic for the old days when I had more free time, but as they say, you can never go home again.

 

[Hokahey]

My life was awful at 22. I had barely graduated high school. All my friends were pot head losers. I was scraping by at crappy jobs. Moving back and forth between apartments and my parents.

18 years later, after working my ass off and fighting for what I wanted my life to be - I couldn't be happier. I'm married, 2 kids, great house, well paying job, etc.

In fact, I barely recognize my 22 year old self.

The people saying it doesn't get better are often the people that did not fight to make it better.

 

[Renna Hazel]

Spoiler alert: as you age, it doesn't get any better.

Click to shrink...

Probably not the best response to someone saying their life is depressing. In fact life can very easily get better. Finding your footing is usually the hardest part when you just get out of college and can't get a decent job. You have to put in the time and effort and work your way up a bit. Things will surely improve for you.

 

[Future Gazer]

I was there too. I promise you, it gets better.

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It really doesn't.

 

[xxracerxx]

It really doesn't.

Click to shrink...

It can.

 

[Grug]

I'm half happy in my mediocrity.

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OP your current mindset is very normal, but don't mistake it for some objective moment-of-clarity truthbomb. It's just a phase you are working through.

A lot of it sounds like you are benchmarking yourself against others and what you think society expects of you at this age. Fuck that external noise. Everyone is on their own path and their own timeline.

John Lennon once said "life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans". Amazing words. If you are too preoccupied with where you are going or how you measure up, you will never find happiness in the present moment. Textbook anxiety and depression behaviour.

Your homework is to watch The Big Lebowski and think about what it truly means to abide.

 

[Lunchbox-]

So why do people do it?

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let me know when you find out friend

 

[konka]

As a young adult (26) myself I definitely have moments where I think about how the innocent days of childhood are gone forever and the rest of my life will just be working and paying bills until I die. That said the emotional maturity that comes with adulthood is worth the bullshit, most of the time anyways.

Click to shrink...

You should probably try to change that then because not all of us live like that.

 

[WizardofPeace]

In my short life, I realized life does suck sometimes. BUT if you stop worrying about all the tiny stuff, it seems to get a bit better. Seriously just try to enjoy life, remember tomorrow is never a guarantee. Make the most of it and have fun!

 

[Doom_Bringer]

Where you work/how much you enjoy your job probably has a really big impact. I hate what I do now, and I have a lot more pressure than all but one other job that I worked previously, and I am usually just miserable during the work day.

Click to shrink...

yea this is really true. I work as a software developer, my team at work is super awesome and I earn good $$$. Having all that really helps

 

[skycamefalling]

Where besides SF and Manhattan can someone with a degree not afford a place without 3 roommates?

Click to shrink...

LA, Seattle, Portland, Boston, San Diego, and many more

 

[Quantum Leap]

Damn son the OP is straight up calling out my life.