Announcing the McDonald's Mascot Tier list

[CaptainNuevo]

Funky Farm's a poor replacement for McDonaldland.

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Oh believe me. I'm not a huge fan of them. They lack a lot of spirit and fun to me. I'm also not a huge fan of the way they just cut the same few ads slightly differently for each toy campaign rather than making newer ads. I'm actually curious about the relative costs of making one of these ads from scratch vs a live action one. I know with the cuts the cost probably averages out very low.

 

[Dyle]

Strong Ant amputated his middle legs so his arms could be swole, that's pretty intense.

 

[turmoil7]

I don't like those new mascots and I'm glad Ray Kroc agrees.

 

[KadeYuy]

But what does roy croc think about the farm

 

[Apollo]

I like the art for these ads a lot. The problem is the vibe is way too bright and healthy for McDonald's. Nobody wants apple slices we want frieeeees

 

[CaptainNuevo]

But what does roy croc think about the farm

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Roy Croc from Croc Legend of the Gobbos?

 

[Dyle]

How many themed or nonstandard McDonald's has everyone been to? I can think of at least a dozen

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Dina
Species: Dinosaur
First Appearance: 2012

Dina is another resident of the Funky Farm. Like Strong Ant and Goat, she's an animal. But she's a dinosaur.



Dina's big thing is that she can grow really big. I guess like kids who eat healthy meals from McDonald's can? Dina doesn't have any other ads I could find (though Funky Farm ads are again, much less well documented). Of all the songs, hers feels the most unique to me though, which is nice.

As far as designs go, her design is alright? She's a dinosaur, and has a very very long neck. Her design is good, and honestly the most... fun of the non-Ferris characters. Her ad is actually the most magical feeling to me, and feels a lot less grounded in reality than the other ads in the Funky Farm line. Overall, she's probably my favorite non-human character from it, and her appearance gives her a much more unique feeling.

Tier: Would Share a Meal With

Next:
1 Last Funky Farm character to wrap up the farm. We're almost through this nightmare, please just hold out!

 

[KadeYuy]

My immersion in the ad was broken when the dinosaur did not break the kite while walking around the kid.

 

[manzoman96]

This is the best thread on the site.

 

[Dyle]

They must have been playing Noby Noby Boy when they made that ad

 

[OneTrickJeffrey]

How many themed or nonstandard McDonald's has everyone been to? I can think of at least a dozen

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The only special one I've been to was the Rock 'n Roll Mcdonald's in the River North neighborhood in Chicago

It was demolished a couple of years ago and replaced with a more modernized, environmental design.

 

[CaptainNuevo]

The only special one I've been to was the Rock 'n Roll Mcdonald's in the River North neighborhood in Chicago

It was demolished a couple of years ago and replaced with a more modernized, environmental design.

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Wait is that the same one the song is about?

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Didi
Species: Dodo Bird
First Appearance: 2012
Relationship Status: Practically Extinct

Didi the Dodo bird is our last Funky Farm resident (for now!). She's a dodo bird, who needs the energy of McDonald's food so she can fly quickly and high in the sky! Please ignore the dodo birds can't fly.

Didi has her own ad like all the other Funky Farm characters, and it's kinda sad. For some reason, it's not easy to find it on youtube, but you can find a copy here.

Didi's design and the cartoony atmosphere make her a pretty fun bird character, and probably the best female bird character McDonald's has ever made.

Honestly, the way she makes silly faces and has a lot of slapstick humor to her makes her the most fun and character-filled character in the campaign, and we really see how clumsy and goofy she is.

Like the other characters, her biggest detraction is just how little she's used. She has 1 ad and some slapstick stuff in other ads. But her actual design and role are fun and pretty unique.

Tier: Tiers for Fiers

(More like tiers for fliers mirite)

Next:
We learn how much hard work goes into building the happy meals...

 

[KadeYuy]

Seems like funky farm just needed a high tier character. Not sure I see didi hanging with the likes of captain crook

 

[Pharaun]

Didi's design and the cartoony atmosphere make her a pretty fun bird character, and probably the best female bird character McDonald's has ever made.

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You're really trolling the Birdie Brigade with this statement.

 

[MrNewVegas]

Glad Mayor McCheese is in the right spot

 

[KadeYuy]

This is the best thread on the site.

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Absolutely. I usually just read threads but this is the first one where I actually get a notification of a new post.

 

[turmoil7]

I really liked the dinosaur and the dodo

To your knowledge, does the Mcdonald's DS game have any mascot on it?

By the cover it looks... Very cold

 

[CaptainNuevo]

I really liked the dinosaur and the dodo

To your knowledge, does the Mcdonald's DS game have any mascot on it?

By the cover it looks... Very cold

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I'm not actually sure, I need to look into it. I agree it looks sterile, I'm also a little unsure if I can count characters which only exist internally as mascots, but I'll check it out for sure and see what I can find.

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Absolutely. I usually just read threads but this is the first one where I actually get a notification of a new post.

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😁 That's awesome to hear actually! I'm glad you're enjoying it!

 

[Ramsiege]

Didi's design and the cartoony atmosphere make her a pretty fun bird character, and probably the best female bird character McDonald's has ever made.

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*SEETHING* with ANGER right now.

#Justice4Birdie
#BirdieBirdgade

 

[Apollo]

*SEETHING* with ANGER right now.

#Justice4Birdie
#BirdieBirdgade

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Why are we still here? Just to suffer?

 

[Dyle]

Didi is indidi the best bird character McDonald's ever had. Just look at her disturbing lips/beak thing

Wait is that the same one the song is about?

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Yeah, Chicago's Rock 'n' Roll McDonalds was great. The one they replaced it with was ok when they first built it, it was a step down from the original but was still neat before it got a lot of its interesting bits removed.

 

[Ramsiege]

Why are we still here? Just to suffer?

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We can't get discouraged. Our fight is just and we will see it through to the end.

 

[dark_prinny]

The best McDonalds mascot its from the future and its called Mr. Triglyceride. It's an obstructed artery full of fat with a huge , yet, somehow unsettling smile on its face. The world is not ready yet.

I come from the future.

 

[CaptainNuevo]

The best McDonalds mascot its from the future and its called Mr. Triglyceride. It's an obstructed artery full of fat with a huge , yet, somehow unsettling smile on its face. The world is not ready yet.

I come from the future.

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I'm not against covering future entries if we can establish some baseline details about the character. I'd at the very least need a sketch of how they look, and a lot of info on their appearances and personality.

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Happy Meal Workshop Workers
Species: Machines
First Appearance: 1994

The Happy Meal Workshop Workers are responsible for creating the magic that goes into a delicious McDonald's Happy Meal. While much of this has historically been behind the scenes, in 1994's "Happy Meal Workshop" we finally got a glimpse inside.



In this ad, we're shown Ronald and Katy working together in the Happy Meal Workshop. We see a lot of the inner-workings here as the meals are made. Notably a giant hamburger opens, a hand pops out, and helps prepare the burgers. The workshop also features a stop sign, who pops out and yells STOP! mandating the workers take lunch breaks. This is clearly a utopia of a factory, in a better society and world than the one we live in.

The Happy Meal Workshop was also shown in the 1995 "Boxed Lunch" ad.



In this ad, Ronald, a child, and beloved character Bernice(!!!!) take a tour of the Happy Meal Workshop. We're shown how Ronald prepares happy meals by throwing the contents inside the bag, and the kid and Bernice love it. Bernice can't even wait and scarfs down the ENTIRE BOX. Amazing.

We're shown shots of some of the machinery involved in the workshop, including a particular machine with some eyes:

While we're never given a name, speaking lines, or shown anything else about this machine, we can infer it's pretty important based on its location near the HMW sign.

It's pretty unique to see cooking equipment, or the cooking process involved in advertisements for children though, so it's pretty cool to see them this way. That said, I'm not sure how I feel about living things potentially preparing the food inside of them. The prospect of it is pretty weird.

The design of the Happy Meal Workshop only shows up here AFAIK, but it's a fun design that manages to evoke a really magical place. Seeing the location the food is prepared in-lore is always exciting, and really ties it back to the food itself.

Overall, while we're shown very little of the workshop in ads, the impact in the world itself is massive. Almost none of these ads would have existed without the workshop producing Happy Meals, and it's huge.

Tier: Tiers for Fiers

Next:
Ever wonder how our friends across the pond prepare Happy Meals?

 

[Apollo]

That's a respectable hecking ranking. What little we see of the Workshop has exactly the sort of whimsy I expect from McDonaldLand.

 

[KadeYuy]

I'm not sure the background setting constitutes a character but canon is canon.

 

[CaptainNuevo]

I'm not sure the background setting constitutes a character but canon is canon.

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I mean, the Stop Sign talks and is clearly part of the workshop here. Think of it more as the workers, rather than the place.

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Ye Olde Happy Meale Workers
First Appearance: 2019
Relationship Status: I'm sure there's a mix of single and married folks in it, as well as people of all orientations. There's a lot, and they're just kinda people you know?

Ye Olde Happy Meale Workers (as I have affectionately dubbed them) are the UK equivalent of the Happy Meal Workshop. While the US and our industrial revolution led to a more mechanical and magical based facility for creating Happy Meals, the UK needed a more relatable and human way to help create them. Part of this may have been due to the increased pressure and focus on healthy eating (partially with McLibel being a European case), but part may have just been that the UK cares about people more than cold efficiency.



The UK showcased how their happy meals were made by hundreds of small plastic farmers and workers, who toiled endlessly to manage the creation of food and report on the quality and health levels of the food. It's an interesting contrast to the American ads covered above, in that the concepts here are primarily targeting health-conscious adults, not children who want a magical escape.

Even outside the tone, the workers here have a much stronger sense of character than any of the ones inside the American Happy Meal Workshop did, though it's debatable how likeable they are. The main worker here rattles on endlessly about statistics and benefits of a happy meal while checking marks on his clipboard, and we're left a bit bored by it.

There's no sense of magic to the world like the American one has, and that's ok in 2019. The magic has long since left the ads, and instead we get a more grounded sense of magic, with tiny men and cars toiling away for our pleasure. A microcosm of the true global supply chain that exists in our level.

It's inspired in a lot of ways really. It conjures a sense of wonder that's not so far from reality that adults can't imagine it. It's safe, reminiscent of the movies and plot lines the current generation of parents watched as children, and it has an almost nostalgic feeling to it as we recall Woody and the gang from Toy Story in the ads.

Honestly, outside of the tonality and feel of the spoken dialogue being dull and down to earth, this style of ad could have had a long campaign associated with them, but instead it's a one-off UK only ad, that doesn't expand much else. What we get is amazing. What we get is fun. What we get is not enough.

Tier: Tiers for Fiers

Next:
Crystal Puppets

 

[turmoil7]

 

[KadeYuy]

High tier for a single ad. It was a cute ad though

 

[Man God]

Birdie continues her proud stand against the tyranny of the mad king Kroc.

 

[Dyle]

Who makes the Happy Meals that the Ye Olde Happy Meale Workers eat? Another set of even smaller, even lingustically older set of workers?

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Who makes the Happy Meals that the Ye Olde Happy Meale Workers eat? Another set of even smaller, even lingustically older set of workers?

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It's entirely possible we'll find out in the future! This ad only came out in 2019, so there's plenty of time for us to follow-up and learn more :)

 

[Ramsiege]

Birdie continues her proud stand against the tyranny of the mad king Kroc.

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#Justice4Birdie
#BirdieBirdgade

 

[KadeYuy]

#Justice4Birdie
#BirdieBirdgade

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Carry on the good fight

 

[CaptainNuevo]

#Justice4Birdie
#BirdieBirdgade

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Birdie will be brought to justice at some point, rest assured. As we saw with the newspaper, there's pretty clear evidence she was leading flights without a license in her first ads 😡

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Crystal Family
First Appearance: 1995
Species: Crystal creatures
Relationship Status: They're a Family.

The Crystal Family made their first appearance in 1995's Under the Kitchen Table.In this ad, Ronald and his friends decide to go underneath their kitchen table and have an adventure!



Once under there, the gang encounters lots of fun experienced that really sell this as a magical place. We're shown some jumping water spouts (which lead to a pretty great sight gag and pun when they shoot out of Ronald's ears), as well as these magical Crystal Family, who live in some rocks.

The family shows up only in this one ad, which adds nicely to their lore as being pretty special in the world, and really sells this as a unique place for an adventure like no other. Like the other denizens of McDonaldLand, the Crystal Family lives near a McDonald's (which is located underneath a kitchen table inside someone's house, which... is weird), so they too can enjoy the taste of McDonald's.

I know that they may not seem super significant in the grand scheme of things, and the fact that their appearances are relegated to this one ad doesn't help that argument much, but it's worth pointing out that these characters were a key part of the storyboard for this ad:

Arguably, it would never have worked quite as well without them. The cave would feel sterile, abandoned, and the presence of a McDonald's would be super weird. The Crystal Family really makes this ad work so much better than it would without them, and they're one of the more fun parts of it. Their design is perfect, cute and fuzzy, and the little crystal noses that glow just work so well really selling them.

Honestly, the entire ad has a really good atmosphere to it that's the perfect mix of fun and magical. Even the McDonald's in it has a unique design that just fits:

Some other interesting things to note about this ad:

1) At some stage they considered adding a talking sign to it, which was cut from the final product:

2) They actually made a miniature model of the set rather than solely a sketch for this ad:

The puppets were manned once again by Tony Urbano, and Tim Blaney.

I'm actually pretty amazed at how unique they managed to make each family member look and act, especially for characters which show up for only a fraction of a second once. Though their appearances are small in number, they make up for it in heart and soul.

Tier: Would Share a Meal With

Next:
The Man in the Moon

 

[Apollo]

The real star of the ad is definitely the cave, not the Crystal Family. It looks really nice

 

[KadeYuy]

I like the design. Crystal for the noses is cute

 

[CaptainNuevo]

The real star of the ad is definitely the cave, not the Crystal Family. It looks really nice

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Yeah, the cave is super well designed for a one-off ad, but sadly places aren't characters. Definitely one of the more unique places in the ads, I really am curious why they didn't ever do much more with this set since it's pretty unusual for the ads to spend that much on a set to only use once.

 

[CaptainNuevo]

I like the design. Crystal for the noses is cute

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Yeah, they're pretty cute little critters! In a better world maybe they would have had their own spin-off ads like the McNugget Buddies got. Imagine a whole series about them scampering from under the table to bring back some tasty food to the cave.

 

[CaptainNuevo]

I have to confess something by the way. The other night I had a dream that I was watching the pre-McDonaldLand ads (the ones done by Coco, not Willard Scott), and noticed that the early McDonaldLand ads were actually all remakes of them but with Mayor McCheese thrown in them. This was a huge realization for me in the dream, though I obviously know that is not the case.

But the point is I had an actual dream about McDonald's ads.

 

[Apollo]

I have to confess something by the way. The other night I had a dream that I was watching the pre-McDonaldLand ads (the ones done by Coco, not Willard Scott), and noticed that the early McDonaldLand ads were actually all remakes of them but with Mayor McCheese thrown in them. This was a huge realization for me in the dream, though I obviously know that is not the case.

But the point is I had an actual dream about McDonald's ads.

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I'm surprised it took this long tbh

 

[Man God]

I had a dream where Berdie was treated fairly by the evil lord Kroc.

 

[CaptainNuevo]

I'm surprised it took this long tbh

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Truth be told, so am I.

 

[KadeYuy]

Ray Croc loves Berdie and would rank her above allstar