Announcing the McDonald's Mascot Tier list

[CaptainNuevo]

Captain, I understand if this falls outside the scope of this thread, but I'd appreciate some context surrounding some of your notes in the entries. For example, I've noticed the "kraft lawsuit" referenced several times, but I'm not sure what that is. Can you provide information or sources so I can enjoy this thread even more?

Click to shrink...

That's a good question. The Krofft Lawsuit (I think I've been forgetting an F sometimes) was a 1977 Lawsuit brought upon McDonald's by Sid and Marty Krofft, the pair of TV Producers who created H.R. Pufnstuf. The lawsuit alleged that McDonaldLand had too many similarities to the H.R. Pufnstuf characters, and was thus a violation of their copyright.

The origins of the lawsuit started when in 1970 the advertising agency which eventually won the McDonaldLand contract reached out to the Kroffts to discuss an ad campaign using the H.R. Pufnstuf characters. This ultimately failed when the advertising agency won the contract on their own and dropped Krofft. They then went and hired some of the former employees who created the H.R. Pufnstuf costumes to make the McDonaldLand character costumes.

Thus, the Kroffts sued McDonalds for eventual similarities. I can't discuss the exact ones yet (would be spoilers), but if I ever cover a character who gets wiped as a result of it, I'll mention who the similarity was.

Outside of solely McDonaldLand, this lawsuit helped define the use of Extrinsic and intrinsic tests for determining copyright violations. Wikipedia defines these as: In the extrinsic test the work would be analysed by an expert to determine similarities in factual aspects including, "the type of artwork involved, the materials used, the subject matter, and the setting for the subject". The intrinsic test would decide whether an "ordinary reasonable person" would consider there were substantial similarities in expression.


The end result of this trial was that the jury determined the initial McDonaldLand ads did have a substantial similarity, particularly in some characters who I have not yet covered and thus cannot explicitly mention due to spoilers. This was backed up as intentional since the ad agency responsible had visited the H.R. Pufnstuf headquarters during their earlier negotiations, and hired people directly responsible for that creation.

Total damages for this were $1,000,000 awarded to Krofft, and McDonald's was ordered to stop airing and creating ads with the characters who violated this.

The larger impact of this is seen in the shift of location going from the fantasy-based McDonaldLand (see: the original Gobblins appearance ad) to the more reality-based McDonaldLand you see starting primarily in the 80s (though as we saw with the singing Trash Cans, not exclusively). Not all characters from the original ads were impacted (as you can see, the Gobblins/Fry Kids and Grimace both survived), so the ads continued with the ones who were allowed, though even the remaining ones received some frequent face lifts.


More details on the lawsuit can be found in the 1977 9th Circuit Federal Court of Appeals case outline.

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: The Professor
Species: Human(?)
Marital Status: Widowed(?)


One of the oldest residents of McDonaldLand, the professor originally showed up in 1971. Originally, he wore a khaki duster, with a very bushy hairstyle:

This look lasted a total of 1 commercial before being redesigned.

Throughout most of the 70s, The Professor (as he was now known) looked like this:

In the 80s, The Professor took on his iconic "Doc Brown" look, before Back to the Future Came Out. That's right. The Professor was the origin of this look:

Despite the varied appearance, the Professor was always played by Lou Wagner, and voiced by Andre Stojka.

One of the more interesting aspects of The Professor's ads is the amount of production history you can identify in the backgrounds. In the oldest commercial featuring him I could find (1976), you could tell the color of the sky had changed, as a result of them no longer paying to rent the studio out full-time to keep the McDonaldLand set in. As discussed in the previous "Lawsuit Rundown" post, it's possible this was done partially as a result of the lawsuit going on, but also likely it was just seen as a superfluous expense for what was likely an expensive area.



In the 1980s the Professor's fantastic lab was a set for quite a few fun ads. I'm a little unclear personally if he was building things for a better world, or just to steal the food from kids, like when he built this elaborate Rube Goldberg gadget so he could... eat the nuggets while everyone was distracted?



He also had some fun gadgets like this giant Clock the pals all came out of:



The professor didn't survive the culling of characters, at least in commercials. Despite stopping his TV appearances in the late 80s, the professor showed up in both MC Kids and McDonald's Treasure Land Adventure!

(Yes, he really does send you to the moon)


The Professor's biggest accomplishment seems to be that he convinced people to actually eat Chicken McNuggets (and dip them in sauces). I guess in a weird way, we could blame him for a certain other Professor-and-sauce related madness that happened a few years ago...


In the end, the professor went from a minor rarely-speaking role in the 70s, into a fairly prominent role in the 80s, yet he's still oddly forgotten. The potential for a crazy scientist character experimenting seems almost wasted here since outside of the nugget flipping gadget we don't really ever see him do much science or inventions. Weird that a world full of so many fantastic creations wouldn't really take advantage of this. Maybe it's for the best. Maybe he just makes monstrosities and awful food abominations not even suitable for the singing trash cans.

Tier: Hall of Horrors

NEXT:


Hamburger Patch
Name: Hamburger Patch
Species: Plant
Marital Status: This is quite literally a plant.

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Hamburger Patch
Name: Hamburger Patch
Species: Plant
Marital Status: This is quite literally a plant.



The Hamburger Patch is one of the OG McDonaldLand characters. It showed up in the 1971 Ad "McDonaldLand":



As an entity, they are many. They are plentiful. They are burgers. The Hamburger Patch could sing:


And was frequently shown as a source of food for Ronald and Pals, though ads depicting this are hard to come by online.

The HamburgerPatch tended to be featured pretty prominently in the ads as a set piece:

The Hamburger Patch is our first pretty clear victim of the Krofft Lawsuit, disappearing during the culling of the 80s. While the exact replica isn't super clear, I believe the offending likeliness are the Mushrooms, who are also talking plants. though not anywhere near as whimsical in design:

Outside of the McDonaldLand ad, the Hamburger Patch is notable for 2 contributions to our real world. First, they were made into some furniture for people and used as decor in the restaurants:

Secondly, they were used as evidence in the McLibel Case, and were accused of offering a fantastical and idealized depiction of the production process.

Honestly, while the Hamburger Patch itself isn't as recognizable as some prominent characters like Grimace, their use as a set piece really helped make McDonaldLand feel a bit more magical and fantastic than our world. The lack of them when they started filming in a more grounded set is clearly evident in the tone, even if it's not something that jumps out immediately. Their major recognizable contributions are definitely more in the real world than in the ads, but are still great.

For that reason the Hamburger Patch is (are?):
Tier: Tiers for Fiers

NEXT MONDAY:

Name: Evil Grimace
Species: Grimace(?)
First Appearance: 1971
Marital Status: Too evil.

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Evil Grimace
Species: Grimace(?)
First Appearance: 1971
Marital Status: Too evil.



Evil Grimace is a Grimace, but unlike the Grimace we all know and love he has 4 (four) arms! Evil Grimace showed up in a total of 4 commercials in early McDonaldLand, before being retired. Because this is 1 more than the embed limit, I can only link the following 3:







Evil Grimace had 4 arms, which he used to hold all the milk shakes and coca colas he stole. One of the earliest characters, Evil Grimace showed up in the original 1971/72 character design specification manual:

Evil Grimace was physically played by Patty Saunders, but voiced by Lenny Weinrib. Curiously, Lenny Weinrib was also the voice actor used for H.R. Pufnstuf himself (Lenny also did some other voice work for the Kroffts). Despite sharing a voice actor, Evil Grimace's disappearance was not due to the Krofft Lawsuit (partially since his disappearance pre-dates the culling by a good 10 years or so), but rather because he was simply too scary for the kids.

Evil Grimace is shown to be somewhat vain, being easily tricked by Ronald wearing only a hat into believing he was capable of winning a beauty contest. And rather than simply being kinda... dopy and chummy with Ronald, he's openly shown as being evil and stealing milkshakes, making him one of the initial adversaries Ronald had. There's good reason to believe he would be shown to have a castle, had his ads been able to continue, since in the background of the Gobblins' initial appearance there's a visible evil castle.


Outside of the ads, Evil Grimace was used as a prop for a playground equipment used at some restaurants:

Children could go inside of Evil Grimace and become trapped inside his stomach like some horrible weird monster. (After Evil Grimace's demise, some restaurants re-themed these to be themed after Grimace:

). Outside of this, Evil Grimace has had no appearances in video games, or the later TV Show.


Despite the novelty of Evil Grimace being a true adversary to Ronald, the fact that he was cancelled for actually scaring children shows he's perhaps too successful at this role. Because McDonaldLand is ultimately a world created to appeal to children, I think it's fair to say Evil Grimace never really had a chance to fit in here. All of Evil Grimace's legacy has been removed, replacing him entirely with a completely different Grimace named Grimace, and even having his playground equipment maimed. In this regards, I think Evil Grimace is the least successful, and ultimately the worst of the McDonaldLand characters I've covered thus far.

Tier: These Characters Suck.

NEXT:
Chicken McNugget Buddies

Name: McNugget Buddies
Species: McNugget
First Appearance: 1985
Marital Status: Open to oral experiences

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: McNugget Buddies
Species: McNugget
First Appearance: 1985
Marital Status: Open to oral experiences





The McNugget Buddies were originally shown off in 1985, and starred in their own set of wacky ads. One of their most notable characteristics if that, like the Fry Kids, they are legion and many. Unlike the Fry Kids however, the McNugget Buddies were given a few more personal visual appearances. This led to more freedom in the advertising world to create unique personalities and goofy personalities for the McNuggests. One trade-off from this is that it's pretty hard to tell if the McNuggets we're shown in each ad are the same or not.




Their design page in the 1987/1992 Character Design Specification Manual showcases this unique characterization:

Personally my favorite is the one with the briefcase. He's relateable.



The original designs were created in 1983, and puppets were produced by Tony Urbano and Tim Blaney. The original puppets are seen here (note the lack of accessories):

A good example of this different personalities is seen in the 1985 "Flying McNuggets" commercial where they put on a circus act:



McDonald's was able to use the easy outfitting opportunity to feature them as a pretty regular Halloween ad feature:






Frequently this tied in to an entire line of McNugget toys, often in different costumes like in the ads. Today, these lines still feature a small but rabid fanbase.

(1988 McNugget Buddy ad)

(Assorted McNugget Buddy toys)

(1997 Christmas McMemories release, based on the McNugget buddies)


One of the downsides of the McNugget buddies is that their small stature led them to have fewer interactions with the larger cast. Another major downside was the fact that they were limited to pushing McNuggets. Unlike the professor, fry kids, etc, the McNugget Buddies were literally a menu item, and it would be kinda weird to see them push Hamburgers. It is fair to say that while they lacked in diversity in menu items, they made up for it in diversity in ad placements and merchandise appeal.


Tier: All-Stars

NEXT:

Name: Captain Crook
Species: Human
First Appearance: 1971
Marital Status: Lookin for Booty

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Captain Crook
Species: Human
First Appearance: 1971
Marital Status: Lookin for Booty


Captain Crook is best described as looking like a pirate. That design pattern has consistently remained throughout the years. He actually had a total of 3 major distinct designs he used in the ads, which is quite a lot for a character who started being phased out over time.

The original 1971 and 1972 look had green hair, and used a rubber mask for the face, and featured a completely buttoned jacket.

In 1975's design guideline we can see that Captain Crook changed his jacket to one that showed his clothes underneath, bought some pants without a patch, and pulled his scarf under his chin. His hair may have been changed to a darker color as well, though I'm unclear if that's a result of the scans or not due to coloring problems from the era.

In 1983 Captain Crook received his final design, which led to him unbuttoning his coat, changing his sword to a scimitar, ditching his scarf, getting a more comedic and kind looking mask, as well as adopting a parrot. At this point he also changed his name to simply The Captain (no relation).


Captain Crook is actually one of the earliest characters in the ad campaign, showing up in the 2nd McDonaldLand ad (filmed in Fall of 1970, and airing in January of 1971):


In the initial appearance, Captain Crook is interested in Hot Apple Pies.


This was shortly changed to a more fitting Filet-O-Fish sandwich as his item of choice, as shown in 1977's Ship Shape:


It's kinda odd that this wasn't the initial food item for choice for Captain Crook, given that the Filet-o-fish reached nationwide rollout at McDonald's restaurants in 1965.


The Captain's reintroduction ad originally planned for 1983 "The Filet-O-Fish Story" (featuring his new design) was scrapped during filming, and never released anywhere. There are some leaked photos of the filming process where we can see a few details:

From these behind-the-scenes photos we can get a pretty good idea about what this commercial might have looked like, with Ronald and The Captain facing down a sea monster attacking McDonald's (presumably for some Filet-O-Fish sandwiches). This ad actually appeared to use a flooded studio for filming at points, rather than just some cardboard waves like in earlier ads, showing what I assume is an increase in budget.


Instead, "Lunch with the Captain" aired in 1984 instead, introducing the world to the newly renamed and redesigned "The Captain" alongside his parrot Mikey. The ad was originally a minute long, however my sources only have the shortened 30 second version instead :(


Some people have wondered whether or not the push back on a Filet-o-Fish ad was due to McDonald's not wanting to use the McDonaldLand characters (who were typically used to appeal to Children) to advertise food that was not part of the Kid's Meal initiatives. However, some of the folks who created the ads stated that McDonald's as a company cared less about the specific menu items being advertised by the characters as the years went on, so this seemed unlikely. The real reason they gave was that McDonald's felt that the sea monster featured in this ad was actually too distracting, and took attention away from the newly redesigned Captain Crook.

The Captain stopped appearing in ads somewhere around the 1980s, and as such never showed up in The Wacky ADventures of Ronald McDonald. I can't find much mention of him in the Krofft lawsuit, but it seems like his disappearance was more due to them simply wanting to reduce the number of characters, rather than lawsuit related.

In the real world, he had a slide in some play lands:

He also had an action figure based on his second design:

And a funko-pop (limited to NYC CC):



Captain Crook has a pretty interesting relationship to McDonald's Treasure Land Adventure. The game features a Pirate Captain boss, however despite Captain Crook's villainous past, Treasure elected to make every boss in the game a new character. As such, the pirate boss (affectionately named Captain Big-Lips) is NOT Captain Crook:

In fact, Captain Crook doesn't appear during the game at all. He is, however, present in the game. In a truly weird twist, Captain Crook shows up in the post-credits "Congratulations!" splash image. Because this game came out in 1992, this makes it likely his last known appearance in any McDonald's Media, and shows that it's possible the Krofft lawsuit punishments were limited solely to television ads.

(A rare glimpse of the post-credits scene in question).


Overall, Captain Crook has a super strong track record, especially given that he was frequently tied to a food that isn't designed to appeal to children. His multitude of appearances and stories is quite frankly, amazing given that he quite literally disappears after the 1980s. That said, he never quite hit the same cultural value that Grimace or the Mcnugget Buddies had, and now his popularity is much lower than in his hey-day.

Tier: Tiers for Fiers

NEXT:
Mac Tonight

Species: Moon
Marital Status: Open
First Appearance: 1986

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Mac Tonight
Species: Moon
Marital Status: Open
First Appearance: 1986


Mac Tonight is pretty different from the entrants so far in a few major ways. First off, his design is a lot more grounded. Look at it:

He's a humanoid with a crescent moon head and a suit jacket. He's suave, sophisticated, and into jazz. Part of this differentiation here is that Mac Tonight is actually made and created in a very different origin than the rest of the characters I've covered. The bulk of those characters were created by Needham, Harper, and Steers.

Rather than being created for a national marketing plan, Mac Tonight was originally created by a franchisee group- The McDonald's Operators of Southern California. They were trying to encourage customers to eat dinner at McDonald's, increasing sales which historically were low. To accomplish this, they went to a Los Angeles based Ad Agency named Davis, Johnson, Mogul & Colombatto. Mac proved incredibly popular. So popular that the ads were launched nationally, and DJMC became somewhat renowned as a result of the ads. Initially, Mac has been claimed to have increased dinner sales by 10% in a year.

Mac Tonight's name and whole motif was derived from a Bobby Darin song called Mack the Knife. Hence why most of his ads feature him singing:






Unfortunately, Bobby Darin's estate did not particularly enjoy Mac Tonight, and they sued McDonald's in 1989. This was settled out of court and Mac was retired as a result.


...Until 2007, when he was revived for the Southeast Asia market!



Unlike the original ads, he's now CGI! And plays Saxophone! Cool.


Outside of the ads, Mac Tonight was pushed kinda hard. He actually got animatronics in some stores of him at a piano:

and was used as a livery in NASCAR (and probably Forza):

Mac Tonight was even featured in a Simpsons episode.

That said, there is another dark side to Mac Tonight. In the 2000s he was co-opted by white supremacists to create "Moon Man" memes featuring him while text-to-speech voices sang racist raps. The memes were so problematic that the ADL considers it to be a hate symbol, much like Pepe the Frog. It's even to the point where AT&T allegedly filters out the word pair from text messages.

I do think it's important to stress that this is no fault of Mac himself, or Mcdonald's and shouldn't be held against him as a character at all.

Instead what should be noticed is the lack of meaningful interactions with Mcdonald's other characters, an extremely short-lived career, and off-beat origins. Mac Tonight remains isolated, and ultimately inconsequential to McDonaldLand, though his impact on the business as a whole is still there.

Tier: Hall of Horrors

NEXT:
I dive deep into the McLibel case. Going to spend Friday presenting the importance of it in lieu of a character, since I have some busy stuff coming up this weekend I need to prep for. I'll have another character on Monday don't worry.

 

[CaptainNuevo]

BACK TO THE CHARACTERS!



Name: Iam Hungry
Job: VP of Snacking
Relationship Status: Love bytes
First Appearance: 1998


Iam Hungry first showed up in 1998, as an all CGI character. That's right, unlike the other characters covered so far, Iam Hungry has no physical real world presence at all (even Sundae had a physical character presence in the start of some episodes). Instead, we get a CGI menace which exists solely to make Ronald's life miserable.

The 2000 McDonald's Character Guide describes him as "an aggressive, demanding, edgy and outrageous fuzzball who is all appetite" and that's about the best description I could find.

He has a business card for the "VP of Snacking", but I'm unclear whether or not he's actually employed by McDonald's or not.

Iam Hungry first showed up in the eponymous 1998 ad "Iam Hungry". The storyboards for it are here:

Along with the final ad:



Iam Hungry's CGI appearance was based on old Looney Toons type characters, so they borrowed a lot of sight gags from them, and this let him be a more slapstick and comedic character than most. Unfortunately, his character was almost immediately Flanderized, with all subsequent dialog being replaced to him solely saying "Iam Hungry" over and over.





Outside of ads, he also showed up in the Wacky Adventures of Ronald McDonald in one episode:



Overall, Iam Hungry seems like a character who was created and almost immediately abandoned. I can't tell whether or not this is just a result of CGI being difficult to manage in that time period, or a lack of appeal to the public. He was dropped in 2001 officially, making it possible that his last appearance was in the character style guide above. It is a little weird they felt the need to create a whole new character whose whole thing was "Eating food" when they already had a perfectly good eater in Bernice, but I guess Iam's role was more annoying and upbeat.

Due to the lack of long-term vision or impact, as well as the fact that he got like... 3 ads:
Tier: These Characters Suck

NEXT:

The Happy Meal Puppets


Name: Happy Meal
First appearance: 1975
Relationship Status: Polyamorous (but taken)
Species: Various

 

[CaptainNuevo]

The Happy Meal Puppets


Name: Happy Meal Puppets
First appearance: 1979
Relationship Status: Polyamorous (but taken)
Species: Various


The Happy Meal Puppet crew are a crew of friends comprised of various happy meal items. In their original incarnation, the Happy Meal Puppets were a burger, a soda, some fries, and a bag of cookies. The Happy Meal puppets were designed to help market the newly created Happy Meal starting in 1979.

(Note how dapper the Hamburger looks)


In 1981 they were used to help introduce the McNuggets:



By 1986 they seemed at the height of their stardom and popularity:


They were huge, stars selling food to the kids and beloved by everyone. Nothing could touch them! And then...

Radio silence. As fast as their popularity grew, this 1986 ad was one of their last (if not actual last) TV ads actually filmed and released.

In 1996 they were redesigned and scheduled to appear in ads again, featuring a new line-up. The 1996 line-up included:
A burger
French Fries (now Female)
A Soda
A TOY

A storyboard image of the now cancelled ad is here:

We can see from this that the Toy would have been likely more like an RC car, possibly utilizing the Toy Story popularity.


By the year 2000 (supposedly actually at 1996 when the storyboard above had been created) they had been turned into actual puppets:

(Pictured are Tony Urbano as the Fries & Hamburger puppets, Tim Blaney as the Soft Drink & Happy Meal Box puppets, and Shannon Blaney as the Toy Puppet.)

The above image was actually for the 2000s McDonald's style guide, and not used for an ad. So McDonald's for some reason allowed construction of these puppets, did nothing with them for 4 years, then used them for a single internal photo.

In 2001 they played around with the idea of highlighting the Chicken McNuggets) as well:

Some people might argue "This is just reusing the Hamburger Patch puppets! Aren't they the same?!" but that's simply not true. This comparison picture shows the differences quite clearly:

In summary, the Happy Meal Puppets are an extremely interesting case study. On the one hand, the product they were designed to help pitch became one of the best selling and perhaps most iconic parts of McDonald's. On the other hand... the characters themselves are almost forgotten. In fact, their popularity got eclipsed handily by some of the characters they helped introduce, the McNugget buddies. It's bizarre and kinda sad to see them drop that way. If the characters themselves had the lasting popularity and cultural resonance that their menu item had, they would easily be an All-Star. As it is, they're somewhat easy to ignore and move on from.

Tier: Tiers for Fiers

Next:
HAMBURGLAR

Name: Hamburglar
First Appearance: 1971
Relationship Status: Taking.

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Hamburglar
First Appearance: 1971
Relationship Status: Taking.

The Hamburglar is one of the oldest denizens of McDonaldLand, showing up in the Third ad in the series titled "The Hamburglar":


This ad shows Hamburglar as already demonstrating one of his most defining character traits: He loves Hamburgers. He's shown immediately stealing Hamburgers from McDonald's. A true criminal! Interestingly, he's stopped here by falling for a trick involving Chocolate Shakes (despite shakes being Evil Grimace's thing). This trait would later be downplayed in future iterations.


Hamburglar being one of the original characters also had quite a few iterations to his design. The initial appearance was much more ghoulish looking than the future ones:

To avoid the embed limit, I'm going to just be linking some other ads featuring the characters here:
In 1975's "Marching Band" Hamburglar (along with Captain Crook and Evil Grimace) abandoned their usual villain roles for a more... friendly time playing music with the gang: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ks2C9YAbj_c
In Cowboy Story Hamburglar is accused of (again) stealing Cheeseburgers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMoFNBQY8Es
In 1977 we see Hamburglar knows how to drive: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XU0Kl5vmGQ8



In the 1980s Hamburglar was a bit more friendly to the crew, though he still said Robble Robble a lot.


His behavior here fit his more friendly and fun appearance, instead of being quite as villain.

In 1988 "Hamburglar's Stripes" gave some backstory to the character and explained how he got a striped suit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AU1iq9rqYJ0
Though 1983 showed he was still up to stealing Hamburgers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOfkIoUq4qw
As he was wont to do in 1987: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGKoiLWTw9I

Hamburglar was originally played by Frankie Delfino, much later Tommy Vincini, and voiced by Larry Storch and later Howard MOrris.


Hamburglar is one of the most popular characters, surviving both the culling post-Krofft lawsuit, as well as being a mainstay in both ads and most forms of media of the McDonaldLand franchise. In M.C. Kids, Hamburglar is the main villain, responsible for kicking off the plot of the game and being the big bad you try to track down.

In McDonald's Treasure Land Adventure he has a nice house, and gives you a hint on how to beat the boss for food:

He shows up in the Wacky Adventures of Ronald McDonald looking like Chuckie from Rugrats wearing bad cosplay:

He even got a revival in 2015 to promote the sirloin burger although in a much... different fashion. This makes him have a much more recent ad than almost any other character featured here:




Overall, Hamburglar withstood trial upon trial, outlasting the expectations anyone could assign to him and being one of the most long-standing members of the crew.

Tier: All-Star

Next:
Name: Uncle O'Grimacey
Species: Grimace
Relationship Status: Your creepy Uncle

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Uncle O'Grimacey is Grimace's uncle. Because they're both Grimaces, they both share a similar body type. Uncle O'Grimacey's main differentiating feature is that he's green (like the color of the Shamrock Shakes he loves):


Additionally, he has a pretty dapper vest on.


His costume is well documented in the 1975 specification manual:

Uncle O'Grimacey was a separate costume entirely from Grimace, which allowed him to show up in the same ads as he nephew. He was portrayed by Robert Towers, who also played Captain Crook (meaning getting both these on screen at the same time would be hard to do).

Canonically, Uncle O'Grimacey didn't originally even live in McDonaldLand. He merely visited there from Ireland. This gives us an interesting insight into the mechanics of McDonaldLand as a whole, since Grimaces as a species are apparently welcome in other countries (also other countries exist).

Due to his tie in to a seasonal menu item, Uncle O'Grimacey didn't receive a ton of extra merchandise, and what he did receive was primarily promotional:

Outside of this, Uncle O'Grimacey never really had any other ads show up, and was only really tied in to the Shamrock Shake. His greatest contributions to McDonaldLand are mostly around the lore we can interpret about the Grimaces as a species. That said, there's not really a lot of ground that a Green Irish-accented character could cover here, so unlike characters like CosMc and The Professor, Uncle O'Grimacey's lack of notable commercials feels more acceptable. Despite living up to his potential, Uncle O'Grimacey is pretty inconsequential, having even less utility and function than Bernice. He was cut before even the lawsuit happened, which speaks volumes about his place in the chart.

Tier: Hall of Horrors

NEXT:

Name: Officer Big Mac
Species: Burger
Relationship Status: Married to Justice
First Appearance: 1971

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Officer Big Mac
Species: Burger
Relationship Status: Married to Justice
First Appearance: 1971


Officer Big Mac is the law in McDonaldLand. He showed up super early on, helping to ensure crimes like theft weren't being committed in McDonaldLand.

Officer Big Mac is recognized for his Big Mac head, which he retained over the years. In his original outfit, he sported a blue jacket and pants, with a McDonald's M belt buckle:

By 1975 his outfit was updated to have higher shoes with white laces, along with a nose job and a bit of smoothing out of his face:

Officer Big Mac was played by Jerry Maren, who played the middle lollipop kid in the 1939 production of Wizard of Oz. He was voiced by Ted Cassidy (who also did Lurch from the Addams Family's voice).

Officer Bic Mac was one of the main character of McDonald Land's closest allies, constantly helping them to thwart the villains Captain Crook, Evil Grimace, and Hamburglar, as they attempted to steal food.


As a Police Officer, Officer Big Mac is also a renowned musician, capable of playing the Drums:


Most notably, Officer Big Mac was in the VERY FIRST MCDONALDLAND AD!


When the Krofft brothers' lawsuit was ended, the money had to come from somewhere, and McDonaldLand was forced to dig deep in their pocket books to find the required money for the fee. Officer Big Mac was one of the characters alleged to be similar to H.R. Pufnstuf himself:

As a result, the McDonaldLand Police Department was defunded, and Officer Big Mac lost his job. After this, you'll notice McDonaldLand really seemed to stop having clear villain roles in the ads, making McDonaldLand an early proponent of the benefits of defunding the police force.


Officer Big Mac has some long-standing popularity, inspiring a lot of fanart:

(A fan recreation of a real playground piece).



In the stores, he was a "Climber jail" toy in the playland:

Because he was removed after the Krofft lawsuit, Officer Big Mac has almost no representation in any media past the 80s, not even appearing in the 1983 design specifications book as far as I can tell.

He did appear in Data East's 1988 NES title Donald Land (translated as Big Mac Police):

While this came out after the Krofft Lawsuit, the game itself was released only in Japan, which means that it's possible the lawsuit and the requirement to cease and desist use of those characters was restricted to the US and not fully complied in international markets.


Overall, Officer Big Mac contributed a lot to McDonaldLand itself as a land, despite his occupation. He provided Ronald some level of authority and showed punishment for morally wrong actions to children. That said, a modern interpretation might see him as "Copaganda." Nonetheless, it's clear Officer Big Mac had a big impact on McDonaldLand in its earlier years, and his absence coincides with a tonal shift. It's actually a bit frightening to imagine what a more realistic/grounded Officer Big Mac might behave as when the ads shifted to less fantasy.

Since he lost his job, and was key to setting the tone and world of early McDonaldLand...

Tier: Would Share a Meal With

NEXT:
Birdie the Early Bird (finally showing her face like... 3 weeks in)

Name: Birdie the Early Bird
Species: Bird
First Appearance: 1980
Relationship: Taken up by Flights of Fancy

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Birdie the Early Bird
Species: Bird
First Appearance: 1980
Relationship: Taken up by Flights of Fancy


Birdie The Early Bird was first designed in 1979 as a way of promoting the newly launched breakfast menu. Birdie has the distinction of being the first openly female character in the crew. Birdie is known for being a bird, and looking like a bird. She is frequently seen wearing a pink overalls, and flight goggles (like birds normally do), and has pigtails (also like birds normally do with the hair that birds normally have). Since she was created in 1979, she has 2 major designs, once for her original appearance (mislabeled below) and then a redesign in 1986:

A 1992 copy of the design manual shows her other angles:

Birdie originally was used as a means to get Ronald to fly, and go eat some non-burger food like pancakes:



In 1983 Birdie starred in "A Dreamy Breakfast", which was the first appearance of Ronald and her in an animated format:



In 1986 Birdie got a backstory:

In this we learn that Ronald helped hatch her, which makes her his daughter or something. This is almost NEVER EXPLORED.

Outside of the ads, Birdie is featured as a mandatory NPC in McDonald's Treasure Land Adventure. In it, she's caught and has to eat Ronald's life to break free of a cage. This is MANDATORY. You HAVE To let Birdie steal your precious HP. In exchange, she later saves Ronald from falling to his death.

Birdie, pictured where she belongs.


She's also in the Wacky Adventures of Ronald McDonald:

She looks very... different here and really off-putting. Birdie's face has haunted my nightmares this weekend, and now I must share my curse with you.


Birdie was voiced by the late Russie Taylor (voice of Minnie Mouse) and portrayed by Patti Maloney in the McDonald's television commercials and is voiced by Christine Cavanaugh in the cartoon.

Also Birdie has a fanart community dedicated to her. It's... kinda creepy at times. Guys PLEASE DO NOT SEXUALIZE MCDONALDS CHARACTERS.


Overall, Birdie... kinda is? Her design is a bit creepy, It's very distinct, and the use of pink and yellow has her definitely stand out a lot comparatively to the rest of the cast who are typically done in less bright colors. That said, the choice to make her vaguely bird-like but more on the humanoid end of the spectrum gives her a more creepy vibe than likely intended. From a character use perspective, she's into breakfast. Everyone else is into lunch and dinner. Never really felt like she fit in, and the fact that Ronald is essentially her dad figure is never touched upon. Imagine a series of ads delving into their father-daughter relationship, or potentially some of her enjoying the McDonald's play facilities, as Ronald yells repeatedly that it's time to go.


Overall, Birdie is missed potential, but potential that also doesn't line up with everyone else.

Tier: These Characters Suck.

NEXT:
SPEEDEE

Name: Speedee
Species: ????
First appearance: 1959(?)

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Speedee
Species: ????
First appearance: 1959(?)

So it's come to this. McDonald's FIRST mascot. Speedee.

Speedee was created in 1959 for some of the first McDonald's restaurants as a mascot for them. He's a burger head (though his face is on top of the bun, as opposed to Officer Big Mac's, where the patty is his mouth), with a chef's outfit on. He's often seen holding a sign saying "I'm 'Speedee'" on it, in case you didn't know who he is.

Speedee was introduced to McDonald's as a mascot representing the "Speedee Service System" that the McDonald's corporation was introducing into the world. Speedee was shown in neon on the McDonald's signature arches:

(One of the 2 remaining signs featuring Speedee)


Speedee never featured in ads, mostly due to him being ousted by 1962 or so, by a character who I can't name due to spoilers. Speedee's disappearance was partially due to market research indicating that customers associated the iconic arches with McDonald's more than they associated Speedee himself with it, so he was cut out and abandoned altogether.

To this day, some people still make pilgrimages to the remaining Speedee signs, arguing it indicated a more pure and heartfelt less corporate vision.


While you would be correct in saying Speedee's short-term success, limited popularity, and lack of TV appearances made him personally less culturally relevant than later mascots, it's important to remember this was the 1950s, and it was in the early stages of McDonald's growing to the worldwide empire it is today. Speedee's promise of quick eating, and fast food resonated with America in a way we're still grappling with as a nation to this day. Speedee paved the way for McDonald's to have more culturally successful mascots, and is still an important history note for that purpose.

Tier: Would Share a Meal With

NEXT:
Mike the Microphone
Species: Microphone
Relationship Status: Wired in.

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Mike the Microphone
Species: Microphone
Relationship Status: Wired in.



Mike the Microphone is a character created for some audio cassette tapes (those are like iPods but for only 1 album, which is like a playlist but typically only features songs from 1 artist). He guards and operates the McDonaldLand Magical Radio Station, which plays music for McDonaldLand. Mike was a one-off character created for these 2 albums. He was voiced by Larry Moran.

The tapes in question (you can see Mike in the cover of Ronald Makes it Magic).


For some reason these 2 classic albums, which are classic staples on road trips (even to this day when I go on long drives with my wife in my 1994 Celica), were never put on spotify. Luckily for us, some archivist has uploaded these entire albums to youtube! So you can listen to these whenever you want (provided it has internet):


This album features a mix of covers, original songs, and McDonald-fied covers of classic songs! Fun for the whole Family!




This album is a lot shorter, but still full of some good McDonald Magic!


And this album technically doesn't have Mike, but maybe you can play it at your next halloween party or something? If gatherings are allowed then, busting out some of this knowledge would surely impress what remaining friends you have:





Outside of those albums, Mike's place is mostly behind the scenes where he helped with the creation of some of our favorite ads! As such, he has few actual appearances in front of the camera, but some behind the scenes footage shows his importance:

(Ok I made that last bit up, that's just a mic, not Mike)

Overall, Mike's contribution to McDonaldLand directly is... pretty limited. He's an audio tool in a world whose most notable contributions and whole vibe has been inherently visual. If he were used in radio ads and had a long history of those, it might be a bit different of a story, but McDonaldLand as a whole was primarily television, as the dominant form of media.

Tier:
Hall of Horrors

NEXT:

Mayor McCheese
Species: Sentient Burger
Relationship Status: Politicians are all pervs.

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Mayor McCheese was also one of the original characters. In his original version, he wore a maroon jacket with a sash reading Mayor across it.

Some uncolored lineart shows the oufit from the 1971 Design Specification Manual:

A color version is here:

In 1973, the first major redesign process started. Mayor McCheese started becoming closer to the design he used today. He swapped out his pants for some cool striped ones. This design was short-lived (so much so that I can't find many appearances of it in official documentation), but we're able to see it in the below ensemble picture:

By the 1975 Design manual, the process was complete! The Mayor cut off "ayor" from his sash, and added a second tone of color to his waistcoat. He really was starting to look dapper!

The Mayor showed up early on in the ad series, and was never ousted from power! While we're never shown elections taking place in the ads, we can infer that Mayor McCheese had to fight a campaign to continue to rule McDonaldLand.



The mayor is often shown being friendly with Ronald, and helping run the land.


He's also got some musical talent, being pictured off-stage (though not appearing in the ad) of 1983's Hamburger Chorus:

He's almost always shown as an authority figure, such as in this western ad:




Sadly, Mayor McCheese was impacted by the Krofft lawsuit, being claimed as looking too similar to the titular HR Pufnstuf (Who also wears a sash):

Outside of the commercials, there were rumors that McDonald's was looking at buying Busch Gardens in the mid-80s to make a McDonaldLand theme park! Mayor McCheese has a brief bit of concept art indicating he would have had a ride there:

Like other early McDonaldLand characters, Mayor Mccheese had his own playground equipment:

And had some store decorations as well.

In video games, Mayor McCheese shows up in Data East's Famicom Platformer game Donald Land, where he appears before the starting stage to wish you "Good luck":

(If you're curious about this game, I made a recreation of the first stage in Super Mario Maker 2 way back when it first launched that I think is still up: Y73-2XD-TKF)


Overall, Mayor McCheese is probably the most famous of the characters who was killed off, and his image is still iconic to this day. He's a classic design, who fits his role perfectly for the time.

Tier:
All-Stars

NEXT:
Apple Pie Trees

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Apple Pie Trees
First Appearance: 1971
Relationship Status: They've got a long family tree ;)

Often thought of as a purely environmental aspect, the Apple Pie Trees are nonetheless a crucial part of making McDonaldLand what it is. They've been showing up as part of the environment since the beginning, even showing up as part of the 1972 McDonaldLand poster (which I want to buy for my living room):

The Apple Pie tree is known for being a tree which grows Apple Pies. Long-time fans will remember Captain Crook's initial taste for Apple Pies... which can be directly traced back to this tree.


The Apple Pie Trees have been around since the start, appearing in even the 4th ad French Fry Thatch, where Ronald walks right by them at the start:


They were a key part of setting the mood for the land, even earning a page in the coveted design spec manual:

They even helped in fundraisers, like Jerry Lewis' 1973 fundraiser stop:

The Apple Pie trees have a long lineage in McDonaldLand, canonically dating back to over 4,000,000 years before 1975 (as evidenced in 1975's "Time Machine" commercial, where Ronald goes back in time 4,000,000 years). You can see the tree to the left of the time machine if you look closely:


A still image of slightly higher quality:

In fact, the Apple Pie Trees proved hardy in other ways. Around 1975 the McDonald corporation was financially tired of paying for a full stage set, full time. So they opted to only rent an existing studio, and tore down much of the standing set. This is directly responsible for the shift of the sky color for example. The Apple Pie Trees were some of the few prop/set pieces saved. You can see this in this 1976 ad:


Seen more clearly in the background in this ad:

Sadly, much like in the real world, the hubris of man was ultimately the only thing that was able to take down the Apple Pie Trees, as they were also a victim of the Krofft Lawsuit. While I can't find conclusive evidence they were an accused property, they were likely done away with during the shift to the more grounded ads of the 80s, as a result of the lawsuit pushing McDonald's to leave the fantasy of McDonaldLand behind.


Of course, like all good characters, they have a strong history of being used outside of the ads.

Early on, the Apple Pie Trees were featured in the McDonaldLand cookies, as far back as 1972. A complete preserved photograph of the set is available here:

They were popular decorations in the play-land as well:

And even were featured on the high-chair trays!

Overall, the Apple Pie Tree is a key part of what gave McDonaldLand its magic. They helped make it someplace magical, and full of wonder and happiness. It gave motivation to some beloved characters, and was important enough to be placed in stores.

Tier: Tiers for Fiers

NEXT:
Aunt Millie and Tillie

Species: Grimace
Marital Status: Widowed

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Aunt Millie and Aunt Tillie
Species: Grimace
Marital Status: Widowed

Aunt Millie and Tillie have a whopping 1 appearance in McDonaldLand ads, starring in 1999's "Picnic" commercial. In it, the 4 "main" McDonald's characters of the 90s are having a picnic. Grimace mentions that the aunts are coming, however another character interprets him as saying ants and worries. TUrns out, the character was right to be worried because something much scarier was coming: Extended family.




This is the only time we see or hear mention of Aunt Milly and Tilly, and it's brief. It's kinda impressive they managed to make 2 extra Grimace outfits solely for a one-off ad, especially since I'm sure they're not cheap. Interestingly, both aunts lack Irish accents, and they don't show up with Uncle O'Grimacey, suggesting these Aunts are unrelated to him, introducing us to more of Grimace's family tree.

The Picnic ad is an important historical note because it's the last time that Hamburglar, Grimace, Birdie, and the 4th character show up in a single ad together. It's the end of an era in a sad way.

Aunt Millie and Tillie lack any entries in the official design specifications.

Overall, Aunt Millie and Tillie are pretty one-shot characters, but you can tell they truly care for their nephew Grimace, and they definitely seem to be pretty well off Aunts. The design capture a very Aunt aesthetic well. The fact they only show up once and then never again is pretty ideal for extended family, so they play their role well. If anything, we should have had a bit more screentime to them.

Tier: Hall of Horrors

NEXT:

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Donald McDonald
Species: Human (Clown)
Marital Status: ツンデレ

So we're here finally. Ready to talk about one of the most iconic characters in the McDonald's repertoire: Donald McDonald. Most of you may not actually recognize this character, since he's a Japan EXCLUSIVE! That's right. Today's entry brings us to our first ever non-US character. That's right, Donald never actually showed up in any American media. As a result of this, my information here might be a bit more sparse and hard to find, since my sources aren't as deeply familiar with Donald, but I'll do my best.

Donald gets his name from the restaurant, and is quite alliterative and fun to say! Donald McDonald. It rolls off the tongue.

From a design standpoint, Donald is always seen wearing a yellow suit and frequently striped sleeves. Exact timing for the various suit changes is hard to find in english, but you can definitely see a continuum where he wears a different outfit in a few spots. Such as this bench statue:

Much like Mac Tonight, Donald has very few interactions with the rest of the McDonaldLand gang, which suggests that Japan exists, but is far enough away from the rest of the McDonaldLand world that there's very little crossover. Unlike Uncle O'Grimacey however, Donald never visits McDonaldLand, and doesn't seem to have any family there.

Donald was frequently put in a series of ads named "Donald Rumors", where the ad asked a question about Donald, and kids were encouraged to go find out the answer to the question to see how well they know Donald! And where do they find the answer? If you guessed "McDonald's restaurants in Japan!" You are...


WRONG. If you guess "McDonald's Restaurants all over the world" you are...


ALSO WRONG. The correct answer was "McDonald's Japan's website".

A compilation of the ads (along with some others which don't seem to be part of the Donald Rumors campaign) is here:



These ads were eventually turned into a meme and viral video, often being edited against upbeat music and Donald exploded in popularity. Donald received his own MUGEN character:

(When is Donald coming to smash :( )



Officially, Donald was featured in a variety of games across systems, all of which were exclusive to Japan. First off, he was the titular character of "Donald Land":


He was additionally, the main character of Game Gear game "Donald no Magical World":

One interesting thing about Donald no Magical World is that if you play the cartridge on a US or EU GameGear, the game itself is fully translated. It just never released here. One interesting sidenote is that the english translation was going to replace him entirely with an American character:

(Indicated by the name shift, and the fact that the character art is wildly different).


Overall, Donald has some fun commercials, and was iconic for the time. His ad campaigns are funny, and give him a distinct goofball mentality that's rarely seen in other characters. He was popular enough to become a minor meme in the US even, despite never being seen here at all officially. His biggest drawback is the lack of interaction with the rest of the cast, which is a huge missing opportunity. He'd have been the perfect addition to that cast for some crossovers, but sadly we don't live in thatworld.

TIER: Tiers for Fiers

NEXT:

Vulture
Species: Vulture
Marital Status: You're too lively

 

[CaptainNuevo]

The Vulture first showed up in McDonaldLand in 1992's "Search for the Runaway Voice". He made 4 appearances in total in the ads, but never received a formal name.

The vulture looks like a pretty realistic vulture, but cartoonified a bit. He really doesn't have too much extra to his design beyond his eyes. In the ads he tends to be more of a scenery character helping to build a spookier mood. His first appearance in Search for the Runaway Voice he's literally just hanging out on a mountain:




Later on, he's lucky enough to get a costume in some Halloween themed ads such as "You Don't Want to Be Chicken on Halloween" in 1996:




And in 1995's "What Am I Going to Be on Halloween" he dresses up as a random clown:




The 4th ad he appeared in was actually one of the first ones ever discussed here: 1993's Makin' Movies.


He showed up in some storyboards for the ads as well, which show he was intended as a big of comic relief in the later ads and not just scenery:

His puppeteer was Tony Urbano, but I can't find a voice attribution for the few appearances in which he showcases his sarcasm.

Sadly, the Vulture was never really made into much of a character, and he lacks an official entry in the design specification manuals. He was never featured in any games as far as I know (having come out after most of them), so he's relegated to these 4 ads. That said, McDonaldLand needed a good bird character, and I'm glad they got one in the Vulture.

That said, he's a great pal to share a meal with. He's a vulture, he'll eat your leftovers!

Tier: Would Share a Meal With

NEXT:

The Fry Time Clock

Name: Fry Time
Species: Sentient Clock
Relationship Status: Married

 

[CaptainNuevo]

The Clock in Fry Time is another beloved iconic mascot, tragically also with very little screen-time across ads. The Clock from Fry Time was created for the ad named Fry Time. I'll link to it first, before describing the ad and why it came about, and why he's worth including:




The ad is another ad focused on McDonald's French Fries, a fried treat made of potatoes sliced into long strips, and submerged in hot oil until it makes them crisp. French fries as a food were invented in the 1600s in Belgium, and weren't introduced into the McDonald's menu until the 1900s. The original recipe used a frying oil that was 7% vegetable oil, and 93% beef tallow. McDonald's wanted to sell these, and they were popular. So popular that Ray Kroc himself took an interest in the McDonald's brothers business and decided to help franchise it in 1954. Julia Child loved them.

Fast forward 12 years. Phil Sokolof has a heart attack. He lives, but realizes he hates saturated fats. He wants them to become unsaturated. He decides to take on McDonald's.

Fast forward some years. It's 1971. McDonaldLand ads are starting. The company wants a character to help show kids how delicious the fries are. What do you do with fries? You gobble them. The Gobblins are born. Later they become the Fry Kids. That's another entry. You already read it.

The year is 1990. Sokolof has finally won his battle. McDonald's changes their recipe. The fries that were beloved are no more. A year before I could taste them, they're ripped away from me. The recipe I grow up with is made with 100% vegetable oil. People hate it.

The year is 2007. The recipe changes yet again (to the one most of you probably had). It's now made with a lower saturated fat vegetable oil. It's been 23 years since the Fry Time Clock was last seen. It is no longer fry time.

Rewind to 1985. It's the height of the McDonald's French Fry popularity. MTV is booming. McDonald's drive-thrus are packed. People can't get enough. It's so much McDonald's needs more characters to fit in the popularity for the fry. They decide to make an ad solely about the fries encouraging people to eat them. MTV is popular. People drive to drive thrus… in their cars? The Cars are on MTV.

It's time to make an ad for fries. It's FRY TIME.

The Fry Time ad itself was heavily inspired by The Car' You Might Think video, and was a musical way to sell french fries to the audiences. It used new visual techniques to create more fun graphics on the screen and do some cool effects. Just watch the video, it's way harder to describe.



Overall, this ad is the only appearance of the Fry Time Clock. He was relegated to a single music video, but has such an intricate outfit it's hard to not like him. That said, we don't really get much out of him at all. He's there, says a line, and… that's it. Even in othr ads with clocks, he's absent.

Tier: Hall of Horrors

NEXT:
Happy

Species: Cardboard Box
Relationship Status: He needs love to keep him happy

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Happy
Species: Cardboard Box
Relationship Status: He needs love to keep him happy



Happy is our second character this week to be created outside of the US. Happy was created in France in 2009, as a way of helping to give the happy meal a new image, and encourage kids to learn more about healthy eating. It wasn't until 5 years later that he somehow snuck past USCIS and entered the US Market, in 2014.

His initial introduction in the US was... not great. People thought he was monstrous. Hideous. Terrifying. They thought he might try to eat the babies. Happy was a bit upset:

yes that's right. Happy is a species. Not a singular entity. Like the fry kids, Happy is legion. And so are his ads. I can't track down exactly which ad he originally appeared in in France, but someone put together an 18 minute compilation of Ads featuring Happy:





Watching this video gives you a really good idea of what exactly Happy is. He's a goofy, athletic character whose main personality is that he's... without one. He's an amorphous blob, capable of being plucked into any situation, without any emotional baggage. Kinda like another popular character from that time period...

From a design perspective, Happy is relatively solid for what he does. His boxy nature gives his body a more cartoony feel to his movements, and he's able to be both agile and fun. The fact he's infinitely reproducible gives us a lot of minion like ads, Happy is essentially a vessel, doing the one role he is made to play, and they can use him for everything.

The tone of Happys ads are all more goofy and less personable. I think it's pretty easy to see the tonal shift and type of advertising on display shift to being more about fun and goofy hijinks, and away from actually caring about the characters. In fact, you'll notice Happy doesn't actually interact with the previously existing McDonaldLand characters (at least in the US). By 2014, McDonald's had retired the McDonaldLand characters from ads, the public had shifted from loving these characters to being upset at McDonald's intentionally targeting children with their ads. As a result, McDonald's scrapped them to avoid controversy, and we get Happy as a result. Someone who... promotes healthy eating choices sometimes, but is otherwise an emotionless personless blob.

I can't find data to back it up, but I imagine another major push here was the desire to save money on ads. The existence of an 18 minute long ad video, done over 7 years of time should say a lot about the lower barrier of entry to creating ads when done solely with a CG character. Unlike Iam Hungry, literally everything in these ads could be farmed out to animators, without the need to pay a consistent actor for ads, maintain costumes etc.

In fact, McDonalds already had some experience with entirely CG ads in other countries:



My personal feeling is that these ads feel a lot more soulless and less magical than the previously one. There's not as much charm to them, and the fact they're rarely actually related to the product feels super weird to me.

That said, I do applaud the shift towards trying to encourage healthy habits to the kids.

Love him or hate him, Happy is what we have now (or had, there's a few articles claiming McDonald's USA has removed him from his post as mascot of PlayLands and Happy Meals in 2020, but we'll see if we get any new ones post-COVID). That said, he basically murdered everyone else who we've come to love. And murder is a crime.

TIER: These Characters Suck

NEXT:

Enough clowning around
Name: Ronald McDonald
Species: Human (Clown)
Relationship Status: Don't even joke

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Ronald McDonald
Species: Human (Clown)
Relationship Status: Don't even joke



Ronald McDonald is the longest tenured character in McDonald's advertising campaigns. As a result of this, his depiction and interactions with the world varied a lot based on the advertising campaign being used at the time. Ronald is often the centerpiece of the ad campaigns, so his personality and behaviors change perhaps more than almost any other character of McDonald's. Because of this, I'm going to break down Ronald into a few distinct phases based on the overarching themes and goals of the advertising campaigns, and give each variant of those a tier ranking. (Part of this is also to help ensure Ronald gets as deep a dive as he deserves, and also to break up the writing into manageable time chunks for you all).

Today's:
Ronald McDonald in McDonaldLand (1971 - 1980)



Ronald McDonald in McDonaldLand plays the role of a guide of sorts. He's first seen in the original ad, helping guide the children through this fantastical fun land and explaining to the viewers what sorts of magic exist in it.



He's technically not the first character we see (you can see Mayor McCheese and Officer Big Mac before Ronald shows up), but he's the first we're really introduced to up close. He welcomes the kids to join him, and from that point on he's our loveable guide to the world.

Ronald is almost always shown to be jovial and up to helping teach kids things, such as how to enjoy the fresh taste of McDonald's! He helps teach environmentalist (see: don't forget to feed the wastebaskets), and is always there to help dispense justice if other citizens are up to no good (such as Grimace trying to steal shakes).

In the later portions of the original McDonaldLand ad campaigns, when the world becomes a bit more grounded, he's often shown living up to his Clown stereotype. In Bon Voyage, we're treated to quite a few slapstick gags as he and Captain Crook track down a hamburglar who stole a boat wheel:



Honestly, it's pretty funny as an ad campaign, with a lot of good gags and Ronald really living up to be a fun and humorous character. Similarly, he spends almost the entirety of the 1976 Zoo ad playing with and making fun of the zoo animals:




Ronald plays a very important role in the ads of being the most relateable of the characters I've covered so far in the ads. As a clown, we know what to expect, and he's easily able to vocalize and talk without limitations that puppets and mascot outfits sometimes have. Kids love him, and he's often seen interacting with them in a way that they appreciate.


Design-wise he fits in very well. McDonaldsLand has always been very bright and full of various fantastical colors:

And the ronald of this era is no exception.

This 1973 redesign of Ronald shows him in an iconic yellow jumpsuit with red and white stiped sleeves. He has the McDonald's M on his outfit 4 times, ensuring that it's always visible no matter which way he's facing, perfect for the figure head of the franchise. Actually, his design is so successful and iconic it's one of the few that barely changed at all in the initial redesign:

The biggest change? His sleeves are baggy on the end originally, and had a circle around the M on the back.


Ronald is instantly recognizable, and featured in every McDonaldLand ad from this era, it's hard to imagine the campaign without him.

Tier: All-Star

NEXT:
We roll back a bit in time to the 60s for...
Ronald McDonald, the Hamburger Happy Clown

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Ronald McDonald, the Hamburger Happy Clown

Years: 1963-1971
Key Figures: Willard Scott,

Ronald McDonald was originally created in 1963 by a man named Willard Scott, originally for a small set of restaurants in the DC Area. Willard Scott was playing popular children's TV character Bozo the Clown on local TV station WRC-TV. For some reason, kids at this time loved clowns and Bozo was a wildly popular character, having first been introduced to the US in 1949, and lasting at least 10 years or so, with multiple different cities having their own actors portraying him.

(Willard Scott as Bozo the Clown)

[Also if you want to watch a really funny video go to youtube and type in "bozo dubbed over" and there's spaces between each word]


McDonald's was a sponsor of the Bozo the Clown show in Washington DC, and it seemed to work pretty well for them! Eventually, kids wisened up and the Bozo the Clown show of WRC-TV was cancelled, leaving Bozo and McDonald's partnership to be no more. However, Willard's portrayal was so popular that the local McDonald's management, now in need of a new mascot, approached him to ask for some help. Willard relates it in his own words:

At the time, Bozo was the hottest children's show on the air. You could probably have sent Pluto the Dog or Dumbo the Elephant over and it would have been equally as successful. But I was there, and I was Bozo... There was something about the combination of hamburgers and Bozo that was irresistable to kids... That's why when Bozo went off the air a few years later, the local McDonald's people asked me to come up with a new character to take Bozo's place. So, I sat down and created Ronald McDonald.

Click to shrink...

This original Ronald McDonald looked quite a bit different than the one we know and love. He had a paper cup for a nose, and wore a food tray filled with food on his head. A few folks have posted pics of it earlier in this thread, but it's best illustrated here:

In 1963 Ronald made his TV debut, and the very first ever filmed Ronald McDonald ad was born! Willard Scott portrayed Ronald in 3 ads, all of which have actually been hosted on youtube now (by Willard himself!):



Originally, you can tell Ronald was much more of a traditional clown. His antics and humor are more in line with the clowning methodology employed in circuses, and though he was definitely selling children on products and hamburgers, there's still an extremely different feel and budget to these ads. It's important to keep in mind that the Willard Scott ads were only ever aired in the local area, and not nationally.



Willard's portrayal of Ronald was eventually scrapped when corporate decided to take Ronald to become a national mascot. Tragically, corporate denied Willard's contributions until 2000, and he went 30+ years without receiving credit for creating what is arguably the most influential food mascot of all time.

When taken nationally, McDonald's hired a Ringling Brothers clown named Michael "Coco" Polakovs to play Ronald. Coco gave Ronald some of his modern look, and introduced a white face and red hair, along with the yellow suit. Coco played Ronald from 1965-1968, making his first appearance in a Macy's Thanksgiving day parade.

Coco was responsible for 8 ads, and had a very distinct style to his clowning which was eventually scrapped, see if you can notice here:


Again we have more classical clowning comedy here, but notably he's silent. Coco's Ronald was a silent clown, and never spoke. It's actually interesting this was abandoned since McDonald's likes to claim there's only 1 Ronald at a time, and you'd think the absence of a voice would make that easier to maintain. The ad also features Coco's Ringling Brothers partner Duane "Uncle Soapy" Thorpe, playing Mr.Muscle in this ad.





Ronald of this era was pretty popular, and a doll of it is actually part of the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History Collection:

One of the iconic ways to identify this Ronald is the eye makeup.



Overall, the early Ronalds definitely have their place, but feel a bit dated now. They're a lot more traditional clowns than the Ronald most of us know, and while some people like to call Willard's original portrayal nightmarish, it's key to establishing who Ronald is today. That said, early Ronald definitely feels far away from being the cultural juggernaut he is today.

Tier: Would Share a Meal With

Next:
Back to the Future

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Mac and Me Ronald McDonald

Appearance: 1988

Notable figures: Squire Fridell

The year was 1988, and Hollywood had a huge new movie about to premier. ET had made waves in 1982, and alien fever was riding high in the country. RJ Louis was having a high point in his career. He'd just produced Karate Kid and a sequel, and was looking for a new project to take on.

You see, Louis wanted to make a movie that helped kids, and raised awareness. So he worked on Mac and Me, a movie which has been described as "ET for a new generation", or "a blatant ripoff of ET" or "the worst most obvious piece of product placement ever", and starred a wheelchair-bound boy and his alien friend he wants to reunite with his family. Louis also had a lot of experience working with McDonald's, and ties to the Ronald McDonald House charity, and decided to use those connections to make a film that helped fund the RMDH.

So we got Mac and Me. The actual plot of the movie isn't so important here, nor is Mac. Instead what we care about is Ronald.

Ronald was responsible for a lot in this movie to be honest. He was used to help promote it to children even:



Ronald in the film isn't really even a major character, instead he's almost just background dressing in a scene where a child is having a birthday party inside a McDonald's:




The party erupts into a dance number. And Ronald hangs around there, and that's about it. Ronald's big screen debut in movie theaters.


Ronald's inclusion was actually something McDonald's was against originally. They wanted the film to only promote the Ronald McDonald House charity, and not the hamburgers. Louis claims he wanted a scene set in a McDonald's only because, for kids of that age in that era, going to McDonald's was the ultimate treat.


So overall, Ronald's appearance in Mac and Me is a bizarre footnote in an equally bizarre movie, which doesn't really contribute much to his legacy or who he is as a character. In fact, outside of using the actual Ronald actor at the time, this Ronald doesn't behave like the one from the 80s at all.

Tier: These Characters Suck

NEXT:
What WAS Ronald like in the 80s?

 

[CaptainNuevo]

The 80s brought about a change in commercials and ad strategy. The Krofft lawsuit made McDonaldLand as a location get repealed a bit, and with it, a sense of magic sometimes. McDonald's needed something to keep their campaign going, and legally being barred from using the world of HR PufnStuf McDonaldLand, they were forced to move to the real world.

Outside of just moving to the locations, McDonald's also updated the behaviors and mood of some of the ads. While the early McDonaldLand ads of the 70s were primarily driven by the characters interacting with each other, without children around (with a few exceptions, such as Don't Forget To Feed the Wastebaskets, where Ronald interacts with kids). Ronald in the 80s started to get more involved with children and is seen in quite a few ads featuring just him and children. He's less goofy in a lot of them, and more purely sentimental.



A lot of these are placed around the holidays, naturally. But they really do a good job of expanding Ronald's range to being more of a kind patron, rather than just someone who gets into goofy adventures with his friends.

Ronald wasn't only emotional and heartwarming then though, there were also the usual fun ads geared towards kids in the 80s, a lot of which featured dancing:


From a design standpoint, Ronald didn't change a lot in the early 80s.

I can't find a picture of him from the 86 design specification manual, but this photograph is from that era and you can see that despite it being a new actor (Squire) playing Ronald, the costume remained the same. It doesn't even change in the 1992 specification manual:

His character bio in that manual shows an interesting change in opinion though:

That's right. By 1992 McDonald's said that Ronald could NEVER "be used to directly encourage kids to visit McDonald's or try a product". This is a huge difference from the early ads where Ronald is shown frequently inviting children to enjoy a "Triple thick chocolate shake"

The Ronald of the 90s has had his product placement role taken away from him. Instead, Ronald was now shown having fun with his friends, like Bernice (who ate the script), or otherwise exploring the world. These ads tended to be more colorful and hopeful, with lots of fun and jokes in them for kids. Ronald regained his fun loving and kind personality.




While this Ronald seems very similar to the McDonaldLand personality, it's actually a little more open and kind than even that one was. Whereas the 70s Ronald would welcome kids to McDonalds and feed them food, this Ronald seems like he genuinely wants to be a friend with the kids. It's also interesting to compare him to Donald of the era.


Ronald of this era was in a ton of different media. For example, he had an animated series The Wacky Adventures of Ronald McDonald, and was in multiple video games such as:
Donald Land
MC Kids
McDonald's Treasure Land Adventure (playable)
Donald no Magical World (playable)
Mick and Mack in Global Gladiators

Overall, this Ronald is also super-effective in his role. He's kind and welcoming, and fun. Everything a kid (or restaurant trying to appeal to them) could want! This Ronald is another iconic Ronald, and very deserving of his spot in the All-Stars tier.

NEXT:
Ronald trades in his clothes for a NEW LOOK?!

 

[CaptainNuevo]

In 2014, Ronald finally got something his friends had been receiving for years... a new makeover.

His signature outfit was stripped off him, and he got some new threads, and he looked styling:

This new outfit got rid of the traditional yellow jumpsuit and candy-cane leggings/sleeves, in favor of something a bit more... lowkey. Ronald looks like he's styling and ready to go out on the town now, sporting a red blazer, stylish bow-tie, some yellow dress pants, and his signature shoes. In fact, the only thing that really stayed the same here was his makeup, gloves, and shoes.

This redesigned outfit was created by Ann Hould-Ward, a two-time Tony nominee, and one time winner (for Beauty and the Beast).

Of course, it's not always appropriate to wear a formal outfit, so he was given a second less formal one:

Along with a new costume, Brad Lennon became the new Ronald McDonald. Initial announcements claimed Ronald would be featured in ads again (a first since 2003 by some accounts), however as far as I can tell, none of them ever surfaced. Instead, new Ronald was relegated to PR appearances and an Instagram account: https://www.instagram.com/ronaldmcdonald/?utm_source=ig_embed

He doesn't even have his own twitter handle, instead using a hashtag.

He did have a high profile even then, appearing as a Macy's Day Parade float:

And some of the IG pics (which I've rehosted) are admittedly pretty funny. We're shown a Ronald who's a showsman first, and interested in having fun.

Perhaps most interestingly, the Ronald IG posted in 2020 this picture:

What's weird about this is the fact that they used the Mayor McCheese character in this post (and an older design for a good chunk of the other characters). It's interesting to see McDonald's using the retired characters as a throwback in 2020, especially one in a lawsuit.

(Side note: the account you can see commenting on the right doesn't seem like a real McDonald's run account. If you go to the profile it claims to be a "Writer of erotic fiction" and has a pinned story of Ronald labelled "Daddy")


Overall, the Ronald of 2014 is still held back heavily by the pivot away from Children's advertising and abandonment of Ronald in the early 2000s. Instead he's now a mascot, held to high ideals but never really interacting much in the way he used to be. His new outfit is almost a waste, and it's a shame because I think for a modern redesign it works pretty well for a more active and sporty Ronald. This is another case of wasted potential to me, and it sadly looks like potential McDonald's never wants to realize.

Tier: Hall of Horrors

NEXT:
Ronald McDonald's old friend...

Phil A. O Fish!

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Phil A. O. Fish


Phil's origins stem from a franchisee in Monfort Heights, Ohio (near Cincinnati), Lou Groen. Lou opened the McDonald's he ran in 1959, a mere 6 years after McDonald's started operating a franchise model at all. It wasn't the internationally known name it is today at the time, so business was hard. The store originally pulled in ~$300 a month.

This problem was even bigger in March. You see, Monfort Heights was predominately Catholic (87% at the time). This is not great for burger stores. Lou noticed another burger shop in the area had a fish sandwich at the time, and decided to make his own to compete. In 1961 he even took this to Ray Kroc himself to convince him to add it to the menu. Ray was less than enthused.
"You're always coming up here with a bunch of crap!" he told Groen. "I don't want my stores stunk up with the smell of fish."

Oof. Eventually, Ray's proposed burger (a slice of grilled pineapple) competed with the Filet-o-fish for a menu spot, and the fishwich won!

The item really took off, and in 1976 Phil himself appeared selling the fish sandwiches on print ads everywhere!

Some of you may remember that Captain Crook also loved Filet O-Fish, so it's not entirely clear why Phil was created, outside of maybe the possibility of Captain being too kid-focused to appeal to adults.

Phil lasted less than a year, and he never appeared after 1976.

Phil's legacy is entirely in print ads, and doesn't have any appearances on TV as far as I can tell. As a result, he's a much lesser known character, who has no interactions with other characters in McDonaldland.

Tier: These Characters Suck

NEXT:
We revisit a certain feathered companion we touched on previously...

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Before I go on with my review, I have to correct an issue that the bird loving community has pointed out to me quite a bit. That's right, I've heard from plenty of people PMing me asking me to correct an error I made a few entries back, and dammit the people have spoken!

So without further ado, I'm here to correct a wrong:

Name: Matey
Species: Parrot
First Appearance: 1983
Relationship Status: Had his first mate

Matey, atop one of the ad workers (Richard Seidelman)

Matey, if you will recall the The Captain entry, made his debut in 1983. At the time of that entry, I believe I gave off the opinion he was an accessory. A sort of... prop for The Captain, And for that I am sorry. I have seen the light, my path straightened and I am here to tell you why Matey is a distinct entity from The Captain and is not to be tied down to him.


Matey's first appearance was in 1983's "The Golden Treasure", where he made his debut alongside a redesigned The Captain. This appearance was shortly scrapped afterwards, since people didn't like the appearance of The Captain, and they redesigned both characters to fit together with a more soft rounded muppet look:




Matey's facelift was first revealed in the 1984 commercial "Lunch with the Captain". Matey was The Captain's pal, and was actually a pretty key part of the rebrand here to make him more of a fun pirate.






His redesign would have debuted in 1983's Filet-o-fish Story, but that ad was scrapped. A screencap of him on set is here:

Matey was puppeteered by Wayne Kaatz, and his wisecracking jokes were done by him as well.

Matey was often shown with The Captain, but had his own distinct personality and gave a fun little flair he didn't have prior. He also was a distinct puppet, and did move separately from The Captain:

His last appearance was in a 1987 Sears ad, where he appeared along with The Professor and Mayor McCheese for their last ad together.




Overall, Matey is a big part of why The Captain's continued existence seemed to work for me. He really helps nail down the pirate aspect, and helps ground him as a more comedic character than he was originally. I think his personality is pretty fun in general, and he really adds a lot for being as small a bird as he is. He doesn't really have any merchandise or appearances outside of the ads, but he definitely adds some more interest to the scenes he's in.

Tier: Tiers for Fiers

NEXT:
Name: Mac

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Mac
Species: Alien
First (and only, thankfully) Appearance: 1988
Relationship Status: I'm feeling ill thinking about this

Mac is from the movie Mac and Me. I already detailed a lot of the history of the film in the previous entry about Mac and Me Ronald McDonald, so I'm not going to repeat myself. Instead, I'm going to focus on the other portion of this film. Mac.


Mac is an alien. And he only ever showed up in this movie. CosMc already had the place in the gang as the alien of the crew, and he was beloved. Instead, Mac was made so that bootleg ET could live. As a character, Mac is... weird. He's the titular character, and the entire plot of Mac and Me is based on trying to get Mac to reunite with his family.

Mac is somewhat clever, dressing up in suits in the film to help hide from the government, but overall something about his design is weird. It's very off-putting in a way that none of the other McDonald's characters are. He's very alien, and that's good but his design isn't fun, and his animation is mostly very stilted.

Outside of the movie, Mac's probably most well known for being part of a recurring bit between Paul Rudd and Conan O'Brien:




But he's not even the star of the bit. Overall he's pretty forgettable, and the fact of the matter is he's probably the least closely related to McDonald's character I've covered. I'm sure the only reason he even exists is because Ray Kroc had died by this point. If Kroc were alive, he'd never have greenlit mac.

TIER:
Ray Kroc regrets their existence

NEXT:
That Lost Dog Ronald Found once

 

[CaptainNuevo]

The Lost Dog Ronald Found
First Appearance: 1994
Species: Dog


The Lost Dog Ronald Found was a dog who was lost, who was found by Ronald in 1994's "Ronald Finds a Dog" ad. In it, Ronald is out exploring the world when he finds a dog, who is lost. Ronald knows someone is looking for this dog, but he's not sure who, and he can't find where!

So he does what any friendly 1994 Ronald would do: He sets out on a quest to find their owner! He checks everywhere a lost dog owner might place information. He checks the newspaper:

(Full prop here:

)


He checks the streets:

and he finally makes a poster, trying to show the world that he found a dog, who was lost:

Will he find the owner or not?! Well, I'm not going to spoil the fun for you hamburgermaniacs, you'll have to see for yourselves!



Nobody seems to know what the dog's breed or name was. The commercial itself might seem kinda one-off and unimportant, but there's al ot of interesting details and world building we see in it. For starters, this ad was actually filmed in Wilmington, North Carolina. They were looking for cheaper studios to shoot commercials in at the time, and they found a set of studios there they decided to trial out. I'm not sure if they ever stuck with it, but the town and cities you can see in the ad are there!

Secondly, we can see Ronald's house. Because of the new studio trial, they actually build this house in a nearby park. It's kinda fun to see what Ronald's home looks like, and it helps add a lot of extra character to the world:

Third, the Fun Times newspaper was made for this ad. They actually created the entire concept and prop for this ad specifically, meaning without the lost dog ronald found, ronald might never have found the news!

Lastly, the lost dog actually had a standin for the ad! You can see the stunt double here (alongside the real dog, ronald, and the dog trainer):

Overall, the Lost Dog Ronald Found doesn't have the most ads, but he he definitely found a home in McDonaldLand, and did a good job of helping show off some interesting cornerstone pieces of the universe.

Tier: Would Share a Meal With

NEXT:
The Dragon

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: The Dragon
Species: Dragon
First Appearance: 1993

The Dragon is another one of those characters who was useful for filling in the world and playing different roles. He first showed up in 1993's "The Search for Grimace's Lost Voice". Originally, he was designed to be a massive dragon who needed Grimace's voice so he could talk!

The Dragon was shy and wanted a deeper voice than the one he had, causing him to want to steal Grimace's voice. This made his first appearance admittedly a more villainous one than later appearances, a pattern we've noticed with quite a few other "window dressing" type characters. In the end, Ronald and the gang befriend the dragon.



The Dragon was puppeteered by Tony Urbano.

He next showed up in 1995's "Backup System", where he showcased his job:



That's right. The Dragon has a job. He's an oven-heater. This character arc is pretty cool, since it shows how friendly he was to the gang.

The Dragon unfortunately never had more than these 2 ads from what I can find. There are definitely signs he was intended to be a more major character. For instance, in 1993 there was this (unpublished) map made by the Art Director on the campaign, indicating where The Dragon lives:

(also note that Something Terrible is here as well, and referred to as He. This is notable since later Something Terrible became Bernice).

Additionally, he was going to be in 1995's "Under the Kitchen Table", as shown in the following storyboard, but he was cut for time. The Dragon was going to be a Map Salesman.

This scene was ultimately cut for time, and not used.

I'm not entirely sure why the Dragon wasn't used more, he seems like a pretty good character to have around, but there's really not much else with him in it. He didn't receive any in-store placements as far as I can tell, and he came out too late to be featured in most of the games (MDTLA does feature dragons in the cave portion of the first stage, but they're pink and not the right proportions/size). My personal theory is that the large size and requirement to have multiple puppeteers involved made ads based around the dragon harder to pull off.

At any rate, the Dragon is a fun character when he shows up, and really seemed like he would be a bigger part of the world, but was dropped. Sadly, he can only be placed in the... HALL OF HORRORS

NEXT:
Mr.Muscle

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Mr.Muscle
First Appearance: 1967
Marital Status: Unclear

Mr.Muscle was a character used in one of the early pre-McDonaldsLand ads. In it, he's seen helping paint the Golden Arches at a McDonald's restaurant. Ronald happens to be passing by, and wanting to lend a hand, decides he could lend a hand, and lends Mr.Muscle a Hand.



The ad itself is a classic. Ronald in this era was much more Clown than the later incarnations as you can remember, and the ad really plays into it. Ronald and Mr.Muscle have a lot of hilarious slapstick antics going on, and you can really tell how good these 2 are as trained clowns playing into their usual antics.


This ad was actually so popular that some amateur filmmakers and Advertising-Agents-in-training still remake it to this day:

Mr.Muscle, like Ronald in this era, was played by a Ringling Brothers clown, Duane "Uncle Soapy" Thorpe. You can see him alongside CoCo here in this picture.

Mr.Muscle doesn't have any other ad appearances on TV, but he did play a few key roles in the restaurants of the time. I'm not sure if the lack of TV ads is due to budget constraints of hiring 2 Ringling Bros. clowns (though I can't imagine that's too expensive given how cheap CoCo allegedly sold the Ronald makeup rights for), a lack of consumer attachment, or just the fact there's not too many ads in this era.

He did interestingly enough show up in a promotional coloring book in the 1960s:

In it, he allegedly plays an adversarial role to Ronald, as you can assume from this cover. There's allegedly 41 coloring books in this series, which is kinda insane to think about.

Outside of this ad, Mr.Muscle was abandoned by the time McDonaldLand showed up, partially likely due to the fact Ronald became less of a traditional clown. His legacy is pretty light as a result, but I do think this is one of the more fun ads early McDonald's gets.

Tier: Would Share a Meal With

Next:
You! The Kids!

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: You! (The Kids)
First Appearance: The dawn of humanity
Species: Human
Relationship Status: :|


The children are perhaps the most pivotal of characters in McDonaldLand, and they show up in almost every commercial. Whether it's Willard Scott happily abducting convincing a child to enjoy a few burgers at McDonald's, or the original group of kids Ronald McDonald first invites to McDonaldLand, the children really are the core of the ads, perhaps even rivalling Ronald himself for center stage.



The Children play countless roles, and are very rarely if ever the same actors/actresses. Originally, the children were our sort of looking glass in to the world of McDonaldLand itself. Ronald invites the kids to take a trip to McDonaldLand, and in doing so, invites us and our inner children there. We're able to see the world full of wonder and mystery, as the kids do in the ads. And it feels great, life happy and full of wonder, this world really has anything in it!

The kids even learn here, and are reminded of the importance of feeding the wastebaskets. The children of this era are happy consumers of food, who are welcome guests to McDonaldLand.

In the 80s, the children become more... normalized, as did everything. They become more about sentimentality. No longer are they rash consumers, filled with unending hunger for both food and knowledge. Now they're living breathing humans, with emotions and complexity. They suffer heartache and pain, and see Ronald as a confidant needed to help them cope with an exceedingly cruel world.



And help he does! Ronald is able to help show some magic to the children's lives he interacts with, and in doing this really exemplifies how the children are now emotional vessels for us to interact with.

In the 90s the Children once again become more playful, hollow beings less capable of emotion and more... wanting fun? They play their role well, hanging with Ronald and singing songs, exploring his house and enjoying some McDonald's food. And yet it feels... different than before. Now, the children aren't quite as sentient and real feeling as they once were. Now kids are... everywhere. It's a bit overwhelming almost.




Overall, I think there's a lot of interesting things you can draw from the presence of the kids and what they do, as well as the ads in which they don't appear. I don't think the ads would be remembered anywhere near as fondly without the kids, and I think they're to blame for a lot of the long-lasting appeal of the ads, and why they really connected with so many people. They really brought the ads home, and let you feel like you were a part of it.

Tier: All-Star

Next:
Who are "Los Wochos"?

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Los Wochos
Species: Human
First Appearance: Germany, 1995
Marital Status: Casados

Los Wochos are a series of characters, exclusive (as far as I know) to McDonald's of Germany. You see, McDonald's of Germany had a problem. They needed to sell more food. So they came up with an idea, and it was a crazy one. They decided to create a line of specialty burgers for a limited time. This tried and true recipe for success worked countless times at McDonald's throughout history. See: Filet-o-fish, Shamrock Shakes, etc.

So McDonald's of Germany threw a dart at a map of the world and settled on creating a line of food (allegedly) based on...


Mexico. Now, these items weren't really authentically Mexican. Thrillist has lovingly described the menu as: "what a German told by an American on a cruise ship thinks Mexican food might taste like, if both of them had only ever lived in Holland."

Now that the theme was decided, McDonald's needed a way to advertise it. So they threw together a catchy name, and set about creating a character to exemplify it.

Los Wochos was born. McDonald's created a line of... uhh... food, like the above. We have:
El Chile Con Carne - a burger with black beans and corn INSIDE the patty.
Salsa Tomaten Sauce - A spicy Ketchup
Los Beefos - breaded meatballs
Chicken Fiesta - a chicken sandwich with corn.


To truly capture the spirit of Los Wochos and their authentic brand of German-based Mexican food, they decided that the best way to announce it was to make a series of ads of Germans... becoming Los Wochos.


The original ad for the series is here from 1995:


The promotion seemed to keep appearing every so often, and gave us quite a few different ads of different stereotypes characters advertising the food, such as this one from 1996 featuring a guy at a ranch:




The ads kept coming whenever it would return, and while it's not super well documented exactly how frequently this repeated, the appearance in 2013 is particularly noteworthy for causing a bit of a storm. They created this ad to promote it:



and, because it was 2013 and the world was a bit less ok with racial stereotypes at the time, German McDonald's got a lot of flak from the Mexican population living in Germany, claiming it was racist in its depiction. It's not really hard to see the argument here for that, since the imagery involved is heavily based on stereotypes.

Overall, the ads and characters here don't really seem consequential or particularly inspired to me, and it's certainly not enough to be worth offending anyone for them. They lack a certain style or character to them, instead of just... being stereotypes. Surely, we can all agree that Ray Kroc regrets their existence.

Next:
Mr.James

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Mr.James
Species: Human (reset-eran)
First Appearance: 2009
Relationship Status: I-i-i-it's n-n-n-not like he l-l--l-likes you or anything. Baka!


McDonald's Japan had a problem. You see, like McDonald's of Germany years prior, they too had decided to come up with food menu based on another culture! So they too went to the same playbook that had worked so well for Los Wochos, and the dart landed this time on... Japan! What a twist of fate! But luckily, Japan knows a thing or 2 about Japan (allegedly). So they came up with the Nippon All-Stars menu! A line of burgers based around Japanese food, and this time it actually maybe makes sense as a food!

So they had already improved from Los Wochos campaign, now they just needed a mascot. Luckily Mascots are something McDonald's has almost always excelled at! What could possibly go wrong?!

McDonald's Japan decided that the one character who could truly explain what made these burgers so delicious would have to be familiar with both American and Japanese food and culture. So they went on the internet and found this great website called resetera dot com, and hired someone there.

Wait sorry that was a dream I had. No, in reality they created Mr.James, an American who has such fond recollections of a burger he once had in Japan that he's made his entire life's goal be to eat that one more time.




Mr.James struggles to speak Japanese (but he's learning!). He's awkward, white, and really really excited for these burgers!

The restaurants went CRAZY with him. Stickers were placed on tables:

Cardboard cutouts of him holding trays were around:

Not even pedestrians could escape him:

And... that's it. There was a minor row from some of the foreigners living in Japan at the time that this was offensive, but it seems like it was mostly constrained to internet discussion, and never hit the level of notoriety needed to be in the paper (or, I can't find it because the internet makes it hard to find).

Overall though, Mr.James is kinda a fun character in my opinion. He's someone actually interested in the local culture, and while he plays into stereotypes and jokes of the Gaijin trying to fit in, it's not really mean-spirited, and is more of a personality trait than something inherent to him he can't change (unlike Los Wochos). His design is funny, and gets across that he's supposed to be kinda geeky and oblivious very well.

The biggest downside is he never seemed to appear again after this menu. Unlike Los Wochos, I can't find anything suggesting Nippon All-Stars was anything less than a passing limited menu.

Tier: Would Share a Meal With

Next:

Happy Sister

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Happy Sister
First Appearance: 2021 (China)
Species: Cybernetic
Relationship Status: Waifu

Happy Sister is the newest McDonald's mascot, appearing in 2021, in China. She's a replacement for Ronald in China, who for some reason never took off in popularity there. Rather than doing what Japan did and creating a similar-looking character with a distinct personality, China took things a bit further and decided to really create something designed to appeal to the kids of 2021. Enter: Happy Sister.

Happy Sister's name was allegedly chosen in a poll (I believe that's what the picture on the right is). She's a 2D character whose design is based on the whole "Idol" look that's popular these days. As such, she has all the standouts of an idol: A vague schoolgirl vibe, a short skirt, and thigh-high socks. She honestly wouldn't be out of place in any idol based franchise. The only clearly McDonald's thing about her is the Golden Arches on her waistband. It's a very contemporary design, and it matches that aesthetic perfectly. It's interesting that they didn't go with a more red/gold theme to match their company logo though, or incorporate the Golden Arches motif more. (Side fact: Apparently McDonald's is known as Golden Arches there since 2017).

She appears to have a full CG rendering, and for once it's not... terrifying?

(A still from what I assume is an ad, though it's hard to find much on her due to her new-ness).


She also appears heavily in what the English-translation calls a "mini program" (I'm going to write the following assuming it's a translation for App on phones). Happy Sister is the new face of the "Happy Little Members" section of the app, which details information about birthdays and provides information about available toys and the like. She's a friendly companion for children, and her presence allows her to be geared towards children and trying to be friends with them.

The app actually looks like it'll have some fun uses for her, and allow kids to actually interact with her. Her app features a dancing mode:

where I think you dance, and either recreate her moves side-by-side, or maybe she like... copies yours. I can't quite tell.

She also features a story mode where kids can listen to audiobooks about healthy eating and learn about how McDonald's isn't actually as unhealthy as everyone says!

All in all, Happy Sister is an interesting look at the possible McDonald's of the future. Technically, Golden Arches is not owned by McDonald's corporate any more, as they sold the rights to operate McDonald's in China, Hong Kong, and Macau to a Chinese firm. It's hard to say when/if McDonald's of America will adopt similar tech with their characters, but honestly overall it's a pretty bold and inventive direction to take the concept of mascot characters. While it's hard to say how big her impact will be, the future is hers to make or ruin. That said, she represents a possible future where the mascots lack a personality or interaction, and are more of what we define. This could be good, but it's also scary to think about.

Tier:
Hall of Horrors

Next:
We take a special tour to the past...

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Mr.Sun
First Appearance: Since the dawn of mankind
Relationship Status: too Hot To Handle

Mr.Sun, Sun, Mr."Golden" Sun, has been shining down on McDonaldLand ever since it was first created. While normally somewhere just off-screen, Mr.Sun has rarely shown up in the ads as a role itself. In his appearance he's always acted as a shining light on the scene, often literally bringing light to the world.

Mr.Sun is almost always smiling, showing a big grin to the world, showing another sunnier happier impact he brings to his roles.

The first appearance I'm aware of Mr.Sun being on screen was in 1985's "Dreamy Breakfast", where Mr.Sun shows up to wake up Ronald and greet the day.



In it, he's shown rising in the morning to wake Ronald himself up, and start the day! What a trooper (also reminds me a lot of the Raisin Bran sun). By being the first up, Mr.Sun shows how strong of a worker he truly is.

The Sun also appeared in a rare 1987 animated feature "Ronald and the Adventure Machine", where he's shown again greeting Ronald for the day, and asking how he's doing. This feature was shown exclusively at Birthdays held at McDonald's restaurants, and was used as an incentive to have kids host more birthdays there (also I guess Mac and Me helped). Happy birthday, here's the vid:



Mr.Sun's inclusion here is key because it helps set the tone correctly as happy, and also to brighten up the birthday child's day! Mr.Sun takes his role seriously, and even talks in this ad.

It's worth pointing out that in his 2 shown appearances Mr.Sun has both a live action AND animated look, which is pretty impressive given how little screentime he gets (also being voiced is pretty huge).


More recently, Mr.Sun showed up on the McDonaldsAllDayBreakfast giphy account in this gif:

Making him one of the more recent characters to still show up.

Overall, Mr.Sun is a limited character on-screen, but huge in the sky behind the scenes. He gives a lot of life to the ads, and it's hard to see how they might look without him.

Tier: Tiers for Fiers

Next: We visit the French Fry Thatch

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: French Fry Thatch
First Appearance: 1971
Species: French Fry Thatch
Relationship Status: Orally engaged

The French Fry Thatch showed up in the 4th McDonaldLand ad in 1971, which also introduced the Gobblins. In it, we see the French Fry Thatch playing a much different role than the Apple Pie Trees or Hamburger Plants did in McDonaldLand. See if you can tell the major difference as you watch the ad:



That's right. The French Fry Thatch is primarily a FOOD SOURCE. The French Fry Thatch shows up only in the early McDonaldLand ads (back when it still had the fantastical visuals), but is shown as a food source for the Gobblins. It's interesting that it produces McDonald's fries in the wild here, given the need for the cast to visit McDonald's restaurants for a delicious Triple-Thick McDonald's Shake.

The contribution and lore implications here are massive. Is McDonald's in McDonaldLand truly just harvesting the natural environment and selling/giving the food away? Do they have any preparations here? What's the relationship between McDonaldLand and the current world? Do the French Fry Thatch plants use Beef Tallow as well?

We never get answers. The French Fry Thatch holds many mysteries and the answers to burning questions deep within the fries. Perhaps that's how they stay so crispy.

The French Fry Thatch has an important part in the early toys/promotional materials as well. They show up as a piece of background art on some of the original SlapHappy's, a line of stickers:

The French Fry Thatch do a fantastic job of really setting the scenery and magic of the early ads though, just like the other food plants before them.

Tier: Tiers for Fiers

Next:
Let's sing a song with the HAMBURGER CHORUS

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Hamburger Chorus
First Appearance: 1978
Species: Cheese/Ham burgers

The Hamburger/Cheeseburger Chorus is a set of burgers who sing songs together. These burgers are described as "not active; they don't dance or skate or play sports" and "they do pop up when needed... for a song or two". It's worth noting that unlike yesterday's entry, the Hamburger/Cheeseburger chorus is explicitly NOT FOOD.

The ads the chorus are featured in are almost always musical. They first showed up in 1978's "McDonald's Symphony":



Interestingly, the Hamburger Chorus originally shown here seem to be attached to the plants still, making it possible that the early hamburger chorus is an off-shoot of the previously covered hamburger patch.

They show up again in 1984 as a chorus singing songs while Ronald plays a song and they sing to it:


By 1988, McDonald's had a new song to debut and who did they get to help?

THE HAMBURGER CHORUS (now sporting their more modern design sans-plant):



Admittedly their role here is pretty minor, only showing up briefly, but the puppets are cute and fun for the ad nonetheless!

They do have some pretty spiffy accessories though!


Apparently, Australian ads featuring them had a unique puppet with a less... solid cheese, so it tended to droop! I can't find pictures or videos though to back this up.


Overall, the Hamburger Chorus is a fun addition to the ads, and helped provide some key work in setting the right TONE to the musical ads.

Tier:
Would Share a Meal With

NEXT:
Won't you take me to Funky Farm?!

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Ferris
First Appearance: 2012
Species: Farm-dwelling Kid
Relationship Status: ChrisHansen.jpg

In 2012 McDonald's was being hit with new problems they hadn't previously. The world had changed. Health guidelines had changed. The internet made things viral, and people were starting to doubt how healthy McDonald's food really was. No longer could they market food directly to kids without shame, people were calling them out.

They had to adapt. They changed the happy meal. The fries were made smaller, reducing calories by 20%. They could be ordered with apple slices (i.e. pre-pie apples). They made a big deal about it in July 2011, announcing a commitment to health standards. The only problem was selling the changes... to kids.

So, McDonald's turned to long-time advertising partner Leo Burnett for help. Previously, they'd worked with the existing McDonald's characters since 1981, but now were faced with a new constraint: They couldn't use that stable of known and beloved characters. They had to come up with something new, something... different.


Enter Funky Farm. Funky Farm is the setting of their campaign, titled "Champions of Happy", which featured a stable of entirely new characters who helped kids learn about balanced diets and healthy eating through the power of song and dance and rhyme.

With it, we were given... Ferris.



Ferris is the main denizen of Funky Farm, and he doesn't talk. Instead, he mostly interacts in the world while a narrator describes the action. I'm assuming this made internationalization for these ads way easier if they'd chosen to. He hangs out on the farm and has a lot of friends who I can't discuss yet.

Outside of playing with the friends, he's also shown playing some musical instruments:



In terms of design, Ferris is pretty unique. He's mostly dressed as a regular kid, without any recognizable brand imagery or anything of that sort. It's really different feeling from how the characters are normally dressed.

This alone does make him pretty unique, and his animation style is fun and kinda quirky in a good way.

Overall, the ads do seem to lack a bit of magic, maybe partially due to the fact they're weirdly grounded and kinda stifled by the need to blend education into the ads. That said, when going for that kind of message and tonal shift, dropping the existing characters completely for new ones was the right move, and avoids any tonal whiplash we might otherwise have.

Tier: Would Share a Meal With

Next:
Who else lives on Funky Farm?

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Goat
Species: Goat
First Appearance: 2012
Relationship Status: Engaged in eating

The Goat is a denizen of Funky Farm alongside Ferris. Like Ferris, he doesn't talk himself, only having a narrator describe his personality and actions (outside of the end when he goat noise's out a variation of "I'm Lovin' It"). While he first shows up in the original ad shown above, it's not until his own ad that we really see enough of him to make a judgement on who he is:



The Goat loves to eat. This is a stereotype of all goats, but especially this goat. In his first appearance he eats a tire. In this appearance he eats a lot of things, like his mom's chair, his dad's hair, a baseball, and the rules of rhyming (Leo Burnett: rhyming Catastrophe with a made up word disastrophe is a crime).

Eventually, the Goat learns that eating meat and fruits is healthy and he starts to feel better.

That's it. He shows up a bit and dances in other ads, but the whole campaign is pretty limited to a few songs introducing each of them, which are recut and have different post-ad clips of them playing with whatever the promotional toy is. The Goat in particular loves transformers:



And is actually shown turning into a car and driving around. That's pretty crazy!

The other cool thing about the goat is that he eats a happy meal box, which is entirely possible is an early version of Happy, given the year. This would make him one of the few mascots to actually murder another one.


Overall, the Goat is kinda crazy, he eats a ton of non-food items and while he ultimately teaches us what it means to eat healthy and feel good, some of the stuff he does on the way is horrific.

Tier: Hall of Horrors

Next:
Another day, another Funk Farm resident

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Strong Ant
First Appearance: 2012
Relationship Status: Only fit for a queen

Strong Ant is an ant who lives on Funky Farm. Unlike the Goat, he doesn't need advice on how to eat healthily, as he already eats well and is a strong ant as a result.

His character is introduced in an ad called Strong Ant where his backstory is explained:

Honestly I guess he just like... eats fruits or something, so he's swole AF. He does seem to skip leg day though which is weird to try to encourage kids to do, but I guess "Big Arma" is always pushing their weight around.

He also has a penchant for being a bully, being one of the most physically intimidating and dominating characters we've seen. He was able to arm-wrestle an octopus and win 8 times straight. It's insane:



Overall, his design is ok, it shows off his muscles well, and gets across that he's strong. He's not very... ant like though, and he's kinda limited since his physical prowess isn't really put into much use.

Tier: Hall of Horrors

Next: More Funky Farm :|

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Dina
Species: Dinosaur
First Appearance: 2012

Dina is another resident of the Funky Farm. Like Strong Ant and Goat, she's an animal. But she's a dinosaur.



Dina's big thing is that she can grow really big. I guess like kids who eat healthy meals from McDonald's can? Dina doesn't have any other ads I could find (though Funky Farm ads are again, much less well documented). Of all the songs, hers feels the most unique to me though, which is nice.

As far as designs go, her design is alright? She's a dinosaur, and has a very very long neck. Her design is good, and honestly the most... fun of the non-Ferris characters. Her ad is actually the most magical feeling to me, and feels a lot less grounded in reality than the other ads in the Funky Farm line. Overall, she's probably my favorite non-human character from it, and her appearance gives her a much more unique feeling.

Tier: Would Share a Meal With

Next:
1 Last Funky Farm character to wrap up the farm. We're almost through this nightmare, please just hold out!

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Didi
Species: Dodo Bird
First Appearance: 2012
Relationship Status: Practically Extinct

Didi the Dodo bird is our last Funky Farm resident (for now!). She's a dodo bird, who needs the energy of McDonald's food so she can fly quickly and high in the sky! Please ignore the dodo birds can't fly.

Didi has her own ad like all the other Funky Farm characters, and it's kinda sad. For some reason, it's not easy to find it on youtube, but you can find a copy here.

Didi's design and the cartoony atmosphere make her a pretty fun bird character, and probably the best female bird character McDonald's has ever made.

Honestly, the way she makes silly faces and has a lot of slapstick humor to her makes her the most fun and character-filled character in the campaign, and we really see how clumsy and goofy she is.

Like the other characters, her biggest detraction is just how little she's used. She has 1 ad and some slapstick stuff in other ads. But her actual design and role are fun and pretty unique.

Tier: Tiers for Fiers

(More like tiers for fliers mirite)

Next:
We learn how much hard work goes into building the happy meals...

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Happy Meal Workshop Workers
Species: Machines
First Appearance: 1994

The Happy Meal Workshop Workers are responsible for creating the magic that goes into a delicious McDonald's Happy Meal. While much of this has historically been behind the scenes, in 1994's "Happy Meal Workshop" we finally got a glimpse inside.



In this ad, we're shown Ronald and Katy working together in the Happy Meal Workshop. We see a lot of the inner-workings here as the meals are made. Notably a giant hamburger opens, a hand pops out, and helps prepare the burgers. The workshop also features a stop sign, who pops out and yells STOP! mandating the workers take lunch breaks. This is clearly a utopia of a factory, in a better society and world than the one we live in.

The Happy Meal Workshop was also shown in the 1995 "Boxed Lunch" ad.



In this ad, Ronald, a child, and beloved character Bernice(!!!!) take a tour of the Happy Meal Workshop. We're shown how Ronald prepares happy meals by throwing the contents inside the bag, and the kid and Bernice love it. Bernice can't even wait and scarfs down the ENTIRE BOX. Amazing.

We're shown shots of some of the machinery involved in the workshop, including a particular machine with some eyes:

While we're never given a name, speaking lines, or shown anything else about this machine, we can infer it's pretty important based on its location near the HMW sign.

It's pretty unique to see cooking equipment, or the cooking process involved in advertisements for children though, so it's pretty cool to see them this way. That said, I'm not sure how I feel about living things potentially preparing the food inside of them. The prospect of it is pretty weird.

The design of the Happy Meal Workshop only shows up here AFAIK, but it's a fun design that manages to evoke a really magical place. Seeing the location the food is prepared in-lore is always exciting, and really ties it back to the food itself.

Overall, while we're shown very little of the workshop in ads, the impact in the world itself is massive. Almost none of these ads would have existed without the workshop producing Happy Meals, and it's huge.

Tier: Tiers for Fiers

Next:
Ever wonder how our friends across the pond prepare Happy Meals?

 

[CaptainNuevo]

Name: Ye Olde Happy Meale Workers
First Appearance: 2019
Relationship Status: I'm sure there's a mix of single and married folks in it, as well as people of all orientations. There's a lot, and they're just kinda people you know?

Ye Olde Happy Meale Workers (as I have affectionately dubbed them) are the UK equivalent of the Happy Meal Workshop. While the US and our industrial revolution led to a more mechanical and magical based facility for creating Happy Meals, the UK needed a more relatable and human way to help create them. Part of this may have been due to the increased pressure and focus on healthy eating (partially with McLibel being a European case), but part may have just been that the UK cares about people more than cold efficiency.



The UK showcased how their happy meals were made by hundreds of small plastic farmers and workers, who toiled endlessly to manage the creation of food and report on the quality and health levels of the food. It's an interesting contrast to the American ads covered above, in that the concepts here are primarily targeting health-conscious adults, not children who want a magical escape.

Even outside the tone, the workers here have a much stronger sense of character than any of the ones inside the American Happy Meal Workshop did, though it's debatable how likeable they are. The main worker here rattles on endlessly about statistics and benefits of a happy meal while checking marks on his clipboard, and we're left a bit bored by it.

There's no sense of magic to the world like the American one has, and that's ok in 2019. The magic has long since left the ads, and instead we get a more grounded sense of magic, with tiny men and cars toiling away for our pleasure. A microcosm of the true global supply chain that exists in our level.

It's inspired in a lot of ways really. It conjures a sense of wonder that's not so far from reality that adults can't imagine it. It's safe, reminiscent of the movies and plot lines the current generation of parents watched as children, and it has an almost nostalgic feeling to it as we recall Woody and the gang from Toy Story in the ads.

Honestly, outside of the tonality and feel of the spoken dialogue being dull and down to earth, this style of ad could have had a long campaign associated with them, but instead it's a one-off UK only ad, that doesn't expand much else. What we get is amazing. What we get is fun. What we get is not enough.

Tier: Tiers for Fiers

Next:
Crystal Puppets