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Realizing how life is as a young adult is fucking depressing.
- Thread starter Bman94
- Start date
At least you sound like a functioning person with the ability to work in their own self-interest. I had a golden opportunity to get a BS without spending a cent of my own money. But, that was too easy for me I guess because my diseased brain decided to throw it away, apropos of nothing. Not because I was going to parties or hanging out with friends - I didn't have any of that. I just couldn't be bothered to even try, academically or otherwise. Unlike most struggling young adults, I actually deserve it. I'm a leech and a burden, with plenty of reason to hate myself.
It doesn't matter though. I'm sorry for venting at you and I hope you find a good job soon.
Bold and incorrect assumptions. But I appreciate the gesture.
I think you are valuable :)
Your outlook on the hand you were dealt is really unhealthy. You couldn't be bothered, or you weren't tasked with something you actually cared about? You're a miserable failure, or you're just not interested in living life based on a predetermined path set out by society? Your post is full of self judgement, a usually pointless and honestly wasteful pasttime.
There might be mental health problems involved here that I'm not privy to. But if I'm going just off the text you just posted... Come on brother/sis.
Two of the best posts in this thread so far! My life isn't exactly where I want it to be at, but I'm quite hopeful for my future. Of course, I'm aware that in order to have a better future - there's a lot of work on self-improvement, dedication & persistence I have to do to create the path I want. Sometimes I think about how this decade is about to come to an end & question why I've accomplished so little so far - but I try not to beat myself up about it & know that I'm taking the right steps now to make the next decade of my life the best.
Living with other people is generally a good thing. For a few years at least.
Also remember: the master has failed a million times more than the beginner has ever tried.
In order to get anywhere meaningful in life, you need to fail some. Failure is good.
Also remember: the master has failed a million times more than the beginner has ever tried.
In order to get anywhere meaningful in life, you need to fail some. Failure is good.
I was raised in mostly poor circumstances by a single mother, so getting some control of my life combined with
a full ride scholarship (Thanks Florida Lotto players!) meant my young adult life was a huge improvement and it's been pretty
great up until my mid 30s so far.
I actually look back on my childhood as some of the lowest points in my life, unlike a lot of people.
a full ride scholarship (Thanks Florida Lotto players!) meant my young adult life was a huge improvement and it's been pretty
great up until my mid 30s so far.
I actually look back on my childhood as some of the lowest points in my life, unlike a lot of people.
Unless you hang out with friends who are all of a higher class/financial standing than you, they're doing those things under the same financial constraints as you.
You can start a business if you want to.
I don't think you want to hear that you're important or that you have value because you don't feel you have anything to show for it in your life. That's a perfectly rational assessment. But you also clearly recognise that you have the potential to be more important than you are and have more value than you do. You can identify the mistakes you made in the past and can articulate that to others. You don't struggle to logic stuff out, and you can explain things well. These are assets and talents. What you choose to do with them is up to you of course, but continuing to hate yourself is pointless. Instead you can try to drive yourself by being motivated to hate yourself less in future. I hope you find that helpful in some way.
Having to live with flatmates is not great but it's not too bad either and you get used to it, especially if they're at least moderately clean and considerate.
Every college commencement speech should just be "the real Dark Souls starts here."
Seriously, though, that post about this being more about expectations is true. Reorient yourself and you'll enjoy life a lot more. Stay off this site, too. Maybe move out of Florida.
Seriously, though, that post about this being more about expectations is true. Reorient yourself and you'll enjoy life a lot more. Stay off this site, too. Maybe move out of Florida.
Partially why I haven't moved on yet. Where my parents are right now I can't get a job for shit as it's a laughable small town. I know I'm probably just making it harder on myself since I'm in my mid twenties already and with no career. It Is indeed is depressing. I know I need to push myself to move on.
Living somewhere expensive as fuck does not seem worth the trouble when it comes to getting adequate housing. Does negate the amenities and culture that you might be able to partake in
If you were born somewhere like that and are stuck it must be tough
If you were born somewhere like that and are stuck it must be tough
Ah, I see OP has hit "the wall" as I call it.
When academia ends and you're spat out into the real world, and you're quickly made aware that all the fun shit you did is now gone, and it's just the laborious grind of 8 - 5 every day, being too tired on an evening to do anything, and catching up with sleep on weekends. Repeat for 50 years until death.
It hits us all pretty hard. Just gotta focus on media releases, the things you enjoy, and if you're so inclined, a relationship.
I also question why people have kids when this is all there is to life. It's bullshit.
Preach
When academia ends and you're spat out into the real world, and you're quickly made aware that all the fun shit you did is now gone, and it's just the laborious grind of 8 - 5 every day, being too tired on an evening to do anything, and catching up with sleep on weekends. Repeat for 50 years until death.
It hits us all pretty hard. Just gotta focus on media releases, the things you enjoy, and if you're so inclined, a relationship.
I also question why people have kids when this is all there is to life. It's bullshit.
Preach
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Friendly piece of advice OP: stop listening to or reading the news and stay off Era for a bit, I swear your life will improve significantly. No sarcasm.
My 20s were awful, but my 30s have been amazing. The only thing that changed in between the two decades was that I adjusted to what the world was actually like, rather than trying to make it fit me. Maybe this is typically middle-aged talk (I'm 37 now) but I want to go back in time and slap my younger self. Maybe if you read this you'll want to slap me too, but hopefully you'll see my life as a reasonable case study in how things can get hard, then better, then harder, then great - if you work at it.
To give that a bit more detail: I left university without a degree, after my second year. I was studying Literature, and I decided I didn't want to be an English professor. I also thought that I could be a successful writer whether I finished my degree or not. On reflection, this was a patently terrible choice; had I just toughed out another twelve months, I'd have had a qualification to show for my efforts, rather than nothing.
I lucked onto an opportunity after that, but it was one that required a LOT of effort on my part. I got into an internship for a media production company (they produced TV ads and also museum / heritage audiovisual stuff) that was unpaid, but had the potential for payment eventually. I was living alone in Manchester, UK, which is a pretty sizeable city, and although my rent wasn't horrendous, my bills etc. were significant for a dropout. So I rented out my spare room to a series of friends so I could cover the bills, and I worked two full days every weekend (and some evenings) as an assistant manager at a coffee chain. I was working about ten hours a day, unpaid, at the film company Monday to Friday, then ten hours Saturday and Sunday at the coffee shop. I didn't do much else.
That might sound like one of those "we used to have to walk uphill both ways" stories, but I'm putting it here as an example of the kind of rubbish you might have to wade through until things get better. That was a tough time.
And things did get better - for a while. The film company gave me a research / writing job after a year of making a nuisance of myself, and while it didn't pay a lot (about £19k, I think) it did cover all my expenses. I kept the coffee shop job for a while, and managed to save up some more money through that and the room rent I was getting from my friend. After a year or so, I was living on my own again (the last friend in the series had moved out) and still coming out on top, money wise, every month.
Then the media job started getting worse. The company was being squeezed, financially, and the directors had already remortgaged their houses to keep it afloat. A lot of the more senior people were also being made freelance contractors, and having their hours reduced. They kept me on, but my duties spiralled out of control while my pay stayed static; I was sleeping in the office some nights, and I had to give up the coffee shop job because I couldn't make the hours they needed.
After about nine months of that, I explained to the owners that I needed a raise or I needed to find something else. They couldn't muster the raise, so I left.
So there I am, aged maybe 24. I've lost two jobs, I'm back to paying for a city apartment all by myself, and nobody in the field I'm now experienced in is hiring anyone junior - whether they're fresh out of university, or they have experience. Things were looking pretty grim, and I considered moving out of the city and back in with my mum.
Instead, I signed up with a temp agency and started doing generic office work - as much as I could get. My brother had also just finished university in another city, so he relocated to come and live with me and we shared bills. Eventually, one of my temp positions turned into a full-time offer, working for local government in civil contingencies. I spent two years there, and over that time they recognised my writing skills and moved me over to assist a secret judicial commission on research and report writing. Afterwards, my brother was doing temp work for another government agency, and he suggested they hire me to work with a panel of different judges, which I did.
Now, this was a public sector job, which meant reasonable pay and very good hours. People worked 9-5 religiously, and overtime was never expected. I always managed to get my work done during the days, but I also found myself with a lot of what I considered 'free time' afterwards, because I was accustomed to working evenings and weekends from my previous jobs. So I started writing freelance for magazines. I ended up building a healthy side gig, specialising in consumer technology and celebrity interviews, and I eventually saved up enough to move out of the city and into a suburb with my then-girlfriend, now wife.
Things snowballed from there. I was given my own men's advice / lifestyle column, and I met a lot of luxury and technology businesses (the area I'd moved to was full of well-off businesspeople and affluent consumers) who would regularly ask me to write for them. My wife's father also wanted to send writing and research / analysis work my way. So after maybe two years (I'm now about 29) I quit the daytime job and set up my own business. I worked from the kitchen table for about three years, then we moved to the other side of the city and into a bigger house, where I have my own office.
That's a long-ass post, but here's the kicker: I went from earning basically nothing out of university, working for free, to earning about £65k (roughly $81k USD) today. Am I rich? No. Do I make enough to support my wife, who stays home with the kids full-time, and also to put some money aside? Yes. And while I took a really circuitous route to get where I am today, I can honestly say that a lot of the progress just came from experience and age. I was lucky a few times, but not extraordinarily so, I don't think. I just got older, practiced a trade whenever I could, and things improved.
I'm sure you can do the same - even if there'll be stages along the way where you feel like things will never get any better.
To give that a bit more detail: I left university without a degree, after my second year. I was studying Literature, and I decided I didn't want to be an English professor. I also thought that I could be a successful writer whether I finished my degree or not. On reflection, this was a patently terrible choice; had I just toughed out another twelve months, I'd have had a qualification to show for my efforts, rather than nothing.
I lucked onto an opportunity after that, but it was one that required a LOT of effort on my part. I got into an internship for a media production company (they produced TV ads and also museum / heritage audiovisual stuff) that was unpaid, but had the potential for payment eventually. I was living alone in Manchester, UK, which is a pretty sizeable city, and although my rent wasn't horrendous, my bills etc. were significant for a dropout. So I rented out my spare room to a series of friends so I could cover the bills, and I worked two full days every weekend (and some evenings) as an assistant manager at a coffee chain. I was working about ten hours a day, unpaid, at the film company Monday to Friday, then ten hours Saturday and Sunday at the coffee shop. I didn't do much else.
That might sound like one of those "we used to have to walk uphill both ways" stories, but I'm putting it here as an example of the kind of rubbish you might have to wade through until things get better. That was a tough time.
And things did get better - for a while. The film company gave me a research / writing job after a year of making a nuisance of myself, and while it didn't pay a lot (about £19k, I think) it did cover all my expenses. I kept the coffee shop job for a while, and managed to save up some more money through that and the room rent I was getting from my friend. After a year or so, I was living on my own again (the last friend in the series had moved out) and still coming out on top, money wise, every month.
Then the media job started getting worse. The company was being squeezed, financially, and the directors had already remortgaged their houses to keep it afloat. A lot of the more senior people were also being made freelance contractors, and having their hours reduced. They kept me on, but my duties spiralled out of control while my pay stayed static; I was sleeping in the office some nights, and I had to give up the coffee shop job because I couldn't make the hours they needed.
After about nine months of that, I explained to the owners that I needed a raise or I needed to find something else. They couldn't muster the raise, so I left.
So there I am, aged maybe 24. I've lost two jobs, I'm back to paying for a city apartment all by myself, and nobody in the field I'm now experienced in is hiring anyone junior - whether they're fresh out of university, or they have experience. Things were looking pretty grim, and I considered moving out of the city and back in with my mum.
Instead, I signed up with a temp agency and started doing generic office work - as much as I could get. My brother had also just finished university in another city, so he relocated to come and live with me and we shared bills. Eventually, one of my temp positions turned into a full-time offer, working for local government in civil contingencies. I spent two years there, and over that time they recognised my writing skills and moved me over to assist a secret judicial commission on research and report writing. Afterwards, my brother was doing temp work for another government agency, and he suggested they hire me to work with a panel of different judges, which I did.
Now, this was a public sector job, which meant reasonable pay and very good hours. People worked 9-5 religiously, and overtime was never expected. I always managed to get my work done during the days, but I also found myself with a lot of what I considered 'free time' afterwards, because I was accustomed to working evenings and weekends from my previous jobs. So I started writing freelance for magazines. I ended up building a healthy side gig, specialising in consumer technology and celebrity interviews, and I eventually saved up enough to move out of the city and into a suburb with my then-girlfriend, now wife.
Things snowballed from there. I was given my own men's advice / lifestyle column, and I met a lot of luxury and technology businesses (the area I'd moved to was full of well-off businesspeople and affluent consumers) who would regularly ask me to write for them. My wife's father also wanted to send writing and research / analysis work my way. So after maybe two years (I'm now about 29) I quit the daytime job and set up my own business. I worked from the kitchen table for about three years, then we moved to the other side of the city and into a bigger house, where I have my own office.
That's a long-ass post, but here's the kicker: I went from earning basically nothing out of university, working for free, to earning about £65k (roughly $81k USD) today. Am I rich? No. Do I make enough to support my wife, who stays home with the kids full-time, and also to put some money aside? Yes. And while I took a really circuitous route to get where I am today, I can honestly say that a lot of the progress just came from experience and age. I was lucky a few times, but not extraordinarily so, I don't think. I just got older, practiced a trade whenever I could, and things improved.
I'm sure you can do the same - even if there'll be stages along the way where you feel like things will never get any better.
I have a severe medical condition that made my life up through my teens quite challenging. I spent a lot of my childhood and adolescence in survival mode. When I was on an upswing I was always worried about the next calamity. I spent many months of school teaching myself the material from home while recovering. I graduated from college a while ago now and while I too face many of the same existential crises and worry about my future and how to lead a fulfilling existence, I am also extremely grateful for my life. I fought hard for it, and I am grateful for the opportunities I have now.
Life is a gift. I hope that you can appreciate that life is not some whirlpool leading inevitably towards a miserable existence. Life certainly isn't fair, but you define the nature of your existence more than you think, and so long as you breathe, you can work towards a better future. And if you can't work towards it, look for it. And if you can't look for it, imagine it. And if you can't even imagine it, then you better damn dream about it until you find your motivation. The world doesn't pay its debts: if you are owed a good life, then make your life good.
Life is a gift. I hope that you can appreciate that life is not some whirlpool leading inevitably towards a miserable existence. Life certainly isn't fair, but you define the nature of your existence more than you think, and so long as you breathe, you can work towards a better future. And if you can't work towards it, look for it. And if you can't look for it, imagine it. And if you can't even imagine it, then you better damn dream about it until you find your motivation. The world doesn't pay its debts: if you are owed a good life, then make your life good.
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I'm just in the place in my life where a lot of my friends are getting married and I'm nowhere near ready, and the social pressure to be in that place gets a bit daunting.
Moving out of home and meeting new people to live with and experience independence and a new social life.
Catching up with old friends and hearing about what's going on in their lives and reminiscing.
Finally finishing college and no longer having to sit stupid standardised tests and write 10000's of words and getting to actually start your career.
Excelling at your chosen job and seeing areas that you're really good at but also areas you're excited to improve. Meeting other people in your career to teach/learn off and banter with.
Boning hot people whenever you want.
It's all perspective dude... I think you're just depressed and should probably see a psychologist to help work through your apathy, because if there's one thing I know, apathy is a self fulfilling prophecy.
Your 20s can be the hardest part of your life. Have you made the right career choice? Is this where you want to be? You're starting from scratch and have no money.
At some point, you just have to deal with that and roll with it. Try your best to make something happen. You don't know what the future holds. Sometimes, and more often than not, something will click and you go from there.
At some point, you just have to deal with that and roll with it. Try your best to make something happen. You don't know what the future holds. Sometimes, and more often than not, something will click and you go from there.
I mean, I decided not to take a free ride scholarship and went to a school that got me tens of grands in debt. Much like you I casually dismissed it out of hand. In much the same way I don't believe that means I deserve my debt, I don't believe those actions make you a leech or a burden. You and I both were teens when we were handed that decision and we didn't have the experience we do now. Knowing then what I know now? I'd make different choices. Hell, the fact that you're wishing me well and apologizing when you've done nothing wrong tells me you have a desire to be good to others, and that's something a lot of people genuinely lack. Don't write it off, or write yourself off either. The world needs more people that care.
Only thing I'd recommend here is trying to live with other people, even if you don't initially know them very well it can be a fun adventure and you'll make some new friends (and they'll be in the same boat too). Even if you end up with some strange roommates, t's a damn sight better than languishing at your parents house
This US Centric Board is so depressing. I'm glad not to have lived through this phase in the US,
If you life sucks then do something about it, or try to appreciate what you have more. At the minimum don't bring other people into your doom and gloom when they are in need of an helping hand. We all have deceptions and suffering in our lives, it is not helping when we make everything about ourselves.
I know a lot of people here are saying "that's life" and "get accustomed to it."
But FUCK those people. That is the worst sort of thing to say to the op and about life in general.
You're here on this earth for a very short time. Do something important with it. If you think your existence is meaningless, then you're not thinking deeply about what it means to be alive.
We're all going to die someday. Everyone's days are numbered. So make them all count because they're not infinite.
That doesn't mean that you need to go on a bender and meet tons of new people and party like you're having a quarter life crisis and follow some irresponsible "passion" as a career that can't pay the bills. But it does mean that, OP, you are 100% responsible for everything that you do. No one else is to blame for your unhappiness. So take some responsibility here, make yourself happy by living a life you actually want, whatever that is. And if you feel unfulfilled then you should be sitting down and actively doing something to change that. Make a plan. Figure it out.
As someone who was in your shoes, OP, I assure you, if you put in the work it will get better. If you respect yourself and act accordingly, you will eventually gravitate towards other people who share your values and discard those who don't through the natural course of life. And through self respect comes fulfillment and understanding.
Don't let anyone tell you this is all your life can be. No one gets to make that choice but you.
But FUCK those people. That is the worst sort of thing to say to the op and about life in general.
You're here on this earth for a very short time. Do something important with it. If you think your existence is meaningless, then you're not thinking deeply about what it means to be alive.
We're all going to die someday. Everyone's days are numbered. So make them all count because they're not infinite.
That doesn't mean that you need to go on a bender and meet tons of new people and party like you're having a quarter life crisis and follow some irresponsible "passion" as a career that can't pay the bills. But it does mean that, OP, you are 100% responsible for everything that you do. No one else is to blame for your unhappiness. So take some responsibility here, make yourself happy by living a life you actually want, whatever that is. And if you feel unfulfilled then you should be sitting down and actively doing something to change that. Make a plan. Figure it out.
As someone who was in your shoes, OP, I assure you, if you put in the work it will get better. If you respect yourself and act accordingly, you will eventually gravitate towards other people who share your values and discard those who don't through the natural course of life. And through self respect comes fulfillment and understanding.
Don't let anyone tell you this is all your life can be. No one gets to make that choice but you.
I felt similarly at that time in my life too, and now I look back on that time as the most liberating time in my life, but I just couldn't experience it at the time. The first 6 months after college were the most depressed I've been, probably, in my entire life. I didn't have any of my shit together. I had a job but it was shitttt pay. I felt like I wasn't keeping up with some of my friends who were going to prestigious grad schools or getting solid jobs or moving to major cities, etc. THis was kinda pre-big time social media too, so the imposter affect wasn't as strong as it was for people today. On top of that, had a major 4+ year relationship end on her terms which broke me down, felt super depressed, was getting fat, things seemed really shitty.
But, now, I look back on that and realized how liberating a lot of that was. I lived at home, but who the fuck cares, what's wrong with lviing at home for a lot less than living on your own -- nothing. Plus, family is important and as annoying as family is there are benefits to being close to those people (obv other people's situations differ). Without hard social committments (wife, children) I could get home from work at 5 and play videogames until 2am ... Or go out to the bar on a Tuesday ... or go to the beach for a weekend and try to afford to stay afloat and nobody thought twice about it. Of course IW as fucking broke and that was looming over me the most, but I also had almost no financial responsibilities. SHitty car, student loans, rent, that was it. But it's tough to feel that way in the moment, impossible to. If I lost my job then in 2005, 2006, it would have been personally catostrophic for me ... I would have renegged on my loans, when I did move out I would have missed rent and had credit card debt, but... I was the only person I was caring for. Now, if that happened to me, at least two other people would be similarly financially ruined, one little human who isn't capable of taking care of herself. The stakes have always felt the same, but the stakes are much higher now. There's a liberation to that, but it was impossible to feel it at the time and it's something you can only feel in retrospect.
I think now things are even more complicated for young people because there's the constant drum beat of negativity... constantly berating you about how much life is horrible and the world is horrible and nothing is good. I think there's too many people making too much money on making people feel horrible all the time, and while that existed in 2005 for me, it's inescapable now because of technology and connectivity. It's impossible for most young people to disconnect today, and so you're constantly, incessantly, being told how shitty everything is in your world and life and if you ever have a moment of private happiness, you're constantly being forced to feel bad about that... like it's not okay to experience any joy. And I think that's hard. It existed when I was 22 ~15ish years ago, but it seems worse today. Maybe I'm wrong and it's always been that way, though.
But, now, I look back on that and realized how liberating a lot of that was. I lived at home, but who the fuck cares, what's wrong with lviing at home for a lot less than living on your own -- nothing. Plus, family is important and as annoying as family is there are benefits to being close to those people (obv other people's situations differ). Without hard social committments (wife, children) I could get home from work at 5 and play videogames until 2am ... Or go out to the bar on a Tuesday ... or go to the beach for a weekend and try to afford to stay afloat and nobody thought twice about it. Of course IW as fucking broke and that was looming over me the most, but I also had almost no financial responsibilities. SHitty car, student loans, rent, that was it. But it's tough to feel that way in the moment, impossible to. If I lost my job then in 2005, 2006, it would have been personally catostrophic for me ... I would have renegged on my loans, when I did move out I would have missed rent and had credit card debt, but... I was the only person I was caring for. Now, if that happened to me, at least two other people would be similarly financially ruined, one little human who isn't capable of taking care of herself. The stakes have always felt the same, but the stakes are much higher now. There's a liberation to that, but it was impossible to feel it at the time and it's something you can only feel in retrospect.
I think now things are even more complicated for young people because there's the constant drum beat of negativity... constantly berating you about how much life is horrible and the world is horrible and nothing is good. I think there's too many people making too much money on making people feel horrible all the time, and while that existed in 2005 for me, it's inescapable now because of technology and connectivity. It's impossible for most young people to disconnect today, and so you're constantly, incessantly, being told how shitty everything is in your world and life and if you ever have a moment of private happiness, you're constantly being forced to feel bad about that... like it's not okay to experience any joy. And I think that's hard. It existed when I was 22 ~15ish years ago, but it seems worse today. Maybe I'm wrong and it's always been that way, though.
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We all have our own trajectory in life. I started uni when I was 25 and made friends for life there, there's no need to compare yourself to the people you used to go to school with. You won't care soon enough once uni changes your life. You'll probably meet even older students there.
Follow them. An advantage of adulthood is you can do whatever the fuck you want.
As for the money aspect: don't buy needless stuff; try to repair first, then think if you REALLY need it or is nice to have? Another advantage of having few material things is can always travel light: Cancel your rental contract, pack your three boxes, put them into your car and move to somewhere else, where ever you want to be and find another job.
Also reading less news helps. It might seems ignorant at first... so be it. If you get dragged down by this shit, ignore it. Stay healthy by a short, but daily workout: first thing you do in the morning after getting up from bed is 30 push-ups (or less, depends on your fitness), last thing you do before going to bed is 30 push-ups, and throw in another couple of push-up and other bodyweight lifting exercises over the day. Go jogging once or twice a week, but regularly. Reserve unhealthy food and lots of sugar for special occasions or one day per week only (like every Friday); maybe start with two days only, when you now eat unhealthy every day. Enjoy nature, enjoy a good book, a poem, a good video game, a good film or TV show and socialise with people around you. That way you stay mentally healthy. Also: it's never about quantity, it's about quality (friends, activities, etc.)
I started University with 25 and it's awesome. Lots of my friends have their own houses by now, a child, the second one there or on its way. So what? In return I have no responsibilities and can do things my friends can only dream of... their "youth" is kind of "over"... no spontaneously backpacking tour to Thailand, no spontaneous hiking tour for a week through your own country; everything has to be planned and managed because: children first.
Enjoy your time, man!
While I appreciate your optimism, I am just being a staunch realist. I think it's more disingenuous to blow smoke up OP's ass and tell them everything's going to get better when there is a very real possibility that it won't. I'd argue this repetition of mantras such as "it's going to get better" and "you can be whatever you want to be" is the reason many people end up in this depressive slump in their 20's to begin with. Everyone has bought into the illusion that if they stay the course and follow their path, they are guarantee'd happiness and the career they always dreamed. Unfortunately, we can't all live the life we want to, there has to be people working the bad jobs. Telling OP it's going to be fine with no basis to back it up is simply setting them up to be even more hurt if it does, like many have experienced, get worse.
If only life were as simple as not liking something and changing it tomorrow. If only I could walk out of my job today and get my dream job tomorrow with just a little bit of planning. I'd love to live in this wondrous world, but we don't. Bills still need paying and personal issues still rage. I wish OP all the best with finding their own happiness, just know that it's not a given.
Ok I think I got you wrong the first time. I agree with what you are saying here, but I think it's important not to get into absolutes about what will happen in the future, especially for another person. With the right attitude and a bit of luck, great things can happen.
What's wrong with living with other people? You're doing that now except they tell you what to do
The real reality check I had coming out of college was that now you just have every work every day, every season, every year, for the next 4+ decades. It's obvious but at the same time quite a thing to get your head around after spending the first 20 years of your life accustomed to taking consequence-free breaks of weeks and months in between school.
Some moron I work with was having a discussion with me about wages. He was arguing that its fine that we, as the youth of today, can't earn enough through an ordinary job to look into buying a house because "we just have to work harder". We work full time, 40 hours a week, and this is the kind of job people would work in the past and be able to afford a home no problem. Nowadays, we'd be saving for 10 years or so to even put together a deposit, and even with that, banks won't lend enough to afford more than a 1 bedroom place in the dodgiest parts of town due to property prices being fucking insane.
I ask him who the fuck are our jobs for then, and he came out with this nihilist bullshit about how some people exist to be stood on by others, and he said this with a totally straight face, while working this mediocre pay job, not seeking to move out of the job. Capitalist society has really got some people fucked in the head. "You just have to work harder!". Fuck that. I work hard enough and life isn't even secure. I'm subject to rent rises and landlords just pulling the rug out from under my feet, depleting my resources. I've got dead parents, no safety net of crawling back to theirs to live "cheaper", and my savings would be 100% wiped out by something like a sudden need to move home. Property prices only get evermore higher, banks get tighter on lending, my wages increase below inflation or just barely with it.
Life is a shambles to be young.
I ask him who the fuck are our jobs for then, and he came out with this nihilist bullshit about how some people exist to be stood on by others, and he said this with a totally straight face, while working this mediocre pay job, not seeking to move out of the job. Capitalist society has really got some people fucked in the head. "You just have to work harder!". Fuck that. I work hard enough and life isn't even secure. I'm subject to rent rises and landlords just pulling the rug out from under my feet, depleting my resources. I've got dead parents, no safety net of crawling back to theirs to live "cheaper", and my savings would be 100% wiped out by something like a sudden need to move home. Property prices only get evermore higher, banks get tighter on lending, my wages increase below inflation or just barely with it.
Life is a shambles to be young.
Went through the same shit. My coping mechanism was to embrace the reality that it's a grind. It sucks. I had to claw, scrape, and endure. Not everyone gets it handed to them from birth. Some of us gotta grind for our little piece.
It is what it is. But looking back the grind is worth it. You learn a lot about yourself, and others. Such is life.
It is what it is. But looking back the grind is worth it. You learn a lot about yourself, and others. Such is life.
This a fantastic post.
If you have your health and you life in a well off nation you should be able to find somethings to be happy about in your life.
This thread is really about how much it sucks to grow up. And in some ways it does, but its also something that everyone goes through and you will come out stronger on the other side.