Don't put words into my mouth I never said that. I'm out of this thread, once excelsiorlef starts putting words into your mouth it's time to gtfo.to tell us that if we don't let it happen the fascists will win.
Don't put words into my mouth I never said that. I'm out of this thread, once excelsiorlef starts putting words into your mouth it's time to gtfo.to tell us that if we don't let it happen the fascists will win.
Most women would find it weird/creepy because if you're really interested in a random strange woman walking around then you're only interested in her for looks first and foremost. This is why it's off putting to immediately be asked out based on just how we look. Beginning with a series of small talk, networking, going through acquaintances, etc, are all much more natural.
Did I say that? I said in a normal society occasionally a man or woman will approach another person for the purpose of gauging romantic interest. That doesn't make them terrible people.
Have some tact if you're going to do that, and quite frankly most men do not cold approach. It's not some simply thing, for most men it's quite frankly terrifying to try and approach a woman out of the blue that they're attracted to especially outside of a bar/nightclub and even in a bar/nightclub.
In a club or bar you have time to get a sense of someone before approaching them. Also, you have time to get to know one each other.Then why are so many people okay with it in a club or a bar? Neither gender approaches the other for anything other than physical attraction. It's more like, some people don't want to be approached outside of social settings.
You did manDon't put words into my mouth I never said that. I'm out of this thread, once excelsiorlef starts putting words into your mouth it's time to gtfo.
People acting like there's significant wiggle room make me wonder if they've ever tried to empathize with women for more than three seconds.Depending on the circumstances and as long as you're receptive to them wanting to be left alone. It's not a simple blanket yes or no thing, people acting like it is makes me wonder if they've ever stepped outside of their house.
You don't have to be a woman in order to see that it's clearly more terrifying for them then it is for a man. What do you fear? Rejection? A lot of woman fear much worse than that when being randomly approached by someone that is clearly hitting on them.
It's also clear that far more men cold approach woman than vice versa.
Because that's generally the expectation in clubs/bars. But a rando woman walking around in Costo just trying to do shopping? Not so much. I mean, you could try, but I don't think odds would be good. I know personally I would rather get to know a guy a little bit more before agreeing to go out on a date with them, or at least know him through other friends that can vouch.Then why are so many people okay with it in a club or a bar? Neither gender approaches the other for anything other than physical attraction. It's more like, some people don't want to be approached outside of social settings.
Yeah, you did say that.Don't put words into my mouth I never said that. I'm out of this thread, once excelsiorlef starts putting words into your mouth it's time to gtfo.
Because that's generally the expectation in clubs/bars. But a rando woman walking around in Costo just trying to do shopping? Not so much. I mean, you could try, but I don't think odds would be good. I know personally I would rather get to know a guy a little bit more before agreeing to go out on a date with them, or at least know him through other friends that can vouch.
I also know for a fact there are a lot of guys, probably a large majority at that, where asking them to go cold approach an attractive woman would make them break out into a cold sweat that borders of being forced into confronting a phobia or something. And some guys will work up the courage to get past that and do it anyway, but most don't.
Why do you keep coming back to this same anecdotal point over and over again?The odds are low, most men know that. Your odds are maybe 5% really that that's gonna work out for you, most men are terrified of approaching in a situation like that for that reason.
That's also a social construct, men are expected to take the lead in initiating interest. There's lots of women that complain about not getting approached and bemoan men for being so passive and reserved.
I have sympathy for both sides to some degree, I have a fiance who attracts a lot of attention and I understand sometimes there are uncomfortable interactions with men.
I also know for a fact there are a lot of guys, probably a large majority at that, where asking them to go cold approach an attractive woman would make them break out into a cold sweat that borders of being forced into confronting a phobia or something. And some guys will work up the courage to get past that and do it anyway, but most don't.
Why do you keep coming back to this same anecdotal point over and over again?
I've been out and about with women where there would sometimes be several unwelcome advances/catcalls in just a span of a few hours.
No this is in broad daylight out on the street.As have I, happens to my girlfriend, but generally it's in a nightclub or vicinity
WTF, why isn't it possible for women to ride a bus without having a dude hit on her?so a discussion came up in the dating thread about making "cold approaches" on women going about their day
in non-PUA terms, what this means is striking up conversations with random women you happen to see on public transport, at the shop, in the town square, in the library or whatever, with the intention of getting a date, or at least a phone number. rather than reserve this to people who have given signals they're interested, the idea is to it enough times that just by sheer numbers, eventually you'll hit up people that are interested
Reverse it for a moment, would you want to be approached many times a day by thirsty individuals?
I still think my approach of assuming nobody wants to talk to you is sound.
To the point, NO, this is basically and usually unwanted attention.
I'm sure lots of straight dude would love to get unwanted advances from thirsty gay dudes.
I mean yea... This is how you make connections and network. Obviously it has the potential for romantic relationships too. But it's always suprising the connections you can make just chatting with people generally. Obviously if they're giving off social queues as to I'm not in the mood to chat. Just stop. But it's pretty much a key component to being successful.I'm okay with people striking up idle chatter if the context is alright (i.e. waiting for a train, waiting in line for something, etc.). I've been on both ends of it before, despite being a very introverted person. Making friends and acquaintances is fun.
I'll take that as a no then. Context is a thing.People acting like there's significant wiggle room make me wonder if they've ever tried to empathize with women for more than three seconds.
And I'll be honest, it's a bit nerve wracking for us as well. We don't know you, we don't know your intentions, good or bad.The odds are low, most men know that. Your odds are maybe 5% really that that's gonna work out for you, most men are terrified of approaching in a situation like that for that reason.
Ego boost and flattering. If they were agressive hell no.I'm sure lots of straight dude would love to get unwanted advances from thirsty gay dudes.
Nobody in this thread is arguing that all or nearly all social interactions between men and women should be banned, dude. People are arguing that you should not make a habit out of approaching women who are minding their own business, who are complete and total strangers to you, and who have given you no signal at all that they would want to interact with you in any way, with the intent of getting them to start a romantic or sexual relationship with you. That you see no difference between that and 'an effective ban on all social interaction between men and women' is absurd. Your Taliban quip was entirely out of line.People are saying "never approach in any situation outside of a bar or unless you're 100% sure said person will like you". Is that really practical or realistic? I don't think so, but if you do, great. It's not something I would do, but I understand why it happens.
Reverse it for a moment, would you want to be approached many times a day by thirsty individuals?
Completely agree.I mean yea... This is how you make connections and network. Obviously it has the potential for romantic relationships too. But it's always suprising the connections you can make just chatting with people generally. Obviously if they're giving off social queues as to I'm not in the mood to chat. Just stop. But it's pretty much a key component to being successful.
Everytime we have one of these threads, the vast majority of women who comment basically say they'd rather not have random dudes coming up to them on the street trying to get their digits, which sets off a shitload of dudes responding with 'what if...' scenarios and "but my fiend..." anecdotes.
Given how many pages this thread is I'll assume the same thing has happened here.
...Everytime we have one of these threads, the vast majority of women who comment basically say they'd rather not have random dudes coming up to them on the street trying to get their digits, which sets off a shitload of dudes responding with 'what if...' scenarios and "but my fiend..." anecdotes.
Given how many pages this thread is I'll assume the same thing has happened here.
Except worse for the reasons stated above.This time with Taliban references and implications of this is why white men get recruited by incels and fascists.
Everytime we have one of these threads, the vast majority of women who comment basically say they'd rather not have random dudes coming up to them on the street trying to get their digits, which sets off a shitload of dudes responding with 'what if...' scenarios and "but my fiend..." anecdotes.
Given how many pages this thread is I'll assume the same thing has happened here.
And I'll be honest, it's a bit nerve wracking for us as well. We don't know you, we don't know your intentions, good or bad.
I'm sympathetic to both parties. Women have to deal with men constantly hitting on them, and as men, we kind of have to get out there (either in person or online) and fight to find a partner (not saying women don't also have to do this) and get use to constant rejection. Both things, the creepy approaching and rejections can get to you eventually.
Still, guys should around the "shit on the wall" approach. Use apps, or only try to make a move after building up a rapport, etc.
If we're going to get the parallel with the way things happen for women, you know it's gonna be mildly agressive most of the timeEgo boost and flattering. If they were agressive hell no.
I.E I'm sure people here feel about this quite differently based on their disposition. Let's not put a blanket over everything. Base it on the situation. I do hate the keep trying till you make it mentality of guys hitting on girls though. That's just some low level game theory crap.
I'm sure lots of straight dude would love to get unwanted advances from thirsty gay dudes.
Lol, this is good.Women of Era, how about on election day?
Let's say I'm in line waiting to vote and you're a few people ahead of me... if I walk up to you while you're filling out your ballot (nice hand writing btw I always struggle to fill in my circles completely!!! isn't that so funny), casually brush up against your leg in your polling booth, how do you think that'd go? I'm assuming because we both love democracy (trust me I love all of the issues, I'm very passionate, why else would I be voting) that you'd see that we're fellow travelers on this same cosmic journey and maybe we could get a drink. Plus, I overheard you mention where you live to the poll worker. I seriously live only a couple blocks from you, what are the odds that two lost connections end up at the same random spot on a Tuesday in November and just happen to live mere blocks from one another? I'm walking your way anyway, let's walk together.
What do you mean you're not interested?
Well what the fuck you just told your name to that old crusty fuck sitting at that table and you're not going to tell me your name? What's better about her than me? Why'd you tell her you were independent then? Don't you realize that when you tell A STRANGER that you're independent that most GOOD GUYS LIKE ME take that as a signal that as you're not currently seeing anyone and interested in meeting new people?
This. A lot of people don't seem to grasp the underlying power differences between the two sexes. It creates different reactions and situations.I think a lot of dudes need to empathize more and realize that your privilege to not get mugged, attacked, or raped by women blinds them from seeing a real issue many women face daily. Like, imagine you are in a hurry to meet some friends and you just wanted to get some beer before meeting up and some dude tries to make "small talk" with you. You'd be put off too.