Twat Thirteens works for me. It's like an SNK boss but with MvC Galactus transitions.
Oh I didn't mean on here, I'm just speaking generally IRL lol.
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This May Sound Horrible, But I Kinda Dread the Weekends Due to my 2-yr-old Son
- Thread starter Gaf Zombie
- Start date
Twat Thirteens works for me. It's like an SNK boss but with MvC Galactus transitions.
Oh I didn't mean on here, I'm just speaking generally IRL lol.
Lol, I posted something similar but edited because I thought it was too harsh.
Nice! We have a three-year-old and we just found out a pandemic baby is on the way next June!
So you're terrified and don't think you could do it but the plan is just to do it anyway. Don't understand the parent mentality at all. This thread is interesting, I'll give it that lol.
Fuck
Uh... second opinion? Anyone?
My wife really, really wants to have a second eventually. I don't know what would be harder on our marriage: me giving in and us dealing with two kids, or me continuing to refuse against her wishes. :(
Congrats! 😄
I've seen both sides now. When the pandemic hit in the US in March, I was furloughed for 3 months, and every single day was with the kiddo. You'd think getting all that time at home would be a gift, but I really don't remember much of it because all I was doing was trying to survive. It's the repetition that slowly drives you insane...wake up at 7am, eat, play, snack, play, lunch, nap?, play, play, snack, play, etc. etc. etc. Everyday becomes exactly the same.
Uh, you're gonna want to read that post again. There is no plan.
It gets worse at 3 years old. Our 3 year old is a whiny energizer bunny who is usually well mannered she just needs to pick her shit up when she is done playing. We removed all her toys for a few days last week because it was out of control. Reintroducing her to fewer toys now.
Right now I'm looking after our 2 month old until 4 am after having worked 3pm-11pm as a garbage man so my energy is already gone. I stay up late so the wife can get some sleep since she pumps every 4 hours and has the kids during the day.
My mom and step dad moved in and that is huge help for us, but it's still draining. I stay sane by working out since I have a nice home gym set up and can take an hour to myself. I'm usually picking up after the 3 year old between sets. I get about 5 hours of sleep a night which isn't great considering how much physical work I do.
Work is my break from home so get used to it. We haven't had sex in almost two weeks since we're just too tired and finding time for it is impossible.
Right now I'm looking after our 2 month old until 4 am after having worked 3pm-11pm as a garbage man so my energy is already gone. I stay up late so the wife can get some sleep since she pumps every 4 hours and has the kids during the day.
My mom and step dad moved in and that is huge help for us, but it's still draining. I stay sane by working out since I have a nice home gym set up and can take an hour to myself. I'm usually picking up after the 3 year old between sets. I get about 5 hours of sleep a night which isn't great considering how much physical work I do.
Work is my break from home so get used to it. We haven't had sex in almost two weeks since we're just too tired and finding time for it is impossible.
This thread seems refreshingly honest with parents thoughts vs the regular threads on it. So I appreciate it lol.
I'm playing the long game. I'll let you know in 20 years if it was worth the ride.
The complaining is largely just because it's good to vent and commiserate. But I'd guess a small minority in here would actually say they regret having any of their children.
The joy I get from, e.g., making my daughter laugh really hard is probably the most fulfilling I've ever experienced. And just marvelling at her development and how she's becoming a little human that can say her daycare friend's names, or chase our dog around with a huge smile on her face.... I live for that now. It's still important to have a life otherwise where we are also a couple, and also individuals, but I'd never want to give up being a dad.
Long as you wait till the pandemic has passed or otherwise have childcare that you both are comfortable with using available you'll be fine.
Kids are hard, but it's just being exacerbated now because there's the risk of your kid becoming a disease vector in daycare.
I love getting home at 4. Immediately whipping up snacks and such before making dinner before cleaning up before bath and bed routine. It's great it being almost 9 before I can sit down only to see the clock and realize the little dude will be awake in a couple hours having nightmares or whatever so I'll get to spend yet another uncomfortable night in bed with him so he'll get some sleep.
Yaaaay kids.
Yaaaay kids.
Having a normal kid is already hard, but I tell you that you're still on easy level, OP. Our daughter will be five soon and she has a rare genetic disease that caused epilepsy when she was 1,5. The illness made her stop developing until she was on medication and now she's at the brain age of a three years old, if even. She is just starting to speak a few words and can't express really well what she wants so it's a guessing game all the time. Weekends are non-existent, as she can't be on her own for more than five minutes.
It's hard, but she's the cutest thing that ever walked on earth. ❤️
It's hard, but she's the cutest thing that ever walked on earth. ❤️
This is bad parenting. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise
Here, I have one, but this is just my own personal experience, of course.
The wife and I have a 5 year old daughter who still has some anger management issues. 90 percent of the time she's great, but the other 10, she can be a screaming demon.
We had our second child in April, a son, and I've found the baby stuff quite refreshing: no coaxing to get something done, no million questions to answer, no tantrums to calm... just a bottle, a diaper change and off to bed.
I will add that my children are mutants, in that they began sleeping through the night really early. Like, at two months; and even then, they would only wake up once for their scheduled bottle. So my experience is quite unique.
Being a parent isn't always sunshine and roses. I personally wouldn't trade it for the world but of course there are rough days. Two and three are difficult years, I think, because they are able to get around but they are a bit young to really reason with. I've done these years five times, three times had kids that were 14-26 months apart. I wouldn't let it stop me from being a parent, because this stage passes and the kindergarten to, like, puberty, years are really enjoyable.
Teens are honestly worse.
It's tiring and if you don't have a way to get space when you need it it can compound and get bad fast. Especially with how high strung and anxious everyone is. Kids don't jive with that lol.
If I can get 10 minutes at a couple pivotal times throughout the day to get re-centered and out of a spiral, then I generally feel like I can take on anything the kids throw at me.
If I don't, or I can't, those tend to be the harder days. But kids are constantly changing, and to a degree you are in control of how much or how little it changes.
If I can get 10 minutes at a couple pivotal times throughout the day to get re-centered and out of a spiral, then I generally feel like I can take on anything the kids throw at me.
If I don't, or I can't, those tend to be the harder days. But kids are constantly changing, and to a degree you are in control of how much or how little it changes.
Have you communicated your worries and wishes to your wife? Having a kid should be a two way street, not just obeying someone else's wishes.
My daughter just turned two and I totally feel for the OP. My wife and I both work, but I always feel guilty on weekends because I often find myself looking forward to nap time so I can get some time to myself.
My main way of tackling it all is to try and do as much parenting as possible together with my wife instead of leaving it all to just one of us at any given time. We all go shopping together, we all go to the park together, and we all play at home together (as much as possible).
My main way of tackling it all is to try and do as much parenting as possible together with my wife instead of leaving it all to just one of us at any given time. We all go shopping together, we all go to the park together, and we all play at home together (as much as possible).
This is what I'm really afraid of. I have a very intelligent but stubborn and strong-willed 3 year old girl. I'm fucked when she hits the teens.
Buy a book about their development, and when they are being a handfull you pull it up and read what's going on right now in their bodies. You'll understand more easily and it will help you out. It did for me at least.
Nearly pissed my pants reading this.
I have a 30yr old so those days are well over. We stopped at one because it was too much for me to handle.
Funny though we had our niece and nephew over night last week and by the time they left my wife said she doesn't even want grandchildren now. 😂
She was half kidding but funny to see her done with kids when she was such an amazing/tolerant parent.
I have a 30yr old so those days are well over. We stopped at one because it was too much for me to handle.
Funny though we had our niece and nephew over night last week and by the time they left my wife said she doesn't even want grandchildren now. 😂
She was half kidding but funny to see her done with kids when she was such an amazing/tolerant parent.
It gets better, after the terrible 2, youve got the fucking 4 and from there it's smooth sailing and so much fun. Just hang on
I have a 15 month old that's only been walking a few weeks. I'm alone with him every Saturday and I've basically accepted that nothing will happen other than keeping him occupied. Luckily he's very calm and peaceful if I walk him in a stroller, and he loves just running around at the park. Winter months will surely be harder.
I'm sure I don't even know what I'm in for. But so far this is better than when he could only crawl and just repeatedly crawled over to the roomba or ripped books off every book shelf all day. Running around or playing with toys are more interesting to him now, which is much better. I definitely get the grind feeling already though. Especially if I'm just with him in our little condo all day.
I'm sure I don't even know what I'm in for. But so far this is better than when he could only crawl and just repeatedly crawled over to the roomba or ripped books off every book shelf all day. Running around or playing with toys are more interesting to him now, which is much better. I definitely get the grind feeling already though. Especially if I'm just with him in our little condo all day.
Have a 5 year old and a near 2 year old and yeah it's fucking hard and exhausting all the time. Those rare moments you get with one child when they go to sleep at the right time and you get a chance to relax or focus on a game or something? Now what are the chances that happens with 2? It's not twice as hard with a second kid, it's like 5x harder.
Oh, and don't forget the guilt and shame when the younger one requires more attention and the older one feels left out!
Oh, absolutely. Didn't mean to suggest otherwise. I've left the door open, though, so she knocks on it every so often. She is certain that she wants 2 kids and that we can manage it. She doesn't pressure me, but if I ultimately decide no she would be devastated, I think.
I think I've decided I'd rather wait until my daughter is a bit older and less dependent before we bring another baby into the equation. The flipside, of course, is that I'll be that much older while still having kids to raise...
I get it OP.
Kids are hard as all hell. Each stage is hard in a different way. It gets easier and then gets harder and then gets easier, etc.
Currently mine are fighting to stay awake and being little shits.
You're allowed to say that lol. Every parent understands.
At the end of the day you love them anyway :)
Edit: The upshot of having 2 kids is they can play together and in that way it makes your job a little easier.
I don't think I could handle 3, but my kids are very intense lol. Even their grandparents agree
Kids are hard as all hell. Each stage is hard in a different way. It gets easier and then gets harder and then gets easier, etc.
Currently mine are fighting to stay awake and being little shits.
You're allowed to say that lol. Every parent understands.
At the end of the day you love them anyway :)
Edit: The upshot of having 2 kids is they can play together and in that way it makes your job a little easier.
I don't think I could handle 3, but my kids are very intense lol. Even their grandparents agree
I have two kids and one of them is easy and one of them is not.
They're just their own little people man, even from a very early age. They both get the same experience in the same house but one of them is chill and the other is fucking PISSED all the time. It's wild.
Just never ever stop talking to them. Just talk and talk with them. That will teach them to talk too, more than saying "use your words" although I am guilty of using that phrase plenty, too. Just keep giving them your time and talking with them. That's all they need.
They're just their own little people man, even from a very early age. They both get the same experience in the same house but one of them is chill and the other is fucking PISSED all the time. It's wild.
Just never ever stop talking to them. Just talk and talk with them. That will teach them to talk too, more than saying "use your words" although I am guilty of using that phrase plenty, too. Just keep giving them your time and talking with them. That's all they need.
Love 'em but
Kids be demon spawns, and they're dragging you to hell all the way through teenhood. Have fun parent'ers!
Kids be demon spawns, and they're dragging you to hell all the way through teenhood. Have fun parent'ers!
That's SO true. People think that 1+1 is 2, but no, it's 11.
hahhaa, to quote a friend who had a kid 2 years before i did: "weekends suck now"
edit: at least we all find the time to post here
edit: at least we all find the time to post here
as someone who works with children please don't do this
i'm not blaming parents for trying their best but ignoring and invalidating crying children is one of the worst things you can do lol
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I have a 6 year old, a 4 year old and a 7 month old.
I'm somehow still alive after the beginning of the 2020, where I was out of work (forced closure due to covid) and my kids had to stay home for months. It was war.
It can be super exhausting but ultimately it's worth it. Kids are the best. But it is completely normal that you want some time away.
I'm somehow still alive after the beginning of the 2020, where I was out of work (forced closure due to covid) and my kids had to stay home for months. It was war.
It can be super exhausting but ultimately it's worth it. Kids are the best. But it is completely normal that you want some time away.
Honestly, the jump from 1 to 2 isn't nearly of the same magnitude as the jump from 0 to 1.
Yeah, things get a bit harder, but you're already in the mindset and it doesn't completely flip your life like the first one does.
Then a 3rd comes along and again, things change.
I really wanted 5. My wife wanted to stop at 3. So we stopped at 3.
I'm sure this can't be good
They don't cry because they want to annoy parents, they cry because they can't control themselves. So they will only learn to hide their emotions.
And they eventually stop crying all the time because they grow up lol.
That's not selfish at all, it's the right thing to do if you don't want this kind of thing.
Anyone who has had toddlers can feel you OP, it's tough at the time but looking back it was all just part of the ride.
You have to embrace it, keep them occupied by doing stuff but that doesn't always have to be their stuff, the beauty of that age is that almost everything is interesting to them.
But it does get easier, toddlers are completely unable to rationalise anything, they're basically animals who want to do whatever they want and you have to basically teach them social norms which is hard work.
Mine are 10 and 8 now.
You have to embrace it, keep them occupied by doing stuff but that doesn't always have to be their stuff, the beauty of that age is that almost everything is interesting to them.
But it does get easier, toddlers are completely unable to rationalise anything, they're basically animals who want to do whatever they want and you have to basically teach them social norms which is hard work.
Mine are 10 and 8 now.
it's honestly the most insidious and under-represented form of emotional abuse towards children. adults often assume that because THEY can self-regulate, children can too. young children literally cannot and do not understand/process emotions the same way adults do because their brain has not yet developed the part which does so.
when you ignore a crying child, you may eventually get it to stop. but only because the child has learnt that nobody will come to help you when you need it. leading to incredibly confused, anxious and sad teenagers/adults who end up in my office, unable to regulate their emotions because they never had the opportunity to as kids.
sorry for the tangent and rant. had a rough week supporting some kids with parents who didn't have a fucking clue how to care for little humans.
Having two worked well for us, our son was just over 2 when our daughter was born. And it was hard work of course, but more a matter of logistics as we were confident with babies and children by then. Helpful having two sometimes as they can occupy each other and you and the missus can find time for other things....