Paris zoo unveils the "blob", an organism with no brain but 720 sexes

[chadskin]

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-...ion=true&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=twitter

PARIS (Reuters) - A Paris zoo showcased a mysterious new organism on Wednesday, dubbed the "blob", a yellowish unicellular small living being which looks like a fungus but acts like an animal.

This newest exhibit of the Paris Zoological Park, which goes on display to the public on Saturday, has no mouth, no stomach, no eyes, yet it can detect food and digest it.

The blob also has almost 720 sexes, can move without legs or wings and heals itself in two minutes if cut in half.

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"The blob is a living being which belongs to one of nature's mysteries", said Bruno David, director of the Paris Museum of Natural History, of which the Zoological Park is part.

"It surprises us because it has no brain but is able to learn (...) and if you merge two blobs, the one that has learned will transmit its knowledge to the other," David added.

[mod edit: article truncated]

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[orava]

It looks tasty.

 

[shnurgleton]

We get it you have sex

 

[Sweeney Swift]

Piers Morgan already working on a tweet about how he remembers the good old days of only two sexes

 

[Mekanos]

All hail the blob.

 

[EchoChamber]

Even blobs can get laid.

 

[DJ_Lae]

I was confused for a second because at first I thought 'man that creature looks like some delicious ribs.'

 

[Kangi]

Same

 

[Einchy]

It looks like alien good you'd buy at Star Wars Land.

 

[Deleted member 15428]

 

[BDS]

Save some sex for the rest of us

 

[Dark Knight]

I have so many questions.

 

[mjc]

No. Do not let this thing survive.

This is how we all die.

 

[TransEuropaExpress]

I'd eat that with some curry ketchup

No. Do not let this thing survive.

This is how we all die.

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Trying not to avatar quote...

 

[iksenpets]

 

[Stay Up Be Easy]

Calvin finally hit land.


The planet is fucked.

 

[Kraken3dfx]

Gratz on the sex.

Probably tastes like chicken.

 

[JCX]

Gamefreak is getting so lazy

 

[CountAntonio]

 

[Distantmantra]

I read the full article, surprised zoo staff doesn't talk about how they discovered it.

 

[Nepenthe]

I hear the sound of a bunch of TERFS melting.

 

[Kalmakov]

Well it was a good run

 

[Halbrand]

The blob can move without legs or wings and heals itself in two minutes if cut in half.

"It surprises us because it has no brain but is able to learn (...) and if you merge two blobs, the one that has learned will transmit its knowledge to the other," David added.

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[Noisepurge]

yeah that´ll definitely devour the humanrace when it escapes captivity, i´ve seen The Thing

 

[J-Tier]

This is cool. I've been wanting to see weirder things showcased in zoos.

Like imagine if a zoo made a faux intestinal tract with a window on one side and a living tapeworm in it.

Give me the fascinating and weird.

 

[Deleted member 8468]

I wish the article provided a rough idea of what is considered a 'sex' of a fungus like that and how it can have so many.

Also the pic in OP looks like a chicken leg.

 

[Commedieu]

is it the yellow stuff on top of the ribs?

edit:

the fuck is it learning?

 

[Deleted member 4367]

I've seen Creepshow. I know how this ends.

 

[TheGreatDirector]

 

[super-famicom]

I, for one, welcome our new Blob overlord.

 

[Rookhelm]

I feel like I'm not understanding a joke that everyone is in on.

 

[Stick]

"It surprises us because it has no brain but is able to learn (...) and if you merge two blobs, the one that has learned will transmit its knowledge to the other," David added.

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Wtf this is some naruto shit right here!

 

[JigglesBunny]

With all due respect, fuck the Blob.

 

[Vivian-Pogo]

How does one determine the sex of a blob? How does anything about this creature/fungus even work? I am so confused.

 

[Mona]

No. Do not let this thing survive.

This is how we all die.

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[Cyanity]

But...where did it come from? And why does it look like delicious barbeque?

 

[Wok]

The picture from Wikipedia is quite something.

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[mjc]

I've seen Creepshow. I know how this ends.

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That's what I was thinking of!

 

[chadskin]

I read the full article, surprised zoo staff doesn't talk about how they discovered it.

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Mariana's Trench probably.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

[sgtnosboss]

that's definitely venom

 

[MazeHaze]

Is this a meme? Nothing about this makes sense. Viral halloween thing? Major scientific discovery, no mention of the origin, and it's at a fuckin zoo?

 

[Akira86]

So they tell us it's a blob, but show us a plate of lemon herb crusted, roasted short ribs?

 

[Team_Feisar]

Ben Shapiro right now:

 

[donkey]

I was confused for a second because at first I thought 'man that creature looks like some delicious ribs.'

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[Distantmantra]

Looks like a slime mold, I guess from the article's title I assumed they were showing off a new organism. Guess not.

 

[Prophet Five]

720 sexes? Republican minds are melting at the thought.

 

[jpv_13]

Yup this is how we all die.

Something that can't be hurt, has no brain, and eats everything in it's path...

 

[blame space]

 

[I Don't Like]

This article is entirely inadequate. Says this thing can "learn." Ok. What does it learn?

 

[Foxashel]

 

[Dark Knight]

Is this a meme? Nothing about this makes sense. Viral halloween thing? Major scientific discovery, no mention of the origin, and it's at a fuckin zoo?

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Yeah that's what I came in wondering but everyone started making dumb jokes in true Era fashion.

 

[ChubbyHuggs]

I read the full article, surprised zoo staff doesn't talk about how they discovered it.

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That's what I'm wondering.