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Is it kosher to celebrate financial milestones with friends?
- Thread starter Lumination
- Start date
If it was like, "Hey, I bought a house!" Then yeah, that's cool. You can have a little housewarming party too (in a non-pandemic situation), and then it becomes something they can actively celebrate, participate.
But if it's like, "Hey, I have (x) in my savings acct!" and that's it... maybe pass on that.
But if it's like, "Hey, I have (x) in my savings acct!" and that's it... maybe pass on that.
This. I make good money but rarely say those words. I also grew up poor. (Christmases without presents, donated clothing, and food stamps.)
Edit: this also reminds me of a friend of mine who makes very good money, but I would never know. One day I did the "how much did you pay for this jacket" Seinfeld bit with him. "Tell me you don't make $200k." (No response) "lol are you kidding me?!" His response "I grew up poor and never thought I'd ever make this much so I don't talk about it." Now that's class.
As others have said if your buying a house / paid off student loans, etc. that should be no problem.
If it's a personal savings goal I wouldn't celebrate it with anyone that either didn't know you were working toward that goal or you aren't sure they wouldn't potentially feel bad.
If it's a personal savings goal I wouldn't celebrate it with anyone that either didn't know you were working toward that goal or you aren't sure they wouldn't potentially feel bad.
This.
Celebrating with friends that you have X amount in the bank is odd.
This is it. I talk to my brother about things like that, but not something I would just share with friends or even ALL my family members.
Now, when our student loans are paid off, we are fucking throwing a party!
No.
At least not the older ones.
I do know some tacky well off people that only talk about money. But even they wouldn't do this.
Depends. If your friends alread knew of your goals and they know it's been important to you and they're all stable then sure. Why not?
But if you all don't typically discuss your personal fiscal situations then I'd keep my circle a bit tighter when discussing milestones.
Meh. When I was broke as shit couldn't afford a car or anything my boy was doing fucking outstanding for a dude in his early 20's. Bought a car straight cash and had dough stacked. But jealousy/resentment/insecurity never really factored into it.
We were just happy for each other regardless of where we were. Just happy to see the other progress. But he never bragged like that. Never got into specifics regarding his funds but we knew he was doing well and when we discussed our situations he'd share his perspective. Just depends on the friends. Rock solid friends shouldn't foster resentment for the other success.
But if you all don't typically discuss your personal fiscal situations then I'd keep my circle a bit tighter when discussing milestones.
Meh. When I was broke as shit couldn't afford a car or anything my boy was doing fucking outstanding for a dude in his early 20's. Bought a car straight cash and had dough stacked. But jealousy/resentment/insecurity never really factored into it.
We were just happy for each other regardless of where we were. Just happy to see the other progress. But he never bragged like that. Never got into specifics regarding his funds but we knew he was doing well and when we discussed our situations he'd share his perspective. Just depends on the friends. Rock solid friends shouldn't foster resentment for the other success.
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OP
OP
I honestly thought people wouldn't take the word "celebrate" to mean throwing a party, especially during covid lol. I'll add it the to OP.
But honestly thought it would be a bit more one-sided than this. I guess a lot of it has to do with everyone's personal relationships with their friends too.
But honestly thought it would be a bit more one-sided than this. I guess a lot of it has to do with everyone's personal relationships with their friends too.
If you got good friends - yes. I know exactly how much each of my friends make and not once has money ever become a thing with us. One of my close friends makes over twice as much as me, and he and I still split bar tabs (pre-COVID obviously) as an example.
What news, "hey, I got money" is not news, even if you worked really hard for it. Like first post said, don't brag about money. Celebrate after buying that house.
I probably wouldn't do that myself, just because I'd worry I would make others feel bad about their own situations.
I'm curious what your savings goal was and your age. I want to feel superior to you/feel bad about myself.
OP
OP
Sorry, ya'll were my best friends all along, so I can't tell :x
This here. With real close friends you can celebrate anything you want. But you should know where to draw that line and with who.
Yup. Also gives you a chance to compare career paths, what steps they took to get there, etc.
These businesses don't want us discussing money because that information leads to people pursuing better-paying jobs.
A lot of people feel worse when someone else is doing well and they are not. It's why social media causes so much depression.
It doesn't work that way on everyone but I tell my wife not to post some shit on Instagram because I know it makes some people feel bad.
Well, do you generally talk with your friends about financial milestones? Did they ever come to you to tell you how much they are making? It fully depends on how close and familiar you are with them. If you don't chat much and now out of nowhere you get in touch with them to brag about money that would be rather weird.
Lmao. We're talking about friends still right? Not colleagues? I'd love to compare my high salary with my unemployed friends to stick to the corporations.
It's not worth it. Compared to the average wage in the US, I'm rich as shit and I grew up lower middle class. Plenty of reason to celebrate, but I never would. Celebrating financial milestones is the worst kind of bragging (it's not even stealth). If you want to celebrate milestones, do it for your student loan debt or buying a house or something. Celebrating something like $100k in saving is just...please no.
I would say no. Generally people aren't going to want to hear about your latest portfolio milestone. Much less celebrate it.
Depends on you and your friends. Like, if this was a well-known goal you've been aiming for and they knew it, go off. But it would seem odd to me if nobody knew you were aiming for X number, and you announce it. Personally, glad to see friends doing well. Big stuff like raises, or even smaller mentions like "savings doing real good."
But none of 'em have ever mentioned a specific goal, so if suddenly one said "I hit 50k in savings!" I'd be like, "wow that's awesome! (..but what's that number for?)" lol
But none of 'em have ever mentioned a specific goal, so if suddenly one said "I hit 50k in savings!" I'd be like, "wow that's awesome! (..but what's that number for?)" lol
imho this is the kind of milestone you personally party over regardless. And if you need to ask the question, I'm assuming you already may have an inkling that some may not take it well. Don't do it.
Some are saying it's real friends vs not, but I don't think it's entirely that simple. Even very good friends can have feelings of inadequacy come up when it comes to comparisons of money. Unless everyone is blatantly balling.
Some are saying it's real friends vs not, but I don't think it's entirely that simple. Even very good friends can have feelings of inadequacy come up when it comes to comparisons of money. Unless everyone is blatantly balling.
I'd tell me parents every detail because they'd genuinely be happy without any sense of jadedness. My friends would be happy for me, but it would be awkward. I don't know any of their financials, so it'd be weird to make a thing about some of mine. I guess if you all openly, regularly share those details, there'd be no problem.
House warming party, promotion, starting a buisness, ect., yes. I personally think it is rude and unnecessary to talk about cash in my bank account or savings. I think my friends and I know where we all stand economically without having to give specifics. I have friends who make much more than me and others who make much less. Doesn't change how I feel about them. I personally have never talked about savings or anything with any of my friends nor have they. I have friends who are doctors and lawyers and some who work retail and food service. I think we all can get an idea of where we are financially by seeing the type of house, car or other things we have. No need to extrapolate on any of that.
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Your friends can see how well you're doing when you make purchases or upgrade your living space. They don't need to know about your savings. If you were to tell them, you also run the risk of having them feel like you're rubbing it in their faces, even if that wasn't your intent. So I wouldn't, if I were you.
Congratulations, though.
Congratulations, though.
My friends and I talk about money all the time. We are all very open about our financial situations. I recently got a new job at Intel and they know everything from my salary to RSUs.
We have been friends for over 14 years at this point (I'm 27) and we give each other advise and recommendations on basically everything. We also like to celebrate.
We have been friends for over 14 years at this point (I'm 27) and we give each other advise and recommendations on basically everything. We also like to celebrate.
A house is a cool thing to do fun things with to celebrate. You get to have the party in your new house. It's like a bigger version of having a barbecue to break in the new grill you bought.
A party to celebrate savings doesn't have any of that. It's just an announcement of wealth.
Yea, me and almost all of my friends grew up poor as hell. We were all happy when one of us "made it". Or at least got past the struggle of living check-to-check. It's not bragging, they're your friends. If they're unhappy about it there's nothing you can do. I was happy for all of my friends that got established years before I was able to do the same.
While this might be true in a surface level, overall I feel it's kind of a shallow, over simplified view.
People are complex beings and even deep friendship isn't black and white. Someone can be happy for another in a conscious level but deep down, feel unhappy because of various things, such as huge inequality in their lives. Doesn't mean they're consciously blaming you for it, but such things can easily cause feelings along the lines of "what the hell am I doing with my life" or "why the hell are they bragging about such things?", for example.
Like, I've been doing really well during this pandemic, but I wouldn't brag about it to a friend who works as a nurse and gets shitty salary and is in danger of getting exposed to the Coronavirus every day. It's completely unfair that there is such inequality. I might say I'm doing good but there's no point in sharing everything about my financial progress and how well exactly I'm doing, unless asked.