The me zone I guess.What's the zone where you get so emotionally invested in a conversation you're eavesdropping on that you make a thread on an internet message board?
The me zone I guess.What's the zone where you get so emotionally invested in a conversation you're eavesdropping on that you make a thread on an internet message board?
What's the zone where you get so emotionally invested in a conversation you're eavesdropping on that you make a thread on an internet message board?
This is what you should have done.There was a girl I liked when I was like 17 or 18, and I was friends with her for a few months. I told her I liked her (mind you, she was single, so I wasn't saying anything while she had a boyfriend or anything), and she told me in a roundabout way that she didn't feel the same. I was sad, but it happens. I stopped initiating conversation with her, because I was rejected and it was just going to be awkward. But shortly after, she started dating somebody, and she was apparently unhappy in her relationship. She would talk to me and vent about her boyfriend, and I tried to help her once, giving advice and all that, and and after the second time, I thought to myself, "what am I doing? This is insane. She knows I liked her and she's asking me advice about her boyfriend?"
The stuff in your OP does sound like basically victim-blaming, but I think what happened to me was a form of "friendzoning" that I also hear about sometimes, where you're rejected but then she comes to you for advice and to vent about her relationships to you.
Tell it to me straight, the guy getting eye fucked was way hotter, right? Was your husband also team eye fucked, or does he go for the underdog and was rooting for team self insert?
His name? Albert EinsteinTell it to me straight, the guy getting eye fucked was way hotter, right? Was your husband also team eye fucked, or does he go for the underdog and was rooting for team self insert?
What's the zone where you get so emotionally invested in a conversation you're eavesdropping on that you make a thread on an internet message board?
This place isn't ready for edible trips threads.I don't know, but I think its the same zone where you eat edibles, have a bad trip and then make a panic thread about it.
I'd like to request this thread name be changed to "BEHOLD! THE HUMAN EGO"
This is what you should have done.
"Well hopefully you get through it!"
Nothing more, nothing less.
I guess there isn't really an accepted definition of the friend zone. I'd define "someone in the friend zone" as a person who resorts to scheming in order to keep their romantic/sexual desires alive when the other person has told them they're only a friend.I have no doubt it happens the other way round. Just I've only ever seen it unironically used by incel-esque neckbeard types to whine about not getting their dick wet.
That said, I'd be interested in hearing of some of your experiences.
If a girl invites you to sleep with her and then requires you to sleep with an extra blanket, you need to walk out. That is beyond insulting. Yeah, she's shitty for doing that. 100% shitty. Though if a guy actually continues to sleep in that bed, holy cow. He needs to look in a mirror asap. That's when you tell her off and walk out.
There was a girl I liked when I was like 17 or 18, and I was friends with her for a few months. I told her I liked her (mind you, she was single, so I wasn't saying anything while she had a boyfriend or anything), and she told me in a roundabout way that she didn't feel the same. I was sad, but it happens. I stopped initiating conversation with her, because I was rejected and it was just going to be awkward. But shortly after, she started dating somebody, and she was apparently unhappy in her relationship. She would talk to me and vent about her boyfriend, and I tried to help her once, giving advice and all that, and and after the second time, I thought to myself, "what am I doing? This is insane. She knows I liked her and she's asking me advice about her boyfriend?"
The stuff in your OP does sound like basically victim-blaming, but I think what happened to me was a form of "friendzoning" that I also hear about sometimes, where you're rejected but then she comes to you for advice and to vent about her relationships to you.
The term friendzone is pretty much an oxymoron, because it's using "being friends" as a pejorative. If you basically loath that you're "just" friends with someone, are you actually their friends?
I may not have been clear there, but upon the realization during the second time it happened, I no longer talked to her about that stuff. She got the message that I wasn't interested in talking to her about that stuff in very little time and we just stopped interacting at all.This sounds more like an unhealthy friendship without any set boundaries. Like you got rejected, continued to be friends, she chose you to confide in about her relationship (kind of inconsiderate of her), and you just... let it happen despite the fact it was clearly bothering you?
The problem with the "friend zone" is that it implies a women "owes you" for your friendship. I have had my share of female friends I had a crush on that was largely unreciprocated, and I've rode them out for Months, sometimes years, before in hopes of something changing. The truth is it never really does, and its way better to be upfront about expectations, honest about whether you really want a friendship or not and how you view women as friends. If your reaction to being shut down by an established friendship is to just be miserable in a friendship because you were rejected, that's not healthy.
I may not have been clear there, but upon the realization during the second time it happened, I no longer talked to her about that stuff. She got the message that I wasn't interested in talking to her about that stuff in very little time and we just stopped interacting at all.
Girl's boyfriend was probably being texted near-constant updates about how pathetic and thirsty the guy was, though. I don't feel bad for him either.This thread is a fun read, for sure.
About that Busch Gardens Halloween story, damn the girl is so shitty for manipulating the dude, but the dude was also so shitty trying to force things on her in a stupid way, really dunno which was worse. I kinda just felt bad for the girl's boyfriend in the end.
Can't tell if this has to do with climate change or sex.Y'all focusing on the Friendzone while you should be focusing on the Ozone smh
Power dynamics aren't a problem just because they exist, they are a problem when they are abused.Even same sex friendships between heterosexuals have power dynamics.
Ever had a friend ask you to help them move? It's not like you wanna do it, but you do it because you care about the friendship.
Ever had a friend that challenges your social barriers and you go along with it because you want to please them?
Ever done drugs because your friends were doing them?
This shit ain't usual...men just don't know how to deal with it when attraction is involved. It's fine if a man has more power in a friendship than another man if they're both straight, but it's not OK for a woman to have more power because then they are "leading the man on" or some other such bullshit.
Friendships in general require give and take, and thus require sacrifice to maintain. So the next time you're fawning over a friend who isn't into you, ask yourself whether your own personal desires are more important than the foundation of the friendship.
Gay people somehow find a way to deal with this.
Women somehow find a way to deal with this.
So stop playing the victim and find a way to deal with it.
OP basically stanning for DV while in a thread about the friendzone. Weird shit.This garbage you vomited out can be used to literally justify any abuse.
"Oh a woman is being beaten by her partner? Well clearly she should just grow a spine and not let herself get pushed around."
True, trying to start a relationship with someone already in a relationship is pretty shitty behavior, regardless of whether that behavior is being encouraged by the other party or not.This thread is a fun read, for sure.
About that Busch Gardens Halloween story, damn the girl is so shitty for manipulating the dude, but the dude was also so shitty trying to force things on her in a stupid way, really dunno which was worse. I kinda just felt bad for the girl's boyfriend in the end.
It's more the idea that, "I rejected this friend of mine, but I'm going to continue venting to them about my current relationship, despite knowing they like me." And she did try to do that at least four times (the two that I actually talked to her about with and two or three times after that where I didn't respond). That's what I think of when I hear the term "friend zone." It's having the physical relationship with one person and using your rejected friend for the emotional support. Maybe that's just the incorrect usage of the term. It's not exactly a term I use every day. Honestly, I think the last time I did was back when it happened, a good twelve or thirteen years ago.That's a fair progression of things, I'd avoid using "friend zoned" as a descriptor of what happened there. You went out on a limb with a friend, got shut down, and the friendship kind of naturally fizzled out after the fact.
the situation you described is all fine and good but the term is tainted by people using it as an attack on women for daring to reject men. even my little sister who is just 14 told me about some kid at her school whom she told she only wanted to be friends with and then proceded to call her 15 times that night and text her about how she zoned him.It's more the idea that, "I rejected this friend of mine, but I'm going to continue venting to them about my current relationship, despite knowing they like me." And she did try to do that at least four times (the two that I actually talked to her about with and two or three times after that where I didn't respond). That's what I think of when I hear the term "friend zone." It's having the physical relationship with one person and using your rejected friend for the emotional support. Maybe that's just the incorrect usage of the term. It's not exactly a term I use every day. Honestly, I think the last time I did was back when it happened, a good twelve or thirteen years ago.
Power dynamics aren't a problem just because they exist, they are a problem when they are abused.
This comment literally discounts and devalues what domestic violence victims experience. There is a wide gulf of difference between actual abuse and what a portion of this thread is commenting on (and admittedly mocking): it amounts to two shitty people with misaligned interests interacting with each other, while probably already understanding what's going on.OP basically stanning for DV while in a thread about the friendzone. Weird shit.
Ah yes, as the only non-video game nerd on this video game forum, we ask for your advice in these trying times.I'm sorry OP had to deal with some of the posts in here. I'm not sure what I expected out of a forum full of video game nerds though.
Yes. You and OP.No one in this thread has excused or condoned abuse, whether physical or emotional.
So its unwanted person's fault for remaining interested and trying to become more than friends because...? You enable that when you just give vague maybes instead of being honest and tellling them straight up you're not interested. Im not understanding your logic tbh.God what a youth ruiner this shit was. You couldn't talk to a guy while smiling without dealing with the consequences for weeks. They don't care about the "subtle" hints.
They see this as a challenge, not a sign.
- Haha yeah
- Cool
- I'll think about it
- Lol
When it gets to the point of no return where the direct rejection has to happen, he tells his friends "I was friendzoned". Fucking what? Yeah dude, you're the victim of me. A++. I had to read your cringy shit and get so creative with excuses that I have to keep up with two different stories and lives.
"Why don't you just be honest with him?" Yeah that don't work. It just leads to watching a man get so pathetic and low in front of me, it makes me question my sexuality.
Friendzone is an excuse for guys so they can direct the blame to girls instead of themselves. It made me dread high school classes. I can feel his breathing over my shoulder despite him being across the classroom. I just know he's going to try to talk to me when we're walking to the hallway.
I'm married and that part of my life is past me though tonight I witnessed a poor young girl dealing with the same thing at the table next to us. She was trying to relate to a guy she was eye fucking but another guy stayed in the middle of the conversation and ruined the vibe. The look of defeat in her eyes hurt my soul. He couldn't stop trying.
Why must you hurt her?
Nope.
That's literally not how abuse works though. If it were that easy then no one would ever be the victim of child abuse, domestic violence, or any other form of severe or even minor emotional or physical abuse.If you know they are being abused then you should know the dynamics of the relationship aren't in your best interest. You can either change the dynamics or cut it loose.
You say that, but the problem is that people are deploying the same kind of "why doesn't she just leave" logic. Yes, the situation is different, but I'm not seeing why the magnitude of the abuse would have any relationship to the appropriateness of blaming the victim.This comment literally discounts and devalues what domestic violence victims experience.
This is straight up just victim blaming and it's not the only example in this thread, which I find highly confusing.If you know they are being abused then you should know the dynamics of the relationship aren't in your best interest. You can either change the dynamics or cut it loose.
That's literally not how abuse works though. If it were that easy then no one would ever be the victim of child abuse, domestic violence, or any other form of severe or even minor emotional or physical abuse.
Y'all focusing on the Friendzone while you should be focusing on the Ozone smh
This is straight up just victim blaming and it's not the only example in this thread, which I find highly confusing.
i want to go to the friendzone where it's like a place where you were sumo suits and do wall climbing and playing lazer tag and also meet people
You say that, but the problem is that people are deploying the same kind of "why doesn't she just leave" logic. Yes, the situation is different, but I'm not seeing why the magnitude of the abuse would have any relationship to the appropriateness of blaming the victim.