I guess it's time for a brand new episode of my cheeky pseudo-predictions...
"Nine years ago, we said Xenoblade Chronicles was a breath of fresh air in a stale genre. A fresh coat of paint helps elevate it to today's standards, but some nagging resolution issues slightly mar the experience." -IGN (8)
"Fans of the breakout original title will be delighted to know that the new story chapter is even weirder than it appears. At last we have a truly Definitive Edition." -Destructoid (9)
"On the eve of this review's looming deadline, I sped across the interstate at over 90 miles per hour frantically attempting to deliver my roommate to the airport before her flight to New York. I didn't think to ask her why she was going to New York; I simply pretended that I wielded the Monado, and only I could guarantee her a brighter tomorrow. I send this article to Kotaku dot com by way of a prison cell." -Kotaku (Recommended)
"All that is to say that I can't help feeling a bit underwhelmed with Xenoblade Chronicles: Definitive Edition. There was a once-in-a-lifetime chance here to turn a good game into something perfect but Takahashi and his team opted toward a more conservative, anime-infused, brush-up. It's worth a purchase to see what all the fuss is about but it might be best to wait for a better bargain." -GameSpot (7)
"Fluttering through the bravely bizarre landscapes will cost players dozens of hours of their lives, but updated visuals and an excellent aural aura makes it time well spent. By the time I finished my sojourn across Bionis, I wished only that the more meticulous and irksome subsystems present within the game had been extinguished as well, for I would have sojourned all over again." -Eurogamer (Recommended)
"Xenoblade Chronicles sold 31.7% to its potential in 2011 and 2012, a statistically grim digit spurred by below-average software attachment to the aging hardware it arrived upon. Necessary comparisons, albeit unwelcome ones, include the middling performance of Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci's crashed-course summer tentpole, Cowboys and Aliens. Disney was smart to purchase Lucasfilm to the tune of just over $4 billion, though Nintendo must be conservative in light of recent rounding errors. Given the present theater landscape, I am 83.5% likelier to pick up Xenoblade today than I was yesterday." -Forbes (83.5%?)
"I camped outside my local Walmart for 48 hours (while wearing a mask) so that I could be the very first gamer in my neighborhood to hold this gem in my hands. As it turns out, I was the only person waiting, and I didn't see anyone else purchase a copy by the time I left the store at 12:28AM. I did, however, record the experience." -Tim Rogers ("It's like eating Wooloo-flavored curry after a long hike through a desolate, RPG-devoid desert; it's basically perfect and I'm never camping outside a Walmart again")
"Pre-release resolution woes were sadly spot-on, and the overindulgent localization is as incredulous today as it was in years past. Xenoblade Chronicles isn't a bad game by any means, but Death Stranding is." -Stevivor (6)
"I named my firstborn daughter after Melia immediately after clearing the game. Nintendo has once again proven the earth is spherical." -NintendoLife (10)
