I fear getting hemmed up by the police one day and hearing "He's going for my gun!!" as I just stand there. Like, it's legit one of my biggest fears.
Mate you dont know the half of it.
Everytime ive lived in a majority white country ive had a near constant sense of anxiety whenever im out in public.
Nothing ever materialized in The UK, The US and France but it finally happened seemingly inevitably.
Got the cops called on my ass for crossing the street meters from my house. Some girl who was delivering pamphlets door to door, my street only has a walkway on one side, the side she was on...my black sense was tingling so I knew to let her go some distance and pray she isnt going the same direction (so i set up my playlist and put on my earphones)....the gods were on my side she was going left I was going right.....my black sense was still going off so I walked on the road a few meters then crossed to the other side with a walkway....as im walking a "clearly" unmarked police car passes me going down towards my street (its a dead end so I was already thinking what the fuck, but after the small victory of not needing to walk behind her or pace fast as fuck to overtake her I was feeling confident that im just a normal human being)
Go my cigarettes and started my walk back home...lo and behold the cop car is parked a few houses ahead of mine and two cops come out stop me and question me....during said questioning the girl from earlier shows up with tears in her eyes and says I scared her....I wasnt even shocked or angry.....pure calm, clarity a confirmation of a view ive held for so long was staring at me petrified........I am a monster.
Two months later I left Australia and have never looked back.