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My father used to lie in bed with my teenage sister and squeeze her blackheads

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Threadkular

Threadkular

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Dec 29, 2017
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I've gone through a lot over the past year and I've openly shared it, probably to the annoyance of some here. I've been having a lot of memories come back from my hyper religious childhood - alcoholism, abuse, etc.

As stated in the title, my father (the alcoholic) used to lie in bed (clothed and above covers for what it's worth) and squeeze out my pubescent older sisters' blackheads. I think my sister wanted him to do it - she was a perfectionist with appearance and a "daddy's girl". My mom eventually stopped it.

As a 35 year old man (no kids though), I can't imagine doing this to another person, much less a teenage girl. My perspective on it now is going to dark places...

I did some googling about this, and all I could find was some topics about parents doing similar in /r/raisedbynarcissists.

I know this is really random, but right now I'm just really scared. I need somewhere to put this out and get anonymous feedback.

Edit: I can not see myself, an adult male, lieing on top of a teenage pubescent girl in bed with my face within inches of hers. To me that seems inappropriate. That's the image I see.

Again, I dont have kids.

Edit2: so hopefully some good can come of this thread, I'm not saying my father is a pedophile. I believe pedophilea is wholly different from sexual abuse occurring in an alcoholic home. When someone is drunk all the time, you'll always question their intentions. I say this as a recovering drunk.
 
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John Rabbit

John Rabbit

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Oct 25, 2017
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That's terrible OP, I'm sorry you're dealing with this; but the good news is that you ARE dealing with this. Childhood trauma goes unchecked/undiagnosed for way too many people.

What is it that's making you feel scared?
 
Siinova

Siinova

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Oct 29, 2017
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I'm not getting what's bad about this tbh no disrespect at all but is there more to the story?
 
butzopower

butzopower

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Oct 27, 2017
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I have hairs that constantly grow out of a mole on my chest that my wife pull out for me. I guess I'd probably not have my mother or father do it.
 
Shadownet

Shadownet

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Oct 29, 2017
3,281
Yeah I don't know what's wrong with this OP. Seems fairly normal, it's something your sister and your father liked to do, it's their way of bonding. Nothing creepy, sexual or weird about it.
 
Miles X

Miles X

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Oct 27, 2017
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Well, for starters Google can make anything sound ridiculous or scary. Do you have memories of it being anything more than your dad sitting on her bed squeezing her black heads? because if not, stop being ridiculous, looks like you're fetching for drama.
 
hey it's that dog

hey it's that dog

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Oct 25, 2017
9,140
That's really gross and unusual but I don't think it's necessarily an indication of anything more sinister. Sorry that you feel uncomfortable about it in any case. I would try to maintain a measured approach and not let your imagination run away with you and create some unnecessary trauma. Our interpretation of events is key in how they affect us and you can use this to your advantage if the only threat is to your own psychological well-being. If, on the other hand, you are concerned about some kind of ongoing harm to another person, I guess you should investigate further if that's possible.
 
BLEEN

BLEEN

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Oct 27, 2017
21,991
WTF Era lol

Sounds normal enough. Haven't you ever noticed some people just really like popping pimples and cysts? There's thousands and thousands of videos dedicated to it.
Girlfriend will pop boyfriend's pimples which is normal enough I guess. So I don't see how this is any different; it's odd, but it's fine lol

TLDR - Prob. over-thinking it, OP.
 
lacer

lacer

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was he like eating them or something
 
Downhome

Downhome

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Oct 27, 2017
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I see nothing wrong with this either. I mean, it's gross if you look at it just at face value, but this happens a lot.
 
MrH

MrH

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BLEEN said:
WTF Era lol

Sounds normal enough. Haven't you ever noticed some people just really like popping pimples and cysts? There's videos dedicated to it.
Girlfriend will pop boyfriend's pimples which is normal enough I guess. So I don't see how this is any different; it's odd, but it's fine lol
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My Mum is one of those weirdos, loves popping a ripe spot. It's gross as fuck but not weird in the way OP is making it sound.
 
Ebullientprism

Ebullientprism

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My wife does this to me. I dont like it but everyone now and then she will catch me unawares and start squeezing. :(

Sorry OP. Maybe there is context we are missing but it sounds benign (and gross).
 

Deleted member 9932

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I don't know anything about you nor the context you've lived, but in abstract, that doesn't sound problematic. My mom always loved to do the same with pimples, blackheads, etc. I think she still wants it lol
 

Deleted member 9145

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My mom slaps my ass when I see her, like we play on the same football team or something

Im almost 23

Is that DISGUSTING to you era?
 
Ashby

Ashby

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Oct 25, 2017
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Sounds like you already have issues with your father and want another reason to hate him
 
BLEEN

BLEEN

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Oct 27, 2017
21,991
When I was a teen I had pretty bad acne, girls (friends, acquaintances) would come up to me in school and literally ask if they could pop my shits.
No, Karin, you fuckin' can't.

Like I said, point is, it's normal enough if people come up to others and actually ask.
 
Ehoavash

Ehoavash

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Oct 28, 2017
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During the summer anytime I didn't have my shirt on, my mom would always pop my zits/ pimples I had on my back..

I don't see much wrong
 
LegendofJoe

LegendofJoe

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Oct 28, 2017
12,112
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Some people have a compulsion to pick at pimples and blackheads. My wife is one of them. It used to really annoy me, but she enjoys it so I eventually just decided to let her do her thing.
 
Parthenios

Parthenios

The Fallen
Oct 28, 2017
13,666
My daughter likes to remove blackheads off my back. I'm not sure where she picked that up (YouTube probably), she asked me and not the other way around. I don't care for it (she squeezes too damn hard) but it's harmless and a couple of extra minutes of bonding a week. I only get 18 years with her so if she wants to spend time with me I'm not going to be overly critical about the details :D
 
AGoodODST

AGoodODST

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Oct 28, 2017
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Are we missing some context? You seem to be implying there was a sexual element in this for your father.

Doesn't seem that way from what you described.
 
Tuorom

Tuorom

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Oct 30, 2017
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Threadkular said:
Edit: I can not see myself, an adult male, lieing on top of a teenage pubescent girl in bed with my face within inches of hers. To me that seems inappropriate. That's the image I see.

Again, I dont have kids.
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Click to shrink...

You're going to have to expand on what actually happened. He's on top of her now?
 
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