"I'm totally awesome so I have nothing to worry about. Our relationship is different."
Said every guy who has been cheated on.
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Meet a girl and find out she has a boyfriend. Do you still go for it?
- Thread starter Deleted member 35631
- Start date
"I'm totally awesome so I have nothing to worry about. Our relationship is different."
Said every guy who has been cheated on.
Eh ... it's not like that in the least bit and this is a shitty justification for making a move on anyone in a relationship regardless of gender.
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Yes, OP that's a shitty situation. Been there. All I can say is be a good friend, and who knows what can happen if they are not married, and maybe not all that solid, maybe that relationship will run its course, and who knows what could happen, but don't try and actively undermine the relationship. Because you will be shot down hard, and kiss the friendship goodbye.
And if you can't emotionally handle just friendship, then maybe just keep distance altogether. Don't get all emotionally invested either way, as your chances really aren't good here. Plenty of fish, ideally find one without baggage.
And if you can't emotionally handle just friendship, then maybe just keep distance altogether. Don't get all emotionally invested either way, as your chances really aren't good here. Plenty of fish, ideally find one without baggage.
What kind of a person even thinks about making a move on someone already in a relationship.
You are garbage OP.
You are garbage OP.
Not a damned thing that anyone says in this thread will change the op's course, the parking break was released before they hit submit.
The few "hell yeah dawg" replies cemented that even with the majority saying no way.
It does not feel like a lasting relationship is the goal anyway.
But the real truths have been covered already...you do not shit where you eat by dipping into the pool where you work and if she left for you she sure as hell will leave for someone else later.
The few "hell yeah dawg" replies cemented that even with the majority saying no way.
It does not feel like a lasting relationship is the goal anyway.
But the real truths have been covered already...you do not shit where you eat by dipping into the pool where you work and if she left for you she sure as hell will leave for someone else later.
Are you saying you knowingly waited for a decline in the relationship to dive in? That just seems like an odd way to phrase the bolded.
In a general sense, I think if you're in an unhappy relationship you should either try to fix it or leave for your own good instead of waiting to jump ship to a new relationship. Clearly you two are very happy so I'm not saying this as to somehow discredit your relationship because obviously I doubt you would do things any different but I wouldn't give this anecdote as general advice to people who want to slide in on people in relationships, like the OP. The way I see it, if someone is in a bad relationship and they're in love with someone else, there's nothing stopping them from making the move and leaving their relationship instead of waiting for that person to "save" them by trying to get with them. Generally, my advice is don't try to get with people in relationships.
Everything about his OP screamed that she essentially has no idea who he is. We are witnessing prime niceguys material in the making.
Of course the rejection rant will be had on this users GAF account so he doesn't catch the ban here.
Even the ring doesn't stop it in my case. I have had people she worked with, strangers, her friends and friends of her family all flirt with her or confess their feelings.
Some even know me and would comment to my face about how they wouldn't want to mess with me yet at some point my back will be turned and they are trying it.
A lot of men are just desperate, sad wankers who have no concept of boundaries or respect.
OP thinks his life is an anime.
"M-maybe senpai will notice me if I leave her chocolates~"
What a fucking troll.
But in case this is real, OP go for it. And make a second thread, thanks.
"M-maybe senpai will notice me if I leave her chocolates~"
What a fucking troll.
But in case this is real, OP go for it. And make a second thread, thanks.
I'm 13 pages late and I know I'm just echoing here, but imagine a hypothetical scenario where this girl is your girlfriend and some guy from work keeps knowingly trying hard to steal her away from you. How would you feel?
Don't be a dickhead.
Don't be a dickhead.
Nah, I didn't wait for a decline. What I meant by the bolded is that I told her how I felt before it was too late. It was poorly worded. And I 100% agree with you. Generally, don't go for people in relationships. It's not a good idea. I think a lot of what I was saying was lost due to the context of the thread. What OP wants to do is insane and unhealthy. Follow your feelings but also learn to read cues and get a sense of how organically a relationship is growing.
I've just been saying to follow your heart and lots of posters got mad at me because it felt like I was advocating for people to just go after whoever the hell they want and not care about relationships. That's not what I meant at all. I greatly benefited from being honest about my feelings and I wanted to share that experience. That's all.
I think there are two scenarios being discussed here:
1) If someone is in a relationship, and you have a connection with them, is it OK to try and move forward (or wait it out)?
2) Should you hit on a coworker who is giving zero signs of being available or interested?
Number 1 has a dozen or so IF/THAN scenarios but most of the time it's a firm no in my book. I do know people who have made it work. In those cases it started organically as a friendship and then turned into romance. Number 2 is a NO, always.
And for the record OP thinks he is asking about number 1, but it's really number 2.
1) If someone is in a relationship, and you have a connection with them, is it OK to try and move forward (or wait it out)?
2) Should you hit on a coworker who is giving zero signs of being available or interested?
Number 1 has a dozen or so IF/THAN scenarios but most of the time it's a firm no in my book. I do know people who have made it work. In those cases it started organically as a friendship and then turned into romance. Number 2 is a NO, always.
And for the record OP thinks he is asking about number 1, but it's really number 2.
Sounds like she barely knows who you are and you're just assuming the dude in the photo is her SO. Just ask her out, if she says no for any reason, at least you tried instead of being a creeper who anonymously leaves chocolate for people.
Whatever you do just make sure the chocolate has nuts as well as you never know if she is possibly allergic. Hopefully she is and when she has a bad reaction you can swoop in with an EpiPen and save the day. Surely then she will see what a catch you are and fall madly in love with you despite having a BF.
Yes. I am being sarcastic. Very, very sarcastic. Stop being a creep.
Yes. I am being sarcastic. Very, very sarcastic. Stop being a creep.
Sure.
A woman who's happy with her relationship will let you know real quick that she isn't looking for some new dick. She'll absolutely bring up her BF in convos.
So yes, I'm going to shoot my shot. I don't owe the BF anything.
A woman who's happy with her relationship will let you know real quick that she isn't looking for some new dick. She'll absolutely bring up her BF in convos.
So yes, I'm going to shoot my shot. I don't owe the BF anything.
This assumes the woman won't mind, especially if she knows you know.
No, don't be a piece of shit.
Actually reading the OP, you don't even know who that dude is. Just see if she would want to hang out instead of trying to leave her gifts and shit. If she says she has a boyfriend then back off and move on.
Actually reading the OP, you don't even know who that dude is. Just see if she would want to hang out instead of trying to leave her gifts and shit. If she says she has a boyfriend then back off and move on.
Speaking from experience, do not pursue a woman that has a significant other.
Even if you did, and she went along with it having a man, that says everything about her and her loyalty.
Do not do it. Hard pass. It's not worth it.
If the dude in the pic isn't her SO, by all means, go for it!
Edit: How old are you? Serious question. If you're younger, I can understand being shy, but just get to know her, find out if she has a bf organically, then tell her you're into her and ask her out.
It's not hard, and the roundabout approaches are awful.
Even if you did, and she went along with it having a man, that says everything about her and her loyalty.
Do not do it. Hard pass. It's not worth it.
If the dude in the pic isn't her SO, by all means, go for it!
Edit: How old are you? Serious question. If you're younger, I can understand being shy, but just get to know her, find out if she has a bf organically, then tell her you're into her and ask her out.
It's not hard, and the roundabout approaches are awful.
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Your OP comes off a bit creepy to me, don't go leaving chocolates on a random woman's desk that you have barely spoken to.
If you want to try and get to know her, go to a work social event and try and engage in a conversation with her. From that try and gauge if she has any interest in you, don't just go up to her and ask her out that's just really odd in a work environment.
If you want to try and get to know her, go to a work social event and try and engage in a conversation with her. From that try and gauge if she has any interest in you, don't just go up to her and ask her out that's just really odd in a work environment.
I have a buddy who keeps doing shit like this and it literally never, ever works out for him. One time the girl was down to cheat and they had a fling but he caught feelings and she cut him off. Like just don't. Shit
Just talk to her, see where she stands, if she says she's got a boyfriend. Then if she does, get out.
Make your intentions clear. TRUST ME, don't be a creep.
Make your intentions clear. TRUST ME, don't be a creep.
In such a case the best you can become is a good friend. Never try to seduce a woman who is already in a relationship, it will end poorly.
I honestly feel the good majority of guys cant do the friend thing when they are interested in more to begin with. It just becomes this fake friend thing with the hopes of one day getting to slide in there and its creepy.
Said lots of guys who have never been cheated on as well.
If you are that paranoid you got some self confidence issues.
No. My desires don't give me a license to trample on someone else's relationship, especially if it's a happy one.
If you know she has a BF and go for it anyway, it just means you're desperate and unattractive deep down where it counts.
Don't be such a loser.
Don't be such a loser.
The chocolate thing is the cringiest thing I've read on this site in quite some time and this site usually cringe overload. Dude, if you have to go on an internet forum to ask if you should ask out a girl who is already in a relationship; 1) She is clearly out of your league. 2) So is every other girl.
I always believe those people are one step from becoming an incel
I'm polyamorous. So yes, but if and only if their relationship is open.
My partner is married, and her husband is well aware of (and supportive of) our relationship.
My partner is married, and her husband is well aware of (and supportive of) our relationship.
The number of posts here asking OP to respect the woman's boundaries on behalf of her boyfriend is super depressing.
It's disrespectful to both the boyfriend and girlfriend.
And yeah, even if the girlfriend ultimately makes the decision to cheat you're still enabling that. You don't come away smelling like roses.
Eesh yeah that last one was a red flag.