In 2018, How Are People Still Using the R-Word?

[KimiNewt]

When you marry someone with a masters in disability studies things you considered no big deal suddenly become things you should think a little more carefully about. Honestly, I didn't use it all that often before and it has been easily replaced by "sucks" or a general gurgling noise followed by "blergh."

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I've just never heard it used to actually refer to a disabled person, and I wouldn't be surprised if many young people who use it have no idea that it also means that. Kinda like moron or stupid.

When you say "retarded" people know what it actually means.

 

[StopMakingSense]

It's hard to underscore enough how prevalent that word was as a kid growing up in the 80's and 90's. So much so that I had to make a pretty couscous effort to get rid of it like 10-15 years ago, when it started being viewed much more as a problematic thing to say.

 

[UltimateHigh]

It's always baffling when I hear a grown ass adult say shit like that but thankfully, I don't actually hear it that often anymore.

 

[CyrilFiggis]

I was thinking about this as I watched a re-run of the Comedy Central Roast of Jusin Bieber the other day. Natasha Leggaro made a joke about his fans being referred to as "Beliebers" instead of "retards" and it was the only point in the roast where there were crickets afterwards, and everyone looked awkward and there were maybe a few nervous chuckles. And this is at a Roast, where that kind of thing is expected.

Growing up back in the pre-Web days that got thrown around a lot as something people used as just another word for stupid, but it's definitely one of the more evil words that there is no place for, at least in my opinion. If I hear someone use it in public or at work I cringe and try to at least give them a disapproving glare to let them know that's not right.

 

[PuppetMinion]

Cuz not enough people call them out on it.

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Yeah, I have explained to coworkers when I heard it used years ago, how it was hurtful. They listened and I have not heard it since.

A lot of people don't realize it and are willing to change if you talk to them.

 

[Sanjuro]

I lot of people don't realize that ableist insults are even insults.

The shores of Massachusetts use it to indicate the slightest of mistakes. It actually makes it really hard to remove from my lexicon.

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That's wicked retarded, guy.

 

[Everybody Lies]

People have been using it for decades and old habits die hard.

 

[Ryouji Gunblade]

Perhaps we should use other words like sloppy or terrible to describe poor policies.

 

[Drksage]

 

[Mesoian]

That's wicked retarded, guy.

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Every day in every situation.
"Dude you can't be serious right now? That's wicked retaaadid"

Perhaps we should use other words like sloppy or terrible to describe poor policies.

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It's been interesting watching people replace the lexicon for "crazy" with "wild" in the past few months.

 

[talkingood]

Does anyone actually use "lame" to mean disabled though? I think that word has completely lost its original meaning so there's no problem using it.

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People have mostly moved away from referring to people as "retarded" to mean a person with developmental disabilities too, outside of the clinical setting (and even largely there too), but people still have a problem with it.

Really, just about every word you use to mean a stupid thing or person—including "dumb", "moron", "idiot", etc., were all words once used in a clinical setting to describe people with certain disabilities.

If you all are interested in this subject, you should look up the linguist Steven Pinker's writings on what he calls "the euphemism treadmill", essentially explaining how over time negative association causes certain words or terms to fall out of fashion in place of ever more elaborate constructions to avoid saying the same thing.

To a linguist, the phenomenon is familiar: the euphemism treadmill.

People invent new "polite" words to refer to emotionally laden or distasteful things, but the euphemism becomes tainted by association and the new one that must be found acquires its own negative connotations.

"Water closet" becomes "toilet" (originally a term for any body care, as in "toilet kit"), which becomes "bathroom," which becomes "rest room," which becomes "lavatory."

"Garbage collection" turns into "sanitation," which turns into "environmental services."

The euphemism treadmill shows that concepts, not words, are in charge. Give a concept a new name, and the name becomes colored by the concept; the concept does not become freshened by the name. (We will know we have achieved equality and mutual respect when names for minorities stay put.)

People learn a word by witnessing other people using it, so when they use a word, they provide a history of their reading and listening. Using the latest term for a minority often shows not sensitivity but subscribing to the right magazines or going to the right cocktail parties.

Shifts in terms have an unfortunate side effect. Many people who don't have a drop of malice or prejudice but happen to be older or distant from university, media and government spheres find themselves tainted as bigots for innocently using passe terms such as "Oriental" or "crippled."

Arbiters of the changing linguistic fashions must ask themselves whether this stigmatization is really what they set out to accomplish.

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[Vincent Alexander]

I call my friends out on "retarded" and "gay". Both are terrible and add jack shit to a conversation.

 

[Futureman]

I do call my idiot Democrat friends libtards all the time but otherwise don't really use retarded much.

I'm just kidding but it's pretty hopeless with many people. You ask them to stop calling things gay/retarded and they just say you are being PC. And PC is just the DEVIL to these people.

 

[Anthony Mooch]

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best show and best point.

 

[Anthony Mooch]

I call my friends out on "retarded" and "gay". Both are terrible and add jack shit to a conversation.

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I call my friends out on "retarded" and "gay". Both are terrible and add jack shit to a conversation.

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I havent heard anyone use Gay as stupid since 2013 but retard is used all the time

 

[ZeroX]

I'm not a user of the word but there's so many insults that have ableist roots it's hard to get mad about people saying this particular one.

 

[rstzkpf]

I imagine it's because a lot of people don't even consider it a bad thing to say?

 

[SpokkX]

Why couldnt you put the word retarded in your topic. That's.... just clickbait

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Haha yeah I thought this was about Microsoft Word

 

[Gyro Zeppeli]

Your criticism falls on deaf ears because outside of Era, there are tons of people who use it a lot.

 

[Deleted member 197]

I dont say retard because it upsets people, but frankly the distinction drawn between "retard" and other words that communicate the same thing like "stupid" "dumb" "idiot" "moron" etc is flimsy.

Insulting another person's mental capacity by comparing them to someone who is developmentally disabled is a core part of human communication. People have always done it and always will. We just accept words like stupid, dumb, and idiot because we're used to it.

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Retard has not the same implication of "stupid" "dumb" "idiot" "moron", the former is used for intellectual disability the later for somebody who is "not smart", or even a jerk.

 

[Deleted member 13101]

My own personal rule on not using a word, particularly when used to look down on someone or someone's behavior:

If I discover (or it is bluntly presented to me) that a word was used expressly to systemically denigrate, disadvantage, or disparage a group of people for a period of time, I will choose not to use it. This goes for the word that that is the subject of this thread, and others such as "cunt", for example.

In the instances where a maligned group may succeed in "taking back" or "taking ownership" of a word, unless they have expressly given permission to use such a word to identify themselves, I still will not use it. One word I can think of that was often said (terribly and stupidly) as a kid growing up, but was subsequently reclaimed and is now used more openly, is "queer".

Of course, this site has its own rules on the use of words that are considered derogatory, and you should PM an admin if you have any questions on the use of such words here.

 

[Deleted member 46429]

People don't get on their ass enough for ableist slurs
I see people get shit on for their use of Racist, Sexist slurs, but break out the ableism and no one bats an eye

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Most ableist slurs have an implication that people's behaviors, etc., can be explained in terms of intelligence and the language reflects that settlement.

If someone isn't sure how to l, say, navigate public transportation and sort of freezes up ("shuts down") we might ask 'how hard is it to figure out' or 'are you just [insert ableist slur here]' before accepting some people find this hard and need help. This is especially true since people default to a neurotypical point of view and take for granted how many daily tasks are easy for them which may not be for neurodiverse persons. Relatedly, intelligence is a concept with a problematic af history that I have neither the time nor credentials to get into.

At least, this is my guess as to why ableist language is generally tolerated.

 

[deftones r cool]

I've recently switched to saying, "That's moronic."

Still slips here and there.

Didn't realize 'lame' specifically referred to disabled people. This one seems like a bit of a stretch though.

 

[American Eskimo]

I dont say retard because it upsets people, but frankly the distinction drawn between "retard" and other words that communicate the same thing like "stupid" "dumb" "idiot" "moron" etc is flimsy.

Insulting another person's mental capacity by comparing them to someone who is developmentally disabled is a core part of human communication. People have always done it and always will. We just accept words like stupid, dumb, and idiot because we're used to it.

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I agree with this.

Using gay as an insult is bad because it implies that being gay is bad.

Calling someone mentally slow because they did something that is well, mentally slow, is accurate. No different than moron or idiot

I don't use it because people are sensitive about it, but the campaign against the word has always baffled me.

 

[Anthony Mooch]

I agree with this.

Using gay as an insult is bad because it implies that being gay is bad.

Calling someone mentally slow because they did something that is well, mentally slow, is accurate. No different than moron or idiot

I don't use it because people are sensitive about it, but the campaign against the word has always baffled me.

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I use it, but that was always the difference between using gay as a slur and retard as a slur

 

[Deleted member 4034]

I use it, but that was always the difference between using gay as a slur and retard as a slur

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Of course you do Mooch.

 

[RichardHawk]

It was hard for me to drop it out of my vocabulary. I usually just end up saying "that's fucking stupid" in place of it.

 

[Deleted member 20296]

Answered already. Honestly didn't think it be a thing. Now I'm just curious as to what people were expecting before they clicked to be this bothered.

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Something bad for black people
Something bad for women
Something bad for gays
Something bad for straight white men (jokes)
Cunt (I guess, if you're american, it's an Aussie greeting tho)

I could go on

I really couldn't care less about 'the bad words' mostly, but clickbait is just not cool and should be called out, that's why I'm here.

 

[Bobson Dugnutt]

It was hard for me to drop it out of my vocabulary. I usually just end up saying "that's fucking stupid" in place of it.

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stupid is an ableist slur. reported

 

[NotVeryFriendly]

The ree is literally just angry screaming frogs, not going to doubt people on the autism claims as its used with pepe and people use pepe for shit reasons. But I'm really curious how autism got involved into play with it.

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"Ree" is heavily associated with the term "autistic screeching" and is very commonly used to mock people with autism and the two are very often conflated.

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/autistic-screeching and https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/reeeeeee notes this conflation, it's listed under the Urban Dictionary article of autistic screeching notes this, and there are plenty of videos one can find online which demonstrates the conflation of the two (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZvgVDrt99w and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_S97kgzfHd00)

While the original usage of the term may have been due to frogs, the usage has most certainly evolved since and become used as a way to directly mock autistic individuals.

Your criticism falls on deaf ears because outside of Era, there are tons of people who use it a lot.

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Even here there are some very ableist attitudes shared and comments made.

 

[Deleted member 197]

I agree with this.

Using gay as an insult is bad because it implies that being gay is bad.

Calling someone mentally slow because they did something that is well, mentally slow, is accurate. No different than moron or idiot

I don't use it because people are sensitive about it, but the campaign against the word has always baffled me.

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Don't change the word to mentally slow, the word is retard(And variants), and the world is obviously not used in an accurate manner, people who have not an intellectual disability get called retards all the time, come on.

 

[American Eskimo]

Don't change the word to mentally slow, the word is retard(And variants), and the world is obviously not used in an accurate manner, people who have not an intellectual disability get called retards all the time, come on.

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What do you think about the following scenarios?

'Dude you can't hear that? Are you fucking deaf?'

'Dude you can't see that? Are you fucking blind? '

'Dude you didn't know that? Are you fucking retarded?'

They're all rude, and they're all using a disability to highlight an issue.

 

[Deleted member 197]

What do you think about the following scenarios?

'Dude you can't hear that? Are you fucking deaf?'

'Dude you can't see that? Are you fucking blind? '

'Dude you didn't know that? Are you fucking retarded?'

They're all rude, and they're all using a disability to highlight an issue.

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Nobody considers the word deaf or blind an insult, and those sentences would only be considered rude if the person actually happened to be deaf/blind, also, how does ignorance implies somebody has an intellectual disability? People who can't see are blind, people who can't hear are deaf, but people that don't know things aren't retarded, they are ignorant.

This is such a ridiculous equivalency, blind and deaf people refer to themselves as that, apart from trying to avoid sounding cold, we would use the word "deaf" and "blind" when talking to deaf and blind people, i highly doubt a lot of people would dare to use the word retard when there is a person with down syndrome for example.

 

[julia crawford]

I don't think it's much of an effort to try and always be considerate with your words. But clearly this is not a popular opinion.

 

[Deleted member 4034]

Something bad for black people
Something bad for women
Something bad for gays
Something bad for straight white men (jokes)
Cunt (I guess, if you're american, it's an Aussie greeting tho)

I could go on

I really couldn't care less about 'the bad words' mostly, but clickbait is just not cool and should be called out, that's why I'm here.

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Saying cunt is whatever, but clickbait is the real issue we should be focusing on here. Unintentional clickbait isn't cool. Thanks for setting me straight.

 

[Chadtwo]

People have mostly moved away from referring to people as "retarded" to mean a person with developmental disabilities too, outside of the clinical setting (and even largely there too), but people still have a problem with it.

Really, just about every word you use to mean a stupid thing or person—including "dumb", "moron", "idiot", etc., were all words once used in a clinical setting to describe people with certain disabilities.

If you all are interested in this subject, you should look up the linguist Steven Pinker's writings on what he calls "the euphemism treadmill", essentially explaining how over time negative association causes certain words or terms to fall out of fashion in place of ever more elaborate constructions to avoid saying the same thing.

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Yeah, see this is the thing. OP asks how people are still saying retarded in 2018 but in a weird way I only see it getting more prevalent as time goes on.

 

[99Luffy]

Im conflicted about retard. Language has evolved and ever since that black eyed peas song its been pretty much never used as a medical term or to describe someone with a disability. Its joined dumb, stupid etc. Terms that used to describe medical conditions but dont anymore.

 

[Mathieran]

I used to use retarded in my every day language to describe anything I thought was dumb. I feel bad about it now and I've eliminated it from my vocabulary.

Now if I could stop referring to groups of people as guys...

 

[LilWayneSuckz]

I've heard people use it at work, and it makes me cringe so damn hard. You sound like such an uneducated piece of trash when you throw that word around.

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Same.

 

[astro]

I call it out every time I hear it.

IRL every single time, without fail, the person will say "yeh, you're right."

Online?

Majority of the time I get told to stfu, stop being an sjw/snowflake/grow up, etc...

I wonder why that is...

 

[Raein]

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[Atraveller]

I though this was a thread about Microsoft Word.

 

[Zubz]

The fact that people are defending use of the word makes this by far one of the most eye-opening & shameful threads on ResetEra. I mean, people are quoting a Rick & Morty scene as a support for them using a slur here.

I call it out whenever I hear it. The word's done so much damage to people who have more than enough on their plate as it is. You can use different words to describe how much you dislike something.

 

[Brandon]

I never hear the word being used anymore but I've been watching old X-Play reviews and Morgan Webb uses it in this Madagascar review (2:00) and I was genuinely stunned by the use of it because of how rarely I hear it.

 

[One Eyed Willy]

I know a guy who has a daughter with downs and I never said the word around him (or in general), but often times other people would not knowing his child had downs. When I commented about this once he told me afterwards, "Dude it doesn't faze me, she is after all retarded. Its just a word and I don't let it affect me much like other words in language."

It was kind of shocking to hear but this dude was a 50 something with who raised his daughter to be a great person but his outlook on it all was that he hated the PC culture around it.

 

[FloatingDivider]

The euphemism treadmill is real. Until people address intelligence shaming in general there will never be a word that doesn't devolve into this. I have no ideas for solution but we should probably place less value on intelligence as a species.

 

[Amibguous Cad]

The euphemism treadmill is real. Until people address intelligence shaming in general there will never be a word that doesn't devolve into this. I have no ideas for solution but we should probably place less value on intelligence as a species.

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The thing is not running on a treadmill tends to have painful results.

 

[BowieZ]

I avoid using this word and so can and should others.

I do sometimes use the phrase "conservatards" though when I'm trying to be provocative to my right-leaning friends.

 

[unicornKnight]

Is it that bad if it's just used for different context?

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It was pretty much the same in my hometown we used to call each other (friends, not retarded people) using the greek word for retard. Then people from other places would visit and found it ridiculous...

 

[PJV3]

To be honest I do use it occasionally, but I've was never brought up using it in association with disabled people and still don't really, I'm not sure if it's more of an American usage.