In 2018, How Are People Still Using the R-Word?

Deleted member 4034 · Aug 9, 2018

For the record, using this word in a derogatory manner is not okay here. We allowed some leniency to foster discussion until now, but further defense of derogatory language will not be tolerated. This thread title has been updated for clarity.

"retarded" to describe things, ideas or people they think are dumb?

I remember when I started my current job in late 2014 and someone said it in one of our meetings, I was expecting an awkward correction, but nope, moved right along. Almost 4 years later, when we actually have HR, it's still a thing. It's not constant, but every once in a while at my job, I'll just hear the loudest "that's retarded". Sometimes it's manager, sometimes it's someone on the lower levels.

I work with "we think we're progressive" types, I mean, I already knew they weren't, but I figured by now outside of the racism, they could at least get this one thing right by now. Or did everyone not get the memo to ease off that?

It's not even that I'm offended, I'm just confused as to how this is still a thing in a professional environment.

Daysean · Aug 9, 2018

People don't get on their ass enough for ableist slurs
I see people get shit on for their use of Racist, Sexist slurs, but break out the ableism and no one bats an eye

Aegus · Aug 9, 2018

I hear the verb of the word everyday while I'm waiting for my train. They put it over the PA and everything.

Deleted member 11413 · Aug 9, 2018

Daysean said:
People don't get on their ass enough for ableist slurs
I see people get shit on for their use of Racist, Sexist slurs, but break out the ableism and no one bats an eye

People who are harmed most by the use of this particular slur cant defend themselves. They dont have much of a voice.

Psychotron · Aug 9, 2018

I've heard people use it at work, and it makes me cringe so damn hard. You sound like such an uneducated piece of trash when you throw that word around.

digitalrelic · Aug 9, 2018

What's with the clickbait bullshit thread title?

Deleted member 4034 · Aug 9, 2018

Daysean said:
People don't get on their ass enough for ableist slurs
I see people get shit on for their use of Racist, Sexist slurs, but break out the ableism and no one bats an eye

True. I've never actually complained about it. It's just weird to think that I would have to for such a simple thing. But I guess that's just an excuse.

BAD · Aug 9, 2018

I think it genuinely sucks to use words that put down an innocent group of people like that

ClickyCal' · Aug 9, 2018

It's just a trashy and lazy slur, like using gay as an adjective.

Deleted member 4034 · Aug 9, 2018

digitalrelic said:
What's with the clickbait bullshit thread title?

Clickbait wasn't intended, but bullshit? I don't see that. I just didn't want to put a slur in my title. Sorry.

Deleted member 16657 · Aug 9, 2018

Haha man, I remember in high school I was sitting with a group of acquaintances (most of them were nice but there was this one asshole) and one of them kept saying retarded over and over. I asked him if he could not use that word since I have an autistic brother it bothers me. He countered that he has a retarded aunt so he can use it.

What a defense Mark!

SliceSabre · Aug 9, 2018

Because not enough people find that word offensive and those that would (actually mentally disabled people) can't defend themselves or would really be out there calling for it to not be used in great numbers.

I don't use that word but that's probably because my aunt is mentally disabled and I didn't like using the word retarded. I would like to think if I didn't have a mentally disabled aunt I wouldn't still use that word but I dunno.

Deleted member 4494 · Aug 9, 2018

Being progressive doesn't necessarily mean that you're not going to use foul language. I see plenty of gendered insults on this site like cunt, twat, pussy, etc., but we tend not to police that language even though it's no doubt offensive to some, and when I see those words I don't immediately think "My! This person is not progressive!" Instead I generally think "Hmm, this person is mad about {X} and expressing it."

I don't think the word 'retard' is a good way to express yourself, but I don't rank it below or above the other words I listed, and I certainly don't question other people's attendance to their politics based on harsh language sans some special reserved words that clearly out a person.

I'm curious as to how many people here still say things like "That's retarded!" when playing a videogame or something. I know I do, and I know it's a poor way to express myself and wish it wasn't in my vocabulary, but my mind tends to find "acceptable" words to express my frustration and unfortunately that's one that it still goes to. I'd like to better myself on that. Having a friend with a mentally challenged brother has done wonders to make me more considerate, but it still slips out of me (and him, ironically) from time to time.

suedester · Aug 9, 2018

What's it being 2018 got anything to do with it? I'm sure you've probably noticed but we're not exactly a more progressive race in 2018. Quite the opposite.

Deleted member 4034 · Aug 9, 2018

Spoo said:
Being progressive doesn't necessarily mean that you're not going to use foul language. I see plenty of gendered insults on this site like cunt, twat, pussy, etc., but we tend not to police that language even though it's no doubt offensive to some, and when I see those words I don't immediately think "My! This person is not progressive!" Instead I generally think "Hmm, this person is mad about {X} and expressing it."

I don't think the word 'retard' is a good way to express yourself, but I don't rank it below or above the other words I listed, and I certainly don't question other people's attendance to their politics based on harsh language sans some special reserved words that clearly out a person.

I'm curious as to how many people here still say things like "That's retarded!" when playing a videogame or something. I know I do, and I know it's a poor way to express myself and wish it wasn't in my vocabulary, but my mind tends to find "acceptable" words to express my frustration and unfortunately that's one that it still goes to. I'd like to better myself on that. Having a friend with a mentally challenged brother has done wonders to make me more considerate, but it still slips out of me (and him, ironically) from time to time.

The progressive comment stemmed from other office issues I've made threads about and others I haven't mentioned.

https://www.resetera.com/threads/is-it-worth-it-to-call-out-your-co-workers’-coded-racism.51832/

suedester said:
What's it being 2018 got anything to do with it? I'm sure you've probably noticed but we're not exactly a more progressive race in 2018. Quite the opposite.

Would you be surprised to see a "colored only" sign in front of a bathroom in 2018?

Caped Baldy · Aug 9, 2018

You're right, it's weird. My entire childhood myself and others referred to things we didn't like as "gay" or "retarded", because no one corrected us. It felt like the second I graduated high school, everyone dropped "gay" as a slur without ever needing to have a conversation about it, but "retarded" was still occasionally used.

Now it's only said in my household when me and my wife are imitating our fellow idiot New Englanders. i.e. "KID, THAT'S FAHKIN RETAHDED!"

Just out of curiosity, is OP working in the New England area? I feel like that slur was/is way more prevalent to our region. Like it was custom made for our shitty accents.

Deleted member 4494 · Aug 9, 2018

Bobo Dakes said:
The progressive comment stemmed from other office issues I've made threads about and others I haven't mentioned.

https://www.resetera.com/threads/is-it-worth-it-to-call-out-your-co-workers’-coded-racism.51832/

Hmm, I think I misrepresented what you were saying with regards to the political angle. Sorry about that, though maybe my point is still cogent.

drog · Aug 9, 2018

Deleted member 4034 · Aug 9, 2018

Caped Baldy said:
You're right, it's weird. My entire childhood myself and others referred to things we didn't like as "gay" or "retarded", because no one corrected us. It felt like the second I graduated high school, everyone dropped "gay" as a slur without ever needing to have a conversation about it, but "retarded" was still occasionally used.

Now it's only said in my household when me and my wife are imitating our fellow idiot New Englanders. i.e. "KID, THAT'S FAHKIN RETAHDED!"

Just out of curiosity, is OP working in the New England area? I feel like that slur was/is way more prevalent to our region. Like it was custom made for our shitty accents.

I'm in Florida.

I haven't heard anyone call something "gay" like that in years, figured "retarded" would fade away like that as well.

Shoes · Aug 9, 2018

I feel like I hear/see it less than a few years ago. Unfortunately I still see people using autism and autistic as an insult online, so the process of people moving from one pejorative use of a word to the next carries on.

Cap G · Aug 9, 2018

I dont say retard because it upsets people, but frankly the distinction drawn between "retard" and other words that communicate the same thing like "stupid" "dumb" "idiot" "moron" etc is flimsy.

Insulting another person's mental capacity by comparing them to someone who is developmentally disabled is a core part of human communication. People have always done it and always will. We just accept words like stupid, dumb, and idiot because we're used to it.

BocoDragon · Aug 9, 2018

I think we actually regressed on this one. I feel like in the early 2010s, this word was on the way to stigmatization. I feel it came creeping back into people's vocabulary in the Trump era.

DOT_mjo · Aug 9, 2018

people still say nigger in 2018 so it isn't really surprising.

KINGOFSHIBUYA Ltd. · Aug 9, 2018

I actually only hear it in gaming communities. I don't go around them often aside from ResetEra, but I still occasionally see that on here.

Mivey · Aug 9, 2018

digitalrelic said:
What's with the clickbait bullshit thread title?

I think the OP wants the thread to be about more than one slur.
Like how Last Week Tonight has a segment called "How is this still a thing".

If not, then yeah the title should be "How are people still using this word?"

Ac30 · Aug 9, 2018

Daysean said:
People don't get on their ass enough for ableist slurs
I see people get shit on for their use of Racist, Sexist slurs, but break out the ableism and no one bats an eye

People throw around autistic as an insult on Reddit which, as an autistic person, I just find fucking weird. What are they even implying with that? That their social skills are below par? Lol

Kirblar · Aug 9, 2018

It sticks around largely because many of the synonyms you would use in place of that word originated from the same place of dual-usage. (the major exception being "Nimrod", created by Bugs Bunny's sarcasm.)

Daysean · Aug 9, 2018

DOT_mjo said:
people still say nigger in 2018 so it isn't really surprising.

That one is going to take a longer time if not never to deal with because that is just based on hate which is passed down.
"Retard" is just passed down as "slang" for certain shit like "stupid", I really feel that it can go away with enough time

Ac30 said:
People throw around autistic as an insult on Reddit which, as an autistic person, I just find fucking weird. What are they even implying with that? That their social skills are below par? Lol

As someone who gets hit with that a lot actually online and from "joking" friends, I always got the impression that its a matter of "why cant you understand social cues or be normal"

Lothar · Aug 9, 2018

I thought the thread was going to be making fun of people who say "In ___ year, people are still doing ____" because yeah, that's really incredibly annoying.

DOT_mjo · Aug 9, 2018

Daysean said:
That one is going to take a longer time if not never to deal with because that is just based on hate which is passed down.
"Retard" is just passed down as "slang" for certain shit like "stupid", I really feel that it can go away with enough time

True. It's sad to see how easily "retarded" is just thrown around mid-conversation. Won't lie, as a kid it was easy to call everything retarded but once you learn the power behind the word it feels wrong to grow up and still speak as if you have no common sense.

Interframe · Aug 9, 2018

lol from the thread title, I thought this thread was about how people are still using Microsoft Word. After reading what it's really about and the kinds of slurs people still use, I wish we actually were just talking about Microsoft Word.

Deleted member 4034 · Aug 9, 2018

DOT_mjo said:
people still say nigger in 2018 so it isn't really surprising.

Less so at work, but I did get "dance monkey" once along with "your hands are too black", so maybe "nigger" is right around the corner.

NewDonkStrong · Aug 9, 2018

Daysean said:
People don't get on their ass enough for ableist slurs
I see people get shit on for their use of Racist, Sexist slurs, but break out the ableism and no one bats an eye

It's because 'retarded' was extremely common slang in the late 90s/early 2000s. Just like 'gay' was used to described something bad. If you go to a bar on a weekend, you'll still hear plenty of 30-something assholes talking like that.

Youtube is normalizing even worse slurs as everyday slang, so it's not going to get any better.

GaijinDensetsu · Aug 9, 2018

it's pretty rare for anyone to get confronted by someone who will take offense to it because most people do not have a person with an intellectual disability in their lives. I admit I was guilty of using the word for a long time until I got a super strong side-eye about it from a co-worker with a kid with a disability. Learned my lesson pretty quick.

Robdraggoo · Aug 9, 2018

Probably because a lot of people are ignorant that it's a slur to begin with. I only was informed if this with the last 5-10 years maybe.

When i was young the word was never used to descibe someone mentally challenged or disabled. We used handicapped or challenged.

It was primarily used as another word for dumb or something that doesn't make sense. I seem to recall queer being used in the same way. But that was learned as slur much earlier in life.

Deleted member 4034 · Aug 9, 2018

Hell, wasn't the point of "frittata" to give people a close sounding alternative?

NoblesseOblige · Aug 9, 2018

I used to work at a school for kids with special needs. Even staff there would use the word on occasion to describe things they thought were stupid.

Jesse_and_the_rippers · Aug 9, 2018

Psychotron said:
I've heard people use it at work, and it makes me cringe so damn hard. You sound like such an uneducated piece of trash when you throw that word around.

.

Deleted member 4034 · Aug 9, 2018

NoblesseOblige said:
I used to work at a school for kids with special needs. Even staff there would use the word on occasion to describe things they thought were stupid.

Wow ... how recent was this?

HyGogg · Aug 9, 2018

Bobo Dakes said:
"retarded" to describe things, ideas or people they think are dumb?

Because that's literally what the word means. As long as being of lower intelligence is stigmatized, literally any word you use for it is going to become an insult. The word is not the point.

The word "retarded" was never a slur. It was created by psychiatric doctors to be a less stigmatized, and more descreptive alternative to the term "idiot." It was born of sensitivity and political correctness, and there's really nothing wrong with the substance of the term itself.

"Idiot," was likewise a medical term, created to replace the word "moron." You can go on and on with this. It doesn't matter what term you use. They tried "special" and people made that into an insult too. I really think it misses the point to focus on the word.

Saying "Donald Trump is stupid" is no less ableist than saying "Donald Trump is retarded." They're both deriding a person for having a lower mental ability for reasons that aren't their fault. The euphemism treadmill is a meaningless exercise that will not go anywhere.

By the way "retard/=retarded." Retard is a slur. It's like the difference between n***** and "negro."

Caped Baldy · Aug 9, 2018

Bobo Dakes said:
I'm in Florida.

I haven't heard anyone call something "gay" like that in years, figured "retarded" would fade away like that as well.

I wish I could say it was good to know that NE isn't the only region still bandying about this word, but it's not.

haha yeah, I shake my head when I think about all the ignorant shit I said when I was a kid. I myself only stopped using the word retarded after my sister scolded me 5-6 years ago. She has a son with a speech impediment, and I didn't know kids at school were using that word to bully him. I pretty much dropped using the word right there.

thecouncil · Aug 9, 2018

People that use that word are morons.

Nowise10 · Aug 9, 2018

Blame Eminem

Wackamole · Aug 9, 2018

Personally i wouldn't mind. I know what they mean. But i understand some people might take offense.
I stopped using it long ago but it still pops up in my head as one of the first things when i consider someone incredibly stupid, unfortunately.

Thurston Last · Aug 9, 2018

Daysean said:
People don't get on their ass enough for ableist slurs
I see people get shit on for their use of Racist, Sexist slurs, but break out the ableism and no one bats an eye

Agreed, it's lame.

Trace · Aug 9, 2018

Thurston Last said:
Agreed, it's lame.

You're crazy.

Powdered Egg · Aug 9, 2018

Cap G said:
I dont say retard because it upsets people, but frankly the distinction drawn between "retard" and other words that communicate the same thing like "stupid" "dumb" "idiot" "moron" etc is flimsy.

Insulting another person's mental capacity by comparing them to someone who is developmentally disabled is a core part of human communication. People have always done it and always will. We just accept words like stupid, dumb, and idiot because we're used to it.

Retard and all those insults were commonly used medical words. Retard gets singled out while all those words still flourish. I can't wait for retard to not be offensive so that it can join stupid, idiot, dumb and moron.

Deleted member 16365 · Aug 9, 2018

It takes a lot of time to remove words from vernacular unfortunately. I was watching a YouTube video on the new Spider-Man game recently and they used a clip from a Jack Black sketch from the MTV Movie awards where he referred to the costume designs as "not gay enough" and "just the right amount of gay." Not only was this acceptable, people thought it was funny to use "gay" as an insult.

That would never fly today, but I'm certain there are still people that use "gay" as a synonym for bad in their everyday speech.

Deleted member 6949 · Aug 9, 2018

I grew up in the 80's and 90's when that word was everywhere and I never said it, but now that I'm old like once a year it will pop out of my mouth randomly. Nobody ever corrects me, but I always immediately get embarrassed and excuse myself like I farted.

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