Do you get crushes when married?

[Deleted member 17402]

Not married but in an open relationship. Yes, I get crushes (I never use that word but in the context of this thread I'll say I do). I've acted on some of them but not all. I'm still using dating apps so it's not like I see potential people as "crushes," just more so people who I have a physical and intellectual attraction to who I wouldn't mind sleeping with.

lmao edited my post like a thousand times to clarify further

 

[nitewulf]

What's Era's view on polyamory?

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I have polyamorous friends, it's all good. ERA can be quite conservative when it comes to these things though, judging from a lot of these types of threads. I'm all about being mature adults and transparent about feelings and desires with partner(s). Cheating is when you hide the information as well as start acting without notifying your partner(s), and that's hurtful.

 

[Violence Jack]

Of course I do, so does my wife. We've even talked about who our celebrity crushes are. Just because you're married doesn't mean you stop finding other people attractive.

 

[Azzazel]

Crushes as in "Damn that girl is fine" ? hell yes.

Crushes as in "Damn i want to spend more time with that fine girl" ? hell no.

 

[bionic77]

No, I don't get crushes. I'm not a teenager.

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Same.

Horny is a better word I think for this situation.

 

[squeakywheel]

You don't change your likes and Hope's just by getting married. You just learn to say no.

 

[Secretofmateria]

Some times, but after some "self service" ill realize that any attraction is purely sexual and i would be less grattified in the long run without my girlfriend in my life

 

[Timeaisis]

I'll do you one better and say you can even love more than one person at a time. A marriage that works is not one without temptations or feelings for other people, it's one where you choose to be with one person over all the others.

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Yup. Human nature is human nature. Marriage is a choice you make to be with someone.

 

[Shadybiz]

I have polyamorous friends, it's all good. ERA can be quite conservative when it comes to these things though, judging from a lot of these types of threads. I'm all about being mature adults and transparent about feelings and desires with partner(s). Cheating is when you hide the information as well as start acting without notifying your partner(s), and that's hurtful.

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Yeah, I'm not into it, and neither is my wife. But, as long as everyone involved is aware of what's going on and are fine with it, who the hell am I to judge?

 

[RDreamer]

Sure, why not? Really depends on how far and what you mean with a crush. It can mean pretty small things. Or with some it can mean a massive infatuation. That's not good obviously, but small fun crushes are fine. Can't stop feelings.

What's Era's view on polyamory?

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Threads that go in that direction can easily be a shit-show.

 

[Pirateluigi]

What's Era's view on polyamory?

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Surprisingly regressive unfortunately. There are plenty of people cool about it, but threads where it comes up inevitably have people talking shit about the lifestyle.

 

[NoKisum]

ERA can be quite conservative when it comes to these things though, judging from a lot of these types of threads.

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Threads that go in that direction can easily be a shit-show.

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Guess I shouldn't have brought it up then.

 

[eraFROMAN]

Your brain does not know what "married" is in that regard, so crushes are natural and healthy, just don't act on them. Your hormones, etc are functioning properly.

 

[Hydeus]

Your brain does not know what "married" is in that regard, so crushes are natural and healthy, just don't act on them. Your hormones, etc are functioning properly.

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Just don't act on them ? Life is so simple.

 

[Alucrid]

yeah, it wouldn't be a healthy relationship otherwise. it would be weird to be denied a soda because you're married.

 

[Optional Objectives]

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[GYODX]

I haven't yet, after 7 years. I think I'm in minority though.
Also I generally crush very slowly.

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Yeah, this is me. Prior to meeting my wife I'd only had like 3 bona fide crushes.

 

[Fafalada]

Holy shit, I would watch a RomCom about this, this sounds hilarious but possibly rough for you.

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Ime There's nothing hilarious about a one-sided crush. Or one that you just can't act on.

People will get sexually attracted to other people and might even develop feelings for them.

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Crushes can(and do) develop before sexual attraction or even in complete absence of it. The latter can be perhaps hardest to deal with.

 

[CanUKlehead]

Crushes can(and do) develop before sexual attraction or even in complete absence of it. The latter can be perhaps hardest to deal with.

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The former definitely happened to me. Only found my previous crush to be physically attractive once I got to know her, months after we met.

 

[The Albatross]

Yes

 

[GSG]

Haven't had any crushes since I've been with my wife(even before we were married). I don't think it's a normal thing to have while you're married, it might signal some underlying issues in your marriage.

Saying this with the notion that crush =/= solely physical attraction.

 

[SolVanderlyn]

I read the title as "do you fuckers ever get married?"

I was like wow, that's unnecessarily aggressive