I hate this answer so much. Us black peoples aren't lucky to be seeing just how much of an asshole people are.
This is especially because most people have some racial bias, which just means most people are more of an asshole to us than others.
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Are you black?
- Thread starter eKongDiddy
- Start date
This is especially because most people have some racial bias, which just means most people are more of an asshole to us than others.
You have to be wary of softening of language like what some posters are doing in here to rationalize the behavior. It's rare that you're going to see someone write something flat out like "no blacks" or "I'm really racist" as opposed to variations of "I'm not attracted to Black people. I'm not being racist, it's just a preference" or "Sorry if this is offensive, but I'm only attracted to Asians. It's just a preference".
Also with apps where you are swiping pictures, it's "kind of dumb" to write "no blacks" in a profile when you are the one swiping yes or no.
You can prefer to date within your race, as well as prefer certain races.
What you can't (or rather shouldn't) do is proclaim that you will not even entertain dating outside your race, or dating outside of your preferred races.
That's just close minded and suggests malevolent prejudices.
What you can't (or rather shouldn't) do is proclaim that you will not even entertain dating outside your race, or dating outside of your preferred races.
That's just close minded and suggests malevolent prejudices.
I wish apps like Tinder would track how often people swipe yes or no based on race and also how long it takes them to swipe yes or no. I think the statistics would show that a lot of people just see dark skin and immediately say no.
Those people should be avoided too. Because they have a fetish, which is also racist lol
I believe there was a statistic that came out awhile back that said that black women and Asian men where the least likely to match with someone, and that people were most likely to match with someone of the same race.
How can you say that preference = exclusivity? Just because he prefers dark-skinned women doesn't mean he isn't open to dating lighter skinned women.
They are two different words for a reason.
Here you go
https://www.npr.org/2018/01/09/5753...ial-discrimination-plays-out-in-online-dating
In short:
Women tend to not like Asian men
Men tend to not like black women
White guys still in demand by everyone else
It's amazing that we still have people who think that results like that are because of simple preference and not a long history of racism and stereotypes.
This is an interesting situation.
I think overtly asking, "are you black?" Or specifically posting "no blacks" is explicitly racist. But, people not being generally attracted to certain races over others is natural. I think it really comes down to the person's ability to keep an open mind.
It's the difference between the phrases, "I'm usually not attracted to black guys/girls", and "Black guys/girls are unattractive."
It's weird approaching this topic as a black guy, because seeing the trans thread versus this one, and what lines people draw as racist vs transphobic.
I think overtly asking, "are you black?" Or specifically posting "no blacks" is explicitly racist. But, people not being generally attracted to certain races over others is natural. I think it really comes down to the person's ability to keep an open mind.
It's the difference between the phrases, "I'm usually not attracted to black guys/girls", and "Black guys/girls are unattractive."
It's weird approaching this topic as a black guy, because seeing the trans thread versus this one, and what lines people draw as racist vs transphobic.
Lol, someone got their feelings hurt.
Anyone who mentions exclusions in their dating profile is not worth talking to.
A lot of men miss the forest for the trees when it comes to writing a "good" dating profile. They also tend to have this cargo cult thinking, that, if they just find the right words, they can effectively con someone to find them interesting (momentarily).
All my dating profiles on various dumb platforms have - in my opinion - a good mix of earnestness about presenting myself, and a forthrightness about what I don't tolerate.
Lately, it's been adults without a picture of their face, when I've had my face out there since I was 19, and now am 35, and still have the vast majority of strangers contacting me doing so without a face. It's insulting to both me, and the contemporary state of gay life/culture.
...That these convictions of mine hasn't resulted in particularly many dates over the years is fine by me. I'd rather be true to my own thing, in this particular regard (it actually might be one of my strongest convictions).
Do you, and do it eloquently, and with conviction. This world is a mess, but its problems shouldn't stop you from doing your truth; whatever that entails.
PS: and just in case it needs signal-boosting, which I don't mind - black skin, itself, is beautiful. The person it happens to be attached to is another thing entirely.
Cheers/love
A lot of men miss the forest for the trees when it comes to writing a "good" dating profile. They also tend to have this cargo cult thinking, that, if they just find the right words, they can effectively con someone to find them interesting (momentarily).
All my dating profiles on various dumb platforms have - in my opinion - a good mix of earnestness about presenting myself, and a forthrightness about what I don't tolerate.
Lately, it's been adults without a picture of their face, when I've had my face out there since I was 19, and now am 35, and still have the vast majority of strangers contacting me doing so without a face. It's insulting to both me, and the contemporary state of gay life/culture.
...That these convictions of mine hasn't resulted in particularly many dates over the years is fine by me. I'd rather be true to my own thing, in this particular regard (it actually might be one of my strongest convictions).
Do you, and do it eloquently, and with conviction. This world is a mess, but its problems shouldn't stop you from doing your truth; whatever that entails.
PS: and just in case it needs signal-boosting, which I don't mind - black skin, itself, is beautiful. The person it happens to be attached to is another thing entirely.
Cheers/love
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They're individual preferences that have been shaped by society. They're not mutually exclusive ideas.
Lmao which is ironic because black and white people tell me I "act white". FOH
Oh no... Grindr is the worst. Gay community has a HUGE problem with racial bias/ racism.
Minorities are often fetishized :
Black : oooooo BBC?
Asian: Love Asian boys, so delicate and so fem looking. How big r u LOL?
Latino: Wassup papi thug?
Middle Eastern: Can you be gay isn't that's like against you're your religion?
I'm disgusted everyday by how much our community eats and marginalizes itself
Minorities are often fetishized :
Black : oooooo BBC?
Asian: Love Asian boys, so delicate and so fem looking. How big r u LOL?
Latino: Wassup papi thug?
Middle Eastern: Can you be gay isn't that's like against you're your religion?
I'm disgusted everyday by how much our community eats and marginalizes itself
I've seen that, but I'd also like to see statistics on how lo they take to decide.
This is not what anyone is saying. Saying you won't date a certain race is racist.
So what site does a black gaming nerd who likes comics and dabbles in anime go to.
Profile pictures usually answer any question about how you look, some people have preferences so I guess it's why you may be asked if there's no pic.
Profile pictures usually answer any question about how you look, some people have preferences so I guess it's why you may be asked if there's no pic.
#NotAllPeopleThatDontWannaDateBlackPeople
obviously sarcasm, but for good measure.
Racists going to be racist, and then proceed to get offended when you call them racist.
You shouldn't have to deal with that OP, and people should raise their kids to be less hateful. On the other hand I'm kind of gald racist people tend to out themselves on dating sites up front so nobody has to deal with it later
I'm super glad I grew up in a mixed family, and I've been blessed with partners from different countries, of different colors, and different experiences.
I have a neighbor who straight up told me he thinks it's disgusting that I'm in an interracial relationship.
You shouldn't have to deal with that OP, and people should raise their kids to be less hateful. On the other hand I'm kind of gald racist people tend to out themselves on dating sites up front so nobody has to deal with it later
I'm super glad I grew up in a mixed family, and I've been blessed with partners from different countries, of different colors, and different experiences.
I have a neighbor who straight up told me he thinks it's disgusting that I'm in an interracial relationship.
Exactly what i've always thought. It's just so dumb and doesn't make any sense.
That being said. I am glad that they advertise it so openly. Makes it easy to avoid them
I don't find White women attractive but I would never put "no whites" in a dating profile. You never know what sparks may strike or where .
This is pretty easy:
Everyone has a preference. However, when you say that you'll never date or are not attracted to "race X" you're essentially saying that "race X" is ugly and unattractive. That's about as racist as it gets.
In my case, I'm not all that crazy about East Asian women, but I would never say that I would NEVER date an East Asian woman, or assume that there's no attractive East Asian women out there. That's just crazy talk.
Everyone has a preference. However, when you say that you'll never date or are not attracted to "race X" you're essentially saying that "race X" is ugly and unattractive. That's about as racist as it gets.
In my case, I'm not all that crazy about East Asian women, but I would never say that I would NEVER date an East Asian woman, or assume that there's no attractive East Asian women out there. That's just crazy talk.
You whistling so hard that the glass next door is breaking. Fuck outta here with this bullshit. Just say what you really want to say.
Smh, naturally all black people act the same way, duh.
I still remember when I was in the dating pool, on apps like tinder I used to always get responses like: "Oh you're cute for a black guy but no thanks" or like "sorry, no black guys". People have preferences but still hilarious to see in profiles or coming from people that I'd matched w/.
Yup Grindr is racist as hell...anecdotally, I have never talked with someone on there who wasn't black, who didn't have some sort of "Mandingo" fantasy.
That sucks dude.
I feel like on dating sites people forget that they are interacting with actual people with feelings.
I feel really bad for black women on there. Stereotypes have sort of created a very unfair playing field for them. It's sort of upsetting to hear a black coworker of mine tell me he won't date black women, especially after hearing some stories about online dating from my girlfriend, who is black.
Hope you find someone who isn't creepy and isn't fixated solely on race.
I feel like on dating sites people forget that they are interacting with actual people with feelings.
I feel really bad for black women on there. Stereotypes have sort of created a very unfair playing field for them. It's sort of upsetting to hear a black coworker of mine tell me he won't date black women, especially after hearing some stories about online dating from my girlfriend, who is black.
Hope you find someone who isn't creepy and isn't fixated solely on race.
Its them trying to say Black people, no one in popular media refers to any other race as thugs.
I have experienced the opposite
People assume Im black. When I tell them Im asian, I get ghosted
People assume Im black. When I tell them Im asian, I get ghosted
Ever since I started kinda partaking in the night scene in Houston again, it seems like (white) women either a) absolutely do not date niggas, or b) exclusively date us for reasons that make me uncomfortable.
No middle ground lol and it's not much better with other races either tbh.
No middle ground lol and it's not much better with other races either tbh.
I'm not gonna look for it, but this study exists and has exactly the results you'd think it would lol
Racial preferences are just racism, physical phenotypes vary too much for someone to definitively say "I'm not into blacks/asians/latinos" without leaning into stereotypes, physical and social. There's a reason black women and asian men get the lowest response rates, and it's not due to any objective ugliness.
Yeah....I "kinda" agree with this. Dated a southern(FL) black woman for a couple months and she really oozed that southern black culture. Great gal and personality, but her culture viewed white people differently from me (obviously we know why).
It was a bit stressful cuz we'd be on dates and she'd constantly comment on how white people would lowkey treat her, and use the term "crackers". We split last month, and it really reveals to you how willing you are to blend cultures via dating relationships. I say this as a (dark) black new yorker with Jamaican parents.
No I'm Kanye.
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Racists and anyone justifying this as "a preference of cultures and attraction" is a racist who believes that all black people are a monolith.
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Racists and anyone justifying this as "a preference of cultures and attraction" is a racist who believes that all black people are a monolith.