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Man, Jurassic world: fallen Kingdom is fucking stupid

GraveRobberX

GraveRobberX

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,056
Arcade55 said:
Ya'll take your dinosaur thrillers very seriously I see.

I thought it was a pretty fun movie to watch. I wasn't looking for Schindler's List here haha.
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To me it was suppose to be a turn off your brain and just enjoy
Yet some of the shit they pulled in this movie ruins the suspension of disbelief

Just look at that gif of Iwn incapacitated by a dart doing his best three stooges impression while molten hot lava approaches him
This isn't suppose to be slapstick shit

I literally had my brain turn back on and go really?, you turned me off god this shit

Holy fuck does the movie go overboard

I love the lava consuming the island and a brontosaurus have such emotion of hey you guys couldn't wait for me, woe is me, music emotions, looking at the edge of the pier, awaiting death like a martyr

There's shutting your brain off and going along god the ride, then there's this abomination where your brain's brain has to trigger Article 5 of "Why the fuck are we watching this"


Jurassic World 3 literally be this or I Riot!:
vOH0pDvl.jpg
 
Tetra-Grammaton-Cleric

Tetra-Grammaton-Cleric

user requested ban
Banned
Oct 28, 2017
8,958
Spoiler Alert

Outside of the opening which I liked with the DNA retrieval, the film was sooooo fucking bad.

I knew we were fucked the moment they retconned Hammond having some secret, never before mentioned partner. The girl being a clone was so painfully obvious and worse, her justification for letting out dinosaurs that are invariably going to kill lots of people was beyond stupid.

Also, kudos for wasting Jeff Goldblum. I would have preferred listening to his Ian Malcolm lecture for two hours.
 
lacer

lacer

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
6,693
PhilosopherDirtBike said:
Also not enough talk in this thread about Jeff Goldblum's completely pointless cameo
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i loved that both he and James Cromwell were like "sure, i'll be in this pile of shit, but only if i don't have to move." Cromwell didn't even get out of bed, bless his heart. and most of Goldblum's scene is in the trailer, which isn't even an exaggeration since the whole thing is like a minute and a half, tops
 
Pilgrimzero

Pilgrimzero

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
8,129
JW was trash. JW2 was super trash. I'm expecting JW3 to be about Moon Dino's assaulting earth to free their kin.

Or possible a postman apoc zombie like film where the last dregs of humanity lead by Pratt struggle survive in a Dino infested world
 
Heshinsi

Heshinsi

Member
Oct 25, 2017
16,110
The only thing that would save this franchise for me, is if Universal revealed that the Jurassic Park/World universe is one and the same with the Fast & Furious universe. Next movie opens with Familia sent in to capture the run away dinosaurs, only for things to escalate when Kurt Russell briefs them that foreign countries now have Dino soldiers.

I will pay whatever they ask to see a scene where the Rock and Vin combo slam a raptor. Oh and the movie has to have the Rock cut down a large predator with a Gatling type gun.
 

StevieP

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,301
Pilgrimzero said:
JW was trash. JW2 was super trash. I'm expecting JW3 to be about Moon Dino's assaulting earth to free their kin.

Or possible a postman apoc zombie like film where the last dregs of humanity lead by Pratt struggle survive in a Dino infested world
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Nah, they're doing dinos in vegas for 3. Which could be cool to watch even if it is a trainwreck.
 
Antrax

Antrax

Member
Oct 25, 2017
13,339
Zedelima said:
First Jurassic world was stupid as hell too.

Not a "stupid but fun", just stupid
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FK is on another level. For example, JW at least sets up that Masrani has been learning to pilot and is cocky, so that doesn't come out of nowhere later.

FK doesn't even bother. Why did Hammond have a secret partner? Why does the girl need to be a clone? What facilities are in place to save the dinosaurs if they even got off the island honestly? Why does the Indoraptor use a laser pointer on a gun? Why do the illegal auction in the basement of the house owned by the one guy you're defrauding instead of literally anywhere else? What's the plan for the dinosaurs about to eat there way through that suburb?

JW is the kind of dumb movie that's like "hey sometimes we all need a little comfort food. Easy to digest. Come kill a couple hours on an easy flick." FK seems to actively think their audience is too dumb to breathe and thinks spending time on connective dialogue or logic would be wasted on the troglodyte crowd the writers hate. It felt maliciously bad in a way that JW didn't.
 
Hampig

Hampig

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,704
I thought it was fun. Definitely not the best movie I've watched in the last year, but I was entertained.
 
PIMPBYBLUD

PIMPBYBLUD

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,625
I started watching this on HBO yesterday. Watched about 1/3rd of the movie, fell asleep and have no interest to go back and watch it. I loved Jurassic World, this sequel is garbage.
 
PIMPBYBLUD

PIMPBYBLUD

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,625
Slayven said:
the premise starts with the island full of dinosaurs that kill people is going to blow up. Why fuck with a problem that is going to fix itself and the only thing you have to do is kill time?
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This all the way....but you know we need to save everything. The story premise was absolutely horrible.
 
OP
OP
Heromanz

Heromanz

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
20,202
Tetra-Grammaton-Cleric said:
Spoiler Alert

Outside of the opening which I liked with the DNA retrieval, the film was sooooo fucking bad.

I knew we were fucked the moment they retconned Hammond having some secret, never before mentioned partner. The girl being a clone was so painfully obvious and worse, her justification for letting out dinosaurs that are invariably going to kill lots of people was beyond stupid.

Also, kudos for wasting Jeff Goldblum. I would have preferred listening to his Ian Malcolm lecture for two hours.
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What people? There's only like 20 dinosaur with most of them being herbivores. Are they making a big deal about it but it really not
 
OP
OP
Heromanz

Heromanz

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
20,202
Tetra-Grammaton-Cleric said:
The film very clearly alludes to people being hunted by the escaped dinosaurs.

The little idiot clone basically killed people when she pressed the button to let them escape.
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I guess but the movie tries to make it a much bigger deal then it really is . Like they try to make it seem like it's a game-changing event like a game there's like 20 dinosaurs it not that many
 
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Schreckweg 5000

Schreckweg 5000

Member
Jan 10, 2018
6,327
Heromanz said:
I guess but the movie tries to make it a much bigger deal then it really is . Like maybe try to make it seem like it's a game-changing event.
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How many times do you have to see the evidence? How many times must the point be made? We're causing our own extinction! Too many red lines have been crossed! And our home has, in fundamental ways, been polluted by avarice and political megalomania. Genetic power has now been unleashed. And of course, that's gonna be catastrophic. This change was inevitable from the moment we brought the first dinosaur back from extinction. We convince ourselves that sudden change is something that happens outside of the normal order of things, like a car crash, or that it's beyond our control, like a fatal illness. We don't conceive of sudden, radical, irrational change as woven into the very fabric of existence. Yet I can assure you, it most assuredly is. And it's happening now. Humans and dinosaurs are now gonna be forced to coexist. These creatures were here before us. And if we're not careful, they're gonna be here after. We're gonna have to adjust to new threats that we can't imagine. We've entered a new era. Welcome to Jurassic World.


They even spelled it out.
 
GenTask

GenTask

Member
Nov 15, 2017
2,674
I still kind of want to see it (rent not buy), despite the poor reviews. I don't see it on streaming yet though so my options are renting on Prime or checking Red Box.
 
honavery

honavery

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,371
Phoenix, AZ
Watched it on a plane recently, and I thought it was pretty dumb.
I do give them a little bit of credit for trying something different, but I sort of picture their brain storming session like:
Writer 1: I don't know, how about a....dinosaur auction?
Writer 2: Good enough, let's make it happen!
 
Schreckweg 5000

Schreckweg 5000

Member
Jan 10, 2018
6,327
They tried to pull a Planet of the Apes with the Fallen Kingdom ending. There it made sense, because 1. they are intelligent mammals, capable of adapting ; 2. a virus was killing humanity.

The dinosaurs gonna drop dead as soon as the first winter hits.
 
spookyduzt

spookyduzt

Drive-In Mutant
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
10,916
Heromanz said:
I guess but the movie tries to make it a much bigger deal then it really is . Like maybe try to make it seem like it's a game-changing event like a game there's like 20 dinosaurs it not that many
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Yeah, I think they'd already sold and shipped off more dinos than the girl released at the end.
 
Grouch Douglass

Grouch Douglass

Banned
Nov 9, 2017
3,777
Me and my gf went to see this in the theater when it came out, and was trying to remember the plot points the other day. We basically forgot the entire movie b/c it was so unremarkable. We both liked the first JW a lot too.
 
Fluffhead14

Fluffhead14

Member
Oct 27, 2017
711
i don't know, there's something endearing about the sheer ridiculousness of these past 2 movies that makes them more... fun(?).. than the TLW/JP3. those movies just bored me, visually especially.

it's almost like they've gone the Fast 5 route for these movies. i'm all in, let's go crazy at this point.
 
SnatcherHunter

SnatcherHunter

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
13,533
I likeeeeed it????
Saw it a 2nd time.....
It went a lot of slower than I originally thought...

Yeah.. it wasn't their best for sure.
 
GenTask

GenTask

Member
Nov 15, 2017
2,674
Sobriquet said:
It's on HBO Go if you have that
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Scratch that, got the trial for HBO to watch it yesterday on the free.

Overall, 'ok' movie like the first Jurassic World. Not super impressed by the story, but the CGI dinos were fun to watch and look almost as good as animatronics and any of the CGI in the first Jurassic films. I could see these new movies probably being more popular for a younger audience, as an Adult the entertaining part for me now is just seeing dinos on screen and humans getting annihilated by dinos.

Now onto canon stuff. I'm surprised the plan by Claire's group didn't just call for moving the dinosaurs back to Isla Sorna from the second Jurassic film. Also, the ending of JW2 is pretty much what I thought would happen all along in this series is that they wouldn't be able to contain living dinosaurs forever to an island chain. Even in Lost World they show the flying types migrating off of Isla Sorna. Also I don't think many of these dinosaurs would survive or subsist long off the islands anyways.
 
RetroMG

RetroMG

Community Resettler
Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
6,760
I saw a review before I saw it that said, "This movie should be called, 'Stupid People Dying in Dumb Ways.'"

Saw the movie, totally accurate.
 
Akai_XIII

Akai_XIII

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,170
The dinosaurs are out now!

Ok, we should probably do something about these massive predators killing people.

Nah, New World!

Oh, ok.

Most of the dinosaurs released were singular too - there wasn't two of each species, so it's not like they could repopulate the earth so they'd die out again pretty soon anyway.

Why did they want dinosaurs they could control to kill anyway? Aren't there soldiers/drones for that?
 
NutterB

NutterB

Member
Oct 27, 2017
388
The movie is so bad, that though I had watched it last year, I could not recall its plot, until I read its synopsis again.
 
WrenchNinja

WrenchNinja

Member
Oct 25, 2017
18,762
Canada
I was watching this again in the background since it was on tv and I'm still fucking blown away at how cheap these dinosaurs are. Only $10 million for a fucking Ankylosaurus. It's absurd.
 
I KILL PXLS

I KILL PXLS

Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,613
This movie is pretty damn dumb. The ending is so absurd though that I basically have to see the next one just to see where it goes.
 
FantasticMrFoxdie

FantasticMrFoxdie

Banned
Oct 26, 2017
16,409
Mushroom Kingdom
Yeah it was just laughable. The worst of the series tbh

Auction was fucking stupid. Entire story was fucking stupid.
/sigh

I guess the main takeaway is this hopefully sets up the entire franchise for a reboot? Dinos will roam the Earth so maybe they can turn it into a good movie? lolol
 
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