Wow - My Era folks, how many friends do you honestly have?

[Golding]

I am in my 30s... and man.. why did no one tell me how hard it would be to make friends in your 30s?
Living home at home wife/ 2 kids but real no real friends. Most of my past friends have moved out of state while others have fallen out.

Hangout mostly come from people on my wife's side...none from me.. I never actually thought of it until recently. I worked from home most days and even before the pandemic still really had no friends..to be honest I figured I was older and never really cared for it.

My question is how many friends do you guys have?
What suggestions would you give someone in their 30s on the best way to get to know people and make friends ?

 

[Transistor]

Like, in person friends? Maybe like two.

 

[Shiloh]

"Best Friends" - 2 - People who know everything about me
"Close Friends" - 3 - I could crash at their place if needed for a night
"Bar friends" - oh god...

 

[Min]

They're all on the discords.

edit: oh, I thought this was people I met from Era.

IRL I have a bunch too. I've been chilling on a vacay with two of them the last few weeks, and got to see a few more during my stay. I moved away a few years ago, and also covid limited interactions, so it's nice to finally see everyone again. A lot of my other friends have spread out after college.

I'd say there are probably 20+ I could rely on.

 

[EssBeeVee]

0 irl. I try my best to be socially unavailable

 

[Scarface]

Like 2-3 lol

Mostly by choice tho. I enjoy me time.

 

[Tokyo_Funk]

Honestly less than 10.

Only about 3 make the effort to contact me.

 

[Kain-Nosgoth]

2 best friends IRL, that i rarely see cause they both got family of their now... We still do thankfully, like once every month or 2 months! We don't have a lot in comon, but we're still friend cause we've been like than since early childhood! I know i can count on them

Never been able to make any other friends sadly (or find a girlfriend), i know no one that share my interests and hobbies outside internet

 

[Jogi]

2-3 and a bunch of acquaintances. Closest to friends I met through gaming though and we talk daily via discord.

 

[ned_ballad]

Friends? In real life?

lol

Does my sister count?

 

[Brandson]

Zero friends here. If I spent my time making friends, that's time I could have spent with my family, so it's not going to happen. It's a little sad, if only because I have a killer a/v setup and no one outside my wife and kids get to enjoy it. Once my kids are older, maybe they'll have friends come over.

 

[RedMercury]

There are 5 people I'm close with who I've been friends with for over 20 years that I still talk to/hang out with, everyone beyond that is either family or acquaintances.

 

[Sestrugen]

2 people I consider friends, the rest are acquaintances

 

[C.Mongler]

Only two really good friends and then probably like five-ish more good friends who come in and out of my life at certain periods but aren't there all the time.

 

[rokkerkory]

Dont need many irl

 

[Jakenbakin]

Like 6. I haven't seen them in over a year of course but still.

 

[Zukuu]

2 close friends
around another 10 friends
the rest are more of friendly acquaintances

 

[nitewulf]

You have to make an effort. Can't keep making excuses because of kids etc. Seek out a few people from the current crop that have some free time, invite them out for drinks, form a group, they'll invite other people, it'll grow organically and you'll meet others that you'll become even closer friends with - depending on common interests. This takes time and effort. You must be prepared to make that investment.
I have about 9 close friends (plus their partners) and many more acquaintances. Have 4 friends from childhood I don't keep in touch with much but we always come through for each other when the time comes. Majority of my current close friends are from my 30's.

 

[Evoker]

I have 4-5 life long friends. Don't hang out with them all the time. I hang out mostly with my family and my brothers since we are all around the same age and into similar things.

 

[amusix]

2 or 3. When there's a day that my wife and I have friends over to play games, the group is about 7 or 8 people total.

There's only one person that I really wish I'd kept a friendship up on...he was the best man at my wedding, but it's a connection that I just let lapse, and now I haven't talked to him in years.

 

[Couleurs]

Close enough to know too much about me: 2
Close enough that I wouldn't tell them EVERYTHING, but I'd try to coordinate vacations together: 4
Work/bar/game friends that I'd hang out with and get destroyed, but not really friend friends: probably 10-ish

 

[Dyle]

I'd pretty much count 0 but by other people's metrics maybe 5, as in I see or talk to them maybe once or twice per year.

 

[Netherscourge]

Does family count?

If not, then like 2. But I'm not even sure about them anymore.

 

[____]

I'm closing in on 2-3, down from many many many many more.

Hoping for 0-1 in due time.

Edit: Oh you actually want friends. I'm actively removing people from my life.

 

[B.K.]

Zero.

 

[onlyTangerine]

Well, my last IRL friend died late in an accident late last year, so the number is currently sitting at 0.

I still chat with former coworkers and online friends occasionally, but I haven't built a strong new friendship in a long while. I miss how much easier that whole process was during school.

 

[Cheesebu]

I would say 12ish. All but two are from my wild teenage days and they live 6 hours away in SF, so I don't see them that much, like 3 times a year.

My best friend from high school died last year so I have become closer with those friends in SF, we are better about staying in touch.

I'm also back in touch with 25ish other people because of that tragedy, but I wouldn't call them all friends again. I see their lives through Instagram but I'd be shocked if we ever hung out again, despite some of them being pretty close in HS.

 

[BadWolf]

IRL?

Zero.

 

[Legend of Aims]

Very close friends : 2
General friends: 5

 

[The Unsent]

53,658

All of Era

Spoiler

lol

 

[studyguy]

Early 30's and I've somehow stumbled upon more really close friends than I had almost at any point in my life since high school. Having a lot of hobbies helps, but genuinely had an incredible amount of support in the past few years despite the pandemic. Feel super blessed.

 

[Swiggins]

I'd say about 8 or so total, of those maybe 5 or so are 'good friends' and of those only 2 are "best friends".

It's not a lot, but I'm happy.

 

[Melpomene]

One or two, really. I don't have any "close" in-person friends, though. Never have been very good at opening up to people, and I'm not really the "make a friend just to have someone to do things with" sort of person, so the number's not really on the incline. Sometimes I feel fine about it, sometimes I don't.

 

[Deleted member 3010]

At least five real doods, all from kindergarden and high school eras.

Today I can't imagine making a friend like them ever. It's the kind of relationship you can't reproduce at that point in life (I'm 32) imo.

 

[Soliloquy of a Dogge]

Themis

 

[bombermouse]

Recently, bordering on 0. Maybe 2.

 

[Illuvatar]

About 8 good friends and another handful of acquaintances. Only two of out of eight
live close by unfortunately. The rest I keep in contact with on WhatsApp and movie nights online about once a month.

 

[Neoxon]

Honestly, maybe two who I keep in constant contact with.

 

[PaulloDEC]

I have about 9 really good friends who I see in person regularly.

 

[GK86]

Two, maybe? One is my best friend.

 

[echoshifting]

Hmm 7 or 8. Thats enough. I do wish I had more friends i could unload tough stuff to but that is a very difficult place to reach in a friendship

I had more "couples friends" but my ex got most of them in the divorce ;p

I have two friends who have known each other their entire lives, and I wish I had a relationship with someone like that sometimes. It is like they can read each other's minds sometimes. But I'm grateful for what I have, I love my friends.

 

[Blader]

I have a couple close friends, then a bunch of friends I hang out with in group settings but not necessarily 1 on 1. I'm 32 and these are friends I made all throughout my 20s. If I were to move to a different city I'd be completely fucked.

 

[thesoapster]

I have maybe two close friends. I have about 10 others that are decent who I'll hang with. Most everyone else is a friend or acquaintance based on circumstance.

Edit: single and 32

 

[Randolph Freelander]

Like 0?

I moved to my current locale 11 years ago. For damn sure haven't tried to make any friends outside of work (and those are just acquaintances, really). So then there's the friends from back home, friends from since we were children or at least teens, but it's not like I've seen them that often over the past few years, and I really don't want to see them any more often.

So, yeah, 0. And that works for me.

 

[Darren Lamb]

As someone who recently has put together a wedding guest list, not that many!

Like 8 of my own, and I haven't seen a few of them in ages

 

[MrToughPants]

Real friend 1 but lives half way across the country.

Work friends maybe 1.

I have a wife, two kids, house, work full time, and workout all the time so I don't have time for friends.

 

[DarkChronic]

Best friends (talk to almost daily) - 5
Work friends - 3 very close work friends

and then about, 5-10 acquaintances that i see/talk to every few weeks/months.

 

[Baphomet]

Real true friends that I can count on when things get tough: maybe 4

The rest are acquaintances that are fun to talk to at times, but I know better than to depend on them, so I don't really care about them much.

 

[echoshifting]

I have a couple close friends, then a bunch of friends I hang out with in group settings but not necessarily 1 on 1. I'm 32 and these are friends I made all throughout my 20s. If I were to move to a different city I'd be completely fucked.

Click to shrink...

Yeah tbh every time I think about moving to my dream city, I remember how fucking hard it was to make friends as an adult and how it only seems to get harder. This is a large part of why I will likely stay here despite being terrified of where this country seems to be headed.

 

[Z-Beat]

That I see regularly? 3. The circle of regulars was higher pre covid :/