This thread reminds me of this:
The Other Door Problems
Creative Director: "Yes, we definitely need doors in this game."
Project Manager: "I'll put time on the schedule for people to make doors."
Designer: "I wrote a doc explaining what we need doors to do."
Concept Artist: "I made some gorgeous paintings of doors."
Art Director: "This third painting is exactly the style of doors we need."
Environment Artist: "I took this painting of a door and made it into an object in the game."
Animator: "I made the door open and close."
Sound Designer: "I made the sounds the door creates when it opens and closes."
Audio Engineer: "The sound of the door opening and closing will change based on where the player is and what direction they are facing."
Composer: "I created a theme song for the door."
FX Artist: "I added some cool sparks to the door when it opens."
Writer: "When the door opens, the player will say, 'Hey look! The door opened!' "
Lighter: "There is a bright red light over the door when it's locked, and a green one when it's opened."
Legal: "The environment artist put a Starbucks logo on the door. You need to remove that if you don't want to be sued."
Character Artist: "I don't really care about this door until it can start wearing hats."
Gameplay Programmer: "This door asset now opens and closes based on proximity to the player. It can also be locked and unlocked through script."
AI Programmer: "Enemies and allies now know if a door is there and whether they can go through it."
Network Programmer: "Do all the players need to see the door open at the same time?"
Release Engineer: "You need to get your doors in by 3pm if you want them on the disk."
Core Engine Programmer: "I have optimized the code to allow up to 1024 doors in the game."
Tools Programmer: "I made it even easier for you to place doors."
Level Designer: "I put the door in my level and locked it. After an event, I unlocked it."
UI Designer: "There's now an objective marker on the door, and it has its own icon on the map."
Combat Designer: "Enemies will spawn behind doors, and lay cover fire as their allies enter the room. Unless the player is looking inside the door in which case they will spawn behind a different door."
Systems Designer: "A level 4 player earns 148xp for opening this door at the cost of 3 gold."
Monetization Designer: "We could charge the player $.99 to open the door now, or wait 24 hours for it to open automatically."
QA Tester: "I walked to the door. I ran to the door. I jumped at the door. I stood in the doorway until it closed. I saved and reloaded and walked to the door. I died and reloaded then walked to the door. I threw grenades at the door."
UX / Usability Researcher: "I found some people on Craigslist to go through the door so we could see what problems crop up."
Localization: "Door. Puerta. Porta. Porte. Tür. Dør. Deur. Drzwi. Drws. 문"
Producer: "Do we need to give everyone those doors or can we save them for a pre-order bonus?"
Publisher: "Those doors are really going to help this game stand out during the fall line-up."
CEO: "I want you all to know how much I appreciate the time and effort put into making those doors."
PR: "To all our fans, you're going to go crazy over our next reveal #gamedev #doors #nextgen #retweet"
Community Manager: "I let the fans know that their concerns about doors will be addressed in the upcoming patch."
Customer Support: "A player contacted us, confused about doors. I gave them detailed instructions on how to use them."
Player: "I totally didn't even notice a door there."
Full article:
http://www.lizengland.com/blog/2014/04/the-door-problem/