Every match is a win or loss, if you don't care if you lose and just enjoy moving your character around a map you don't have to be in a competitive game to do that
You're trying to apply a binary result to your worth as a competitor, when there's much more to it than that.
A match is more than just who wins or loses, it's about how players react and try to outplay each other. So many things can happen in a game that will make you have to engage in what your opponent is doing. This is what makes playing competitively interesting and fun,
not the result. There are millions of things you can be the best at, but if you don't care for those things then there is no point.
A person with a competitive mindset can have fun even with losing. This is why so many people go to tournaments despite literally half of them going 0-2 by design. They play to test the limits of their abilities and see how they stack up. If they get destroyed, then they'll know that they have a lot to learn in order to improve. If they have close games and still lose, then at least the games they played gave them a rush of adrenaline and pushed them to their limits, and they can look back at their performance with little regrets.
When you reduce things to just results, then all that does is foster a toxic mindset. You'll keep asking yourself "why do I keep losing?", when what you should be asking is "what should I do to improve?". You don't think about that cool combo you did mid-match and instead say "why did I get hit by that?". You stop enjoying the moment-to-moment gameplay, and you won't learn from your losses and start assigning blame on something, anything.
And eventually, you'll reach a point where you realize that you're no longer having fun.
Which is literally the entire point.
(Also, you are
definitely not in the top 1,500 players or so if you don't even go to offline tournaments. Probably not even top 15,000.)