This may be an unpopular question to ask, but... Are we too obsessed with sex?

[Deleted member 22630]

Going by this (7.8 Billion+ and counting):

World Population Clock: 8.1 Billion People (LIVE, 2024) - Worldometer

How many people are there in the world? World population has reached 8 billion on November 15, 2022 according to the United Nations. World population live counter with data sheets, graphs, maps, and census data regarding the current, historical, and future world population figures, estimates...

www.worldometers.info

Yeah, we probably are. We'll continue to multiply until the aliens wipe us all out.

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I don't know about that, some humans find Aliens sexy so...

 

[MoonPhase]

This must be some bizarro 80s I missed. I remember it being a cocaine filled capitalistic orgy.

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I think you're way too young, dude. nothing personal :^)

 

[Dice]

I don't know about that, some humans find Aliens sexy so...

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Futurama's take on Mermaid sex was honestly one of my favourite punchlines.
After years of watching Star Trek and having every biped hooking up with other bipeds, I thought it was funny to consider.

This must be some bizarro 80s I missed. I remember it being a cocaine filled capitalistic orgy.

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[Wackamole]

It differs from person to person. We're just a bunch of overcomplicated fuck-apes.
But yeah, some people are a prisoner of their libido, it seems.
With a bit of hope it becomes less as you get older. This isn't the case for everyone though.

 

[____]

Yes and no

 

[Deleted member 15737]

I mean I'm with you, but more on a personal preference ce wave, more than a "let's ban porn" wave.

Whenever people talk about sex I imagine pigs talking about the type of shit they like to roll in. It's natural, but it's also shallow, helps only those directly involved, and gets such importance yet is constantly used to manipulate people in really unhealthy ways.

Ace life, or just really sexually detached feels right to me. But that heavily impacted by my natural biology and urges, so I'm empathetic to people with functioning libidos who constantly have to try and keep that in check.

 

[Mediking]

I think hentai is fantastic (lol sorry, weird way to start). It's often very creative (for better or worse), can appeal to a whole bunch of kinks IRL Porn can't make happen, and you honestly see a lot of talented artists in this sorta genre of work. ...But the amount of comics that focus on rape (and other dubious kniks) has alarmed me more than once. o_O
I really don't know how/where to draw a line there besides the one in my head.

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Oh, agreed. Hentai is awesome. Some stuff is pure gold and some stuff will give you nightmares lol

 

[Zom]

Unless you know, you are asexual, but yeah 99,9% of people are hungry for sex whenever.

 

[stersauce]

 

[Aaronrules380]

I'd argue people are way more interested in fucking for pleasure than reproducing.

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I mean yes, but sex is pleasurable because that leads to creatures reproducing more from an evolutionary perspective. Evolution favors traits that make organisms more likely to pass down their genes. Like many animals aren't smart enough to consciously understand the idea of reproducing, they're having sex because evolutionary stimuli such as pleasure drive them to do so not because they personally want to have kids (because they don't have brains developed enough to be capable of that).

Humans having sex purely for pleasure while eliminating the chances of having kids is just us using our intelligence to game the system from an evolutionary perspective

 

[Deleted member 5127]

At times? Probably. But a sex positive or even a sex addicted society is healthier than one that surpresses sex.

 

[Nazo]

Hold on, let me ask the people who can't stop shouting "stop being horny on main" over the littlest shit every ten minutes on Twitter...surprisingly they said yes.

 

[Deleted member 22630]

Futurama's take on Mermaid sex was honestly one of my favourite punchlines.
After years of watching Star Trek and having every biped hooking up with other bipeds, I thought it was funny to consider.

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Yeah, I agree with you, the subversion is great. Also why I appreciate when media doesn't just do "Sexy (usually Female) Human with an unnatural Skin Color".

 

[Kay]

American culture has been deeply puritanical for its whole existence and is currently (well, like 50 years) having a counter-cultural sexual swing (at least, some places are). There's like 300 years of self-repression and its being let out like the air coming out of a balloon, it going to go flying around for a while before it settles in a healthy place.

 

[Fromskap]

One thing I like to add to this conversation, is that women being able to sexually express themselves indicates a healthy society where individual lives are valued, at least by some theories. If women's sexualities are suppressed by a society, it is often because their role in life is to churn out as many children as possible, thus deprioritizing their individual sexuality. This happens a lot in societies where many people are needed because they are only valued for their labor, e.g. societies with an exploited laboring class or even slavery. Therefore, not only women's lives are devalued, but men's as well. Considering this, a society where women can express their own sexuality indicates a healthy society. So yes, I do think sexual expression is quite important.

At least that's how this was explained to me.

But I think a big issue is how to compartmentalize it. In a professional setting, for example, sexual expression should be off the table. But there are other avenues where one can (and should be able to) express themselves sexually as well, like a Twitter alt or something. When these boundaries are not respected it leads to issues. Taking the RE8 lady as an example, if there's a horny Twitter thread thirsting for her (not a big if), I think it's fine. But if people are attempting a serious analysis of the game or its themes or social politics, but people only respond with horny memes regarding her, then it's a problem and alienating for a lot of people. We have to be able to separate it. At least that's what I live by.

 

[Hu3]

Probably. I mean, you're telling this to a kinda sterotypical girly-girl for the softer genres --- I love a good romance. ♥

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I see I kinda understand to where you are coming from. And yes media tends to sensationalize the sexual part of us.

I was referring to the more intimate form, the more romantic form yes.

 

[808s & Villainy]

Let people care about sex if they want to. As long as it's not ruining their lives then no, it's not obsessive

 

[RichardHawk]

I think you're way too young, dude. nothing personal :^)

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Literally what the hell are you talking about? 1880? This was one of the biggest songs in the 80s

 

[wenis]

what people do behind closed doors with consenting adults or to themselves aint no ones business but their own. sex positivity always.

this line of thinking is how we end up with those bullshit parents groups that fight to keep safe sex education out of classrooms and why we end up with tv shows about pregnant teens.

 

[The Dragon Mask]

I'll just add that I wish I had a switch to turn it off, but unfortunately almost none of us do.

In addition, one reason I have to step away from many modern songs sometimes is they won't stop talking about sex or love. Which is sometimes a painful and isolating experience.

 

[Aurica]

I think you're way too young, dude. nothing personal :^)

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What a strange response. You think they're way too young when they remember lots of sex and cocaine being prevalent in the 80s and ask your age? I'm confused.

 

[MoonPhase]

Literally what the hell are you talking about? 1880? This was one of the biggest songs in the 80s

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sending one (1) scandalous video clip and missing the whole point. made me chuckle really

80s:


today:

 

[MoonPhase]

What a strange response. You think they're way too young when they remember lots of sex and cocaine being prevalent in the 80s and ask your age? I'm confused.

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I think they played Yakuza 0 and have all their knowledge about that time from the game. Nothing against Yakuza 0, the game is amazing.

 

[Dice]

what people do behind closed doors with consenting adults or to themselves aint no ones business but their own. sex positivity always.

this line of thinking is how we end up with those bullshit parents groups that fight to keep safe sex education out of classrooms and why we end up with tv shows about pregnant teens.

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Is it?? Really?

I agree about people doing whatever they want behind closed doors, but there's a failure to consider how sexual obessions also seeps into real life with constantly sexualized female forms, men struggling with sexual issues they feel they can't talk about, a large shunning of LGBTQ+ sexuality/romance, or (and slightly on the topic following gaming news) how SUPER PISSED gamers get when the tits are taken out of a game.

Problem is: We are not a sexually equal society.

People were also sending rape threats to women behind closed doors because of The Last of Us 2 and its hard lean into (at times) very sexual ideas/themes. :/
I DO appreciate a "privacy angle" to the matter, but I also don't think life isn't that simple either... What happens in bed doesn't always stay in bed. But this could be bordering other considerations of the topic beyond the scope of what you might have laid out, some don't "switch off" so neatly and I think a lot of what we enjoy (TV, movies, porn, etc.), while not always a bad thing, can also feed bad ideas about expectations for it.

Sexual repression is bad (100% agreed), but sex education and having a healthy sex life are very important, and many individuals take advantage of many other vulnerable peoples. I really hope you're not reducing how big a role sexual health/knowledge can have (and don't REALLY see it as a bad educational video in school). People can become very hurt by what sex does to them (whether personally or how it involves other players).

 

[Aztechnology]

let me preface this with a, this opinion is merely from a standpoint of non healthy sexual behavior like excessive obsession, bed posting notch hunting, being excessively thirsty or thirst trapping.

I feel like it boils down to peoples lives are often pretty shit and it's a release (achievable goal). They've been taught that it's a respectively huge part of life and place significant importance on it due to a lot of media. In a way that's turned sex from healthy, to obsessive. Sex is and always has been important, obviously it has a lot of health benefits. But the level you're talking about, which I agree on, I think has come more from a cultural standpoint, especially media. It's being tied to happiness and success, in the form of self worth from desirability/achievement. When those things aren't really technically related. I feel like you have too many people who feel like they've failed if they are not extremely desirable or in constant supply of sexual contact. I think that is unhealthy because it's not prioritizing the things built around sex like healthy relationships (I mean relationship broadly, as in human connections). Yes and even hookups can be anchored to healthy relationships from the standpoint of mutual understanding and respect and not just looking for targets so to speak.

 

[Aurica]

I think they played Yakuza 0 and have all their knowledge about that time from the game. Nothing against Yakuza 0, the game is amazing.

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I think that is a bit of an unfair assumption, though. You don't know what their life experiences were. I have a circle of friends that was having crazy cocaine parties just a few years ago, so it doesn't sound like a stretch to me.

 

[Einchy]

sending one (1) scandalous video clip and missing the whole point. made me chuckle really

80s:


today:

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Is this a bit?

 

[Xterrian]

People like sex and it can be used to create some strong bonds in a relationship, so I see why it's so prevalently liked.

Still, I feel like the emphasis on sex can lead to massive isolation and bitterness among those who aren't partaking in it, for whatever reason. It can be hard on one's mental health to feel like you're living a less "human" life because you're not getting laid.

That's not getting into how much bias it creates against asexuals and how kids can easily get the idea that sex is the end all be all.

It shouldn't be suppressed, but having something this prized is kinda shit.

Sex is an activity, nothing more nothing less. It's a tool for pleasure and strengthening physical relationships. People don't put cuddling on the same level, yet it serves the same purpose.

And yes, I know sex is used for procreation as well. But 99%+ of sexual activity does not have that in mind. In fact most are actively trying to avoid it. So I find the whole "we need sex to survive unlike cuddling/embracing/etc" thing kinda pointless.

 

[MoonPhase]

I think that is a bit of an unfair assumption, though. You don't know what their life experiences were. I have a circle of friends that was having crazy cocaine parties just a few years ago, so it doesn't sound like a stretch to me.

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I thought it was rather obvious that my answers to those posters were more of a joke, but ok. The only argument that one guy had was that there was a lot of drug use, as if it wouldn't be the case today as well and it doesn't have shit to do with the topic mentioned by me. Also he indirectly attacked me by asking my age to say I wouldn't know what I was talking about so I couldn't take that guy seriously.

 

[Aurica]

I thought it was rather obvious that my answers to those posters were more of a joke, but ok. The only argument that one guy had was that there was a lot of drug use, as if it wouldn't be the case today as well and it doesn't have shit to do with the topic mentioned by me. Also he indirectly attacked me by asking my age to say I wouldn't know what I was talking about so I couldn't take that guy seriously.

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Oh, okay. I suppose your response was fair game. Sorry about that.

 

[Eugene's Axe]

One thing I find curious is that, at least in my case, I don't really find sex that great. I get bored really soon when I have a sexual partner. But I can't stop thinking about seeing all the time and it gets really annoying. I should be thinking about other more productive things.

 

[captive]

the weird part to me is as others have pointed out that sex is everywhere, and sex sells and everything is marketed with sex appeal etc.

but oh lord if you want to talk about sex, thats taboo. And teenagers and kids must be shielded from naked bodies, but we're cool with letting them see inordinate amounts of violence on TV and movies.

And its not like you can just start talking about sex in a group setting, everyone gets all uncomfortable. Its all taboo to talk about. Its weird.

 

[Regiruler]

Absolutely.

 

[MoonPhase]

Aurica: no problem :)

 

[Lmo2017]

We as a culture need to be more sex positive and also less sex obsessed. We need to find a way to normalize sex so the taboos and nonsense around it don't create all the toxicity that we have today.

To fix sex, we must make it boring... as a subject matter, that is.

 

[Maximo]

We are not open enough and sex positive enough, it creates a whiplash of sex obsessed and sex oppressed people which Capitalism than uses it to sell shit to people.

 

[HommePomme]

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BEEP BEEEEEEEEP

 

[MoonPhase]

Can someone tell me where our society (American & European) is not open or sex-positive enough? Because I sincerely can't think of anything.

 

[Nothing Loud]

Tbh were not *positively* obsessed with sex enough in America, IMO. Sex is amazing, modern technology/medicine has made it safe, and it's a fantastic way to up your mood, relieve stress, and strengthen a bond with someone. America is so prudish and negatively obsessed with the concept of sex instead of the nature and benefits and pleasure of it. I wish our culture was more sex positive, more nudity positive, more into sexual education that reaffirms LGBTQ, and more of us focusing more concern over media indulgence in something like violence and white supremacy instead of nipples or penises. People should feel comfortable talking about sex if they want to, and artists should feel comfortable expressing sex and nudity in their work if they want to—sex is part of life, natural and most people do it. Now, exploitation is never okay, and it is okay to hold and understand both truths: exploitation is never okay AND artists and people should be able to enjoy positive portrayals of sex. This reminds me, why is Portland one of the only places in the US I can legally see fully nude gogo dancers at a gay club? The fact that nudity is still so legally taboo in most places is weird.

I had sex twice before lunchtime today and it was great. Now I'm catching up on work. Sex is in life and around us and it shouldn't be a taboo or something to feel to hide, whether in life or in games or movies. Because art can be either from fantasy or reality, and sex occupies both.

Nothing in this post is meant to pressurize or persecute aces and people who can't/don't have sex. I just mean for those of us who do, it shouldn't be so negatively treated. And, since art imitates life, and life has sex in it, it should be permissible for artists to display nudity and sex as well (without exploitation or breaking the law).

 

[Deleted member 9306]

I hate this answer. Yes we like fucking and we need to do it to keep the species going.

But you will not physically DIE if you don't have sex.

Make your jokes, I don't care...but not having sex has not killed anyone, and 20 year old Virgins are real and surviving just fine (even if they're ""in the mood"" -- which most adults seem to be regardless of V-status). Many aces and celibates are real people too, they're not moaning and groaning about this needing to stick it into something because THE DNA SAID IT. 🤦‍♀️ 🤣

We are also VERY socialized/pressured to do it. Why do people never say this? Sex and love and all therein is very complicated.

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Yo can I say thank you for this post?

I'm a 22 year old lady virgin and I'm in no rush to lose my virginity (I'm waiting to find a guy who loves me first, I'll probably be waiting until I'm 59, no biggie.). But everyone people find out that I'm still a virgin people try to drag me for it, or tell me that I'm a loser or some shit.

But aside from my pre requisites I'm just focusing on more important shit. I'm tired of this sex addled culture that we live in. People need to get a grip and it's like you said : no one died bc they didn't have sex. People are not ENTITLED to sex. Sex is not a REQUIREMENT of life.

But if you say this out loud then people chastise you for being a prude or "you just don't want women to be sexual" (right bc you know I'm cock blocking other women by making a person choice about my own body, k). It's fucking stupid lol.

 

[MoonPhase]

I hate this answer. Yes we like fucking and we need to do it to keep the species going.

But you will not physically DIE if you don't have sex.

Make your jokes, I don't care...but not having sex has not killed anyone, and 20 year old Virgins are real and surviving just fine (even if they're ""in the mood"" -- which most adults seem to be regardless of V-status). Many aces and celibates are real people too, they're not moaning and groaning about this needing to stick it into something because THE DNA SAID IT. 🤦‍♀️ 🤣

We are also VERY socialized/pressured to do it. Why do people never say this? Sex and love and all therein is very complicated.

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Yo can I say thank you for this post?

I'm a 22 year old lady virgin and I'm in no rush to lose my virginity (I'm waiting to find a guy who loves me first, I'll probably be waiting until I'm 59, no biggie.). But everyone people find out that I'm still a virgin people try to drag me for it, or tell me that I'm a loser or some shit.

But aside from my pre requisites I'm just focusing on more important shit. I'm tired of this sex addled culture that we live in. People need to get a grip and it's like you said : no one died bc they didn't have sex. People are not ENTITLED to sex. Sex is not a REQUIREMENT of life.

But if you say this out loud then people chastise you for being a prude or "you just don't want women to be sexual" (right bc you know I'm cock blocking other women by making a person choice about my own body, k). It's fucking stupid lol.

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+1

 

[Budi]

Great posts Megan Thee Fury and Dice, I think where people often go overboard is shaming/mocking those who haven't had or even intend to have sex and another one is bragging about sex. It just seems juvenile and the juvenile approach to sex and sexuality is a problem imo. I don't think criticizing that kind of approach is being sex-negative. Same immaturity towards sex and sexuality can be seen in much of media, from games, to films and adverts in how those portray them.

 

[Gaf Zombie]

I think humans - especially males (generally) - are more interested in sexual arousal and gratification than is necessary for today's society.

Same thing with food. Humans evolved in an environment without Burger King and OnlyFans. But we'll figure it out.

 

[hachikoma]

as an ace person, you absolutely are 🙃

 

[nampad]

It's just natural, every living creatures goal is to reproduce.
Heck, for some animals it's the only thing they do in life.

 

[CerealKi11a]

I don't think it's possible to be too obsessed overall. The only argument against it usually comes from some claims of "morality"

 

[MoonPhase]

Budi & hachikoma

 

[foxuzamaki]

when you get down to it, we are animals programmed to think about sex all the time, especially in our teen and young adult phase. If it wasent for the whole society thing all we would be doing is eating, sleeping and fucking

 

[Hu3]

Great posts Megan Thee Fury and Dice, I think where people often go overboard is shaming/mocking those who haven't had or even intend to have sex and another one is bragging about sex. It just seems juvenile and the juvenile approach to sex and sexuality is a problem imo. I don't think criticizing that kind of approach is being sex-negative. Same immaturity towards sex and sexuality can be seen in much of media, from games, to films and adverts in how those portray them.

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that immaturity and bragging situation is an America problem. Putting sex and sexuality in some kind of pedestal and behind a thousand taboos.

euro parts like Spain where sex is more accepted and open. you don't see that kind of shaming and bragging. Sex is seem more natural and people talk about it more mundanely.

 

[CloudWolf]

In the immortal words of True Detective Season 2:

Everything is fucking