I mean we're jumping from "is she into me?" to "deal with your husband!" in three pages. That should be enough of a cue.
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So, is this girl into me?
- Thread starter fanboi
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Even if she was into you starting a relationship by fucking up the one she is currently in will not yield any worthwhile results. And even then, cowormers bonding and talking a bunch in a short period is actually normal. If I jumped to thinking every woman at work that I get on with was into me, I'd be trying to hook up with a lot of coworkers.
Agreed. OP, you gotta fight the husband, and all of her exes
Not an expert, but I'd say give her some room and don't pursue.
It's her husband and her relationship, so let her deal with it at her pace. If you're really in love with her and wish her well, then you should let her salvage (or end) the marriage on her own terms. Doing anything otherwise to influence is just you being selfish (and rash). If you have hard boundaries/resolve that you won't overstep, then you might be able to stay platonic friends until something happens, but otherwise take a break from her or bail. Infatuation/Love is a hell of a drug.
That said, no one knows the relationship more than you two, so... choose whichever path you think will give you (and her) the least amount of regret.
It's her husband and her relationship, so let her deal with it at her pace. If you're really in love with her and wish her well, then you should let her salvage (or end) the marriage on her own terms. Doing anything otherwise to influence is just you being selfish (and rash). If you have hard boundaries/resolve that you won't overstep, then you might be able to stay platonic friends until something happens, but otherwise take a break from her or bail. Infatuation/Love is a hell of a drug.
That said, no one knows the relationship more than you two, so... choose whichever path you think will give you (and her) the least amount of regret.
You can't leave a lad hangin', bruv. What's the link on this.
I....highly doubt that.
You've mentioned yourself that you have low self esteem. You should honestly address that first. But you do you, I guess. Just realize the people you could hurt (including her).
she should figure out her relationship without you. You don't need to be involved in that, or be the cause for that.
to clarify, I have very high self esteem in general it is just regarding other women and their feelings for me which I always downplay.
Just don't be the "other man". Ever. Not only is it fucked up, but its dangerous. Worst case scneario, you're catching a bullet.
tbf, as her own words, thanks to me she has actually started reflecting and trying to find what is important in life. Which she has avoided for almost 20 years.
Sheeeit, if hubby ain't doing it right I'd say go ahead and slide on in there. She gots needs and needs you to be her superman worry about the consequences later playa.
Was just wondering if it was more an US thing where it seem to be a difference between married and non married couples when it comes to seriousness. Which I diss like.
she's still married and will have to go through a separation/divorce. You being in themiddle only complicates that further
Sounds to me that you'll pursue this whatever we tell you, but my advise still is don't...Being co-workers is a minor thing and I know more success stories than not, but messing with a married woman is a no until she clearly is underway with a separation cause those stories ends up worse for everyone involved
That's ... Certainly a quote
"Getting desperate. Might actually offer services to my Math professor. Shes a very old lady who grades so harsh. Ironically, shes very nice and seems to have a soft spot for me. Ill do ANYTHING to pass the class. What a way to lose my virginity if shes okay with it. Ha... totally... jokin'....."
It is hard when i sit literally 1,5 meters from her, just her and me in an office.
You can still be friends op. Nothing wrong with that. Just don't take the romantic route.
now you mention friends, we have never actually said that to each other... that we are friends or you are a good friend... Or I am reading to much into that haha.
you mean me? I wouldn't say so far gone, if so I wouldn't create this thread imo.
Even if she's into you. Even if you two go on dates and fuck and spend all night chatting, she still has a husband and will ditch you for him and it will destroy your already struggling mental health.
Reading your post, it went a completely different direction than I thought it would.
"I highly doubt that (you can't find women like yourself).
You've mentioned yourself that you have low self esteem..."
At that point I thought you were going to be all like, lots of women have low self-esteem. Should be easy to find another like that! Made me laugh.
Wait I don't have struggling mental health. I am quite strong mentally, just in the specifics regarding women and their feelings on a deeper level is where I am lackluster.
Sounds like a keeper. Every girl who's screwed a guy over says the same thing "No feelings at all. Unhealth relationship, etc, etc" Not saying don't do it, but those are just stock lines. Heard the exact same thing from my ex and my current wife and all my buddies who've been in similar situations with girls who are currently seeing someone
First of all, just don't do it. It seems like she considers you a friend and is therefore confiding in you with her relationship problems because you must give good advice or are a good listener. I don't necessarily read anything in the OP as indication that she's into you as more that a friend considering she has a husband. If she was single it could go either way, but it's reading as "best friend" type of vibe to me.
But say you disregarded everyone's advice in this thread and decided to go for it and say that she is into you and you guys hook up. You have to ask yourself if you're willing to be "the other man" potentially indefinitely. In like the majority of relationships where one party is married and "promises" to end things with their spouse... they don't. And you'll be the one who ends up alone when the ultimatum comes down to "choose him or me." Are you up for that?
But say you disregarded everyone's advice in this thread and decided to go for it and say that she is into you and you guys hook up. You have to ask yourself if you're willing to be "the other man" potentially indefinitely. In like the majority of relationships where one party is married and "promises" to end things with their spouse... they don't. And you'll be the one who ends up alone when the ultimatum comes down to "choose him or me." Are you up for that?
People should probably end their marriages prior to seeing new people
classic scenario.
don't be an idiot.
back off, let that relationship run its course [DO NOT try and influence its direction].
if it ends, give her time.
don't disappear entirely, just don't expect her to jump straight into another one.
if you're SUPER patient, it COULD work out.
rush any part of this and you're fucked.
don't be an idiot.
back off, let that relationship run its course [DO NOT try and influence its direction].
if it ends, give her time.
don't disappear entirely, just don't expect her to jump straight into another one.
if you're SUPER patient, it COULD work out.
rush any part of this and you're fucked.
Even if she's into you and she tells you she's into you, you tell her that you don't mess with married women.
If things don't work out with her husband and she gets a divorce, then you ask her out.
If things don't work out with her husband and she gets a divorce, then you ask her out.
Isnt the marriage technically in danger if its able to be messed up in the first place?
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