Lmao. This is too true. Pretty much every parent says fuck it once the second comes. Our second slept over at 2 with her big brother as the place they were at had similar aged kids.First kid: "I'm not so sure. Do we really know these people well enough? What if they have a mean dog, or weapons in the house? We should really think about this. Maybe ask around a little bit."
Second kid: "SEE YA TOMORROW!"
For how long? Another 2 years? Until they're 18?That just makes me conclude no sleepovers in general then. :-)
It's actually higher than that for women, more like 25-30%. That 20% figure is correct if we are talking about male victims of sexual assault though, so maybe you should reconsider your preconceived notions about this subject.I don't plan on teaching them that, that's my job to be overly paranoid. But the statistics say 20% of women in this country have been sexually assualted. Those odds fucking suck, and yeah, they make me not trust most men.
I mean I know eventually things will have to change. Hopefully by the time they reach the age of reason, I'll have taught them how to best protect themselves without passing on my own paranoia, and then I'll just cross my fingers and hope for the best as they fly the coop.
once it gets around that you're only allowing your kids to have sleepovers if it's at your place, the other parents are going to stop trusting you because that's a weird as shit thing to do
both of these.I'm just saying dude. You are sounding exactly like my parents. And it can really affect them socially. Like, for example, say your daughters best friend has a sleepover for a birthday party. Well, all of her friends came except for your daughter. Then it kind of connects that all of her other friends, are way better friends than your daughter. Even if you are "willing to host" (my parents were "willing to host" as well), it just starts to form a huge block in the relationships. Also, if you allow kids at your house, but don't allow your kid at other people's houses. Well. Other parents won't take kindly to that anyway, and it's your kid that gets to suffer the consequences.
and thisI'll tell you right now: every group of kids is for damn sure talking about the one weird kid who isn't allowed to sleep over because of their parents.
its really not.
What about sleepovers is inherently different than say, your kid going over to a friend's house to play during the day or even going to school and interacting with their peers during recess and lunch?
Sure but 6-7 is what, grade 1-2? Who cares.I'll tell you right now: every group of kids is for damn sure talking about the one weird kid who isn't allowed to sleep over because of their parents.
So they are doing an activity (sleeping) which is a low risk activity. They aren't playing in oncoming traffic, playing in fields riddled with needles, throwing bottles at each other. What is going to go wrong with sleeping?
Sure but 6-7 is what, grade 1-2? Who cares.
Also, doesn't seem like you were ever a kid. The weird 6 year old that doesn't sleep over isn't a thing lol.
So they are doing an activity (sleeping) which is a low risk activity. They aren't playing in oncoming traffic, playing in fields riddled with needles, throwing bottles at each other. What is going to go wrong with sleeping?
As a parent you should have met the parents already. They aren't strangers as you brought the kid to the place. This isn't hard. Kids have been sleeping over forever. Nothing has happened this year that somehow makes this scary now.OP doesn't trust the parents. I assume he fears they could have an abusive household, leave harmful things around the house, have large dogs, or have other issues. Seems reasonable assuming he doesn't know the parents. It is essentially letting your kid stay the night with strangers, just because your kid goes to the same class with their kid.
Probably 8 years old.
People posting ages like there is a tangible difference between 6, 7, 8. Let kids be kids.
I'm going to guess most here were kids at one point and slept over their firends place at that age.I wonder how many people voting here actually have kids.
My oldest is 4 and I'd say definitely no at 6 or 7. That's also a lot to ask from other parents. Kindergarteners/ 1st graders are needy.
3rd grade sounds about the right age. So 8 or 9, with close friends.
Odd thing to assume.OP, did you have sleepovers as a kid? You seem to want to know a lot about them which indicates you didn't have that experience?
Their kid is a reflection of what kind of parents they are. It should be a clear marker. If they are good enough friends to consider a sleepover, then you should know the parents to some extent already.
Do you think parents drop kids car at the curb and then pick them up at the curb too? Like wtf how has their been no interaction?
Oh gotcha. What I meant by that is that I only really know myself with certainty. I'm sure there are many better parents out there than me. But I get why it can be misunderstood."Your children can come here but my children can't go there"
Like you and your kids are somehow better than the other families
Hehehe I suspect this might be me.First kid: "I'm not so sure. Do we really know these people well enough? What if they have a mean dog, or weapons in the house? We should really think about this. Maybe ask around a little bit."
Second kid: "SEE YA TOMORROW!"
I think for me it just seems that babysitting and daycare are much more necessary than sleepovers, especially at 6-7 yrs old, and since I didn't grow up going to sleepovers. So the necessity of it outweighs the risk (for me).How is this really any different than trusting a baby sitter or a daycare?
I think 8 or 9 yrs old would make more sense. Though really I'll never feel super settled about it — but I'll just have to deal because it'll likely be a norm for them socially at that age.
I know it's easy to fill in the gaps with a negative overall picture of me, I get it, but try not to diagnose so broadly here.and i think you need to take a hard look at your parenting. If your this concerned about a sleep over, my guess is that your a serious helicopter parent.
I feel more like 8 or 9 makes more sense for me. I didn't have sleepovers because it wasn't the norm in my family / immigrant community, and so they didn't allow it when the topic came up with school friends.OP, did you have sleepovers as a kid? You seem to want to know a lot about them which indicates you didn't have that experience?
Their kid is a reflection of what kind of parents they are. It should be a clear marker. If they are good enough friends to consider a sleepover, then you should know the parents to some extent already.
You can't operate as a helicopter parent for their entire life. 6-7 is old enough to go to a friends house for a night.
Yeah, I agree with you.I wonder how many people voting here actually have kids.
My oldest is 4 and I'd say definitely no at 6 or 7. That's also a lot to ask from other parents. Kindergarteners/ 1st graders are needy.
3rd grade sounds about the right age. So 8 or 9, with close friends.
As a parent you should have met the parents already. They aren't strangers as you brought the kid to the place. This isn't hard. Kids have been sleeping over forever. Nothing has happened this year that somehow makes this scary now.
It's not a bad assumption - they were right.Why? The whole first page is them asking about the experience? The whole thread is asking for justification as to why to have a sleepover....
I appreciate the insight (here and in the thread in general of the positive impact). And you didn't come off harshly at all, no worries.So I have two kids and I can definitely understand where you are coming from. It's a unique experience for kids to go and play at another's house and not have to go back to your house that night. I know that there were certainly a couple of sleepovers that made me value my family situation. Releasing control of your kid(s) to another Parent is very much a leap of faith. Meeting the parents can be a big step towards mitigating that risk.
I remember having game nights at my friends' houses and them being some of the best nights I can remember, as I wasn't allowed to have a console. It is a valuable experience for the kid, and personally as a parent, I would have a hard time not giving that same experience to my children.
Edit: OP, I apologize if I came off harsh to you in my first post.
That totally makes sense as an approach... I just can't bring myself to do it when it's much more clean cut to have a no sleepover policy unless we're hosting it. Some of my friends tell me I didn't have sleepovers when I was a kid because my parents were immigrants to the US and that's less common for first generation immigrants. Maybe that's it... the concept is not my norm, so I'd rather simply avoid it.
It happens especially with older kids.Do you think parents drop kids car at the curb and then pick them up at the curb too? Like wtf how has their been no interaction?
This seems to be a polarizing topic in my social circle, and I'm interested in what everyone thinks. :-)
I'm squarely in the "I don't trust you (the friend's parents) enough to allow it" camp.
How about you?
How did the kid get there? There has obviously been some interaction or the kid wouldn't have gotten there. It's your job as the parent to assess.He isn't obligated to meet the parents of everyone that goes to his kid's class.. he is obligated to question if they are a safe environment for his kids though.
How did the kid get there? There has obviously been some interaction or the kid wouldn't have gotten there. It's your job as the parent to assess.
That is just irrational. You can extend this to any sinfle person you have ever met. Pretty much can't leave a kid out of your watch if that is your outlook.He already said that he doesn't believe he can judge a parent by just meeting them - since they will act differently in private.
That is just irrational. You can extend this to any sinfle person you have ever met. Pretty much can't leave a kid out of your watch if that is your outlook.
In the last season of Mindhunter, Bill Tench uses the word in like 1981 and it through me off. I don't remember that word ever being used.Seeing adult posters mention being taken to play dates as kids is making me feel really old.
In the last season of Mindhunter, Bill Tench uses the word in like 1981 and it through me off. I don't remember that word ever being used.
I've made up my mind that 6-7 is too young and I'd prefer, if it seems to be the norm for their friend group, for it to be when they're 8-9.Sounds like you've already made up your mind OP but I'll add in here:
From one parent to another, let the kids sleepover. The pros absolutely outweigh the cons and as others have pointed out in the thread its a great opportunity for kids to experience other lifestyles besides their own. You can even make it a monthly routine.
Hey "X's Parents" you wanna host the kids sleepover this November? Me and -insert partner here- are happy to watch yours in December if you're down!
It just makes your more friendly, sociable, and approachable from your kids view and other parents view.