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In 2015, the layout was garbage. It made me not even want to continue using it. How's soul swype? I just read this review from 2015 and it seems like the app is trash.


I don't follow. What do you mean?
Soul swype is basically a tinder clone at this point.

When a lot of people say race, they are talking about ethnicity and culture. You could have someone of the same race but of a different ethnicity and culture and it would be a deal breaker. Generally, one ethnicity makes up the majority of a particular race. Like in America, there's way more African Americans than Caribbean and Africans for example and if they haven't assimilated, they can be very very very very different.
 
Oct 25, 2017
565
Are you saying it's racist for white women to be sexually attracted to black men or that it's racist how white men respond to that?
Quoting for truth.
No its racist for a white women to see black men as human dildos. Please belive me when I say that someone can fuck you and still hate whatever race you are.
Never forget that slave owners sold there own biracial children into slavery and that white politicians advocated for black oppression while having half black children themselves.
 

FaceHugger

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
13,949
USA
I only dabbled with online dating a few years ago. I am half white, on my mom's side, and asian on my father's. When I put asian as my race I did OK, I guess, probably average - I went on three dates in about a month and a half. I decided to change it to latino (by appearance I can easily pass for it, and my last name is shared by many in South America), and suddenly I was getting a lot more attention. It stayed pretty much the same when I set my race to white on another site, as I can pass for a tan white dude, too.

What I found interesting was that every single date I went on was with white women, and only one asian, one latina, and one black woman even bothered to contact me and strike up some chats. So, I suppose I know what kind of women are into me.
 
Oh, well yeah that last part makes it totally racist for sure.
And white men play into it. I'll have to find the study later but racist whites that do the black fetish thing give off the same vibes as those that are into stuff like animals, beastieality or how ever you spell it. They view black people in similar view to animals and to them, it's about as taboo.
 
I understand, and agree, but I'm not talking about women born into slavery. Strom Thurmond was one of the most virulent racists of the 1950s era. Had a black child.

Many white men had children with free poc women, white or otherwise, then sold them for profit.
Let me go find that KKK jerry springer episode, now that was funny. My friends ex is also super racist.
 

Bman94

Member
Oct 28, 2017
2,553
I don't know if Tinder counts but I wish there was a filter on there. I'm African American and I want to date with POC. I spend like 20 minutes just constantly hitting nope to find a POC.
 

Renna Hazel

Member
Oct 27, 2017
11,592
And white men play into it. I'll have to find the study later but racist whites that do the black fetish thing give off the same vibes as those that are into stuff like animals, beastieality or how ever you spell it. They view black people in similar view to animals and to them, it's about as taboo.
I'm a little unnerved that there were people who volunteered that information for a study. The racist part I know people are proud of, but the animal stuff...weirdos.
 
Oct 25, 2017
5,159
China
And white men play into it. I'll have to find the study later but racist whites that do the black fetish thing give off the same vibes as those that are into stuff like animals, beastieality or how ever you spell it. They view black people in similar view to animals and to them, it's about as taboo.
Boy-That-Escalated-Quickly-Anchorman.gif
 

Valkerion

Member
Oct 29, 2017
7,246
No its racist for a white women to see black men as human dildos. Please belive me when I say that someone can fuck you and still hate whatever race you are.

Learned this lesson in high school. Still learning it every now and then, sans the hate part thankfully. But its not so dissimilar to my recent experiences of black fetishization here in Japan. Gotta be careful~ Sucks when you start seeing a lady and she changes her profile picture to a gorilla or rapper................

yeah I haven't dated in a while because of it and doubt my friends realized why I broke up with those ladies lol.

But yeah it's tough dating on the other side of the world where the only exposure to black people is movies where we are gangsters, rappers, hired to stand outside/in clubs because were "intimidating", or acting like fool ass characters on TV for a quick buck. Couple that with ladies (and men's) ideas that foreigner=white people, everything else is other makes it harder. White dudes = instantly handsome, even when they SUPER AINT, or downright clearly terrible people, is a constant struggle. That said I just do my usual thing everyday and maybe found a nice normal girl recently lol.
 

SHØGVN

Member
Oct 29, 2017
258
Asian guy growing up in the UK I know exactly how it is. Most non-asian girls simply aren't interested.

I only fuck with Asian women, they're cuter anyway.
 

TickleMeElbow

Member
Oct 31, 2017
2,668
I only dabbled with online dating a few years ago. I am half white, on my mom's side, and asian on my father's. When I put asian as my race I did OK, I guess, probably average - I went on three dates in about a month and a half. I decided to change it to latino (by appearance I can easily pass for it, and my last name is shared by many in South America), and suddenly I was getting a lot more attention. It stayed pretty much the same when I set my race to white on another site, as I can pass for a tan white dude, too.

What I found interesting was that every single date I went on was with white women, and only one asian, one latina, and one black woman even bothered to contact me and strike up some chats. So, I suppose I know what kind of women are into me.

So you just lie about your race from the get go lol?

Anyways, I'm half Asian half white as well, and this one girl was super into me until she found out I was half Asian. I'll never forget that shit. I'd never lie about my ethnic background just to get laid though.
 

Zelda

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,079
Asian guy growing up in the UK I know exactly how it is. Most non-asian girls simply aren't interested.

I only fuck with Asian women, they're cuter anyway.
So you have preference towards asian girls, yet are complaining about non-asian girls having preference towards non-asian guys. Do you not see the hypocrisy in that?
 

FaceHugger

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
13,949
USA
So you just lie about your race from the get go lol?

Anyways, I'm half Asian half white as well, and this one girl was super into me until she found out I was half Asian. I'll never forget that shit. I'd never lie about my ethnic background just to get laid though.

Not from the get go, and I think technically answering either white or asian for us is fine. We are both.

Aside from that I was the Rachel Dolezal of the online dating scene circa early 2015. lol.
 

LilWayneSuckz

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,820
As a gay black 5'9 cisgender male, online dating sucks. Jack'd is full of torsos, Grindr is full of torsos, bots, and guys with mandingo fetishes, and Adam 4 Adam is full of weirdos and escorts.

Everyone gets bored of each other within less than 10 messages (unless you actually find the rare person who you actually like talking to), and there are so many racist people out there that I now am only am comfortable dating other black men...

Things white guys have sent me on grindr as an opening line:

- a pic of them sucking another black guy's dick
- saying they "need a big nigger dick" in them
- "All Lives Matter" (my profile said #BLM so idk what his strategy was with this)
A/S/L?
 
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Oct 29, 2017
91
So you have preference towards asian girls, yet are complaining about non-asian girls having preference towards non-asian guys. Do you not see the hypocrisy in that?

It's not the same.

I prefer to date black women not because I believe other women aren't attractive (read: inferior), but because I and others have learned from experience non-black women, especially white women, harbor anti-black prejudice, no matter how progressive and liberal they present as or believe themselves to be. For many, that prejudice operates invisibly, to them, in their minds and lives. It's not something we want in our relationships, so we don't date white people.

You'd be hard pressed to find many black people who will state they only find black people attractive. But you don't have to look far to find white folks who will emphatically say things like, "I just don't find black women/men attractive."

When questioned by a POC on this, they will say things like: "That's my preference, it doesn't make me a racist! You're a racist for suggesting I might be racist! How dare you suggest I'm just like every other white person! White people are different! We're individuals!" All the while selectively ignoring that their distaste for black people (or "preference") is part of a quantifiable pattern that is represented across all white people.

When questioned by another white person, they'll say all the things that prove their preference is a consequence of white supremacist brainwashing that tells them their entire lives they're better than everyone else just because they're white. They won't fear being called racist by another white person and will speak freely.

The basis for my "preference" isn't a sense that black people are superior or that white people are ugly, it's that I can't find white people who genuinely relate to how I experience life, and I'd rather not waste my time on someone who is just going to fetishize or otherwise disappoint me. For white people, the basis is damn near always racism.
 
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TickleMeElbow

Member
Oct 31, 2017
2,668
Not from the get go, and I think technically answering either white or asian for us is fine. We are both.

Aside from that I was the Rachel Dolezal of the online dating scene circa early 2015. lol.

Nah what I meant by the "get go" was what if you hit it off with someone who thought you were Latino or whatever because that's what you put on your profile, then they find out you're not?

Anyways yeah I'd feel uncomfortable claiming white because I don't really look white, nor do I identify as such haha.
 

LilWayneSuckz

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,820
It's not the same.

I prefer to date black women not because I believe other women aren't attractive (read: inferior), but because I and others have learned from experience non-black women, especially white women, harbor anti-black prejudice, no matter how progressive and liberal they present as or believe themselves to be. For many, that prejudice operates invisibly, to them, in their minds and lives. It's not something we want in our relationships, so we don't date white people.

You'd be hard pressed to find many black people who will state they only find black people attractive. But you don't have to look far to find white folks who will emphatically say things like, "I just don't find black women/men attractive."

When questioned by a POC on this, they will say things like: "That's my preference, it doesn't make me a racist! You're a racist for suggesting I might be racist! How dare you suggest I'm just like every other white person! White people are different! We're individuals!" All the while selectively ignoring that their distaste for black people (or "preference") is part of a quantifiable pattern that is represented across all white people.

When questioned by another white person, they'll say all the things that prove their preference is a consequence of white supremacist brainwashing that tells them their entire lives they're better than everyone else just because they're white.

The basis for my "preference" isn't a sense that black people are superior or that white people are ugly, it's that I can't find white people who genuinely relate to how I experience life, and I'd rather not waste my time on someone who is just going to fetishize or otherwise disappoint me. For white people, the basis is damn near always racism.

Bingo!
 

Zelda

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,079
It's not the same.

I prefer to date black women not because I believe other women aren't attractive (read: inferior), but because I and others have learned from experience non-black women, especially white women, harbor anti-black prejudice, no matter how progressive and liberal they present as or believe themselves to be. For many, that prejudice operates invisibly, to them, in their minds and lives. It's not something we want in our relationships, so we don't date white people.

You'd be hard pressed to find many black people who will state they only find black people attractive. But you don't have to look far to find white folks who will emphatically say things like, "I just don't find black women/men attractive."

When questioned by a POC on this, they will say things like: "That's my preference, it doesn't make me a racist! You're a racist for suggesting I might be racist! How dare you suggest I'm just like every other white person! White people are different! We're individuals!" All the while selectively ignoring that their distaste for black people (or "preference") is part of a quantifiable pattern that is represented across all white people.

When questioned by another white person, they'll say all the things that prove their preference is a consequence of white supremacist brainwashing that tells them their entire lives they're better than everyone else just because they're white.

The basis for my "preference" isn't a sense that black people are superior or that white people are ugly, it's that I can't find white people who genuinely relate to how I experience life, and I'd rather not waste my time on someone who is just going to fetishize or otherwise disappoint me. For white people, the basis is damn near always racism.
I understand, and don't disagree with most of what you're saying as there are certainly white women like that that you've mentioned. But not all white women are like that and some genuinely do have preference towards black men. Where do you live, if you don't mind me asking, where you can't find a single white woman who isn't racist? I live in Seattle and have met several interracial / black male white female (and vice versa) couples in long term happy relationships.

No? He says he has a preference, not that he isn't into other types of girls or intentionally ignores them
It's a lot easier for girls to find dudes than for dudes to find girls. Because of this it's easier for girls to pick what their preference is, even if that preference is ridiculously nitpicky (high paying job, full head of hair, fit athletic body, certain height, preferred ethnicity, etc). If they have a certain preference and have 100 or more dudes to choose from it's unlikely they'll run out of what they prefer before they get to secondary or tertiary preferences. When girls have unlimited options it's not that they're "ignoring" what they don't like it's that they simply don't have the necessity to choose secondary options.
 
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gcwy

Member
Oct 27, 2017
8,685
Houston, TX
I don't think I've ever used an online dating app. You can always find people to meet IRL even if you're a NEET. Go to a bar, or a public library.
 

LilWayneSuckz

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,820
I understand, and don't disagree with most of what you're saying as there are certainly white women like that that you've mentioned. But not all white women are like that and some genuinely do have preference towards black men. Where do you live, if you don't mind me asking, where you can't find a single white woman who isn't racist? I live in Seattle and have met several interracial / black male white female (and vice versa) couples in long term happy relationships.

Have you cared to ask why these white women have a "preference" for black men? And are you familiar with pornography?...
 
Oct 29, 2017
91
I understand, and don't disagree with most of what you're saying as there are certainly white women like that that you've mentioned. But not all white women are like that and some genuinely do have preference towards black men. Where do you live, if you don't mind me asking, where you can't find a single white woman who isn't racist? I live in Seattle and have met several interracial / black male white female (and vice versa) couples in long term happy relationships.

I've lived all over the world and all over the US, including in the PNW. The PNW is notoriously anti-black. The existence of interracial couples in long-term happy relationships does not prove the majority of white people are not racist.

And yes, I could find a white woman who isn't racist where I live now. But it would take a great deal of effort, and I don't have a burning desire to be with a white woman, so I'll leave it to other people to filter through the bullshit.

So no, not all white women. I never said all white women. I said most, even the vast majority, and I firmly stand by that. And if you don't believe this is true, check the data and then have a think on how you've never been a POC dating a white person, never will be, and so your perspective is about as reliable as a blind man's perspective on a painting. Listen to POC. We're not lying to you. You're just wrong.

When girls have unlimited options it's not that they're "ignoring" what they don't like it's that simply they simply don't have the necessity to choose secondary options.

When all your "secondary options" are black, it's not just a preference, it's you operating consciously or unconsciously out of racism.
 
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LilWayneSuckz

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,820
Asking something like that from a woman in a relationship with a black man would be rude. But I was also talking about long term relationships, not some one night stands.

Who's to say that a one night stand may not turn into a long term relationship?

The point of the matter is, black men have a tendency to be fetishized by white women. Anecdotal, I know, but I personally was in a relationship with a man who was formerly in a "long term relationship" with a white woman who called him racial slurs in arguments and still wanted to get back together with him.

We know exactly what we're talking about when we say we have a distrust as black people in dating outside of our race. The important factor is not outright dismissing people because of the color of their skin; thats inherently racist.
 

Zelda

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,079
So on one hand white women don't date black men because of conscious/unconscious racism, and on the other hand when they do date black men it's out of conscious/unconscious racist fetishism? What's the solution to this?
 

SHØGVN

Member
Oct 29, 2017
258
It's not the same.

I prefer to date black women not because I believe other women aren't attractive (read: inferior), but because I and others have learned from experience non-black women, especially white women, harbor anti-black prejudice, no matter how progressive and liberal they present as or believe themselves to be. For many, that prejudice operates invisibly, to them, in their minds and lives. It's not something we want in our relationships, so we don't date white people.

You'd be hard pressed to find many black people who will state they only find black people attractive. But you don't have to look far to find white folks who will emphatically say things like, "I just don't find black women/men attractive."

When questioned by a POC on this, they will say things like: "That's my preference, it doesn't make me a racist! You're a racist for suggesting I might be racist! How dare you suggest I'm just like every other white person! White people are different! We're individuals!" All the while selectively ignoring that their distaste for black people (or "preference") is part of a quantifiable pattern that is represented across all white people.

When questioned by another white person, they'll say all the things that prove their preference is a consequence of white supremacist brainwashing that tells them their entire lives they're better than everyone else just because they're white. They won't fear being called racist by another white person and will speak freely.

The basis for my "preference" isn't a sense that black people are superior or that white people are ugly, it's that I can't find white people who genuinely relate to how I experience life, and I'd rather not waste my time on someone who is just going to fetishize or otherwise disappoint me. For white people, the basis is damn near always racism.

Exactly this, except I'm an Asian guy. Also I didn't mean to say I think non-Asian girls are ugly or inferior, I've simply given up on finding one who's attracted to me without having some k-pop idol fetish.

The funny thing is if you flip the genders it's the opposite. Asian women are very attractive to many white men because they've been exoticised and sexualised in Western media for decades. Sometimes that's some real racism right there.
 
Oct 29, 2017
91
So on one hand white women don't date black men because of racism, and on the other hand when they do date black men it's out of racist fetishism? What's the solution to this?

The solution is white people need to start challenging themselves and challenging each other to be better. We'll see if that happens!
 

SHØGVN

Member
Oct 29, 2017
258
I understand, and don't disagree with most of what you're saying as there are certainly white women like that that you've mentioned. But not all white women are like that and some genuinely do have preference towards black men. Where do you live, if you don't mind me asking, where you can't find a single white woman who isn't racist? I live in Seattle and have met several interracial / black male white female (and vice versa) couples in long term happy relationships.


It's a lot easier for girls to find dudes than for dudes to find girls. Because of this it's easier for girls to pick what their preference is, even if that preference is ridiculously nitpicky (high paying job, full head of hair, fit athletic body, certain height, preferred ethnicity, etc). If they have a certain preference and have 100 or more dudes to choose from it's unlikely they'll run out of what they prefer before they get to secondary or tertiary preferences. When girls have unlimited options it's not that they're "ignoring" what they don't like it's that they simply don't have the necessity to choose secondary options.

Wow so you're actually saying it's fine girls see non-white races as secondary or tertiary preferences? Can you hear yourself and how that might be offensive to PoC?
 

LilWayneSuckz

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,820
So on one hand white women don't date black men because of racism, and on the other hand when they do date black men it's out of racist fetishism. What's the solution to this?

You're initial argument was preferences with race wasn't racist, when in actuality it is given the context.

If you are going out on dating websites saying "I will only date 'X race'" then in my humble opinion, you are being racist or engaging in racism. This is not exclusive to white women. However, you need to examine why you feel this is acceptable to only date "X race."

Is it because you can empathize with their struggle, as you are both people of color (perhaps of the same race)? Or because you have been brainwashed into believing they are superior over other races

IMO the former is acceptable, but crude and not at all appropriate given we would all like to believe that you can do better as a person in 2018; the latter is not.

It's also true you can just find a person who is of any race who you truly love, like, etc., however, that person most likely is not going to specify in a dating profile that they prefer "X race" over another.
 

LilWayneSuckz

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,820
Perhaps they simply find black men more attractive. I generally do and I really don't see a problem with that.

My counter argument would be, why do you find them more attractive than others to the point that you would need to state it in your online dating profile?

Because that goes with fetishizing their race/gender, as no black man looks the same or acts the same.
 

Renna Hazel

Member
Oct 27, 2017
11,592
My counter argument would be, why do you find them more attractive than others to the point that you would need to state it in your online dating profile?

Because that goes with fetishizing their race/gender, as no black man looks the same or acts the same.
I wouldn't find the need to state that in a dating profile, but I feel the preference still exists. I think there is a difference between a general preference and a fetish.
 
Oct 25, 2017
565
Perhaps they simply find black men more attractive. I generally do and I really don't see a problem with that.
Define black.
Are you talking Moroccan black, New Guinea black, sub-Saharan black, etc. What do these diverse cultural groups have besides their skin color? Would you reject an American black man who looks white due to the rape of his ancestors?

Would you reject a northern African who could pass for Arabic?

Please define a feature/s solely belonging to African heritage groups. Define the level of blackness you find attractive.
 

LilWayneSuckz

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,820
I wouldn't find the need to state that in a dating profile, but I feel the preference still exists. I think there is a difference between a general preference and a fetish.

What is your "preference" though? Their skin tone, their nose, their hair, their bone structure...? No matter what you say, its fetishizing the way they look if you only actively are seeking black men. "Preference" regarding race is simply racism.

You should not be actively seeking out men, woman, or gender non-conformative people because they are of a certain race, simply because you find them "more attractive."
 

Karsticles

Self-Requested Ban
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,198
My counter argument would be, why do you find them more attractive than others to the point that you would need to state it in your online dating profile?

Because that goes with fetishizing their race/gender, as no black man looks the same or acts the same.
Do you think that preferring dark skin is inherently different from other preferences, like hair color?