IIRC my kids' middle school has a policy like this. It's well-meaning in that it tries to make these years, which are really hard, easier and less awkward, but it's not a workable thing.
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O_o: School policy forbids kids from saying 'no' when asked to dance
- Thread starter excelsiorlef
- Start date
I think the problem is that your teacher created a situation where the boys had to go asking girls to dance with them in a forced setting. Why do that? I remember doing some paired dancing in gym and it was always randomly assigned by the teacher. You weren't necessarily paired with the opposite sex because someone would get left out anyway but also because it wasn't the point. The point was to learn the dance, it had nothing to do with romance. Your mental health and self-esteem should not have even been a factor in the lesson.
As for dance events that have a more romantic theme, like a Valentine's Day dance for crying out loud, those obviously should be optional. Imagine forcing a girl to go with a guy to the winter formal because of men's mental health. That's not the girl's responsibility. I don't think they should be having mandatory daytime Valentine's Day dances for 11 year olds anyway. In the story, the principal said the mom should take her kid home that day in the future - like they really don't have anything else going on that day that the kid can do? When I was in middle school, the winter and spring dances were after school hours and Valentine's Day just meant you'd get candy in class.
Those gym days when they busted out Cottoneye Joe and Cha Cha Slide were lit. Best gym days outside of dodgeball and when they brought out the little gym scooters.
Dancing was part of compulsory P.E. education when I was in school. I think you wouldn't be allowed to skip class, but you would be allowed to choose whoever you wanted, including someone the same gender, to pair up with for pair dances. I don't think there was ever anyone who never got paired. The teacher would always find a way to ensure everyone had a partner without the need for this kind of rule.
Basically when we practiced dances for the school dance you had to partner up but it was your choice who you choose, boys on one side of the gym, girls on the other and one side would choose for some dances then the other side chooses, you don't force it, sure you might not get your choice but you just joined with whoever and practiced the dances. It can be awkward as hell as most kid situations like that but you roll with it because everyone else is too and it's all good in the end and you don't act like a lemon at the real dance because it's not awkward anymore.
What they done in the OP, that is awful and backwards.
What they done in the OP, that is awful and backwards.
That logic implies women owe something to men, but we don't.
How about you just don't reinforce and normalise patriarchal oppression and force young girls to do what men want them to? Women have a right to choose and I am sick of us being told that we don't have that choice or shouldn't have that choice because a man's feelings might be hurt. What about our feelings?
Do you have any idea how many young women are abused by men because we're told our entire lives that being dutiful and servile is a woman's job? It is not a woman's job to protect a man's ego and if I had to choose between a man's ego being hurt or a woman's self-worth being degraded, there's no contest.
I have no problem with telling my daughter to say no in cases like this. The school can deal with me after. That's a dumb policy.
I think the first time I ever danced was when I was twelve or thirteen years old, attending a kind of "orientation" for the local high school I was presumably going to attend. Separated by sex and herded into the gym's studio for a dancing lesson from the school's instructor with other boys from my class. Paired up, shown the steps, here's the music, then get to it while everyone watches. There I was, an introverted thirteen year old nerd forced to dance for the first time with another person, and it's another guy in front of a room full of guys who routinely made my daily school life an ordeal.
In my opinion just get rid of school dances entirely at this point. Not sure about everyone else's experience but the few that I went to back in 2009ish when I was in junior high were terrible.
Everyone is awkward as fuck and no one goes home feeling great about themselves. They actually ended up cancelling them entirely when I got to grade 10 because all the high school students just used them as an excuse to smuggle in alcohol and drink. There wasnt enough interest in them from junior high kids either
A relic better left in the past
Everyone is awkward as fuck and no one goes home feeling great about themselves. They actually ended up cancelling them entirely when I got to grade 10 because all the high school students just used them as an excuse to smuggle in alcohol and drink. There wasnt enough interest in them from junior high kids either
A relic better left in the past
One of those things that out of touch people dream up trying to make sure everyone is included but in reality removes the agency that people, regardless of age, should have over their lives.
Were those guys homophobic? That's not the school problem, dances classes are to learn how to dance.
This. Sorry but kids need to learn how to take a god damned L.
No, sometimes someone won't wanna rock with you. That's life. It's ok. Rejection is a part of life. Chin up, keep moving.
Why are these schools enforcing policies that create a group of people who will inevitably view consent as something trivial.
Jesus, that's not ok, consent is a thing.
Not that getting shot down at the school dance is fun, but it's important to be told no, how the hell are they going to go out in the real world later.
Not that getting shot down at the school dance is fun, but it's important to be told no, how the hell are they going to go out in the real world later.
It was thirty years ago, and a private Catholic school in the South; everyone on some level was homophobic including me.
I mean, theres no way to enforce that right? She could just not dance with him and go dance with someone else
