As someone with a lot of things, it is not all that it is cracked up to be. Trust me. I know it doesn't make sense and people will roll their eyes, but it is true.
I collect books, manga, films, animation, comic books, board games, video games.....all kinds of shit. I spend a lot of my time researching new things constantly, curating my private library. All that time curating my shit is time I am not actively using it.
1. Time - There is never enough time for me to enjoy my things. While some of us have more means, nobody can get more time.
There is a very real phenomena that occurs when someone has a lot of stuff, that prevents that person from enjoying it.
2. Decision paralysis - Ok, so say you have access to essentially every film/book/game. How do you choose what to watch? What to read? What to play? You will never keep up. You will always second-guess your choices of time-sink, always.
I grew up poor, so I know the difference. Being poor sucks, but sometimes I fantasize about having less - if only because I can focus on a single thing and truly appreciate it. I look with envy to those who can truly master a game. Games are incredibly dense sources of entertainment that poor and wealthy can both enjoy. I just have access to more games for which I spend less than the average gamer playing. That makes me more of a gaming tourist than a specialist.
Having means leads to added stress and responsibility. I am approaching the threshold of what I can honestly deal with. Everything comes with a price, means included. Oftentimes I wonder whether it is worth it. I'd almost rather have 1-2 games, and a lot less responsibility.
I have a large house, that the rest of my family refuses to visit, even during Thanksgiving time. They would rather stay at my parents with a much smaller house. My home is literally a funhouse of entertainment. My wife struggles with constant and pervasive depression. On the bad days, her brains tells her that I am her enemy and that she hates me. On the good days, she wakes from the fugue and I get to see the person I chose to marry. I spend a lot of my time and means trying to make her happy. Let me tell you - stuff means nothing, wealth means nothing to this problem. It requires an infinite amount of time and patience.
I have two beautiful and brilliant children. I cannot say anything more about them other than most of the time I feel like a failure to them. I work a lot, to maintain our means, which means I miss a lot in their lives. I stress eat and have little time for exercise, so I am mildly obese, which prevents me from playing with them in a way that would bring them the most joy.
Obtaining means is like like the story of Icarus. If you fly too close to the sun, it will destroy you.
While I have many struggles, I understand everyone has their own set of problems - rich, poor, whatever. I am incredibly thankful for what I have, but I also understand that if I want more there is a logarithmic function that will bring me more problems if I reach for more. Nowadays, I mostly live for others, not myself. The things I buy and curate are for other people to enjoy and for me to enjoy with them - mostly my wife and kids. They will get the junk I leave behind and probably hate me for it eventually.
I wish life were simpler. I don't think I have met anyone who is truly happy - wealth or not. Sometimes I dream about the end of civilization.
