No, that's giving into your kids even if you know it's wrong.
I know a number of fantastic parents with great kids who refuse to let their kids have a cell phone until they're a certain age. No social media, nothing.
-
Ever wanted an RSS feed of all your favorite gaming news sites? Go check out our new Gaming Headlines feed! Read more about it here.
-
We have made minor adjustments to how the search bar works on ResetEra. You can read about the changes here.
Ninja has some harsh words about Fortnite ‘rehab’ and parental responsibility
- Thread starter Deleted member 2172
- Start date
No, that's giving into your kids even if you know it's wrong.
I know a number of fantastic parents with great kids who refuse to let their kids have a cell phone until they're a certain age. No social media, nothing.
I work in a call center and it's easy to be jaded when we have an outage or maintenance work going on for a few hours during the day and then the parent on phone tells me ' So what are my children supposed to do'' I don't know how about go outside, read a book, or actually parent them.
It gets trickier and trickier to limit access to a kid but it's doable. It requires technical knowledge on the part of the parent and it seems to be declining. People born in the 90's are about as bad in general as elderly. People born in 70-85's are generally the most savy technically. (I speak to about 10k people per year so not the biggest sample size). For people saying you need a cell phone or doesn't wanna pay for a landline since it's mostly useless in this day and age, you can get a dirt cheap VoIP line and you hook up a good old phone on it. Only problem is if the internet is down you don't have phone.
It gets trickier and trickier to limit access to a kid but it's doable. It requires technical knowledge on the part of the parent and it seems to be declining. People born in the 90's are about as bad in general as elderly. People born in 70-85's are generally the most savy technically. (I speak to about 10k people per year so not the biggest sample size). For people saying you need a cell phone or doesn't wanna pay for a landline since it's mostly useless in this day and age, you can get a dirt cheap VoIP line and you hook up a good old phone on it. Only problem is if the internet is down you don't have phone.
After the turn of the century tech became so easy to use you stopped needing to know actually how it worked to make good use of it.
There isn't enough education for parents about this stuff, and the industry wants it that way to be honest. I could go into my router settings and completely block Fortnite from connecting, but the average non-enthusiast parent won't have a clue about that.
Zeo, we´ll talk again once you have kids and you actually know what you are talking about.
I like you, but this leads nowhere.
Just lean back a bit and realize that you think a 25 yo boy with blue hair, who plays videogames 24/7 (but is afraid of girls so he wont play with them) is giving spot on parenting advice.
This. When I was like 11 (started going out unsupervised with friends to the mall and stuff) to 15 (first cell phone) we all always had some spare coins for a payphone or you could ask any of your buddies to lend you 20 cents to call your parents to pick you up or something. Now that's not an option. There are more electronic devices connected to the internet nowadays, yes. It's also easier than EVER to put all kind of parental controls and supervising tools on them. As adults we also have to do our part reporting kids accounts in social media since in most countries it's not allowed to have an account on Twitter/IG/FB for kids under 14 or so.
The problem is that i guy like me, who doesnt have kids yet, knows more about raising kids up than people who have kids. For example: My nephew is always in his room playing fortnite and watching youtube. His grades are bad. The parents dont do anything about it. I would just kill his internet connection and tell him that he can now earn his internet connection back by being good in school.
I will raise my kids up where they can earn there time to use a TV, a tablet or a console by being good in the household and in the school.
Another example: Friends have 2 Daughters they started to overreact to everything and never listening to their parents. Since they arent allow to watch tv, play on the tablet or use the Switch anymore... they started going back to reading Books and became more calm in their daily habits.
I will raise my kids up where they can earn there time to use a TV, a tablet or a console by being good in the household and in the school.
Another example: Friends have 2 Daughters they started to overreact to everything and never listening to their parents. Since they arent allow to watch tv, play on the tablet or use the Switch anymore... they started going back to reading Books and became more calm in their daily habits.
Lmao naive as HELL. "I know fantastic parents with great kids" is the biggest tell that you have no idea what you're talking about.
It is no doubt a crazy situation. My 11 year old is deep in it like most his age and he gets a Battle pass every 2-3 months or so when they come out if he is good, and rarely some V - bucks for milestone situations (good job on the report card, that sort of thing).
But this past weekend he came from his cousins birthday party at his house (also a Fortnite player)- this kid had like dozens of skins tied to his account- and not battle pass ones, but those that cost $12 to $20, each individually. Literally pages full of skins, and the same applied for dances, pickaxes, gliders, etc.
My kid got into a crying fit about it (why does his cousin get these and HE doesn't). And yeah, his cousin is quite an unruly kid and his parents aren't near as strict as us. My kid also swears up and down ALL of his friends automatically get $20 in V bucks EVERY week from mom and dad.
But I'm just like," LOL deal with it kid."
Where his cousin is concerned:
1. Unfortunately, his cousins parents make way more money than us. I don't have money for that shit. That is fact. But even if we had the money for it....
2. I wouldn't be spending hundreds upon hundreds just so this kid can have endless Fortnite skins anyway- that is fukinuts!!
Like I said, he gets the $10 battle pass out of me every few months (if he is good of course, pulling good grades, etc) - plus maybe an occasional $10 once in a blue moon. That's it. He' s free to spend his own money from Birthday/Christmas presents on that shit, but that's all he's getting from me. And many a time he's gotten Fortnite taken away for coming home with a scummy test score, or for mouthing off (happens a lot especially when its time for him to turn off and come to dinner, or go to school/practice/out of the house in general. But you know, its like if you are going to bitch at us because we are making you disconnect for a few hours to do something else, then you are going to take a break playing for a week.
I mean, taking your kid to some "rehab" in lieu of just doing the easy, free, and far more effective thing of "taking the damn game console away" is just absolutely insane.
But this past weekend he came from his cousins birthday party at his house (also a Fortnite player)- this kid had like dozens of skins tied to his account- and not battle pass ones, but those that cost $12 to $20, each individually. Literally pages full of skins, and the same applied for dances, pickaxes, gliders, etc.
My kid got into a crying fit about it (why does his cousin get these and HE doesn't). And yeah, his cousin is quite an unruly kid and his parents aren't near as strict as us. My kid also swears up and down ALL of his friends automatically get $20 in V bucks EVERY week from mom and dad.
But I'm just like," LOL deal with it kid."
Where his cousin is concerned:
1. Unfortunately, his cousins parents make way more money than us. I don't have money for that shit. That is fact. But even if we had the money for it....
2. I wouldn't be spending hundreds upon hundreds just so this kid can have endless Fortnite skins anyway- that is fukinuts!!
Like I said, he gets the $10 battle pass out of me every few months (if he is good of course, pulling good grades, etc) - plus maybe an occasional $10 once in a blue moon. That's it. He' s free to spend his own money from Birthday/Christmas presents on that shit, but that's all he's getting from me. And many a time he's gotten Fortnite taken away for coming home with a scummy test score, or for mouthing off (happens a lot especially when its time for him to turn off and come to dinner, or go to school/practice/out of the house in general. But you know, its like if you are going to bitch at us because we are making you disconnect for a few hours to do something else, then you are going to take a break playing for a week.
I mean, taking your kid to some "rehab" in lieu of just doing the easy, free, and far more effective thing of "taking the damn game console away" is just absolutely insane.
Sure, parents have the biggest responsibility. Parents sending their kids to rehab for video game addiction is acting on that responsibility. Though I don't know why Ninja's comment is a headline. It's one throwaway sentence from what I gather. It's not like he deep dived on the issue, until I'm missing a blog post from him or something.
Also worth to remember, that losing oneself into video games can also just be a symptom of something else. It can be used as an escape, video games aren't necessarily (usually) the root cause for the problems.
Also socializing online isn't a substitute for proper contact/interaction with other people.
Comparing video game addiction to heroin is bit much too though. Bit like comparing XP boosters to cancer.
Also worth to remember, that losing oneself into video games can also just be a symptom of something else. It can be used as an escape, video games aren't necessarily (usually) the root cause for the problems.
Also socializing online isn't a substitute for proper contact/interaction with other people.
Comparing video game addiction to heroin is bit much too though. Bit like comparing XP boosters to cancer.
Last edited:
That's a good point I never really gave it much thought before reading this thread. As for my ISP we offer a parental control and we can help people with our router to limit their access but I have no clue if all the big ISP provides this or anything. We are the biggest ISP in Quebec but compared to Verizon, Comcast etc we are hilariously tiny so I don't know how it is in the US.
As a single parent and going through the Fortnite thing with my 7 year old, sometimes I do worry he's TOO into it, but I feel like I do a pretty good job controlling the situation. We do homework, then we study, then we have dinner, I get him to shower/get on his pajamas/brush his teeth, and then he can play all he wants till bedtime, and that's usually 2 or 2.5 hours. Maybe that's too long? But at least he's done with everything else first.
And he found out a long time ago, Vbucks are only for birthdays, report cards or Christmas. I'm not paying just because some skin hit the shop.
And I always tell him (probably just because Fornite worries me), if it becomes a problem, you don't play anymore. And so far, he's not making it a problem. Fingers crossed.
And he found out a long time ago, Vbucks are only for birthdays, report cards or Christmas. I'm not paying just because some skin hit the shop.
And I always tell him (probably just because Fornite worries me), if it becomes a problem, you don't play anymore. And so far, he's not making it a problem. Fingers crossed.
You need to stop. You keep showing that you have no idea what you're talking about.
You're not a movie maker so please don't judge revenge of the siths, it is a masterpiece (i'm an expert)
Kids don't play outside anymore.
I live in a good suburban neighborhood and even on my street, lots of families with multiple kids. I almost never see them playing outside. It's usually just me and my kids. My son doesn't like to play outside because no one else is outside. So he just watches TV.
I limit his PS4 time to 1 hour. Bless the family controls on the PS4.
But I do dread the day my son gets his own phone.
I live in a good suburban neighborhood and even on my street, lots of families with multiple kids. I almost never see them playing outside. It's usually just me and my kids. My son doesn't like to play outside because no one else is outside. So he just watches TV.
I limit his PS4 time to 1 hour. Bless the family controls on the PS4.
But I do dread the day my son gets his own phone.
Apples and oranges. Saying you like a movie or not ≠ giving directing advice to JJ Abrams.
It's pretty uncool of you to smugly mock other parents, despite not being a parent yourself.
This whole thing is basically one exploitative unethical industry latching on to the sudden spike in popularity of another exploitattive unethical industry, thanks to their target demographic (concerned parents) having a very vague understanding of how both work.
I have started to notice this as well and it's been pretty shocking. It's why I don't automatically assume someone younger will be knowledgeable or of help. It's why I get frustrated when I encounter parents that talk about how good their child is at computers, etc. No they're not. Them simply reading instructions on how to do something doesn't mean they're good with computers or technology. They barely even know how to fix an issue on their own phones half the time and they're always using that. Seeing how kids have changed has been depressing at times and being in IT and in and out of class rooms of all grade levels, computer labs, etc year after year I've seen the change. We used to have some of the more knowledge students in our district work as computer aides to help our techs. I remember doing that in high school myself. There were limited spots. We no longer due to that and haven't done that in years cause the interest, general knowledge, and the critical thinking isn't there a lot of the time.
So you are going to smugly proclaim your ignorance and then suggest that you somehow have a greater understanding?
I have a 10 year old and a 7 year old. When I say 'it's time to do something besides sit on the computer or play with your tablet,' they get off of their computer or tablet and do something else. If they don't, I unplug the computer or take the tablet from them. This is basic parenting.
Pretty much how I was raised on that front. Game consoles been around for decades. I wanted to play games all day every day. Games aren't beamed directly into our brains, you still play them on a physical device of some sort that is easy to pick up and move. Changing tech hasn't changed the physics behind picking up small boxes.
I don't see why you need to pit addictions against each other like this. The psychologist is using that as a comparison point because most people understand that heroin addiction is harmful, but lack an understanding of how video game addiction can be harmful. He's not saying that video games are as inherently harmful as heroin, but he is saying the underlying factors that lead to addiction are similar...which is true. Yes, your child is not going to overdose on Fortnite...but a video game addiction can still be harmful, and can still lead to death (see the numerous people who have died in internet cafes) or other psychological harm.
I have two boys (10 and 13) who love playing this game. I put a cap on spending and playtime. I don't care how much money they have saved, they can only spend $15 a month on it (I consider this similar to an MMO monthly fee).
I also only allow them to play 1 hour on school nights and 2-3 hours on non-school nights.
I get complaints on both caps, but this is where I have to look out for the welfare of my children and be their parent, not their friend.
That being said, there are some kids that probably do get addicted and try to play from school, sneak onto the computer or phone at night etc.
In my opinion we need to look at this in a more holistic manner and not immediately blame all parents for a lack of discipline.
I also only allow them to play 1 hour on school nights and 2-3 hours on non-school nights.
I get complaints on both caps, but this is where I have to look out for the welfare of my children and be their parent, not their friend.
That being said, there are some kids that probably do get addicted and try to play from school, sneak onto the computer or phone at night etc.
In my opinion we need to look at this in a more holistic manner and not immediately blame all parents for a lack of discipline.
In my experience, kids who have things taken away will get it through some other means. I was a good kid, but if I had my games taken away, I'd be at my friends' houses playing... erm, "studying". It's not so black and white as the "take it away, they'll focus on something more wholesome" thing I'm seeing here.
No those dumb fucking "if you don't have children you don't even know basic shit like maybe pay attention to what your child does" posts. Every fucking parenting thread.
We even have SEVERAL parents in this thread, hell even this page saying they can handle their kids' gaming.
But no, kids are absolutely impossible to handle and if you take away their games they will steal a PS4 at gamestop to play anyway.
So riddle me this: What the fuck goes trough a non parents head when they enter a parenting thread to give advice to actual parents?
Garbage parents are a problem. Good parents exist still. It could be a revelation.
Every bad parent thinks they're a good parent and kids are animals you can't manage.
Seems to be a whole lot of Parents in here trying to justify their using a Cell Phone as a Baby Sitter.
My son is not aloud to play with Cell Phones, can only play video games with me or his mom and is only allowed to watch TV and Movies with the Family.
No Baby Sitting with the TV, Games or Phones.
He behaves in public, does not throw temper tantrums and is perfectly social-able with others.
I understand that there are people out their who's circumstances do not allow for the level of attentive parenting that is really necessary to prevent children from playing games too much, but these are the exception, not the rule.
You can take offense to what Ninja has said if you want, but you should really look at the message and not the words.
Video Game Addiction is NOT the fault of the Game. It is the Fault of the Parent who does not engage their child to pull them out of the game. No one is saying a parent can cure video game addiction by taking away their children's games. They are saying the parents have CAUSED the Video Game Addition by refusing(or in rare cases being unable) to do the actual Job of Being a Parent.
My son is not aloud to play with Cell Phones, can only play video games with me or his mom and is only allowed to watch TV and Movies with the Family.
No Baby Sitting with the TV, Games or Phones.
He behaves in public, does not throw temper tantrums and is perfectly social-able with others.
I understand that there are people out their who's circumstances do not allow for the level of attentive parenting that is really necessary to prevent children from playing games too much, but these are the exception, not the rule.
You can take offense to what Ninja has said if you want, but you should really look at the message and not the words.
Video Game Addiction is NOT the fault of the Game. It is the Fault of the Parent who does not engage their child to pull them out of the game. No one is saying a parent can cure video game addiction by taking away their children's games. They are saying the parents have CAUSED the Video Game Addition by refusing(or in rare cases being unable) to do the actual Job of Being a Parent.
This was actually just on the local news here in Orlando I am amazed but not surprised every few years popular games get shit on because of the lack of parenting skills. I have a kid she plays games but if it got the point where it started effecting her grades and/or social aspects of life it would get taken away. Seeing other parents at school events I'm not surprised by this kind of thing at all many of them shouldn't be allowed to have kids.
I mean, even if you don't have kids you can know good parenting from bad based on your own experience, the experience of seeing other parenting styles from when you were a kid, and what you see around you now.
I've seen moms busy on their phones while their kids are tugging at their jackets to get their attention and the mom says "just a fucking second".
I don't need to be a scientist to have an opinion on climate change, just like someone without a driver's license doesn't need one to have an opinion on someone's driving.
This is sort of a brick wall because they don't like they're being told sort of defensive mechanism, IMO.
Good point. It's like the solution for depression in kids is "just play with them a lot more, lol".
Parenting is as simple as watching movies. You fucking nailed it
Except I do.
This above-it-all pretentious attitude from some of you is really gross.
I'm an intelligent person. I understand when I see someone being a good parent.
Most good parents point out that it isn't that cut and dry. Any parent claiming they do everything perfectly and their child responds ideally is a liar, in deep denial, or raising robots.
I personally don't find parenting super difficult, but I have a real good kid who listens well and makes it easy. Not everyone is that lucky. Even with a good kid, parenting is tiring, it's sometimes demoralizing and even if you think you're doing everything right you still don't know. You can be a good parent and not have a great kid, also.
It's not as simple as you're making it out to be and if you've got a huge issue with it...leave?
This is the thing. If there's a few examples of parents being able to let their kids function without this shit, there's not really any viable weight to "this stuff is essential for kids these days."
It can be done, people just choose not to do it - it's way easier not to. I don't have kids, so who knows, maybe I'll be one of these parents, but I'd like to think I wouldn't have kids unless I was ready to deal with this shit.
I think one of the larger issues I've seen lately is too many parents not taking the time to actively parent. I see and hear too many stories about parents that are just trying to keep their kids occupied so they can get things done.
For example, my wife was talking to her two best friends the other day about going to the grocery store and how one of our daughters (I have 3) was having a hard time. They asked if we had forgotten to charge the iPads. They mentioned that they can't take their kids anywhere without the iPads, and that not charging them was a rookie mistake. I was flabbergasted. I have a completely different experience taking my kids to the grocery store; I love taking the two older ones, as it gives me a chance to talk to them about where foods come from, how manufacturing works, and just spend time talking with them. That's active parenting.
I'm not saying this is easy, it's not, it takes effort and patience. It would be vastly easier for me to hand them a tablet and ignore them. And I'm not perfect, by any means. Saturday mornings I have a lot of yard work to do, because I was an idiot that bought a house in a forest, and sometimes turn on some cartoons for the kids to watch while I get work done. But, what I try to do is get the kids involved; get them to help rake leaves, pick up branches, help push the lawn mower (they don't really help that much but they sure like to think they do). Once again, it takes effort, but it's 100% worth it. I think too often though I see parents taking the easy way out, rather than making the effort.
In regards to video games, I spend a decent amount of my time to sit and play games WITH them. I know some parents don't enjoy gaming, but that's not what it's about. It's about spending time with your kids doing things they enjoy. I don't like playing with Barbies, but I do it all the time. I really don't like playing Anna and Elsa, and my voice isn't great, but I want to be an active parent. Because when you are actively parenting, you learn so much more about your children, and you can much more easily monitor what and how much the play and watch.
TLDR. Active parenting involves sacrifice, and I think too often people want to take the easy way out. But, it's worth it.
For example, my wife was talking to her two best friends the other day about going to the grocery store and how one of our daughters (I have 3) was having a hard time. They asked if we had forgotten to charge the iPads. They mentioned that they can't take their kids anywhere without the iPads, and that not charging them was a rookie mistake. I was flabbergasted. I have a completely different experience taking my kids to the grocery store; I love taking the two older ones, as it gives me a chance to talk to them about where foods come from, how manufacturing works, and just spend time talking with them. That's active parenting.
I'm not saying this is easy, it's not, it takes effort and patience. It would be vastly easier for me to hand them a tablet and ignore them. And I'm not perfect, by any means. Saturday mornings I have a lot of yard work to do, because I was an idiot that bought a house in a forest, and sometimes turn on some cartoons for the kids to watch while I get work done. But, what I try to do is get the kids involved; get them to help rake leaves, pick up branches, help push the lawn mower (they don't really help that much but they sure like to think they do). Once again, it takes effort, but it's 100% worth it. I think too often though I see parents taking the easy way out, rather than making the effort.
In regards to video games, I spend a decent amount of my time to sit and play games WITH them. I know some parents don't enjoy gaming, but that's not what it's about. It's about spending time with your kids doing things they enjoy. I don't like playing with Barbies, but I do it all the time. I really don't like playing Anna and Elsa, and my voice isn't great, but I want to be an active parent. Because when you are actively parenting, you learn so much more about your children, and you can much more easily monitor what and how much the play and watch.
TLDR. Active parenting involves sacrifice, and I think too often people want to take the easy way out. But, it's worth it.
Just pointing out the absurdity of appeal to authority. Thank you mod. And thanks to all the parents in this thread who can handle their kids for their posts.