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My creationist mom: "if evolution is real, how do you explain the MOON?!"

Bentendo24

Bentendo24

Member
Feb 20, 2020
6,049
Untold numbers of biologists will soon be shaking now that their gig is up. A 55 year old woman from Kansas, not to be fooled by their fuckery, has managed to conjure a simple argument against evolution that should be understood by all: the moon. How DOES that explain evolution? Hmm?
 
Dyle

Dyle

One Winged Slayer
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
31,414
Well duh, evolution could have never made so much cheese
 
OP
OP
Bentendo24

Bentendo24

Member
Feb 20, 2020
6,049
Rhomega said:
Did she clarify her question at all?
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I told her that the question doesn't make any sense. That the moon has nothing to do with evolution. And I promise you I'm not making this up, she yelled at me and said "you think SCIENTISTS created the world. I know that God did"

Guys I promise you this is a literal conversation that was had.

This was over the phone and it was all because my mom was showing Jehovah's Witness content to my two year old that was about butterflies and she lost her mind when I confronted her after my kid said she "watched Jehovah on meemee's tablet"
 
Knight613

Knight613

Member
Oct 25, 2017
22,278
San Francisco
Bentendo24 said:
I told her that the question doesn't make any sense. That the moon has nothing to do with evolution. And I promise you I'm not making this up, she yelled at me and said "you think SCIENTISTS created the world. I know that God did"

Guys I promise you this is a literal conversation that was had.

This was over the phone and it was all because my mom was showing Jehovah's Witness content to my two year old that was about butterflies and she lost her mind when I confronted her
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Wouldn't God technically be a scientist, creating a bunch of stuff and just letting them all interact with each other?
 
RiOrius

RiOrius

Member
Oct 27, 2017
6,223
Well, there used to be a bunch of rocks orbiting Earth, and then they all fucked a lot until only the largest, strongest one remained: the moon.
 
cameron

cameron

The Fallen
Oct 26, 2017
24,950
Some young Earth creationists believe (were told) Earth would've lost the Moon if it's billions of years old due to drifting. Checkmate, Satan!

Some creationists call non-believers "evolutionists."

Combine both, and you get what the OP is dealing with.
 
OP
OP
Bentendo24

Bentendo24

Member
Feb 20, 2020
6,049
cameron said:
Some young Earth creationists believe (were told) Earth would've lost the Moon if it's billions of years old due to drifting. Checkmate, Satan!

Some creationists call non-believers "evolutionists."

Combine both, and you get what the OP is dealing with.
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Click to shrink...

This definitely adds context that my mom was not prepared to have to explain
 
Ceerious

Ceerious

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,632
Asian
Where's the missing link between Earth and the moon？Evolution scientist simply can't address the question.
 
Santini

Santini

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,687
cameron said:
Some young Earth creationists believe (were told) Earth would've lost the Moon if it's billions of years old due to drifting. Checkmate, Satan!

Some creationists call non-believers "evolutionists."

Combine both, and you get what the OP is dealing with.
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Don't forget the whole end of the world thing, too.


meteor-thundarr-the-barbarian.gif
 
El Bombastico

El Bombastico

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
36,734
OP, I wish that I could say that's the most batshit thing I've heard creationists say. I really do.

But it isn't.
 
AstronaughtE

AstronaughtE

Member
Nov 26, 2017
11,483
The moon was created when humanity's orginal planet Omorpheon collided with proto-earth. They did this intentionally because Earth dinosaurs were using volcanos to launching asteroids in their direction. Not sure what's confusing.
 
Dice

Dice

Member
Oct 25, 2017
25,338
Canada
FctcsAp.png


I honestly don't know what to say when my mum starts bringing up prayer (in annoying ways, like to deal with our broken relationship -- which, rather than try to fix it, she wants to pray for it :/ ).

I just let my mind go, tune out, and nod through the conversation because it can't reasonably last forever.
 
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VorpalNonsense

VorpalNonsense

Member
Oct 25, 2017
15,217
tell her that ancient monkey scientists launched milk into space and the moon evolved from cheese over the course of millions of years.
 
MrMattatee

MrMattatee

Member
Oct 27, 2017
705
Texas (aka, the upside down)
I remember one of the "apologetics" I learned (and then learned was false) as a teen was that the moon didn't have enough astro-dust on its surface to be as old as scientists claimed - that it was only a few inches, proving a 6000 year old earth. It's complete bullshit, but there's a lot of money in making religious people feel validated and sciency.
 
El Bombastico

El Bombastico

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
36,734
Gravidee said:
Why not just tell her that God created evolution?
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I tried that once. The woman got pissed and said God would never "deceive" us like that.

Then literally a few minutes later she claimed fossils only appeared to be as old as they were because God made them appear that way to "test" us and see who remained faithful in the truth that earth was only 6000 years old.

In other words, God deceived us...
 
Squarehard

Squarehard

Member
Oct 27, 2017
27,320
Tell her that you actually time traveled back in time and created the moon which is why Santa Claus is real.
 
Psyborg

Psyborg

Member
Aug 6, 2018
1,944
Wait, so she thinks the alternative theory to creationism is that scientists made the universe? Wow. That's a new one.
 
megamanofnumbers

megamanofnumbers

▲ Legend ▲
Banned
Apr 28, 2022
3,190
The next time someone tries to go all "evangelical anti-intellectual rhetoric" on you, remind them that according to the bible the first generation of humanity after Adam and Eve were two men.
 
loco

loco

Member
Jan 6, 2021
6,938
I have an aunt that is constantly pissing off evangelical relatives of ours because she's a huge believer in aliens, believes to have been abducted and uses the experience to argue the existence of god being dead. Dinners are wild.

Edit: she's has theories on the moon that may change her mind.
 
megamanofnumbers

megamanofnumbers

▲ Legend ▲
Banned
Apr 28, 2022
3,190
loco said:
I have an aunt that is constantly pissing off evangelical relatives of ours because she's a huge believer in aliens, believes to have been abducted and uses the experience to argue the existence of god being dead. Dinners are wild.

Edit: she's has theories on the moon that may change her mind.
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The unstoppable force meets the immovable object.
 
Billfisto

Billfisto

Member
Oct 30, 2017
16,356
Canada
So, we have demonstrable proof that the moon is drifting. Her evidence is that the earth needs to be fairly young because otherwise the moon would have drifted off by now.

... why the fuck is the moon drifting off? Why would an all-powerful God build a system that will just gradually fall apart? Shouldn't it be within their power to just lock it on there?
 
Max|Payne

Max|Payne

Member
Oct 27, 2017
9,167
Portugal
Bentendo24 said:
I told her that the question doesn't make any sense. That the moon has nothing to do with evolution. And I promise you I'm not making this up, she yelled at me and said "you think SCIENTISTS created the world. I know that God did"

Guys I promise you this is a literal conversation that was had.

This was over the phone and it was all because my mom was showing Jehovah's Witness content to my two year old that was about butterflies and she lost her mind when I confronted her after my kid said she "watched Jehovah on meemee's tablet"
Click to expand...
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Jesus, OP, it must suck for you to know your mom thinks that way.

I'm lucky my dad doesn't give a crap about religion at all and my mom is just a very open-minded non-practicing catholic who doesn't believe in any of that anti-science gobbledygook.
 
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Bugface

Bugface

Member
May 14, 2019
245
God made it so that when asteroids break off of it and come down here we can eat delicious cheese. Did your precious evolution make you cheese op.
 

devSin

Member
Oct 27, 2017
6,226
Billfisto said:
So, we have demonstrable proof that the moon is drifting. Her evidence is that the earth needs to be fairly young because otherwise the moon would have drifted off by now.

... why the fuck is the moon drifting off? Why would an all-powerful God build a system that will just gradually fall apart? Shouldn't it be within their power to just lock it on there?
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Seriously, the moon will leave orbit some day, and the planet will be enveloped by the dying sun.

What kind of moronic deity is supposed to have come up with that brilliant plan?
 
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