It's absolutely depressing spending 1700 a month for a 1 bedroom apartment here in NJ, knowing that if we had enough for a down payment, we could move to Charlotte or Greensboro in NC and get a decent sized house, in a good area with a mortgage around 900-1000 a month.
The counter to this is your salary may not reflect what it is in NJ.
You have to be somewhere near Middlesex County or north. My mortgage isn't much more than that and i have 2400 sq ft on a modest sized lot just outside Cherry Hill. For the additional 30 minutes or so of driving time, I would absolutely go for more bang for the buck. Hell, even when I lived in Mercer County you could get a decent sized apartment in Hamilton Square for nearly half of what you're paying.
This plays into how affordable philly is too relative to NYC. 3500 goes a lot further in Center City than midtown, the downside is the job market may not be as strong or competitive for you. It's pretty ludicrous just how much of NJ is high COL when you begin to think about it. Even parts of Hunterdon, Somerset and Mercer are insanely high