Just became a registered nurse, my wife doesnt want me to get a job

[Kieli]

This!

44 is still not in any risk groups. 0.4%. Neither is 11 at a low of 0.2%. Nobody feels good working in such a dangerous environment, but some people do despite being in risk groups themselves not to mention their relatives and compared to that you are not risking much and play it save even if you started working now.

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Easy for you to say when you aren't the one on the front line (I'm blindly assuming you aren't in health care). You have no idea what the health conditions of him or his family are. If they have high blood pressure, diabetes, or any other underlying health condition, that can exacerbate their risk for the more severe symptoms.

2 nurses, aged in their 30s, died in the UK from COVID. One doctor in China died at the age of 35. Another doctor, aged 51, died in Italy.

These aren't old folk.

 

[Messofanego]

Do you get turned on by veins in the arm? If not, you haven't stuck enough people 😂

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I have been trained for phlebotomy recently, and have stuck quite a few people, and it's definitely something I notice so far. Your veins look really healthy, mind if I stab? 🧛🏾‍♂️

 

[mashoutposse]

I don't understand the "I thought this is what you trained for/Maybe you're not cut out for this" angle.

Most people are trained to do their jobs assuming proper availability of tools and equipment.

Apparently, it's easy to shame people into taking on a suicide mission if we're talking about an invisible enemy.

New York City Nurses On Front Lines Say It's A 'Suicide Mission' | NBC Nightly News

During his daily coronavirus press briefing, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo says the state has had its single highest increase in deaths over the past day. C...

www.youtube.com

 

[Rory]

Easy for you to say when you aren't the one on the front line (I'm blindly assuming you aren't in health care). You have no idea what the health conditions of him or his family are. If they have high blood pressure, diabetes, or any other underlying health condition, that can exacerbate their risk for the more severe symptoms.

2 nurses, aged in their 30s, died in the UK from COVID. One doctor in China died at the age of 35. Another doctor, aged 51, died in Italy.

These aren't old folk.

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As I said before: I am working with the children of those who are, with no kind of protection available to us. And even then it would be reasonable for me to stay home because I belong in the highest risk group available (cardio-diseases) yet I still work because I do not have a choice. (I could stay home, but who'd babysit the children so that the parents can keep the system running?)

We are a team of 3 people, one is sick, one has to care for her elderly father and just lost her mother.

And as I said: He'd mention the age but forget to mention relevant diseases? I do not think so.

What you have to consider is, thag not every person who is more at risk (men than woman, age etc.) means they should be instantly putten off duty. Then every person who ever had a cigarette in their hand must be excluded. Obesity was mentioned before, isnt the rate about 30-35% among Americas population? Who do you think will be left in the hospitals if you exclude one after another from duty? You cant exclude every risk, especially because we do not know what exactly puts us at risk.

Diabetes, cardio diseases (not 'high blood pressure from anger' kind), asthma...these are serious conditions.

30 year olds die. Yes. The chance for that is low. 0.2%. That still means it is possible that they die. Nobody (except <10 year olds) are safe. Everyone is at risk, older ones (50+) are at higher risk. So are sick/people who suffer from health issues such as myself.

So that means it is saver to send 40/30 year olds into hospitals than 50(1,3%)/60(3,6%) year olds.

In the end 60% of the population must have contradicted it and survived it to build up herd immunity. So its very likely that if you are not in the risk group, you will get it either way. There is no other way to reach 60% rate.

 

[vitamind]

Thanks to you! I do understand that this is no easy decision.


Sounds like you do not belong into the risk group nor risk the health of a family member who does. Lucky you.

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Guess what a resident just died who was suspected of having covid so don't even try that bullshit. My wife has respiratory issues so stop. A young resident and unconfirmed 1-2 more younger than the other one. We haven't even reached the peak yet and the situation is rapidity evolving daily. We're having more and more younger individuals at my hospital coming in.

Go take a look at recently released CDC data in the past 24 hrs. Mortality is not the only factor we should be looking at. We're finding new and different presentations with their own associated morbidity. It the very reason we have tons of conversations physician to physician regarding their presentation at their particular hospitals. Talking solely about risk groups is foolish let alone talking about my personal "risk". Go tell a healthcare provider that they're low risk so don't worry and see their response.

 

[Grimm Fandango]

My spouse is a nurse and she does phone triage from home. She enjoys it a lot.

Haven't read the entire thread so are there any WFH options for you?

 

[MisterSnrub]

This seems like the kind of situation you'd live to regret knowing that you were fully trained to do something and opted against doing it when it was most desperately needed - esp if this was a mid-life career change based on following your passion

Then again Idk i neither have nor want kids, and my childhood was fractured as well so maybe I just don't relate

 

[Raxus]

I am not going to breathe down your neck at all but we do need nurses now more than ever. We are seeing more respiratory failures every day in the ER. Every bit of help is needed especially in areas hit the hardest.

 

[TheUnseenTheUnheard]

Personally I'd do it. I'd be afraid of waiting and not making use of my skills after spending so much time working to get to that point. Not only that the moral situation would probably push me further to that decision. This is just me though.

 

[Aureon]

This!

44 is still not in any risk groups. 0.4%. Neither is 11 at a low of 0.2%. Nobody feels good working in such a dangerous environment, but some people do despite being in risk groups themselves not to mention their relatives and compared to that you are not risking much and play it save even if you started working now.

Click to shrink...

0.2% for an 11yo is ridicolously overstated.
Are those Worldometers numbers or something?
The risk for an 11yo with no major immunodeficiencies is functionally zero.

Italian death rate for 40-49 is 0.8%, with an assumed 10-30x cases understatement and a 75% skew for males. A healthy woman developing serious complications at 44 from covid is a lightning bolt.

 

[Rory]

Guess what a resident just died who was suspected of having covid so don't even try that bullshit. My wife has respiratory issues so stop. A young resident and unconfirmed 1-2 more younger than the other one. We haven't even reached the peak yet and the situation is rapidity evolving daily. We're having more and more younger individuals at my hospital coming in. Don't speak if you have no idea what you're talking about.

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I never said that young people wont be infected, indeed children even under 10 are very likely to be infected but they do not show as intense symptoms. If at all. It is a FACT that the chance to be infected is as low as you are younger than 50.

Given the fact that even with increased testing we are not in absolut numbers here, because many untested, asymptomatic cases of corona are not included the current data states that the death rate for 11-39 lies around 0,2% in each age group. 40-49 is up to 0,4%. That's not a lot, not a high risk. If that number hits you, that's hard. Be it the British nurses or your patients.

However, it does not mean that everyone should drop their tools and hole up at home depriving society from their needed skills when they are needed most, especially if its part of their job description. You need qualified staff in the hospitals. What you do not want is that they need to fall back on untrained (as in normal citizen without medical training) staff just because the med school students are at home as they "want to protect their family". Surprise: That wont work. Less staff in hospitals = more spreading = many undetected cases which will result in more spreading which will affect stay-at-home-to-be-safe people too.

Many risk their health to keep society running despite it not being part of their job (cashier, teacher, close-contact staff in general). I am not saying it is okay that hospitals have problems with proper protection or whatever, I am also not sayin' that you should raise your hand to care for corona patients despite being in the risk group — BUT (!) and that's crucial — there are many tasks that can be done with limited risk. To lean back now and try to sit out the next 3-6 month just to apply later as a nurse with the reasoning "I wanted to protect my family" is not a good reason because there are many who would like to see their family protected but KNOW that they are needed and without them the death rate would be way higher.

Eventually you will get infected even if you stay at home. For that the development of a vaccine is way to far away.

You should know this.

 

[meowdi gras]

Speaking bluntly, it depends on how much you value your relationship vs being able to help out at the job you trained for. Similar to how when people "loan" money out they realistically shouldn't expect to see it back, if you do decide to disregard her feelings and get a nursing job, don't expect your relationship to survive the deal. It's hard for people to hear this, but relationships are far more fragile things than we often believe they are. People have their own self-interested reasons for wanting to be in a relationship, and the number of people who can put those things completely aside solely to benefit an altruistic cause are rare indeed. This isn't the movies, it's real life. Believe me, I know this all too well from firsthand experience.

So yes, many communities across the world are desperately in need for medical help right now. I just hope you're aware of the potential costs, should you opt to offer up your services. It really sucks that you're forced into such a dilemma, I don't envy you.

 

[vitamind]

I never said that young people wont be infected, indeed children even under 10 are very likely to be infected but they do not show as intense symptoms. If at all. It is a FACT that the chance to be infected is as low as you are younger than 50.

Given the fact that even with increased testing we are not in absolut numbers here, because many untested, asymptomatic cases of corona are not included the current data states that the death rate for 11-39 lies around 0,2% in each age group. 40-49 is up to 0,4%. That's not a lot, not a high risk. If that number hits you, that's hard. Be it the British nurses or your patients.

However, it does not mean that everyone should drop their tools and hole up at home depriving society from their needed skills when they are needed most, especially if its part of their job description. You need qualified staff in the hospitals. What you do not want is that they need to fall back on untrained (as in normal citizen without medical training) staff just because the med school students are at home as they "want to protect their family". Surprise: That wont work. Less staff in hospitals = more spreading = many undetected cases which will result in more spreading which will affect stay-at-home-to-be-safe people too.

Many risk their health to keep society running despite it not being part of their job (cashier, teacher, close-contact staff in general). I am not saying it is okay that hospitals have problems with proper protection or whatever, I am also not sayin' that you should raise your hand to care for corona patients despite being in the risk group — BUT (!) and that's crucial — there are many tasks that can be done with limited risk. To lean back now and try to sit out the next 3-6 month just to apply later as a nurse with the reasoning "I wanted to protect my family" is not a good reason because there are many who would like to see their family protected but KNOW that they are needed and without them the death rate would be way higher.

Eventually you will get infected even if you stay at home. For that the development of a vaccine is way to far away.

You should know this.

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My point is that this is still a difficult decision and to dismiss those concerns is disrespectful.

 

[Rory]

0.2% for an 11yo is ridicolously overstated.
Are those Worldometers numbers or something?
The risk for an 11yo with no major immunodeficiencies is functionally zero.

Italian death rate for 40-49 is 0.8%, with an assumed 10-30x cases understatement and a 75% skew for males. A healthy woman developing serious complications at 44 from covid is a lightning bolt.

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The risk is always in 10 year steps 0-10, 11-19... so yeah. Most likely an eleven year old wont get infected at all. I have not seen numbers for each age nor with or without preconditions online.

For a family with 40+ healthy mother, 11 year old child its VERY unlikely, even if you look from the highest numbers. That was my point.

The purely italien numbers I have not seen, they are very carefully to look at either way due to their situation over there. Yes, they test a lot, but mostly in hospitals afaik. So ofc serious/critical numbers will be higher.

many mild cases are not recorded which screws the data.

 

[Rory]

My point is that this is still a difficult decision and to dismiss those concerns is disrespectful.

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To sit at home and let people from risky groups do the work while you'd be way saver and less likely to die is not disrespectful?

Thank god i do not share your view of the world.

 

[Aureon]

The risk is always in 10 year steps 0-10, 11-19... so yeah. Most likely an eleven year old wont get infected at all. I have not seen numbers for each age nor with or without preconditions online.

For a family with 40+ healthy mother, 11 year old child its VERY unlikely, even if you look from the highest numbers. That was my point.

The purely italien numbers I have not seen, they are very carefully to look at either way due to their situation over there. Yes, they test a lot, but mostly in hospitals afaik. So ofc serious/critical numbers will be higher.

many mild cases are not recorded which screws the data.

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Yup, i was just reinforcing your point.
The family - barring preconditions we don't know about - is about as safe as it gets.

 

[vitamind]

To sit at home and let people from risky groups do the work while you'd be way saver and less likely to die is not disrespectful?

Thank god i do not share your view of the world.

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People are flawed and experience a wide range of complex emotions. To not even give them an ounce of empathy when it's their life not yours is disrespectful. I rather have my world view where I show kindness and understanding to those potentially risking their lives as well as those of their family. Always easy to put other people's lives at risk but this conversation is going nowhere.

 

[devenger]

My point is that this is still a difficult decision and to dismiss those concerns is disrespectful.

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Thanks, I'm ignoring the "do it, your risk is low" camp. I've been married for 15 years, I dont worry about our relationship being fragile. I also wouldn't move forward if she wasn't on the same page.

We decided I would start looking and talking to people next week. I dont know how long that process will take and maybe it will overlap with the peak.

 

[vitamind]

Thanks, I'm ignoring the "do it, your risk is low" camp. I've been married for 15 years, I dont worry about our relationship being fragile. I also wouldn't move forward if she wasn't on the same page.

We decided I would start looking and talking to people next week. I dont know how long that process will take and maybe it will overlap with the peak.

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Anytime! It is just upsetting when others casually say low risk as a way to overlook your situation. I completely understand. My wife gets it too. Good luck on your search and stay safe!

 

[devenger]

Selfish update ;). I started a job with home health 6 weeks ago. Spent the summer trying to get a hospital residency with no luck.

Really enjoying being a real live nurse, getting to know the ropes, visit patients, do wound care.

And today a patient let me know they tested positive for COVID. Soooo off to a testing center, all my appts cancelled, and now I wait.

 

[QuantumZebra]

There's a manufacturer in the metroplex, so no shortages so far.

Money is not an issue.

Everyone is hiring right now, even taking nursing students who haven't certified to staff up.

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This is your calling so yes I'd say start working, but maybe compromise with the wife and say wait till the beginning of the year, or when a vaccine hits market?

 

[carlsojo]

Selfish update ;). I started a job with home health 6 weeks ago. Spent the summer trying to get a hospital residency with no luck.

Really enjoying being a real live nurse, getting to know the ropes, visit patients, do wound care.

And today a patient let me know they tested positive for COVID. Soooo off to a testing center, all my appts cancelled, and now I wait.

Click to shrink...

Good luck man!

Enjoy being a nurse... even in times of covid it's a rewarding profession.

 

[Euphoria]

Why not a school nurse or possibly assist them in some capacity.

My wife is a LPN who as a result cant fully assess the children. Normally she has a RN in the building but one day she was sent to another building because the RN was out. She was able to work with a RN remotely to assist in the things she couldn't do.

Edit - Just saw latest posts stating you already found a job. Good for you!

 

[RocketKiss]

Good luck! Wound care is a 'fun' part of the job. I'm a bedside nurse who works in a major city hospital in the busiest floor. I had to take a break because I was burned out. Stay safe and don't neglect your own mental and physical health!

 

[devenger]

I appreciate the well wishing. Right now Im pretty worried about the test, I wont be able to see patients until I come back negative. Ive looked all afternoon for rapid testing and cant find any available. No symptoms so fingers crossed.

 

[Kyra]

Welcome :). As nurse for 11 years I'll say you chose a noble profession at a time where you are needed the most. I am glad you are acclimating yourself to your Job. Be safe and get regular testing. You are on the front lines of an important battle that makes you a hero to many. The care you procure to the patients you visit in invaluable.

 

[Chan]

Here I am sitting in a EPS for the last 5 hours wearing lead, this fucking sucks.