Isn't Making Friends as an Adult weird as all ****?

[CoolestSpot]

I mean, it's not hard in concept. You either have friends you made in school, or at work, but those are really the only two standard options. Maybe if you have a niche interest you meet them somehow through that, or a shared creative project, but the truth is you're kind of limited to the first two for most unless other circumstances.

I don''t know, sometimes I see someone on the bus and they look interesting enough and try to strike up a convo, and sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. Most of the time it doesn't, and it's usually because they'd rather listen to their phones or what have you. And I get, I'm usually that way, but I wonder how it must of been generations before when you could make a friend out of your usual through a strange connection at a moment where both of you have to wait through the little moments of waiting in life, and now they're replaced by a screen,

I don't know, how do you make friends? Besides kidnapping/experimenting on the dead?


And before you pumpkinheads post it:

Spoiler

 

[Fat4all]

just let it happen naturally

 

[PlanetSmasher]

It's awful. In my mid and late 20s, I did a lot of improv and acting classes and made a ton of friends that way. But now that I'm past 30, there's like no realistic way to meet anybody anymore. I hate it.

And before anyone asks, I don't like to make friends at work, because I hate almost every job I've ever had and never want to think about it when I'm not at home. Work friends are only good for talking about work with.

 

[Wag]

The alternative is to have no friends.

 

[ElectricBlanketFire]

I don't know, how do you make friends?

Click to shrink...

 

[Monkeyball]

Yeah it sucks. If you screwed up making friends in school or at uni, you're doomed. Which I did.

 

[Anubis]

I don't think it's weird at all.

One should approach life with an open mind and accept the fact that life is dynamic.

 

[Musha_Soturi]

I'm 36 and I'm continually making new friends, it's never been an issue for me but I'm a very outgoing friendly person so it just comes naturally. Plus I'm cool af so everyone wants to be my friend.

 

[Deleted member 17092]

Yeah it's harder the older you get. And yeah I'm not into having work friends either. The main other dude on my team is a trump supporter so yeah no thanks.

 

[Aprikurt]

Yup. I have work friends and childhood friends. Didn't really forge any close bonds at Uni (thank you very much possessive girlfriend at the time!). I do find myself a bit lost when my few friends are busy and my partner is at work.

I find with work friends too that sometimes, when you've spent a 40 hour working week with somebody, you don't necessarily want to spend your weekends with them either, as nice as they may be.

 

[SliceSabre]

Yup. 31 here working your typical office job.

All the friends I made in college all drifted away because we didn't live near each other in the first place. Friends I made before college drifted away because they moved across the country.

Making friends at work is a non-starter because I mostly work with people old enough to be my parents, the ones close to my age are family people and I don't really want to be friends with people I work with because god damn I see them enough as it is. Not to mention I'm awful at making friend in the first place.

 

[CoyoteSpitfire]

I keep hearing things like this and, as someone who can't even manage it in college, it's pretty disheartening.

 

[CoolestSpot]

I keep hearing things like this and, as someone who can't even manage it in college, it's pretty disheartening.

Click to shrink...

Pft I'm 19. I got only like 30 friends, and worry about my chances going on reading this stuff.

Geez people. I was hoping this would turn out happier.

 

[Chromhound]

Bumble bff lol

 

[Wez]

It's only weird if you make it weird

 

[Fat4all]

I'm 19

Click to shrink...

 

[thepenguin55]

Yeah it sucks. If you screwed up making friends in school or at uni, you're doomed. Which I did.

Click to shrink...

Yeah and if you live in a place like Ohio then you lose friends because they all moved out of state.

 

[Deleted member 19626]

I'm married and have a toddler and another on the way. Unless they have kids it is extremely hard. You can't do things spontaneously, you have to plan, and even then other obstacles can come in the way. Unless you having kids and understand, you always come across as hard to get ahold of or you are trying to avoid them/flakey

 

[Deleted member 4034]

Still got my uni friends, thankfully some of us didn't move too far after we graduated.
A few online friends.

Work friends are too racist for me to want to see outside of the office much.

Other than that, I don't think I've made a new friend this year. Definitely met people, but mostly one offs. Met some cool people at a party Friday, definitely not gonna see them until the next party.

Making an effort to go out more, but when the time comes, it's just so much easier to stay home and sleep.

 

[CoolestSpot]

Click to shrink...

I can't tell if this is a sexual threat or not

 

[Deleted member 27246]

I made some Pokemon Go friends recently :P

But yeah it is 'harder' when you are no longer in school/uni

 

[Fat4all]

I can't tell if this is a sexual thread or not

Click to shrink...

stress relief

 

[Segafreak]

"I don't know, how do you make friends?"

-don't have 10k posts/year on a videogame forum :P
-join activities/classes for adults like reading, dancing, cooking, languages etc, also use technology, lots of apps for meetups that don't involve dating
-go to a bar/club alone, try to strike convos with random people, awkward maybe at first but things get better
-join a gym, lotsa opportunities there
-volunteer

Pft I'm 19. I got only like 30 friends, and worry about my chances going on reading this stuff.

Geez people. I was hoping this would turn out happier.

Click to shrink...

Lol, you're only 19? I thought I was giving advice to a 30 year old

also lol, "only 30 friends"

 

[Slv]

The thing for me, it's not really for everyone though, i made friends through car clubs. First was a Ford Focus Club and now it's a general Volvo Club, these clubs do stuff like going for full day events together, like visiting towns, museums, sporting events... e.t.c. It was how i made new friends now that i am almost thirty, although i dont drive a ford focus anymore i was still together for a medieval event this month. One example i can give from me.

 

[Sunster]

It's definitely different making new friends in your adult years. But if you put actual effort into it you'll make friends. The thing is the effort part. When we kids friends came effortlessly, now we actually need to do things to get them. It's definitely not impossible nor especially difficult. no one ITT should be disheartened.

 

[Dr. Mario]

People generally don't really have time to make friends past their thirties. My parents used to become friends with the parents of my friends. I always thought that was kind of pathetic, but I totally get it now. You can't really bloody well go out with other people for as long as your kids depend on you. And it's only natural that you form bonds over the things that keep you busy the most. That's school in your child and adolescent years, college and hobbies in your twenties, kids in your thirties and forties, and fifties and older, I dunno, I guess join a bridge club or something. You could try work somewhere in between, but you'd have to all live close to it.

 

[iseta]

I got only like 30 friends

Click to shrink...

Isn't that a lot?

 

[CoolestSpot]

"I don't know, how do you make friends?"

-don't have 10k posts/year on a videogame forum :P
-join activities/classes for adults like reading, dancing, cooking, languages etc, also use technology, lots of apps for meetups that don't involve dating
-go to a bar/club alone, try to strike convos with random people, awkward maybe at first but things get better
-join a gym, lotsa opportunities there
-volunteer


Lol, you're only 19? I thought I was giving advice to a 30 year old

also lol, "only 30 friends"

Click to shrink...

I mean I do most of that noise. But still, who knows...this is good advice in general for people.

Also I have under 10k posts, but then again I was banned like 4 times my first year.

 

[Spikematic]

It's actually becoming easier for me to make friends the older I get. It helps that I'm more vocal and assertive than I ever was in my early 20's.

 

[Fat4all]

Isn't that a lot?

Click to shrink...

I've got four friends and one of them is my imaginary pet penguin

 

[Kevin360]

By 30, you're lucky to have have even just a few real friends, some decent acquaintances, and a stupid number of people you thought to be friends but are just distant social media filler.

 

[Cymbal Head]

ResetEra is my friends.

 

[Kingpin Rogers]

Please don't talk to random people on the street. There's a very good chance you're just scaring them and making them regret going wherever they went.

 

[Hollywood Duo]

It's a lot easier these days. You have Meetup and there are all kinds of single people events/groups organized on Facebook. Only caveat is you have to be willing to put yourself out there.

 

[wideface]

Sorry, "only" 30 friends?

 

[CoolestSpot]

Please don't talk to random people on the street. There's a very good chance you're just scaring them and making them regret going wherever they went.

Click to shrink...

See? See what I mean people.

I'm not crazy! I'm not crazy!

 

[CoolestSpot]

Okay people, like 10 of those friends are close, the other 20 I occasionally hang out with but don't really know them like that.

 

[dragonchild]

Oh you sweet younglings, hold onto your butts because it only gets worse.

 

[Azerare]

Yeah it's hard when you're out of school and you want to branch out of work.

Lately I've been wanting to take a break from my work friends because it's like I'm never done with work even when I'm off the clock.

 

[Inki]

I've found the best place to make friends is the places you enjoying spending time. If you're into hobbies, maybe strike up a conversation with someone else who's at the rock climbing place, comic book store, etc. Most of my friends are from our local dive bar, gotten really close to a few of them. Hell we're having a dinner party this Saturday for 5 other couples we've met there.

 

[Fat4all]

Man, when i was 19 the only friends i had were the same 3 people i knew after high school who would play MTG with me during lunchbreak and after school at the library until my mom got off work

 

[Notaskwid]

You're crazy.
Just go regularly to some place and talk to the people there and you'll make friends if you want.

 

[Deleted member 13645]

Having something that focuses on a community is a good way to make friends. Something like Pokemon Go tends to have a lot of social meetups where you can meet new people and learn what other interests you share beyond just that game. Similar concept applies to other stuff. Improv classes where you meet people. Local film meetups. I kinda view it like dating. Yeah, you can try to strike up conversation with a random person on a train but they're doing their commute, chances are the last thing they want to be thinking about is making a friend or having someone hit on them.

Just get involved in something you're interested in and engage people in conversation.

 

[Ravelle]

Define adult.

I'm 32 and I can pretty much hangout with anyone but I also have a very big friend circle, friends and their partner become friends, I have a couple collegues from friends that became friends and a cousin from a friend.

 

[Mr. X]

Play fighting games and find your local scene.

 

[shnurgleton]

join a cult, it's easy

 

[Br3wnor]

No new friends is my motto.

I'm 32, am married and live where I did not grow up so I don't know anyone here. I have one friend I made who is my wife's friend's husband, he's real cool but we mostly hang out w/ the wives so it's not like one of my bros kind of friend. I have around 6 core friends from College, 4 of who I see multiple times a year, 2 that I keep in contact with via messaging. Since I deleted my Facebook I lost contact w/ most of my other 'friends' who were really acquaintances.

I have one guy at work who's definitely a work friend but our interaction outside of work is limited solely to seeing super hero movies. Other than that, 95% of my time is spent with my wife and our dogs. Neither of us are social butterflies so it works well for us.

I agree though that IF I wanted to make friends at this age, it would be a real pain in the ass.

***Should point out that when we do go to parties or other bigger social gatherings, I'm quite good at bro-ing or nerding out with the other husbands/boyfriends depending on what they're into. I don't go out of my way to be social outside of gatherings, but when I'm in a social environment I'm able to get along w/ people and converse quite easily.

 

[Fat4all]

join a cult, it's easy

Click to shrink...

you get three thousand friends and all you have to do is eat cabbage and microwave corpses all day

 

[Monkeyball]

I think this guy is listing his Facebook 'friends'.

 

[Strax]