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Is it weird to speak too formally?
- Thread starter Umbrella Carp
- Start date
I do believe you have some fault here, you positioned yourself as superior and you framed yourself as more in-command via verbosity while at the same time proving your language use is lacking in other areas (and you haven't really acknowledged that).
I don't think the hostility was deserved, but you haven't done yourself many favours.
I'm only going off my own thoughts on this from now; adding complexity when it serves no real purpose, IS potentially patronising and condescending. So yes, he is using more complex vocabulary and the like, but I question; why is he doing that? For what reason?
You're fine, OP.
As others have said, it's situational.
But anyone who types out the above quote does not speak "too formally." If someone said that to me I'd wait for them to be more specific.
Slang is fine, in fact I really love how slang terms develop. But you're speaking in memes.
You don't seem to be paying attention to those of us in here are explaining the problem so I don't know what you're going to get from this when you are more interested in reacting to those who are being more hostile.
For the record I'm yet to see a big word from you so I'm not sure where your head is at here ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It's POTENTIALLY those things, but not by default like so many have swung to automatically.
You get the irony there, right?
Some people just naturally gravitate to being more verbose, there are lots of reasons that don't = superiority complex.
Are you familiar with the concept of Purple Prose?
I feel if you're feeling as if your formality and at times verbose manner of speaking or writing is becoming something noteworthy to at least yourself then you're approaching the realms of purple prose. While it does have it's place it's got many draw backs and I'll never "smart shame" or ridicule others for intelligence but there's something to be said of ensuring you don't alienate yourself or others in a conversation by using language above the audiences threshold of understanding.
The following quote sums it up for me.
Sidenote: You're not exactly blowing our minds with big words here. I'm not going to pretend I know who you surround yourself with but I'd be questioning their level of the language rather than your own because words like "Pretentious" are far from complex.
OP
OP
I don't mind an extensive vocabulary. I actually like hearing words I don't normally hear, and usually comment on it like "woa, that's a good one" like the person just did a kick flip in front of me or something.
But I do hate that faux intellectual manner of speaking that a lot of internet blowhards are prone to using. It's kind of difficult to explain what exactly it is. Over use of the word "one" as an indefinite pronoun is definitely one of the biggest giveaways. Using a lot of leading sentences that usually decry the stupidity of the masses is also another giveaway.
But I do hate that faux intellectual manner of speaking that a lot of internet blowhards are prone to using. It's kind of difficult to explain what exactly it is. Over use of the word "one" as an indefinite pronoun is definitely one of the biggest giveaways. Using a lot of leading sentences that usually decry the stupidity of the masses is also another giveaway.
Sure, but I'm going off his other posts, not just the OP. He has repeatedly come across that way in every one of his posts.
You're on a forum full of nerds in a topic about language, so many of the people here will be well read enough to not consider those words "big".
They are, of course, on average. People are going to posture, though.
Yeah no doubt, that's why I asked you. Because that's all I really cared about. If you know what you're supposed to be doing, then practice doing that and speaking to your audience more effectively. You'll see results and people will probably want to hang out and speak with you more often. Best of luck.
I didn't mean it condescendingly, I'm just trying to figure out this whole situation, because I don't know what's actually the issue here. I've never heard you speak, and I don't know your actual tone of voice, how you're responding when spoken to, the syntax you use, your vocabulary in context, etc etc. I don't think there's enough here for anyone to say, but it seems to me that you're off-base if you think the sole issue is the vocabulary you use. Though I'm sure that's a part of it. Like, "exasperated" is probably not something I'd often use in conversation, I'd probably say "fed up" or something, because it carries the same connotation and is less formal (and actually easier to say due to being fewer syllables). "I'm just exasperated with this situation" just doesn't roll off the tongue.
So yeah, context, audience. Spoken fluency is different from written fluency, because social cues naturally come into play. You can write A+ essays and still suck at verbal communication for all kinds of reasons. I'm not saying you do - again, I don't know enough. But they're pretty far apart. Most communication in person is non-verbal, as common wisdom has it.
He has descended into more hostility because of unnecessary hostility. Yes, his OP was a little abrasive and lacking in self-awareness, but you don't need to be mean to call that out. If you are, of course the conversation will devolve.
OP
OP
I get the whole context, audience, read the room angles guys. It's been made crystal clear, and I like to think I generally do that already. All I wanted to do is get a lay of the land as to how "the masses" respond to complex use of language, and clearly it is...not good. The atmosphere plummeted real quick.
I mean... yeah? Welcome to Era. You could post this exact same quote in hundreds of other threads on a daily basis and be just as correct about it.
Again.. that's not what happened.
Your OP was, absolutely, you posturing as in-command while showing you're not quite as good at this as you think you are. And THAT is the part people mocked. Some of the hostility was uncalled for, but it was correct to call you on it.
And you're ignoring so many of the posts that explain this, and concentrating on mostly the more hostile ones, that it's now coming across that you still think you're superior and the "mucky masses" are just reacting poorly to your elevated speech.
Do you not understand this?
The use of superfluous is ironic for sure.
Why you've got endocrinology in there is a bit puzzling.
Again, those are not big words generally or at least most people over a certain threshold of education understand those words without consulting a dictionary.
It's whether or not those words are appropriate for the nature or context of a conversation, which is what you seem to be struggling with.
I don't think I was being mean in anything I said. I was calling him out like others.
I didn't say you were... I was reasoning why OP was being hostile, which is what you were calling out at that point.
OP
OP
I don't know and I don't care. All you've been doing this whole thread is judging and insulting, why the sudden change?
"The masses" certainly sounds condescending and when are you speaking them? Are we "the masses", is era?
From the op and subsequent posts you seemed to imply you were having issues in your personal experience that led you to feel there was an issue with your choice of words, or the recipients. Most of us have just been trying to explain this, with some turning to hostility admittedly
You shouldn't care but there's potential you could be there's some "potential flags" for this in how you come across.
OP
OP
Not at all, I said my family commented on my way of speaking saying it was "impressive" and I came to Era to get clarification. Regrettably. Also "the masses" was in quotations, can you please stop misrepresenting my posts?
One thing lawyers screw up is that some dont stop talking formally, so when they talk to a client to explain something, they forget to turn that into simple language so they can understand (thats also true to lots of other people), you have to be accessible to whom you are talking thats the gist of communication.
Well yeah, families tend to say and do things that don't actually represent the rest of the world unfortunately. Like, your mum is going to generally talk up any and all levels of accomplishment regardless of the actual impact of said accomplishments.
They might also just be being polite rather than direct with regards to how you dress up your language. Unlikely, but possible
No mate, you are absolutely framing yourself as superior. Your OP did this will also proving you are not quite as in-command of language as you thought.
The hostility was uncalled for, BUT you were rightly called out.
You might have put masses in quotation marks, but you are still posturing.
Do you really not see this?
OP
OP
What planet do you people live on, where people around you say and hear the word "meticulous" like it is please and thank you? That shit stands out to normal people.....FOR SOME REASON. Hence why I created the fucking thread.
No, I don't, I see people on the internet who don't know me seeing what they want to see.
There's an element of " I am very smart" about this where OP is inflating their own ego/intelligence by thinking the words they use are "big" when in reality they are relatively mundane.
I don't think I know one single person who doesn't understand what meticulous means, and I don't hangout with a bunch of geniuses or anything.
It's not that people use it all the time, it's that people know what it means. How are you not getting it?
Him sorry. Feels bad.
They try make you feel love. Him no love. Him try make talky man go. Him fail. Talky man still talk. I like. Talky man stay with GungHo. GungHo protect talky man.
Your hostility in the face of hostility was understood, but your continued hostility in the face of explanations is really uncool.
If you wanna know, it's because I am autistic and can often come across in ways I do not intend. So while it may look like I'm jumping around in how I act I am really trying to tone what I say correctly. SHOCKINGLY I incorporate feedback into myself to try and learn.
You should try it one day.
EDIT: Yes, I realise I have failed but hey-ho.
OP
OP
Then count me as autistic then because clearly a lot of you have taken a really negative assumption about the OP and just ran with it.
You could have just said "words like that aren't that complex. Your family are just bucking you up." and that would have been the end of it. Instead, it devolved into a huge mess of hurt egos and communication issues.
Who are these "normal people" who haven't understood you when you have used meticulous?
Pretty sure it's because I'm sick and running on like 6 hours of sleep but this fucking slew me
By OP's own admission, this has led to being a bit of a loner.
There's nothing particularly impressive or academic about the language you've shown in this thread, at all. Keep reading, learn more, but practice some humility and don't act like you're always the smartest person in the room.
User Warned: Hostility towards another user
Yeah man, I don't think you're really particularly great with language or anything, I think your family just must be stupider or less well read than the average person.