I just kind of isolate myself to recharge in between social stuff. It's not healthy to be alone all the time, so you've got to force yourself to get out there from time to time. Just make sure that you don't overdo it without having time to yourself. Being introverted doesn't mean you're not social, it just means that being social is draining, so you can't do it as frequently as extroverted people.
Maybe all that is because they find it draining. Which would make them introverted.Reading a lot the replies in here just reads like "I don't do well in social situations" or "I have social anxiety". Things like "being forced to talk due to my job" just does not sound like an introverted person.
Maybe all that is because they find it draining. Which would make them introverted.
Ah, gotcha.As some of us have said: It's not inherently tied to how well you do in social situations. I can function fine around people and hold conversations, but a day or two straight of that and I'll go silent for a day.
Yes it takes effort to talk to people, but the way it's being written by some here makes it sound more like social anxiety.
As some of us have said: It's not inherently tied to how well you do in social situations. I can function fine around people and hold conversations, but a day or two straight of that and I'll go silent for a day.
Yes it takes effort to talk to people, but the way it's being written by some here makes it sound more like social anxiety.
I think you're being a little dismissive of the honest feelings of posters here. I suppose being bad at talking to people doesn't necessarily make you an introvert, even if it is often related, but I think wanting to avoid social situations because you dislike how they make you feel does make you an introvert. I read many of the comments in this thread as falling into that category.
Once you have kids it changes a lot. If you love kids and want a family then you will be fine. I love just being around my wife and kids. It's other people I have a problem with. I love her family but I'm not big into drinking and being social which is what they love to do. I think after time if your spouse loves and respects you they will come to terms with who you are. The family will fall in line. At least this was my situation. I'm never mean to anyone I just like to chill and relax. Old soul some say... just like my grandfather.This was what I came here to find out more about. I turned 40 this year, am definitely introverted but am socially able, dating etc. I could definitely benefit from the advice from various quarters in this thread about extroversion not being better, a default, or 'easy mode' or any of the rest of it. Sometimes it's hard not to look at the world and feel fundamentally incompatible.
But one thing I'm particularly wondering about now is how this plays into starting a family. I truly love people, love children, and love the noise made by a full, active house. However I also know it's not something I can constantly occupy a role at the heart of, as things stand. Can a parent be a functioning introvert? Is that just about better management of inner states and energy levels?
A different job would really help. A few people have mentioned having jobs that require lots of interaction. Is there any reason we fall into these roles? In my case I think it has a lot to do with having expectations that life in general and work in particular are just supposed to suck. On the other hand, maybe it's also a healthy attraction towards a path of difficulty and spiritual growth ...
Yeah, this thread was really confusing. Personally, I found out I wasn't introverted, just shy and bad at socializing. Then I got good at talking to people and the more I started doing it the better I got at it. I wouldn't say it's perfect, but it's a lot better than it was a few years ago. If anyone has anxiety issues, I would suggest powering through it.
Hey guys, sorry to bump my own thread.
Just want to vent a bit.
So I ended a relationship a few days ago because I didn't feel anything for this person other than lust and excitement for having a partner. We have nothing in common, and she doesn't understand me at all.
And it makes me feel lonely again, like that teen who said that nobody understands him. I look around me and the things I love, and I do love these things and my personality, but I'm thinking... will I find that one person who loves me and wants to really understand me?
I don't want to get with someone because I find them attractive inside and outside... I want more than that, and I have never had that in a romantic relationship. I want someone to get me, the introvert. I wish I could get with another introvert.
People say to avoid other introverts, but why? People tell me to dodge dating introverts because there are those that stay inside their house all day and have an anxiety attack when they go out in public, but being an introvert is not this.
I feel like loving myself is the best option right now, and that I hope I'll find that person who will love and care about me, and that they understand me so much because they feel the same way themselves.
I'm still finding myself.
OP, I'm sorry your relationship ended. My only advice is that the future is unwritten and when life has me down I try to remind myself that it's presumptuous to think that I know where my life is headed, and that's a good thing. There are a whole slew of good things and interactions and people in your future. Also whoever said not to date another introvert, I don't get that at all. Me and my girlfriend are couch potatoes and I love that.
I hate when people attribute social anxiety, reclusiveness and nervousness to introverted behavior. I consider myself an introvert, and I am none of the things people often describe themselves as (shy, difficult talking with, avoiding social interaction).
If you have a FEAR of talking with others, and keep to yourself because of that FEAR, then that's not being an introvert - that's more attributable to social anxiety. There are plenty of people who merely keep to themselves because their energy is derived from the self, and not because they have some fault conversing with others.
As an introvert, you can be social, but your battery recharge comes from alone time, and you should embrace it.
Speaking as an introvert... I've pretty much had it up to here with introverts talking about being introverted. Sometimes it feels like being an introvert is some kind of badge of honor. Like there's some banale dignity in not being super social and preffering your own company. And that this is.. sad? And sad is what? Good? Pity me, for I'm so uniquely sad?
Give me a break. Being an introvert is the best thing in the world. It helps you to not give a shit what anyone else thinks about you and what you should be doing, and it takes all that time you could have wasted on disappointing social events, and gives it to you to do what you wish.
I'd never have found the time to do all the thing I do if I was an extrovert.
So yeah. Stop whining about it. Stop talking about yourselves like you're somehow special, and go do what you like without worrying what everyone else thinks.
News flash, nobody gives a fuck about you, so why waste your time worrying about it?
I'm a little confused as to what you're getting at here. You make a point to say you've had it with introverts talking about being introverted and wearing it like a badge of honor, but then you talk about being an introvert and it being the best thing in the world.
Then you tell people, in a thread on a message board, to not talk about the topic of the thread and finish up with telling people that no one gives a fuck about them.
There might be some sort of positive or productive message in your post, but I think I'm maybe missing it.
Well, I guess the short version is that there are a lot of people who both whine about being introverted, and treat it like it's a virtue. It seems completely disingenuous to me.
Not really telling people to stop talking about it, but to stop talking about themselves like they're special. I mean, who cares? Right? Nobody does. And that's not a negative.
I think being inteoverted is great for me and my interest, but it has fuck all to say for my value as a person. There is no contradiction there. The introvert part is completely uninteresting from a personality standpoint, it's just a massive time saver.
I dunno what else to tell you.