I don't know why I bother anymore

[PeskyToaster]

I think a lot of people are in the same funk which I believe COVID has no small part in making worse. My suggestion is to re-experience something you really enjoy, be it a game, book, movie, activity, food or anything then just make a RTTP thread on it. Positive vibes only.

 

[Temascos]

Hey PlanetSmasher! :)

Sorry about what you're going through, I can't say I'm going through the same sort of thing but struggling to live in a place that you find difficult, along with work being stressful is something I can relate to. That stuff can take a very gradual toll on your mental health, and I know for a while I was struggling in my current place and not feeling welcome in the community.

Online interactions can be a good source of comfort, entertainment and fun, but on the downside it can also bring out our inner demons. I think there's a lot of great interaction on here but people can get so flared up so quickly, we can type detailed posts with our reasoning as to why we like or dislike something, but a slip up, or someone construes something the wrong way makes it personal. From there it can derail things and leave a conversation on a sour note when it was originally just a bit of discussion.

 

[Deleted member 8118]

I've never even seen your profile on this site before, but all I can really say is fuck the gaming side lol - there's too many fucking trolls over there.

It sounds like you're in a pretty bad situation personally - It may sound cliché or something easier said than done, but find one thing that is around you in which you can change; it doesn't have to be much.

I was in your shoes in 2018 at 22/23, stuck in a negative feedback loop with family, homeless, getting bullied in school and work, plus I had some horrible things happen to me. I changed my job, took a break from school and decided to take some money and travel after saving for a year.

Do you have any friends you can bounce ideas off of? I have two that I speak to and see from time to time, and they were a huge influence on me getting myself back together.

 

[Draper]

Both gaming side and politics are toxic af with condescending know-it-alls using the same vernacular to dismiss anything from anyone who has a lesser informed stance or a contrary viewpoint. Just stay clear of those places to offset your work-life. Otherwise you're just compounding your misery. But moreover, don't let this place be your life- understand you're speaking to strangers who would generally never speak to another person like this when confronted in person. Get out, do stuff, find a fun hobby. Get your mind cleared.

 

[Eugene's Axe]

Well, the gaming side is full of hatred so don't take that into consideration. Actually this forum can be pretty negative just for the sake of it sometimes so if you're feeling down just rather avoid it and look for something that can bring you a bit of joy.
I know this is easier said than done but just try to start by loving yourself. You will start not giving a shit about everything else. I'm in a similar situation as yours. I'm far away from my friends, my family is a bunch of selfish assholes and I've been single for a couple of years. However all in all I love myself and all the time I spend alone is quality time. I sometimes wish the days were longer or I didn't have to sleep so I could do more of the stuff I do when I'm by myself.

 

[TheLastOfPizzaCrUSt]

Click to shrink...

 

[HeartlessNobody2134]

PlanetSmasher it really sucks what you're going through and I hope things turn around for you. To be perfectly honest, on the gaming side I disagree with most of your post, but I always respect that you articulate your opinion and I've never felt the need to be aggressive towards you.

Hell you make me laugh simply for the fact that people on gaming get so upset at you for what I think are pretty dumb reasons.

I read some post about what's going on at your job and I hope you can make the move to get out of there and on to something better.

 

[entremet]

Take a break from the forum. Seriously. I've done it before as well, post count aside lmao.

Also, as fun as forums are, they are not real life. We're an embodied species that need face to face connections with people we love. Social media (including forums) is better than nothing, but if it is your only social outlet, it will not be sufficient.

Good thing is that stuff is opening up. Have you tried looking for social events in your area?

 

[Kyuuji]

I think you're pretty rad honestly, and that the forum is all the better for having you on it 💐💜

Sorry to hear you're feeling rough. That's never fun and I can relate to many of the emotions you speak of. You're not a burden, far from it. Just know that much. Take a step back from here as and when you need if it's getting to you, and perhaps look into speaking to someone - personally or professionally - about the difficulty you're having in life and circumstance.

 

[echoshifting]

You've been one of my favorite posters since pre-Era days, PlanetSmasher. When you post something in a thread I'm reading, I always take the time to slow down and soak in what you've got to say. And I will always be grateful to all the people who helped get Era get off the ground and smoothed out in the early days. I'm sure that wasn't easy and I appreciate the time you put in.

Rarely do I feel it is worth it to post on gaming side, let alone a contrary opinion. I respect that you have done that as often as you have. I think the meme shit that you hate everything is annoying and antagonistic bullshit, and if the posters on gaming can't rein it in it should just stop. It's just another way to shut down a different take without actually having to engage with it. That happens a lot more often on that side, it seems. To be fair to the Era community it was that way before too, as far back as I can remember. There have always been gaming posters who can't handle someone not being as excited about a game or a preview as they are.

I'm sorry to read that you continue to have these other struggles as well. I hope you know that I'm genuine in saying I'm rooting for you to overcome these challenges and get to a better place. All the love, man.

 

[Raum]

I'm sorry you feel that way and I hope you will get some peace of mind (and a different job!) soon. I'm a lurker first and foremost, always will be, but I'm enjoying your posts and I think you make this forum a better place.

Please stay safe.

 

[nachum00]

I always enjoy reading your post on the gaming side. I'm pretty jaded too when it comes to video games and it always irks me when I see half this forum jump down someone's throat for saying something bad about an entertainment product or massive company.

Don't stop expressing yourself no matter how much people get you down.

 

[Gleethor]

You're one of my favorite posters fwiw

 

[Ryu]

Nah! I enjoy most of your posts. Did you get banned or why do you feel that way? If that's the case, I got banned hard quite a few times and I always take it as a time for self reflection, still lurking, sometimes being a little bit angry or shocked at first, but then again, there was a reason for it. So I try my best to do it different next time. But after sitting out a ban it should be done too, from all people. Otherwise a ban isn't a solution. No biggies so... I like you!

 

[Hollywood Duo]

I've always enjoyed engaging with you even if we dont agree on everything. You are a very valuable member of our community.

 

[Foffy]

I recall seeing you post around with that avatar here. Never really seen you as a "problematic poster" from what I recall of posts I've noticed of yours.

Hope you can find a way to be kinder to yourself and to have space to do so. We're in really difficult times, and being aware of American politics, you know it's only getting more difficult. Solidarity and compassion are keys, and if compassion doesn't include oneself, it's incomplete.

 

[Call me YHWH]

First of all, I'm really sorry about your situation. You feel stuck in a feedback loop of negativity that becomes even more negative as it goes on. And it's a complex and multi-faceted loop, so just thinking about it feels overwhelming, adding to the negativity. Believe me, I get it.

If you just needed to vent, that's okay. However, if you were looking for some advice to help you break the cycle...

...You listed a few issues. Some of them are more under your control than others. My suggestion is to sort them from "more under my control" to "less under my control". Then pick the one that's most under your control and set a short or medium-term, specific, achievable goal.

You talked about your body. I am very sorry if this assumption is wrong or if it causes offense, but is it possible that the issue has to do with your level of fitness? If so, maybe that's a short term goal you could set for yourself. Designing a better diet for yourself (making sure it is sustainable, it shouldn't really feel like dieting) and even working out are things that not only will work towards solving the specific issue of fitness, but will also massively improve your mood in general, increasing your ability to relax and tackle the bigger problems.

You can do it, and I hope you'll feel better soon.

Click to shrink...

This is good advice. Not just for a single person, but for everyone. One of the biggest issues in any situation of change is working against our own ambivalence and sorting items into short term, medium term, and long term goals is a very good, visual way to combat that initial "why bother?" when we're looking to change.

Planetsmasher -- I feel you. Shit is really rough right now. My own employer is actively trying to nuke lunch breaks this week. My job itself is incredibly high stress, and as a higher up employee, I report directly to the foundation head, who hates me. Shit sucks.

I do think you would benefit from logging out of Era for while. The political side is rife with doomposters, hyperbole, and general malaise. The gaming side has goofy ass chuds, drive by posts looking to dunk on people, and console warriors (mostly --- there's good theads there if you look real hard.) And while I've had notice of how overtly negative you've been for a while now, I am unsurprised that it's got factors in real life attached to it.

This will be hard, but you can do it.

 

[Nocturnowl]

Gaming side just doesn't know how to deal with dissenting opinions, even if I don't always agree, I appreciate your posts and that they actually detail WHY you feel the way you do instead of drive by shitposts, I'd take a ton more planet smashers on this board, a veritable galaxy of destruction if you will!

 

[Cyclonesweep]

Negativity breeds negativity. It's something I've had to go thru and struggle to bounce back from too.

Life knocks you down a few times and then everything feels like it's knocking you down, you are negative about things you like and everything starts to feel worse.

I disagree with a bunch of your posts on the gaming side but I never really think you are a jerk. Some people get over defensive but that's unfortunately gaming as a whole. Tribalism sucks.

When it comes to the rest, and what has worked for me sometimes is....find something new to enjoy or be excited about outside of your regular. Find something that takes you away from your normal every day that's not part of your current cycle. A new hobby, going for walks or something. I started putting work into my yard and it surprisingly helped my mental health. Sometimes you get stuck in a rut or a cycle and everything feels like it loses meaning and you can get stuck in a negative cycle and see everything worse than it really is.

Find something new to break that cycle and be positive about. It helps.

All that said I think you have always seemed like a pretty swell person even if we disagree.

 

[samoscratch]

This place can really make you feel bad for making a mistake or saying something stupid, it can feel really hurtful when people dogpile.
Sometimes it's our own fault for being ignorant in the moment or for whatever other reason but other times it's not and people can be so damn rough and toxic.
Everyone should be a bit more lenient, including me.

 

[Alexhex]

I don't have a lot to offer considering I don't post on this side for similar reasons but, idk I like your posts. Gaming side is on average unfathomably stupid, gamers don't understand that negativity or criticism isn't inherently toxic and it can be insanely frustrating until you learn to detach yourself

 

[rpm]

I don't always agree with your opinions, but they are always well thought out, come from a place of heart and passion, and are genuinely a pleasure to read, unlike a lot of gaming side posts.

Seek mental help, if you can. It didn't help me much but it sure seems to help a lot of other people

 

[Makoto Yuki]

Gaming side just doesn't know how to deal with dissenting opinions, even if I don't always agree, I appreciate your posts and that they actually detail WHY you feel the way you do instead of drive by shitposts, I'd take a ton more planet smashers on this board, a veritable galaxy of destruction if you will!

Click to shrink...

This right here.

The moment you disagree with an opinion you are called "Fanboy, or hate Xbox or Playstation, etc etc." It's why I like discussing things with PlantSmasher who eloquently says why he/they don't like something rather than just jumping in and talking shit.

 

[Scarface]

For what its worth, I always enjoy reading your posts. Whether it be you passionately standing your ground about something you believe in or just you popping into a thread to chime in, its always a good time.

Negative or not, at least youre honest and not bullshitting. Its something i appreciate these days.

Era wouldn't be the shame without Planetsmasher arguing with the whole damn board at times. Please dont leave or change.

 

[True Prophecy]

Least your making an impression good or bad. Better than not existing like the majority of us.

Hope things turn around for you OP.

 

[apocat]

I like your posts.

And I'm really sorry to hear that you're in such an unbearable situation right now. It's not always going to be the way it is now. I hope things ease up, and that you find yourself in a different position in the near future.

 

[Zebesian-X]

This place isn't the same without you PlanetSmasher. I always take the time to read your perspective on games and I value it.

The one (and definitely biggest) downside to not having a reaction/likes system is that most of your interactions with others on this forum will be somewhat negative simply because 95% of the time you get quoted it's someone disagreeing with you. We're all guilty of it and I definitely only do the "agree with this" post when I vehemently agree or feel someone has captured about every thought I have on something.

Click to shrink...

Exactly this. 99% of the time I read a great post I feel weird just replying "agreed" or "same here!". As a result you only tend to get people that disagree with you responding to your statements.

 

[SolVanderlyn]

You're an intelligent and articulate person who contributes to threads in ways less thoughtful posts do not. I am only an internet person, so I can only comment on you as a fellow internet person, but your presence is appreciated.

I have noticed some overall negativity, but I understand that being in a rut in life can do that to you. Struggling with negativity in life sometimes makes it build up inside of you and release itself, like an infection of poisonous spores that burrow inside you and then propagate when they've gestated long enough. That's a pretty grim analogy, but I find it accurate. I don't think it is entirely your fault.

My advice to you would be to find other outlets for negative buildup, whether it be keeping busy or perhaps improving yourself with exercise and diet. Don't let anyone else judge you for the way you release your emotions unless you attack them directly, but also be mindful of spreading your inner negativity to others.

I'm sorry if I sound preachy. This is my way of trying to give advice and help you the small way that I can, so forgive me if I'm overstepping my boundaries.

You are significant and you do matter, something realized by others even on this very website. I hope you make it through this low point.

 

[Capra]

I disagree with your posts from time to time, but fuck all the people who try to gang up on you and single you out as some source of negativity. I like reading what you have to say.

 

[Nikus]

I think I've complained about your negativity some time in the past, or simply pointed it out in a jokey way, but I wouldn't want you to change. I value your opinion perhaps more, because of that. If anything, we need less blind hype and you're certainly not shitposting negative takes, so there's no issue.
In any case, you're a regular of the forum and not having your posts would suck. I like what I'm used to!

I hope you get better and your life gets better. But don't feel sorry for what you bring to discussions!

Edit: also you used to have a Clara Oswald avatar so you clearly have good tastes.

 

[Indy in the Fridge]

dude, gaming side sucks. don't let it impact your opinion of yourself. we want to hear your voice.

and it's hard to dig yourself out of negativity. it seeps into every facet of your life. all i can suggest is hone in on things that promote positivity and actively ignore threads related to politics or just subscribe to cat pictures and funny videos.

you'll come out of this soon.

 

[MrKlaw]

I was thinking after reading your OP how I'd respond. I've always enjoyed your posts and even the negativity is reasoned which I appreciate. you're also an old(er) timer and have been around since before this forum was a thing.

By the time I thought I'd reply, we'd got to 77 other people replying. Reading through some of those, they express my views better than I probably could myself. So pick a really nice one (echoshifting's is nice) and just read it twice and pretend one of those is from me

 

[Bongodaddy]

I'm almost exclusively a lurker here on ERA, so my opinion probably isn't of much note, but when skimming through threads you're one of the few people I stop at to actually read what you're saying. I (almost) always find you insightful and more often than not agree with you. I hope things turn around for you and would hate for you to be gone ❤️

 

[Deleted member 42484]

OP you seem cool to me, send me a DM if you wanna game online (I'm not good competing but I try) or chat.

You have friends here.

 

[Pargon]

It sounds like you should probably speak to a therapist about some of these issues, if you can.
And should probably look into options for changing jobs or moving.

What I can suggest is that you take a break from this forum and social media for a week or two to clear your head. Block the site, so you aren't tempted to check it.
Even if there are not negative opinions directed at me, sometimes I get stressed out just being here and have to take breaks like that. I was planning on doing it this week if it were not for E3.
If reading/discussing politics is stressing you out, don't engage with it.

You say that you like discussing TV shows but haven't been watching any lately. Try picking up a new series or revisiting some favorites. Maybe get into movies.
One of the things that I started during the pandemic was to pick out a selection of TV shows that I wanted to watch or re-watch, bought the box-sets (people offload an entire series for very little these days), and set up a "schedule" for them.
Part of it was leaning into nostalgia for when The Simpsons would be on every day at 6 PM, the X-Files was always on Wednesday night, a movie at 10 PM, etc, but I also liked the routine it set up.
I had been in a phase where I was feeling low and barely watching any TV or movies at all, and would binge them if I did watch anything.
Though I have dropped some of the shows now, doing that really got me back into it. Limiting myself to one episode a day at most and having a schedule to watch certain shows only once a week - no matter how much I wanted to keep going - was a positive change.

I'd also recommend that you find something you can do which doesn't involve looking at a screen at all.
Chill out and listen to music in a dark room or with mood lighting. Read a book, go for a walk, build models, buy a Lego set, paint miniatures, take up drawing, painting, cooking, etc.
Anything that you can do and get enjoyment from without seeking feedback or validation from others, and without being tethered to a screen.

 

[defaltoption]

Dude I like when you post on gaming, screw anyone on gaming side who doesn't like you, I definitely don't always agree with you but don't ever stop posting. You're gonna pull through this tough point. Once you find a new position near your family on the east coast I believe I remember you saying you're gonna be in a much better mindset. Take some time to relax and just play some old games you love, tbh also try and see someone like a therapist you can converse with too. I suffer from depression and one of the few things that make me genuinely happy is seeing others both happy and even angry at this time of the year, I love the reactions I love the discussions and maybe you can try to look for something in that as well, don't focus on things you don't like so much like companies buying companies and instead focus on the idea of games being something fun that brings people together just by virtue of everyone here enjoying them.

You absolutely have friends here.

 

[PlanetSmasher]

Thanks for the kind words, folks. One of the things that gets really hard is feeling like no matter where you go there isn't a place for you. I move around a lot, I've changed a lot about myself over the years but I've always suffered from a permanent case of impostor syndrome, like I'm always a stranger or an intruder in every space I try to be a part of.

Most of my hobbies are kind of dead because of the pandemic. I used to be an actor, but being entirely blunt with myself, I'm not good enough to be the kind of performer people are gonna be screaming to hire when they're trying to convince people to fill seats when Chicago reopens. I know that hobby is going to be closed off to me for the time being, which is one of the main reasons I want to leave the city.

Beyond that, I got really into D&D over the pandemic, but it's become so hard to keep playing with people constantly cancelling on me, so having a regular group to play with seems impossible. I don't know how to find new, reliable groups to play with and not having that outlet has only contributed to my constant feeling of just...having nothing.

 

[Ballerman]

i wouldnt say there's some endless stream of negativity from you as much as just a lot of opinions that tend to run contrary that are spoken in the classic Era way, and that inherently brings out a lot of replies.

my advice, and something i've also implemented, post whatever you want but turn off notifications in preferences. forums stop being fun and start being a massive pain when you have a tsunami of people replying to you in the same shitty way and you feel 'forced' to read them with that big red notification that pulls you in every time.

trust me, Era without notifications is a very peaceful place no matter how contrary you are. i cant even imagine going back to that hot mess

 

[Jamesways]

People are chippy in certain threads. It's insecurities and the need to feel validated for their belief systems. Any of those get questioned and it's met with aggression.

Don't let it get to you.

 

[Durden]

Planet I've spent enough time with you in discord to know you a little better. First off, fuck what era thinks of you. That's a general good rule of thumb for anyone to have really. You have a tendency to post things that cause people around here to want to dogpile. And man, do people here love a good dogpile.

I don't always agree with what you say at all, and if I'm being honest I think you sometimes have a tendency to word opinions in a way that may be irritating, or have a tendency to stick to your negative guns even when people are trying to dissuade you with reasonable points otherwise. Almost as if you want to be negative, maybe to help protect yourself. But that doesn't mean that you're a bad person. That just means you irritate some dweebs on a message board.

So don't worry so much about what others think. What you think of yourself is far more important. If you do feel as though you're too negative, concentrate on letting positive influences effect you more. It might sound impossible, but it's not. Just when you feel yourself wanting to counter a positive with a negative, then just let it pass and let the positive win. The more you do that, the more it will become natural. That doesn't mean you have to lose some of that negative...charm I guess....but you can find a better balance.

 

[DirtyLarry]

As an older gamer who once spent a whole lot of effort and energy on another gaming forum, let me assure you that your experience here is ultimately just a very small chapter in the overall story of your life. I know it may seem hugely important right now, but rest assured, it is not.

I know it is terribly hard to have perspective on something while you are living it. I truly, truly do. But I literally will PROMISE you that your overall experience here will one day just be something you look back on and not much else.

 

[Deleted member 6263]

I like seeing on you gaming side, OP. You have valid concerns at times, don't be too hard on yourself.

Also I miss your Locke avatar.

 

[PlanetSmasher]

I like seeing on you gaming side, OP. You have valid concerns at times, don't be too hard on yourself.

Also I miss your Locke avatar.

Click to shrink...

Locke will be back. Just changing things up for a little while.

 

[Klyka]

You seem fine to me on Gaming Side. It's a bit of a meme that you seem to always have problems with so many things in a game but it's not like it detracts from the game conversations or anything. It's just sometimes funny just HOW worked up you can get over different mechanics or parts of a game or difficulty over others in the same thread XD

Outside of all that I hope you can find the opportunities for positive changes in your life <3

 

[stn]

Take a break from this forum, politics, and the internet in general. Seriously. If you can, take time off and spend your time going for walks or doing anything else outside. We need fresh air and sometimes a bit of sun can do wonders. This is how I help myself when I've had a long week of being at home.

 

[SixtyFourBlades]

I hope you come back to the Genshin thread and post more. People can be dicks, but I do know that I appreciate you there if that means anything.

 

[Tattarus]

oh i feel you..
There are mornings when I wake up ant my first tought is "Oh shit...I'm still alive and a new day is starting..."
I'm almost in your same situation: living in a city i always wanted to leave (and i did, jut to came back for the wrong reason), in a job i don't like but i have to do (own business that's just picking up after the lockdown so can't change/look for somethin right now), always alone because the emotional state i'm in is preventing me to even enjoy the rare occasions i hang out with my friends (so when they say "hey let's do something!" i'm always like "i'm sorry but i'm busy") and the week ends are just long days where i smoke, watch tv and sleep...
But you know what?
It's a period.
I had good times in the past and this is just a bad time, it will go away and thing will get better one way or another.
Carry on and be strong
But, as some posters already said, if you can go and see a therapist. It's the one thing i will do as soon as i have the chance to go.

 

[PlanetSmasher]

I hope you come back to the Genshin thread and post more. People can be dicks, but I do know that I appreciate you there if that means anything.

Click to shrink...

I've been quietly making my way through Golden Apple Archipelago but other games have been eating up a lot of my time. When Inazuma opens you'll probably see more of me.

 

[Yasuke]

You're one of my favorite posters here 😕

Idk who's making you feel like a burden, but know it's not an opinion all (or even most) of us share.

 

[Wandering Robot]

I think you're cool, PlanetSmasher. I'm sorry things have been so difficult for so long.
What have you been playing recently?