Be prepared for a bunch of posts from people saying to leave her or it's over, etc.
Ignore them. A lot of them probably haven't had a long term marriage themselves to really know what they are talking about. Some of them may and are only speaking from there own experience. But you clearly don't want your marriage to end and there are ways to get your marriage help that you haven't done yet. If you want to fight for it, fight for it. So many couple's just give up today because they think that because it's broken it cannot be fixed, or have to much stupid pride to fix it.
What you need to do is open communication back up with your wife. Communication is essential to a lasting marriage. See if she wants to go to marriage counseling. Make the marriage counseling be about you and your issues if she refusing to acknowledge she has anything to do with the pain, but just make sure she goes too. If she won't, see a therapist yourself to help stear you through this mess.
And so what if she cheated? Yea it sucks. Probably is the biggest and most heart wrenching betrayal a person can do to another. But there is always a reason for cheating, sometimes those reasons do not mean the marriage has to end. This is where marriage counseling comes in. It is possible to come back from infidelity. The percentage of marriages that have one partner or another that haven't struggled with infidelity at some point are extremely low.
Something you (and really every young married couple in America) need to realize is that marriage is not all sunshine. And the hard times are not the times where you are broke or lost, but at least you have each other. The hard times, the darkest times, are when one or both of you are broken and you don't (or at least feel you don't) have the support of your partner.
Almost every long term successful marriage will go through these types of dark periods. We are only human and humans are incredibly flawed creatures. If you WANT to make the marriage work, then you need to set aside "deal breakers". If every marriage ended in divorce for cheating, 99% of marriages would never last. Now obviously if the cheating continues and doesn't stop then that's a different story. Also if there is abuse you need to address that quickly and if that means ending the marriage, that could be the best thing for everyone involved.
Now, if you absolutely cannot deal anymore and don't want to fight for your marriage, that's not necessarily a bad thing.
But it seems like you don't want it to end, which means you have a hard time ahead of you and you'll need to leave your "deal breakers" at the door. Trust me though, if it works, you two will likely be stronger for it when it's all over.
Edit: Even if she agrees to marriage counseling, you should also see someone by yourself as well. As a few others have pointed out, you seem to have some low self-esteem and talking to someone to help you sort through your own personal thoughts can be extremely beneficial whether or not you decide to fight for your marriage.
