Just... do this with her Switch Lite? I'm not understanding why you would do something as cruel as completely returning it instead of effectively parenting.
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I bought a Switch Lite for my daughter some days ago, and I'm starting to regret it
- Thread starter FernandoRocker
- Start date
I have found that children that play more video games than others end up more intelligent and wise (depending on the games and if they incorporate problem solving, reading and mapping). I agree with others and would limit her use of playing.
OP
OP
Just Mario Kart and Mario Odyssey. She is playing like 6 hours per day.
Short answer, probably not.
But she's gonna hurt more if you take the system away forever when in her probable thoughts she's done nothing wrong. I think even with autism, the concept of "you can't play this anymore today because it's out of battery" is a simple enough excuse to grasp. That's how my aunt got my autistic cousin to stop playing with an iPad for too long.
That's a lot! What happens if you take it from her? Does she start crying?
That's a difficult situation. Maybe create a time table with stickers or something for allowable play time.
Oh, I know not everyone is ignoring it, just hyperbole. But it is being overlooked.
ooo yeah, that's rough. im not a parent but i felt the same thing when i got my nephew a 3ds like 5 years ago. hes been obsessed with games ever since. My sister is a single parent and was in a very very rough spot at the time so understandably never set boundaries because fuck man she got him to do something so she can relax for a second. I still feel bad about it even tho my sister is like, annoyed by it but ultimately fine with it. Hes a bit better now, but it was pretty rough for a few years. I don't know how exactly id handle this as a parent, i'd be inclined to take it away until they learn some kind of self control. but i won;t know until im there ig uess.
As many others have said, the parental control app. A friend on mine has a son that is on the spectrum and he explained the schedule to him and the parental controls. He set up a certain amount of hours and times his son can play. He's very happy with it from what he's said.
OP
OP
OK. First answer I got thanks to this thread: I'm not going to return the Switch Lite. She will keep it.
See? That's why I created the thread.
See? That's why I created the thread.
Jesus Christ.
Tough spot OP, I would maybe try the time limits first and see how that goes. Maybe it's best to take small steps towards reducing her time with it. If that doesn't work, then returning it is the "nuclear option."
That's a good idea, especially with the parental controls set up too. It's worth trying and learning instead of just giving up right away.
OP
OP
Yes, she starts crying. She even cries when the battery depletes.
my brother in law has autism and loves gaming. it allows him to have control over something in his life (his mom is very controlling, and he's in his 30s and is basically still treated like a kid). I of course do not know you or your daughter's situation, and autism is of course a vast spectrum, but I'd suggest considering that your daughter might be getting something from the switch lite that she otherwise wouldn't get or hasn't gotten from other activities in her life. she might be connecting with gaming in a way she struggles to in real life. this could be an outlet for her for learning more about herself and understanding things.
what game(s) is/are she playing? can you try and get her some games that maybe help her developmental growth or trigger that spark in her eyes / feeling of control of something?
what game(s) is/are she playing? can you try and get her some games that maybe help her developmental growth or trigger that spark in her eyes / feeling of control of something?
Why return it? Just take it away and keep it, maybe you'll change your mind after a while. Unless you need the money, of course.
EDIT - Nevermind, you're keeping it. I think that's good, even if you have to take it away for a while.
EDIT - Nevermind, you're keeping it. I think that's good, even if you have to take it away for a while.
I have a son with autism myself and I am of the exact opposite opinion, it has helped him in every possible way - if we feel he's playing too much, we just limit the time. I'm not gonna tell you what to do - but I am very happy I let my son play videogames. I think the mindset that it's affecting her development progress might be an old school take. We brought it up to our doctors when we got the diagnosis 2 years ago and they even advocated video games (not all games ofc, and reasonable time)
His speaking and reading has improved a ton - and he's not even a english native speaker - Creativity and curiosity for stuff is increasing. In Minecraft for instance, the ability to create stuff is amazing.. he's not much of a painter but the stuff he creates in minecraft is mindblowing I wouldnt know he could create things like that based on his painting skills :P
If you think she plays too much, I'd just limit the playing time.
His speaking and reading has improved a ton - and he's not even a english native speaker - Creativity and curiosity for stuff is increasing. In Minecraft for instance, the ability to create stuff is amazing.. he's not much of a painter but the stuff he creates in minecraft is mindblowing I wouldnt know he could create things like that based on his painting skills :P
If you think she plays too much, I'd just limit the playing time.
I'm not a parent nor do I know the particulars of autism, but it sounds that your fear might be misplaced.
Anything in excess is a bad influence, so I don't think returning the gaming system would help it either.
Why not play with her for a few days until she learns that she can play for x hours long ?
Isn't there that 51 something game that's about to launch on Switch ? Might be a good pick. I used to play chess with my father as a kid and I have good memories of it and it also helped me to learn a lot.
What are you talking about? The worst kind of parent would ignore her autism and give her unlimited access to the Switch. Fuck outta here with this shit.
yeah this reminds me - a friend's son has/had speech issues and became a better speaker / struggled less with words by learning to read in game dialogue in Zelda and Pokemon.
I'm Asperger and obviously you're the one ignoring her autism here.
Hmm...don't you think you will be able to reduce the play time in the couple weeks ? Right now she is in the honeymoon phase.
Is the Switch Lite the only Switch in the household ? If you have a regular Switch already you could at least try to set up a more social gaming experience by playing games like MK together and telling her that she has limited time to play on her own.This would obviously als require to explain to her why these longer gaming sessions can be an issues.
Def. get why you would be worried about it but at the same time it doesn't seem like you have done alot to tackle/improve the situation.
Lots of step you could take before just taking the system away. But at the end you'll know what's best for you and your family.
She is gonna finish Odyssey at some point and even MK will get boring solo down the line...this really might just be the honeymoon phase.
Édit.
Though I think letting her spent that much time with the device early on was probably a mistake. Probably should have had some clear usage guide time lines early on. Because otherwise every kid as much time as possible with their first gaming systems. That's pretty much the expected outcome.
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Yeah I understand what you feel, OP.
My kids are allowed to play on my Switch from time to time, but only under my supervision. Otherwise they would ignore everything else...
My kids are allowed to play on my Switch from time to time, but only under my supervision. Otherwise they would ignore everything else...
Maybe the battery is your friend here.
Like "we can't charge it right now, so how about doing xyz..."
If she can't understand why her Swidch is blocked, I think it's a sign she might be too young to have a Switch.
I'm not a parent, but every brand new toy has a honeymoon phase where all you wanna do is play with it.
Not knowing anything else, at least there is that to consider. Monitor the situation and see how it play's out, and take necessary action without being too harsh right away.
Not knowing anything else, at least there is that to consider. Monitor the situation and see how it play's out, and take necessary action without being too harsh right away.
This. Seems like an extreme reaction that'll just upset her unnecessarily. My folks limited my game time when I️ was young and it was fine. You don't need to go through parental controls. Just explain she can only have it on weekends or whatever you end up deciding
I had all kinds of opinions on this one, but the autism complicates things. I don't know anything about autism, I don't know how autistic she is so I don't know if all the standard parental advice is applicable; so basically I'd say keep the switch and good luck to you. Hope you can figure out a way to keep you both happy.
PS. Guys it's okay to give out advice and takes without labeling the OP the worst or best parent ever.
He is asking for advice after all and is worried about his child. In the end every situation is diffrent - there isn't one right or wrong answer depending on the circumstances.
He is asking for advice after all and is worried about his child. In the end every situation is diffrent - there isn't one right or wrong answer depending on the circumstances.
I will never understand posting a parenting thread on resetera instead of talking to a professional who knows how to deal with kids with autism (especially with regards to video games). I feel like a lot of people who are posting either 1) don't have experience as parents, or 2) don't have the nuance and understanding about the spectrum for kids with autism.
Our 3 children have their own iPad, the smallest is 3. That doesn't mean that we let them use them unsupervised 24/7; in fact, we have very strict times when they may use them (= while we make dinner). In short, I can't understand how taking the Switch Lite away is the correct option for a toy you child enjoys.
Ok, I'll just say that that leaving a child to its own devices for 6(!) hours per day can not be healthy. What did you do with your child *before* you got the Switch?
"JuSt eXpLaIn it to Her!!?!?!?!?!"
OP, you done opened a big old Pandora's box by asking for parenting advice on the Internet. Whatever choice you make, hope it all goes smoothly.
(EDIT: Yeesh, although 6 hours a day is a bit much.)
I think it's normal to want to play with a cool new toy like the Switch Lite over stuff she's familiar with, especially if the world of video games is new to her — it's probably pretty engrossing and exciting in a very new way! Obviously up to you how to manage that, but I don't think a high amount of time spent with it is on its own a bad thing.
Chill the fuck out you don't know this person to say something so fucked up. Reporting to mod
As a parent my heart breaks at the thought of you returning a present that your daughter adores.
I think you should keep the Switch Lite, but set rules limiting the time allowed for videogames.
Just explain that some time the electronics need to rest too. It's not a lie and can only benefit her if she internalizes this concept now so that She doesn't have to worry about her future computer acting funny because she left it on for 5 solid months without turning the damn thing off. She would also save money on power bills too!
I'm only half joking, but working in IT, I've realized people leave their machines on way too damn long all the time and it never ends well.
I'm only half joking, but working in IT, I've realized people leave their machines on way too damn long all the time and it never ends well.
I have a 3.5 year old boy and a girl who turns 7 next month, and pre-pandemic we limited their screen time to 1-2 hours a day. Nowadays that has ballooned to 2-3 hours a day. We try to limit video game time to 30 minutes a day max-- although yesterday I did play Mario Odyssey with them for closer to an hour because I'm currently unemployed and was also fasting due to Ramadan and have nothing better to do. And usually video game time is them watching me. My daughter rarely wants to play, and while my son wants to play certain games-- we also limit that time and make sure he's not playing every day.
While I did grow up with video games and my wife didn't (she did play some games growing up but her mom is very anti-video game), we both have seen examples of kids being completely addicted to video games and don't want that for our kids. I think at some point I will be okay with them playing more when they are older, and we'll probably still put daily or weekly limits on, but not as severe as they are now.
I think these things affect different people in different ways. Another thing I'm very careful of with the kids right now is violence-- my son has been exposed to a little bit of it through cartoons, and he always wants to fight us or his sister now, so we're really careful to avoid content with fighting in it too.
While I did grow up with video games and my wife didn't (she did play some games growing up but her mom is very anti-video game), we both have seen examples of kids being completely addicted to video games and don't want that for our kids. I think at some point I will be okay with them playing more when they are older, and we'll probably still put daily or weekly limits on, but not as severe as they are now.
I think these things affect different people in different ways. Another thing I'm very careful of with the kids right now is violence-- my son has been exposed to a little bit of it through cartoons, and he always wants to fight us or his sister now, so we're really careful to avoid content with fighting in it too.
When a child is that young-- 4 years old, you don't just let them develop. You have to give them balance. It's the parent's responsibility.
Taking it away might be cruel considering she is autistic. People with autism depending on where they are in the spectrum can be have difficulty understanding even the basic form of punishment. I know because my brother is autistic but he his case a bit more then moderate. He couldn't speak properly until he was like 10 years old. But he is very intelligent and creative. Does a lot of art and is excellent in science courses.