And I'm back. Hero Protagonist, how we doin? Honestly had a bit of a setback myself for a bit but got back on track this week.
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How Does One Motivate Themselves (To Have A Better Life)?
- Thread starter Deleted member 35509
- Start date
I think that life and existence is beautiful and that Earth is basically paradise, it's just capitalism, colonialism, patriarchy, etc. that are ruining it. So, from my perspective, life is about simultaneously enjoying the gift of life while also devoting your energies and purpose to supporting and protecting that life.
OP
OP
I've regressed again.
Final Fantasy 12 released on the Switch, it's what I've been playing on the couch or in bed. I haven't written or applied to new jobs in days, lost track. I walk the dogs once a day instead of twice or three times like I used to. I wake up, read the news, start my game.
I avoided this thread like the plague because of it. Last night, my girlfriend told me that I really need to get serious about finding a job, it's starting to really bother her and she made it clear that it's serious. We went to sleep kind of miserable. I haven't been sleeping well in weeks, I get about 4 hours of sleep, maybe 5 if I'm lucky. I just snack a lot and order food during the day while I do nothing. I just feel so lazy, stupid and completely unmotivated. I'm 37, I feel like this is really it for me. I feel dumb when I write, like who cares? I love films but when I stand back, it feels so pointless and people involved with films usually seem so immature or do it for the money. I'm just a cynical, lazy asshole.
Final Fantasy 12 released on the Switch, it's what I've been playing on the couch or in bed. I haven't written or applied to new jobs in days, lost track. I walk the dogs once a day instead of twice or three times like I used to. I wake up, read the news, start my game.
I avoided this thread like the plague because of it. Last night, my girlfriend told me that I really need to get serious about finding a job, it's starting to really bother her and she made it clear that it's serious. We went to sleep kind of miserable. I haven't been sleeping well in weeks, I get about 4 hours of sleep, maybe 5 if I'm lucky. I just snack a lot and order food during the day while I do nothing. I just feel so lazy, stupid and completely unmotivated. I'm 37, I feel like this is really it for me. I feel dumb when I write, like who cares? I love films but when I stand back, it feels so pointless and people involved with films usually seem so immature or do it for the money. I'm just a cynical, lazy asshole.
I get that you avoid this thread because the idea of missing feels embarrassing. First off, it's fine. It is never too late to start again. The number of time's you've started doesn't count against an eventual success (actually it means the opposite, you are one failure closer to success). Our brains decide otherwise as we, over a series of failed attempts, start to associate the act of starting with eventual failure (subconsciously even) to where we dread even starting. One thing you have to do is extend that thought a bit further. Every attempt and failure is a step in an ongoing relentless pressure to erode the wall of the life we don't want. Your tool may break while trying to tear down the wall but you can keep making more tools while the wall will only continue to weaken. Trying again is winning. That's evolution for ya. Even if you come in this thread daily and just report "I didn't do shit", at least you have that consistency. Fuck whatever judgement anyone here has. This thread is just a place to track progress good or bad.
I fell off as well, not only on checking up on you (temp ban isn't an excuse for how long it took me to check back in). I just moved to Japan for 3 months of work and my routines leading up to the move and just after fell to shit. I broke a 53 day streak on completing every task of my morning routine. I then sputtered with 1-3 day streaks then a whopping 9 day gap. I've finally gotten back into my stride again at a 9 day streak. (Part I was laziest on was setting up a 3 month membership at a gym here). A few of my notes in my daily journal have self-disappointment in them which will happen from time to time, but the truth is I know I'll get better because it's either keep trying or do nothing at all and doing nothing at all gets painfully boring.
On the subject of your life direction: Art, like any attempt at actual expression, is never pointless.
It sounds like you're currently in a shit rut where you never get your fingernails under the edge of the day in order to pry out any kind of momentum. Build a morning ritual that gets you out of the house (since the home environment is too primed for distraction at the moment and we don't have the habitual capital to improve that yet). You want to apply for jobs and write daily correct? What precise tools do you need for that that have minimal distraction potential? Can you paper write? (At one point a bought an older word processor, device not software, so I could write without internet distraction). Where do you want to grind? I believe you had a specific cafe that was convenient? What clothes do you need to go there? Gather these and have them stacked and ready close by the night before so you can just grab and go. We have a natural tendency to put things off until tomorrow as it mentally associates success with ourselves (we envision and connect a future goal with ourselves) while simultaneously offloading the pain of the work to a future version of our self since the now you doesn't have to do a thing. A win win for now self. The way to pivot this sequence to a useful habit is put a thing off to tomorrow and prep for it. Establish every tool you'll need for the work tomorrow, organize it in an easy to put on/carry fashion, put it in an very visible close place, and set a timer on your phone or watch to trigger the start the next day. That way when your future self (who you selfishly delegated the task to) is confronted with the task you assigned it will be relatively friction-less.
So, lets map out everything you need tomorrow now. Whatcha got?
I fell off as well, not only on checking up on you (temp ban isn't an excuse for how long it took me to check back in). I just moved to Japan for 3 months of work and my routines leading up to the move and just after fell to shit. I broke a 53 day streak on completing every task of my morning routine. I then sputtered with 1-3 day streaks then a whopping 9 day gap. I've finally gotten back into my stride again at a 9 day streak. (Part I was laziest on was setting up a 3 month membership at a gym here). A few of my notes in my daily journal have self-disappointment in them which will happen from time to time, but the truth is I know I'll get better because it's either keep trying or do nothing at all and doing nothing at all gets painfully boring.
On the subject of your life direction: Art, like any attempt at actual expression, is never pointless.
It sounds like you're currently in a shit rut where you never get your fingernails under the edge of the day in order to pry out any kind of momentum. Build a morning ritual that gets you out of the house (since the home environment is too primed for distraction at the moment and we don't have the habitual capital to improve that yet). You want to apply for jobs and write daily correct? What precise tools do you need for that that have minimal distraction potential? Can you paper write? (At one point a bought an older word processor, device not software, so I could write without internet distraction). Where do you want to grind? I believe you had a specific cafe that was convenient? What clothes do you need to go there? Gather these and have them stacked and ready close by the night before so you can just grab and go. We have a natural tendency to put things off until tomorrow as it mentally associates success with ourselves (we envision and connect a future goal with ourselves) while simultaneously offloading the pain of the work to a future version of our self since the now you doesn't have to do a thing. A win win for now self. The way to pivot this sequence to a useful habit is put a thing off to tomorrow and prep for it. Establish every tool you'll need for the work tomorrow, organize it in an easy to put on/carry fashion, put it in an very visible close place, and set a timer on your phone or watch to trigger the start the next day. That way when your future self (who you selfishly delegated the task to) is confronted with the task you assigned it will be relatively friction-less.
So, lets map out everything you need tomorrow now. Whatcha got?
OP
OP
You always make feel better. I thought you would give up on me, reading your comments always inspire me or make me feel okay. Thank you for taking the time. I wish I was as strong as you already.
Really, I just need my regular clothes (jeans, t-shirt) with my laptop tomorrow. I don't even browse a lot on my laptop, I used my phone for that. And the Switch being portable has been a curse, not a blessing. I think the less you're on here, the less motivated I am if that makes sense haha. I just don't want to lose everything, I love my girlfriend dearly and I can see what I'm doing to her. I would feel the same as her. She just wants me to be my old self again; motivated and working, on anything.
Ok then, go ahead now and stack the clothes you want for tomorrow next to your shoes. When you're done with the laptop today, leave it on that same stack so you can go to that one place and grab them all. Set a phone alarm now to wake you up enough to stumble to that pile. What time do you want to regularly wake up. With the ridiculous time difference I may be able to help on that front as well.
If you're down, we start again tomorrow. We fight at dawn.
If you're down, we start again tomorrow. We fight at dawn.
OP
OP
Wednesday started off well. Tea in the morning, after forcing myself to get up for the alarm. Wrote a little bit, did some work. So better but not where I was.
I'm back to this cycle of being totally self defeating. I just don't think I'll be successful in anything so what's the point? I'm so hung up on my age and people keep telling me, just write. Just do it. Successful people just do it and see what happens but you know, it's so much easier said than done.
I'm back to this cycle of being totally self defeating. I just don't think I'll be successful in anything so what's the point? I'm so hung up on my age and people keep telling me, just write. Just do it. Successful people just do it and see what happens but you know, it's so much easier said than done.
You have been successful before though. You've had a good streak not too long ago. It's not "just do it" its do any bit of it. Do the absolute smallest amount and do that consistently. When you read this, if you haven't written your sentence, do it right now. Hell do it in this thread. Hell that sentence can be "I dont want to write a sentence" and you'd be done. One sentence a day. Consistency. Also, what time EDT do you want to write daily?
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OP
OP
Oh my gosh, I thought I replied! See how out of it I am?
Building a morning routine, again, has helped. Waking up early, having tea and something to eat then working. Writing is going okay. Still dealing with the depression and the feeling of pointlessness writing fiction but I try to push passed it. I'm still sticking to extremely small daily goals. Anything more than a page of writing or too much walking and I do give up, I get lazy.
Building a morning routine, again, has helped. Waking up early, having tea and something to eat then working. Writing is going okay. Still dealing with the depression and the feeling of pointlessness writing fiction but I try to push passed it. I'm still sticking to extremely small daily goals. Anything more than a page of writing or too much walking and I do give up, I get lazy.
Commented earlier that my first bit of advice was to exercise more and stop playing video games, I still hold this advice for myself, but I think a really keen mindset in how to motivate self-improvement is to be open and seek out new experiences. Read more, watch movies, do activities that break your routine occasionally, e.g. baking, hiking, conversations, meditation, etc.
I think leaving your comfort zone, even slight departures, create experiences that you might find exponentially more rewarding than previous life experiences and also help you find a passion that you'd want to dedicate notable time to learning and enjoying.
I think leaving your comfort zone, even slight departures, create experiences that you might find exponentially more rewarding than previous life experiences and also help you find a passion that you'd want to dedicate notable time to learning and enjoying.
OP
OP
It's 430 am and I can't sleep. I woke up at 4, stressed. I'm now having a panic attack. My poor girlfriend has work in the morning and I tried waking her because I was having trouble breathing and she told me I'm fine, to just try and sleep. She has a lot of work plus has the stress of the Bar exam coming up in July and I wake her at 430am, selfishly.
I know Midramble , I know. I'm sorry. I keep waking up around this time lately but I haven't had a panic attack in a while. I only started seriously looking for a job again in the past month. Nothing. Totally stopped my screenwriting. I've gained more weight. I'm 36 and I feel like I'm dying again. What's wrong with me? Why am I so physically and mentally lazy? I told my therapist months ago I'm depressed and the biggest reason is I don't have a career, I'm jealous of everyone who has found their passion and doing what they love. That I love to write but I'm too depressed to write and would rather play video games or sleep.
You guys have been a huge help, given me so much advice and I felt good for a few weeks at different points taking your advice. But I've been back at square one for weeks again, like a child who never learns.
Being 36 and jobless, not pursuing my dreams infuriates me and is killing me. My panic attack is slowing down, thank goodness for this forum. I just want to be able to sleep well again instead of being stressed and so overweight again.
Everyone saw this coming, this breakdown. I'm exhausted. I'm going to be 50 years old in 13 years and look at me. Pathetic.
I know Midramble , I know. I'm sorry. I keep waking up around this time lately but I haven't had a panic attack in a while. I only started seriously looking for a job again in the past month. Nothing. Totally stopped my screenwriting. I've gained more weight. I'm 36 and I feel like I'm dying again. What's wrong with me? Why am I so physically and mentally lazy? I told my therapist months ago I'm depressed and the biggest reason is I don't have a career, I'm jealous of everyone who has found their passion and doing what they love. That I love to write but I'm too depressed to write and would rather play video games or sleep.
You guys have been a huge help, given me so much advice and I felt good for a few weeks at different points taking your advice. But I've been back at square one for weeks again, like a child who never learns.
Being 36 and jobless, not pursuing my dreams infuriates me and is killing me. My panic attack is slowing down, thank goodness for this forum. I just want to be able to sleep well again instead of being stressed and so overweight again.
Everyone saw this coming, this breakdown. I'm exhausted. I'm going to be 50 years old in 13 years and look at me. Pathetic.
Would you be willing to take a "shitty" job for the time being? Maybe it would take at least some of the guilt you might be feeling for not doing anything away.
I was there a while back and I took a job working at a shady fish and chip joint until things got better.
I was there a while back and I took a job working at a shady fish and chip joint until things got better.
Haven't read all the thread but have you seeked therapy? Either way...
You're going to have to start making conscious and very disciplined steps to build habits (healthy ones) that battle your depression or abundant cynicism. Your depression is going to make you feel like you're alone on some island and that anything and everything you do won't be worth a damn. There's a resistance between you and the better life that you want for yourself right now Hero Protagonist, you will not go against it every time but you will have to cause some friction every now and then to build the habit of going against it moving forward. First you will have to accept your circumstances now and find some kind of contentment or gratitude in that like having a great partner for example. At the same time, take responsibility for it as well, this will give you power over your situation.
From here on out I think mentally it would serve you to stop comparing yourself to your friends or where they are right now and just compare yourself to who you were yesterday. They are people with their own set of issues just like you.
Write for yourself first if it brings you intrinsic joy and don't worry if anyone sees it. This is about you simply putting something on that blank slate and pushing against the forces that will have you do nothing. With me and my art it's all about having the courage to put something on that blank canvas for me first and foremost. It's not selfish, it's necessary for my self-esteem and progress.
As someone who has made a ton of progress since last year I still have very harsh cynical days but my work has allowed me to handle these setbacks better. You will need to vent on your bad days and not be emotionally repressed to avoid agonizing on the bad shit but this is a skill you need to start ASAP. Behavioral changing, habit changing, and learning how to respond to your negative thoughts is a skill that needs to be nurtured and it doesn't happen overnight. It will take everything you've got and you cannot be hard on yourself or self sabotaging whenever you come up short. Believe me when I say you're capable because we all are. Tell your partner all the things you want to do and have her check in on you. She sounds really supportive of you and I know the last thing you want to do is drag her down. Good luck OP. You aren't the only one out there trying to be their best self so hit me up if you ever want to talk. Hope this helps in someway.
PS dreams don't come true, decisions do.
You're going to have to start making conscious and very disciplined steps to build habits (healthy ones) that battle your depression or abundant cynicism. Your depression is going to make you feel like you're alone on some island and that anything and everything you do won't be worth a damn. There's a resistance between you and the better life that you want for yourself right now Hero Protagonist, you will not go against it every time but you will have to cause some friction every now and then to build the habit of going against it moving forward. First you will have to accept your circumstances now and find some kind of contentment or gratitude in that like having a great partner for example. At the same time, take responsibility for it as well, this will give you power over your situation.
From here on out I think mentally it would serve you to stop comparing yourself to your friends or where they are right now and just compare yourself to who you were yesterday. They are people with their own set of issues just like you.
Write for yourself first if it brings you intrinsic joy and don't worry if anyone sees it. This is about you simply putting something on that blank slate and pushing against the forces that will have you do nothing. With me and my art it's all about having the courage to put something on that blank canvas for me first and foremost. It's not selfish, it's necessary for my self-esteem and progress.
As someone who has made a ton of progress since last year I still have very harsh cynical days but my work has allowed me to handle these setbacks better. You will need to vent on your bad days and not be emotionally repressed to avoid agonizing on the bad shit but this is a skill you need to start ASAP. Behavioral changing, habit changing, and learning how to respond to your negative thoughts is a skill that needs to be nurtured and it doesn't happen overnight. It will take everything you've got and you cannot be hard on yourself or self sabotaging whenever you come up short. Believe me when I say you're capable because we all are. Tell your partner all the things you want to do and have her check in on you. She sounds really supportive of you and I know the last thing you want to do is drag her down. Good luck OP. You aren't the only one out there trying to be their best self so hit me up if you ever want to talk. Hope this helps in someway.
PS dreams don't come true, decisions do.
99.9% of people aren't at the pinnacle of what they do. The point is to get by and enjoy your life. You can't enjoy life by constantly laying around the house. The human brain doesn't work that way. Idle hands bring depression. Literally your freedom and time are what is depressing you. If you got out and into a job your mental state would improve but it's going to take you forcing yourself to do it.
You're going to lose everything if you don't act so that should be motivation enough. At this point your negativity is like manifest destiny. I'd suggest faking it until you make it. Pretend to be motivated, stick to a schedule and get out there.
Hey Hero Protagonist. At this point my post is a necrobump. I've been out of the country for a few months and when I got there my routine completely died. Made it to the gym for 2 months of it but stopped the last month. Journal got full and didn't buy another. Went to rock bars 3-4 days of the week.
I completely fell off the wagon. I felt guilt and mounting anxiety on whether or not I could get back into my pattern. That said I kept looking on my time there as a wonderful experience (it was). Loved all the people I met and wouldn't trade a single experience (bad or good). With that in hand I could stop worrying about getting back into rhythm and instead believed that I could do it. Not because I have the will power, but because I've gotten into rhythm before so logically I can do it again. Didn't the first week I was back, but now I am back on schedule. Actually better than I was before as the pattern shake up knocked off some of the dull moss I was gathering from my routine.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've hit a pattern before. Thus you can again. Small steps. First you have to stop getting in your own way by forgiving yourself. If you do nothing but blame yourself for failure and only think of what you did wrong you're not going to have any headspace for what you've already done right.
So how you doin now?
I completely fell off the wagon. I felt guilt and mounting anxiety on whether or not I could get back into my pattern. That said I kept looking on my time there as a wonderful experience (it was). Loved all the people I met and wouldn't trade a single experience (bad or good). With that in hand I could stop worrying about getting back into rhythm and instead believed that I could do it. Not because I have the will power, but because I've gotten into rhythm before so logically I can do it again. Didn't the first week I was back, but now I am back on schedule. Actually better than I was before as the pattern shake up knocked off some of the dull moss I was gathering from my routine.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've hit a pattern before. Thus you can again. Small steps. First you have to stop getting in your own way by forgiving yourself. If you do nothing but blame yourself for failure and only think of what you did wrong you're not going to have any headspace for what you've already done right.
So how you doin now?
I didn't read too much into other peoples breakdowns. But all those routines can come crashing down on you at anytime, such is life, just like a job your girlfriend has. SHit can go south. It's how we deal with it that makes us be able to dust off, start again like you have been doing with routines.
The thing is depression, anxiety come from a place of uncertainty and lack of self confidence. If you have no confidence in yourself all this will be in vain. I think you have a bigger issue you have to deal with first.
Sounds like you've dealt with depression before this breakdown that happened in the past couple years. My brother went through the same thing as you. He's now in a pretty happy place. ANd he doesn't even make as much money as I do. I have a decent career, it's not my dream job, because my dream job was to work in games. But the reality was I went to artschool, did internships in San francisco with couple game companies and saw the state of the industry and said big old NOPE.
I want to have job security. So I got into something close to games, tv industry. I work at a small tv station, and make pretty good money. I worked my ass off to even get this far. I have the same bullshit degree as you do. But it took years, and finally I'm at a place in my life where I was finally able to buy a new car for the first time. It's not brand new it's a 2016, but new to me.
The thing no one here is asking you is the most important thing I've learned in not fully doing what I dreamed of doing, is what makes you happy?
Quality of life is more important than having a career people can admire about you or is a talking point at dinner with friends. Do what makes you happy, and if your miserable with regular jobs, then you have to ask yourself what your ok with doing as long as you can have a life and a good one.
Just because your not writing the next screenplay for a big movie, indie film or tv show doesn't mean you can't be a writer for something that pays well. If the work your doing is more important in terms of how it makes you feel than what it pays then do it.
But know you have to ask yourself what makes you happy. If you can't answer that then I suggest you get therapy or talk to someone else besides your girlfriend. Not everyone has the perfect mindset/family environment/ to have a super positive path to happiness and success. Something teachers, adults like our parents have no clue on how much harder in this day in age it is to just have a job that pays the bills.
If you like plays games, honestly look into writing or being a social media manager for a game company if you live in a metro area. If you love games and wouldn't mind doing some stuff that may not be super fulfilling but may lead to a fulfilling job then just try it.
But know having a fulfilling job may not also bring you happiness. Happiness and quality of life is up to you in how or what makes you feel good. I am not doing what my dream job is, but I actually enjoy most of what I do, get paid well, and work with people who are like close family to me. And I'm content. I have a nice place, I play a lot of games, and have people who socialize with me.
Do I wish I worked for sega, naughty dog or someone like that? Yea I do. But I also don't want to wake up one day when a studio downsizes or closes and have to frantically move somewhere.
If you have had depression way before this crisis, then I would say there is a deeper rooted issue that has to be dealt with that is causing your slump. Like others have said eating healthy, working out or at least being regularly active will help a lot. Look into any job thats about writing, even being a copy writer. They get paid super well, and can lead to other writing jobs because of people who work in the industry tend to contract lots of those.
Just wanted to drop in here and say that this thread has been really great to follow. I'm going through a similar difficult period in my life and being able to read someone else work through it is very encouraging.
OP, one of your biggest issues is comparing yourself to others (in terms of accomplishments/happiness). There is no reason to do this, you have to compare yourself to yourself. Compare yourself where you are now and where you want to be, the key to your success is not only to find the goals to achieve your end-goal but how you can realistically make the changes to make goals obtainable. Your age at this point doesn't matter, as long as your willing to make the change starting now.
Life changes are only accomplished when you learn to overcome/push yourself beyond your uncomfortable situations. In a sense, sitting on the couch playing games will delay any change because you find comfort in that situation. If you really want to motivate yourself, you take a good look at your uncomfortable situation(s) and start making changes to make those uncomfortable situations... more comfortable. Motivation doesn't come only when the good times are around, sometimes it's really hard to be motivated when things seem to look negative.
Life changes are only accomplished when you learn to overcome/push yourself beyond your uncomfortable situations. In a sense, sitting on the couch playing games will delay any change because you find comfort in that situation. If you really want to motivate yourself, you take a good look at your uncomfortable situation(s) and start making changes to make those uncomfortable situations... more comfortable. Motivation doesn't come only when the good times are around, sometimes it's really hard to be motivated when things seem to look negative.
This is always a good one I've seen before. Starting with an amount that is too small to say no.
Hero Protagonist, how we doin?
Hero Protagonist we're rooting for you! No stress, just restart the progress slowly. A lot of people here who've been there.
OP
OP
I just turned 37, have no career despite now throwing 30 resumes a day out there, my girlfriend is getting tired of hearing excuses and I play videogames all day despite having started but not finished at least half a dozen screenplays that could be sold because I actually have an "in". So, no, it's easy to compare myself to others. There comes a point when you have to. You can't say, "...just because they're 37 like you but are in the thick of their career...", that can't apply anymore. There is no excuse except I'm lazy and depressed. I've gained 16 pounds in the past 5 months (the most I've ever weighed) and I can't stop eating when there's food in front of me.
When I start to write, I shut down because I don't think there's a point. I cannot afford therapy and I have no insurance, that's what happens when you're jobless. I'm thankful everyone cares, I really am, but so many things are easier said than done. I've looked for free therapy around the city, there isn't any close by. There's 2,000 job openings in the city, my degree feels pointless because no one is calling. Sometimes I think it's my name or my age that's turning them off.
It's now been 9 months without a job. I'm running low on savings and being depressed makes it really hard to write or be creative in a positive way.
OP, sometimes you have to force yourself into uncomfortable situations. That's the only way you will grow or network. I am a very lazy person at heart as well. There are many days where I know I should be doing something more productive but its hard to get the motivation. There are still days that I cant get over it and just vegetate but I try to force myself out as much as possible. Networking these days is absolutely worth its weight in gold but it doesnt happen over night, you gotta start somewhere.
Completely normal OP. When you realize how insignificant we all are it becomes weirder and weirder how vain some people are about their career and shit.
Do stuff you like. But one thing that absolutely helps is moving. Walking, hiking, sports, etc. Your motivation should be this: YOU ONLY HAVE ONE SHORT LIFE.
You can do nothing and that's perfectly okay. But you can also learn things you think are cool and go places you think are cool. Do it with people you think are cool.
Do stuff you like. But one thing that absolutely helps is moving. Walking, hiking, sports, etc. Your motivation should be this: YOU ONLY HAVE ONE SHORT LIFE.
You can do nothing and that's perfectly okay. But you can also learn things you think are cool and go places you think are cool. Do it with people you think are cool.
OP
OP
Holy shit congrats!
If you hate it you could start on the editing or do you plan on starting a new one?
That's great!
Recommend putting it aside for a bit because exposure can exacerbate the hatred. Letting it sit is totally fine.
OP
OP
I have to take a break from it, it drained me. I guess it's something but it drained me so much, I have no feelings of accomplishments from it. Would you mind reading it at some point? I don't want to send it to random people for obvious reasons but I'd like dozens of opinions on it.
Wulfric Good, I'm glad, everyone deserves happiness. I still feel like a bum but maybe this first "accomplishment" can help me.
HELL YEAH!!!! Great to hear! The hardest thing to do is simply finishing it.
I'm bedridden for the next week, so if you'd like to share via PM and want some constructive feedback I would gladly do so. Anyway, good on you for getting it done.
Motivation isn't something you gets you started, motivation only kicks in once you start doing something.
Is there a reason you haven't sold your video game systems? If it's truly an addiction you need to remove it from your house.
OP
OP
I can't, no way. I'd be so mad haha. It's the best escape and I love RPGs too much. Leveling up characters makes me feel so good.
But if you recognize it's impeding on your life, relationship, and contributing to further depression and weight gain it's clearly not good for you. An alcoholic would say alcohol is there best escape as well, that doesn't mean it's right. You need to re-evaluate what video games are actually doing for you holistically. I would recommend getting rid of them for 60 days and see what it does for you mentally and physically.
Escapism is nice, but the first step is recognizing you might have a problem. If you're just playing videogames all day while not having a career, how long do you think your SO will be willing to put with that for?
Games are a fun but ultimately hollow pursuit. You need to understand that things like that become far less meaningful when you have real direction in your life (a career you're passionate about, children, etc.).
I am 36 years old, wife and 2 dogs - had a good job in London but had a mental breakdown and quit - we moved to a smaller city where its more affordable so we could live off 1 wage.
I was self employed for going on 2 years - was earning an average income for the first 12 months but has fallen apart since then with the last 6 months I've earn next to nothing except a few level 120s in WoW. It's clearly now failed and I have to move on.
Sadly I have no real skills except a very niche aspect of the finance world so where I live now I am forced to only apply for standard admin jobs or retrain in something but the thought of doing that fills me with dread and I have no fucking clue WHAT I would even want to do or how I could afford it.
Also most worryingly is the few jobs I have actually been bothered to apply for which I assumed I would easily get I didn't even get an interview!
So yea life sucks and I feel ya man. Luckily I have my wife and dogs or i'd be fucked!
I was self employed for going on 2 years - was earning an average income for the first 12 months but has fallen apart since then with the last 6 months I've earn next to nothing except a few level 120s in WoW. It's clearly now failed and I have to move on.
Sadly I have no real skills except a very niche aspect of the finance world so where I live now I am forced to only apply for standard admin jobs or retrain in something but the thought of doing that fills me with dread and I have no fucking clue WHAT I would even want to do or how I could afford it.
Also most worryingly is the few jobs I have actually been bothered to apply for which I assumed I would easily get I didn't even get an interview!
So yea life sucks and I feel ya man. Luckily I have my wife and dogs or i'd be fucked!
Making comparisons yourself with others will usually end up with a negative outcome, it's simply not worth the effort.
More importantly, you're stuck with with a huge regret. That you're now 37 and time has passed you by in many aspects of your life. But it's time to let your past stay behind you, you can't focus on the past/negativity. You need to move on forward with your life, and that means applying changes in your life you might not have needed before.
I feel like you're trying to solve all your problems all at once, when it doesn't always work that way. You established that you're lazy and depressed (one reason you're depressed is because you're lazy). Please tell me what steps you're making in overcoming being lazy. Acknowledging that you're lazy is one thing, making the change to be more active is another... and it's not easy. I do get that it's difficult to have the energy to do things when you're depressed but you also have to make some kind of change to reach a state of non-lazy no? We don't just suddenly wake up one day being motivated and active...
It's way easier said than done, I can't say I'm truly motivated yet but I'm working on it!
Job seeking can be pretty damn discouraging but keep hanging in there, you'll get something. Is no one calling you when you submit your job application or is it no one is calling you back after an interview? Have you asked them why they haven't called you [back]? I realize these are uncomfortable questions and they may come with some uncomfortable answers but again if you don't make changes why would you expect a different outcome?
I think the whole point of both my posts (sorry if it felt like a lecture) is that you're focusing too much on the negative stuff, all the things you can't change. When you should focus your efforts on making changes to things that you do have control over. Anyways, I wish you the best in your personal growth. Keep us updated!