It's got a shitload of good advice about what not to do and a lot of Era members should read it.
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Help me learn origami. Want to impress my crush at Whole Foods
- Thread starter MajulaDream
- Start date
It cracks me up that a thread about a grocery store cashier (among other things) has 500+ posts and counting, and that this girl will live her life never knowing about any of it. lol
Harder disagree. Op said they get along so casually dropping in fancy getting a coffee is no biggie. She says no you move on.
This would have been just one of the many ways people started dating before Tinder and social media. It's not new and not weird.
Let's just not talk to the opposite sex then unless they happen to swipe ! JFC.
"The fame I never knew" - Biopic released 50 years later after this thread is discovered
Jesus fucking Christ that reddit post. Part of me wants to believe it's not true but sadly I know it is.
Just another reason to hate people. You "hitting on the ladies at work is cool" posters need to read that shit and have a think.
It's a sobering thought that girl cashiers like her could have pages and pages of rants in incel forums just because she didn't smile enough / look in the general direction of an incel who shopped there.
You sure are annoyed that women advise not to attempt to pick up women who are only being nice because their livelihood would otherwise be threatened.
You're right. That's a failure on my part. Makes more sense why people reacted strongly. I actually roleplayed it with my wife while mentioning the origami and she said I was creepy.
My apologies all.
Me: Please don't hit in women at their work
You: Ok I'll never talk to women ever again.
You honour I'd like to file this as Exhibit L
We can't even shake women's hands anymore!!!!!
I never allow myself to be alone with a woman! Scary times for us men, amirite???
This thread is a meme. People are just attacking each other based on 'creep' factor, lol
Minimum regret social interactions lmao
Exactly, this is fine.
The origami thing could have been a talking point for later, if things actually developed.
Anyway, gg OP, it was worth a try.
Lol, that went out of hand, fast.
About right here: "I asked for her number anyway though laughing saying if she's not serious about the guy she should give me a shot one day haha"
Could detect the arrogance and indifference from a mile away.
Seems really extreme, and I doubt most people even think like that.
Minimum regret social interactions lmao
Exactly, this is fine.
The origami thing could have been a talking point for later, if things actually developed.
Anyway, gg OP, it was worth a try.
Lol, that went out of hand, fast.
About right here: "I asked for her number anyway though laughing saying if she's not serious about the guy she should give me a shot one day haha"
Could detect the arrogance and indifference from a mile away.
Seems really extreme, and I doubt most people even think like that.
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I would have invited myself along on the hike and waited for an opportune moment, like dusk, to propose a threesome.
OP
OP
http:///HfAd.jpeg
Thank you for the advice, conversation, and education ERA
This one is for everybody in RESETERA haha 😁
Cheers!
Thank you for the advice, conversation, and education ERA
This one is for everybody in RESETERA haha 😁
Cheers!
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ERA's origami flower
OP
OP
Honestly OP handled himself pretty damn well throughout this thread. Cheers.
Reading some of the comments.. some people have no concept of how dating worked before all the apps. It's okay to ask someone out in public - just don't be a creep about it.
The OP had a history of small talk with the individual- no harm in asking for a coffee - although the fact she brought up her bf right away is probably a sign she knew you were crushing on her.
Reading some of the comments.. some people have no concept of how dating worked before all the apps. It's okay to ask someone out in public - just don't be a creep about it.
The OP had a history of small talk with the individual- no harm in asking for a coffee - although the fact she brought up her bf right away is probably a sign she knew you were crushing on her.
I've went on dates and ended up in relationships with girls (customers and co-workers) that asked me out at work. I don't see the big deal with it. Just casually ask her and if she says no then move on. Don't make a big deal about it.
Edit: Oops, thought it said 2 pages not 12.
Since you quoted my post I just want the thread to know that I thought heavily about this over a few days and discussed it with my wife and got her input and I kinda evolved my opinion on the subject. As a side note, this is one of those topics that seems to be heavily debated all over the internet.
I previously felt that people typically get to ask out other people one time and then they get to take their rejection and leave.
Other posters here were making an argument that made it sound like this woman is being asked out the one time by this one person and then she would forever be uncomfortable in her place of employment which - seemed very exaggerated to me.
What I hadn't considered is the sheer frequency and constant barrage of flirtation and advances that customer facing women have to deal with on a daily basis. It never occurred to me that they get hit on about as often as a god damn bartender - who typically has heard every line in the book. So adding to a day in and day out pile of constant advances seems substantially more cruel in that context. Not only that, like the bartender, it drastically reduces your chances of success since she is likely to be defensive or apathetic to really anyone hitting on her as a result. From the male perspective, most of us get hit on so infrequently that it's usually both flattering and unusual. The few times this happened to me in customer service, it wasn't a big deal because it was maybe a biannual event?
Further, there is definitely an ethical sliding scale to this where the more the person depends on being nice to you for their income, the more you shouldn't ask them out with tipped employees being the most egregious.
So if I had to give my advice over again, it would be that if she was interested in you then she has to make the first move. I'd also operate under the assumption that most of these young and attractive women working retail and customer service jobs, have heard and seen it all before.
Are people really saying you should never ask anyone out at their workplace? I mean if that's literally the only place you see/know them from and you like them and want to know if they like you, what on earth should you do? Wait outside? That's creepy, send a random facebook request? Again, creepy as hell.
Your only option is to either broach the subject while at the workplace or just say nothing and potentially miss out on an amazing relationship.
There's no harm in simply asking someone out, it's how you go about it that matters.Simply asking if they would be interested in grabbing some coffee or something sometime? All they have to do is say yes/no/they are seeing someone.
Your only option is to either broach the subject while at the workplace or just say nothing and potentially miss out on an amazing relationship.
There's no harm in simply asking someone out, it's how you go about it that matters.Simply asking if they would be interested in grabbing some coffee or something sometime? All they have to do is say yes/no/they are seeing someone.
you're assuming that at worst this is an inconvenience for the employee... it's not
There is harm to the employee, maybe not to you. You're being selfish and not even thinking about the employee, how the constant advances affect her work and livelihood. You're not thinking of repeat customers and how this affects future transactions. You're not thinking about a customer who seeks such an encounter and is only interested in asking an employee out, and once rejected, never comes back to be a customer again. You make it out to be like there's a need to ask an employee out or you miss out on an amazing relationship, but this "amazing" is based on nothing and isn't worth trusting as advice. There are many legitimate avenues of asking out, but not when an employee whose job is to be nice and works there for however long has to deal with the various outcomes of customers asking her out: stalking, rejection leading to insults or further to violence, being made uncomfortable, and a distraction from doing her job.
Read thewienke 's post above when you start thinking it from the employee's perspective and how that might change your mind.
Yeah, that Reddit post really is something. I knew what I was in for when I clicked that link, but it was so much worse than I had thought. The lack of self-awareness of this guy is astounding (and that's his side, imagine how the clerk would recount all this).
That is even worse but if you're not joking, read the threadmarks.
It's a great idea, I think. People want correspondence that's personalized and fixed. It's meaningful.
Man that's a book I haven't thought of in a long time
Edit: People really need to have conversations on how to not be creepy don't they
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OP, you did well.
I'm so glad you didn't do some creepy ass shit and instead you had a regular conversation and learnt some Origami.
I'm so glad you didn't do some creepy ass shit and instead you had a regular conversation and learnt some Origami.
You're projecting on what I said.
What do you think people did before the internet? If you're respectful and not creepy it is ok to ask someone if they'd like to get a drink, there is literally nothing harmful about simply asking that, they do not have to say yes and most people are levelheaded enough to understand no and be ok with it.
There's always going to be those that aren't but you can't tell everyone else that they shouldn't because "This other random crazy person did this and therefore no one should be allowed to."
I mean there's crazy people that use Tinder, should everyone else stop being able to use it because others have did bad things by using it?
Before the internet, people were asked out not at work. It's not the end of the world to not ask someone out at work. It's not just one rare occurrence of some random crazy person. There are a lot. You're not realising how frequent employees are chatted up at work. Women can't know who's good or bad. Who can take rejection well. When women tell you not to ask them out at work as the women have done in this thread and the majority of them would prefer not to, maybe it's a good idea to listen to them.
No offense dude but people have explained already how it DOES effect people and it does harm them. You can't just say it's perfectly harmless.
Yeah, I was thinking that before the internet we used to have these things called "social gatherings", "parties" and whatnot. Those were occasions we'd be out somewhere with other people to interact with. Sounds wild.