The crossroads motif is a common one in literature and life in general, pretty smart of marvel turning it into "nexus events" lol.
Biggest nexus event in my life: My Mom's passing. :/
Biggest nexus event in my life: My Mom's passing. :/
Have you ever felt like you had a "nexus" event in your lifetime?
- Thread starter The Artisan
- Start date
I backed off from moving away to go to my first choice university at the last possible minute to attend the one right by my house that I was also accepted to. I'm certain things would have gone very differently otherwise. In retrospect it was probably a huge mistake, but you'll never really know.
I made a desperate, rushed phone call near the very end of my school's deadline to make arrangements for an internship.
It worked and my internship was great, the people were nice and I clicked with the CEO
After the internship was done, I kept writing articles for them for nearly two years. Freelance money, basically.
Now I'm pretty much graduated and because the CEO and I still click and he liked my freelance work, I asked if he has a proper, more challenging job for me.
I'm now going to start my first 'serious' job as a content manager. After grinding away at a callcenter job for nearly 10 years.
All of this becaude I made an "oh what the hell" phone call for an internship that I kept postponing.
I'm really glad I made that call :)
It worked and my internship was great, the people were nice and I clicked with the CEO
After the internship was done, I kept writing articles for them for nearly two years. Freelance money, basically.
Now I'm pretty much graduated and because the CEO and I still click and he liked my freelance work, I asked if he has a proper, more challenging job for me.
I'm now going to start my first 'serious' job as a content manager. After grinding away at a callcenter job for nearly 10 years.
All of this becaude I made an "oh what the hell" phone call for an internship that I kept postponing.
I'm really glad I made that call :)
I briefly broke up with and got back together with my ex before we broke up for real years later. I had given up so much for this woman and ultimately had nothing to show for it, and staying in this relationship was one of my biggest regrets in no small part due to the time I feel like wasted on her. I constantly look back on what my life would have been like had I just given up on the relationship the first time and didn't have to basically start over and learn to live for myself after so many years.
The day that I accepted Jeaus Christ as my Lord and savior:. It completely changed my life and I have no doubt I'd be dead by now.
I feel life is a series of moments with different outcomes.
I often think about my life and the decisions and choices I've made that led me to where I am now.
Unlike Mass Effect, I feel like every decision has a knock on impact. There's moments that we regret and moments we would do all over again, but they all made us who we are. We are made of "nexus events".
I often think about my life and the decisions and choices I've made that led me to where I am now.
Unlike Mass Effect, I feel like every decision has a knock on impact. There's moments that we regret and moments we would do all over again, but they all made us who we are. We are made of "nexus events".
OP
OP
It's crazy how we can remember specific memories so well, right? It's spooky sometimes.
I have read through this thread and feel for you all. Some of your nexus events are quite beautiful.
Yes, several.
I moved to a different country 20 years ago on a chance.
I have my current career of 17 years due to a series of accidental encounters that didn't seem impactful at the time.
I lost someone very close to me due to a decision that seemed inconsequential at the time.
I think everyone has multiple points in their lives where they take a completely different turn that will shape their life path in material way and yet doesn't look very important in the moment. It's normal.
I moved to a different country 20 years ago on a chance.
I have my current career of 17 years due to a series of accidental encounters that didn't seem impactful at the time.
I lost someone very close to me due to a decision that seemed inconsequential at the time.
I think everyone has multiple points in their lives where they take a completely different turn that will shape their life path in material way and yet doesn't look very important in the moment. It's normal.
Had several big ones early on and a pretty massive one last year.
A big one was whether or not I should stay in my hometown and finish high school there, as opposed to going to Manila to get to a crazy good private high school. At that time, someone prominent in the local film industry in Manila wanted to take me as their protege, so the move was tempting. We decided against it finally.
That would lead me to getting two cultural exchange scholarships, including a one-year program to either Spain or France. It made for a nice gap year because we finish high school early in my home town/region. Choosing France was the other nexus event, since my family was my part-Spanish and they were pissed I chose a country we had no connection to. They thought I wouldn't do well in France and waged I'd actually quit my program early. Well, I didn't lol.
Learning French would make me push to pass the French fluency exams later on for the chance to move to either France or Canada. I would meet someone during my classes who would push me to go to Montreal. That will be very important later on.
Post-uni and adult life related, quitting my lofty job in 2018 was also a big nexus event. I wasn't happy anymore and I was already moonlighting other jobs, so I quit that job and went full freelance. One of the projects I directed would land me an acceptance to a wonderful film program. If I had stayed in my job, I would never get that.
And finally, recently, whether I should move to Montreal (for a job offer in a different industry) or Los Angeles (for the film program). I would chose the latter.
My brother though, because he saw me prepping for an offer for Montreal, also thought about moving to Montreal. He's now in Montreal, while my younger sister, is learning French because her dream schools for her science masters program are in Francophone countries. I help my siblings out with their French from time to time.
A big one was whether or not I should stay in my hometown and finish high school there, as opposed to going to Manila to get to a crazy good private high school. At that time, someone prominent in the local film industry in Manila wanted to take me as their protege, so the move was tempting. We decided against it finally.
That would lead me to getting two cultural exchange scholarships, including a one-year program to either Spain or France. It made for a nice gap year because we finish high school early in my home town/region. Choosing France was the other nexus event, since my family was my part-Spanish and they were pissed I chose a country we had no connection to. They thought I wouldn't do well in France and waged I'd actually quit my program early. Well, I didn't lol.
Learning French would make me push to pass the French fluency exams later on for the chance to move to either France or Canada. I would meet someone during my classes who would push me to go to Montreal. That will be very important later on.
Post-uni and adult life related, quitting my lofty job in 2018 was also a big nexus event. I wasn't happy anymore and I was already moonlighting other jobs, so I quit that job and went full freelance. One of the projects I directed would land me an acceptance to a wonderful film program. If I had stayed in my job, I would never get that.
And finally, recently, whether I should move to Montreal (for a job offer in a different industry) or Los Angeles (for the film program). I would chose the latter.
My brother though, because he saw me prepping for an offer for Montreal, also thought about moving to Montreal. He's now in Montreal, while my younger sister, is learning French because her dream schools for her science masters program are in Francophone countries. I help my siblings out with their French from time to time.
I made a mistake on an entry exam for a specialized school because I didn't read the instructions, barely missed the admissions cutoff, and ended up in a different one - this one dumb mistake by a 10 year old absolutely transformed my life for the better by putting me on a different path.
The good choices in my life feel more like stuff I had to think over for a while, or stuff that I had to continue to try and pursue consistently, rather than one single decision in time.
I've had multiple moments though that I chose not to engage with people, which, if I had done, I think would have led to a less lonely life.
I've had multiple moments though that I chose not to engage with people, which, if I had done, I think would have led to a less lonely life.
Once I went home early due to major storms hitting the area and reports that the roads were getting bad. I was almost to the house when I saw a very fast torrent of water moving across the dirt road. It wasn't deep and I was in a very capable AWD Subaru but the facts that it was unusual for water to be there during a storm and it was moving extremely fast made me stop. I was weighing my options of crossing the ~20 ft of shallow water or going back and around which would have been 15 extra minutes. I decided I could make it, but as soon as I put the car into gear to move forward that entire section of road washed away and down the hill. It wasn't the sort of accident I'd expect to kill me, but broken bones and other serious injury were certainly likely. Plus, I'd have had to hike about a mile with injuries to even get help because there was no cell service there. I had a lot of new stuff going on in my life at that time and any delay or change would have me on a very different path now.
I've had three in my life and chosen the wrong path each time and it's taken longer and longer to get out of/fix/come to terms with each successive decision.
I delayed my birthday night out in 2006 for a week. On the newly arranged night out one of my best friends met his future wife and they have since had a child together. Another friend met his girlfriend at their wedding.
If I hadn't made that decision all their lives would be completely different and the children would never have been born.
I know stuff like this is how a lot stuff happens but still crazy to think about.
If I hadn't made that decision all their lives would be completely different and the children would never have been born.
I know stuff like this is how a lot stuff happens but still crazy to think about.
My first real breakup alongside working in a hospital around Covid. It's made me look at myself and what I've done for the past 30 years and realize this isn't what I want out of my life. So it's time to change that.
I thought about writing up this big long explanation, but here's the short version. (EDIT: And it's still too long, but whatever.)
During this one week in July 2006, I had a chance to get together with three women:
Betty, a girl I loved for years but who didn't love me back. She had moved to another city with her boyfriend, but when that relationship exploded, she called me one night to see if I wanted to come visit her and we would see if it was worth giving us a shot.
Veronica, a girl I'd dated for a long time, but she turned out to be manipulative to the point of being emotionally abusive, so I broke up with her. 18 months later, she and I were trying out just being friends, but the same night I talked to Betty, she told me she really wanted to get back together if I was willing. And as dumb as it was, I was tempted.
And Wendy, a girl I'd known casually for about a year, and on a random whim I'd asked out on a first date that week, in July of 2006. Our first date was two days after I talked to Betty and Veronica.
(Names have been changed, obviously.)
I had said yes to going to visit Betty. I'd told Veronica there was no way we were getting back together, but my resolve was weak and she knew it.
And then I went out on that first date with Wendy, and it just immediately felt right. We talked for hours. It all felt exactly right.
I called Betty and told her I wouldn't be coming after all. I gushed to Veronica about this great girl I'd met (since we were trying to be friends and all) until she told me she didn't want to be friends anymore. And I went out on more dates with Wendy.
Wendy and I have been married for 14 years now and we have two kids. I could not be happier. Betty and Veronica have both gotten married and had kids, and from what little I can tell from social media, they both seem happy.
Sometimes, even now, I wonder what would have happened if I chose one of the other girls. I'm positive I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. But I still wonder.
And that's my nexus event.
During this one week in July 2006, I had a chance to get together with three women:
Betty, a girl I loved for years but who didn't love me back. She had moved to another city with her boyfriend, but when that relationship exploded, she called me one night to see if I wanted to come visit her and we would see if it was worth giving us a shot.
Veronica, a girl I'd dated for a long time, but she turned out to be manipulative to the point of being emotionally abusive, so I broke up with her. 18 months later, she and I were trying out just being friends, but the same night I talked to Betty, she told me she really wanted to get back together if I was willing. And as dumb as it was, I was tempted.
And Wendy, a girl I'd known casually for about a year, and on a random whim I'd asked out on a first date that week, in July of 2006. Our first date was two days after I talked to Betty and Veronica.
(Names have been changed, obviously.)
I had said yes to going to visit Betty. I'd told Veronica there was no way we were getting back together, but my resolve was weak and she knew it.
And then I went out on that first date with Wendy, and it just immediately felt right. We talked for hours. It all felt exactly right.
I called Betty and told her I wouldn't be coming after all. I gushed to Veronica about this great girl I'd met (since we were trying to be friends and all) until she told me she didn't want to be friends anymore. And I went out on more dates with Wendy.
Wendy and I have been married for 14 years now and we have two kids. I could not be happier. Betty and Veronica have both gotten married and had kids, and from what little I can tell from social media, they both seem happy.
Sometimes, even now, I wonder what would have happened if I chose one of the other girls. I'm positive I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. But I still wonder.
And that's my nexus event.
Yes I can trace everything going on in my life to to one decision: what high school I choose to go to back in 1998
I'm still in daily contact with my middle and high school friends, and I was the only one that left for college right out of high school.
My continued contact makes me realize I could be an extremely different person if I hadn't gone off to college. My friends all grew through their own experiences, too, but there's part of my hometown mentality that I no longer possess that I still see in them.
I almost didn't go to college. I wanted to go into the military initially. I applied to college very late and was pretty sure I would be rejected.
My continued contact makes me realize I could be an extremely different person if I hadn't gone off to college. My friends all grew through their own experiences, too, but there's part of my hometown mentality that I no longer possess that I still see in them.
I almost didn't go to college. I wanted to go into the military initially. I applied to college very late and was pretty sure I would be rejected.
Applying for the web editor job in the school paper in college. The opening was sent out on our computer science organization mailing list, and I decided "Why not?" so I went for it, was apparently the only applicant, interview went well, and I got it.
I made plenty of friends there I will never forget, and they would end up being my "main" group of friends in college. A few months into that job, my (now ex) girlfriend broke up with me, and that was an extremely rough year as a result, and I don't know how I would have handled it if I didn't have them.
I went in a date with a coworker that was an editor in the paper, coworkers dating isn't all the weird in a college newspaper. We started a relationship, about 6 years later we got married with the editor-in-chief as the officiant (since he kind of hooked us up), and 2 years after that we had a kid, which pretty much brings us to now.
I can't imagine how my life would have turned out if I didn't go for that newspaper job in college.
I'd also say another was taking a very questionable job well into my post college career, I was a contractor on a project. The interview was a phone interview that was literally "How do you rate yourself in Java on a scale from 1-10?" I don't remember what I answered, but then he said "Great, we'll send you the offer letter and paperwork today." and I was like "I got a job???" to my girlfriend (now wife). It turned out it was in fact real, which I was nervous about given how quickly I got hired.
I would end up switching to another company on the same project since the opportunity came up and would be an improvement. I stayed there a few years, and got moved to a different project where I finally got a bit of a raise. Then within two months, an opportunity to go back to the old project as a full time employee came up. The salary would be an absurd raise to the point where I would be stupid not to apply for it. I got an interview and the managers interviewing me already knew me, and the interview almost felt like a formality. I got the news I would be getting an offer, and again, it would be stupid NOT to take it given how ridiculous the raise and improvement of benefits would be. Even though I was only on that second project about 3 months, it was absolutely worth jumping ship. I'm still at the full time employee job and will likely work here until I eventually retire. None of this would have happened if I didn't take that job from a phone interview that was basically one question, and had me questioning if it was even a real job.
I made plenty of friends there I will never forget, and they would end up being my "main" group of friends in college. A few months into that job, my (now ex) girlfriend broke up with me, and that was an extremely rough year as a result, and I don't know how I would have handled it if I didn't have them.
I went in a date with a coworker that was an editor in the paper, coworkers dating isn't all the weird in a college newspaper. We started a relationship, about 6 years later we got married with the editor-in-chief as the officiant (since he kind of hooked us up), and 2 years after that we had a kid, which pretty much brings us to now.
I can't imagine how my life would have turned out if I didn't go for that newspaper job in college.
I'd also say another was taking a very questionable job well into my post college career, I was a contractor on a project. The interview was a phone interview that was literally "How do you rate yourself in Java on a scale from 1-10?" I don't remember what I answered, but then he said "Great, we'll send you the offer letter and paperwork today." and I was like "I got a job???" to my girlfriend (now wife). It turned out it was in fact real, which I was nervous about given how quickly I got hired.
I would end up switching to another company on the same project since the opportunity came up and would be an improvement. I stayed there a few years, and got moved to a different project where I finally got a bit of a raise. Then within two months, an opportunity to go back to the old project as a full time employee came up. The salary would be an absurd raise to the point where I would be stupid not to apply for it. I got an interview and the managers interviewing me already knew me, and the interview almost felt like a formality. I got the news I would be getting an offer, and again, it would be stupid NOT to take it given how ridiculous the raise and improvement of benefits would be. Even though I was only on that second project about 3 months, it was absolutely worth jumping ship. I'm still at the full time employee job and will likely work here until I eventually retire. None of this would have happened if I didn't take that job from a phone interview that was basically one question, and had me questioning if it was even a real job.