Wish I had gotten into a better/improving hobby than playing videogames when I was a kid.
Like, actually learning English. I'm ashamed of how bad I am at it and thinking I had it right a couple of years back.
Yeah that's a good point to bring up, that excessive gaming can be a symptom. But it can become bit of a negative cycle too, always escaping to games and then being content with your situation where you aren't doing that good.As a kid I played unhealthy amounts of time but games were not the cause, they were a symptom. An escape from other issues.
As an adult I live a much happier life and honestly barely even play games all that much outside of longer holidays. Wish I played them more, actually.
If videogames are a problem for you, your kids or anyone else you love, I would suggest taking a long, honest, hard look at the rest of your or that person's life. Sometimes games are the cause, especially if you are susceptible to addiction, but you'd be surprised how often it's just a symptom on the visible surface of much deeper problems.
This is an excellent post, thanks for sharing. Especially this part is so very true and important to note.I grew up in an abusive household. I didn't have a lot of toys growing up, but my parents were all in on games. I took to them quick and I think they served as a virtual babysitter for me and my siblings. As long as we were in front of a screen, we could be locked up and ignored. So early on I learned to displace my own concerns with the concerns of a game. "Dad's yelling again, let's play ninja turtles until he's done." "Mom and dad are fighting, let's see if we can beat the second quest on Zelda." It was easy to bury the worry part of your mind and replace imminent threats with a quick pop of endorphin by beating a robot master or whatever. And as I got older, I just kept doing that.
When you engage with escapism, you're often not in the circumstance or state of mind to grapple with that engagement. You don't recognize it as escape. It only becomes visible in hindsight, in those brief moments when the clouds have parted.
fwiw I think the best anyone in a situation similar to my own can do is extend some grace to themselves. Life often isn't fair, you aren't always dealt a good hand. Sometimes you're given the cards and not even taught to play. So you've got to have patience with yourself as you figure things out, and recognize that many people are likewise figuring things out, beneath the weight of unseen stressors. We haven't built a society that ensures the health and well-being of individuals. We isolate, we abuse ourselves. It's very hard to break the patterns that we've relied on to survive.
If you decide to make a change, I wish you the best of luck. It's hard! And you can do it.
When you engage with escapism, you're often not in the circumstance or state of mind to grapple with that engagement. You don't recognize it as escape. It only becomes visible in hindsight, in those brief moments when the clouds have parted.