Look at these replies. So much good advice.
You have friends here OP.
E:
You have friends here OP.
E:
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Era, I probably am going to have to kill myself soon, and I'm terrified, but I have to. Love
- Thread starter LexingtonKruger
- Start date
Nah, that ain't the path, OP. Everyone here is in your corner and all the requisite phone numbers have been provided so I won't repeat those. I'll leave you with a poem that I memorized more than a decade ago and think about to this day regularly when I'm struggling. I hope it helps you or someone else:
Keep Going.
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must—but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up, though the pace seems slow—
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out—
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit—
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.
- Edgar A. Guest
Don't quit.
Keep Going.
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must—but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up, though the pace seems slow—
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out—
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit—
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.
- Edgar A. Guest
Don't quit.
Hey LexingtonKruger, thank you for reaching out to us. It takes an incredible strength to be able to share these sentiments with us, and I'm glad that you did. It's very understandable to feel lost and hopeless when you're about to lose a job, but you've already shown so much strength and perseverance, I know that you can make it through this too.
I think it's incredible that you've managed to write an entire book and tackle college while working part-time. Those are impressive feats that you should be proud of. I know that it can feel a little disappointing to have to leave school for a bit for any reason, but you can manage to go back to college at some point in the future, and we can help you figure what steps might be helpful for you to take. There might be options for financial assistance for both housing, unemployment, as well as helping you go back to college. There are times specifically where people aren't aware of what options are actually available to them for financing college until they actually apply for it. I would really recommend emailing someone at your community college from the financial aid department and seeing how they can help you.
Would you be willing to call either your therapist, psychiatrist, or your counselor? We care about you and we are always here for you to help you figure things out, but they can help you with these more immediate feelings and figure out what your first step should be. If not, I would really recommend calling one of these lines.
1-800-273-8255 (Suicide Prevention Lifeline)
(212) 673-3000 (Samaritans of New York)
Text HOME to 741741 (https://www.crisistextline.org/ Crisis Text Line) - This one is really useful if you find it hard to talk about these feelings out loud and is still fully staffed with people who are here to help you
I think it's incredible that you've managed to write an entire book and tackle college while working part-time. Those are impressive feats that you should be proud of. I know that it can feel a little disappointing to have to leave school for a bit for any reason, but you can manage to go back to college at some point in the future, and we can help you figure what steps might be helpful for you to take. There might be options for financial assistance for both housing, unemployment, as well as helping you go back to college. There are times specifically where people aren't aware of what options are actually available to them for financing college until they actually apply for it. I would really recommend emailing someone at your community college from the financial aid department and seeing how they can help you.
Would you be willing to call either your therapist, psychiatrist, or your counselor? We care about you and we are always here for you to help you figure things out, but they can help you with these more immediate feelings and figure out what your first step should be. If not, I would really recommend calling one of these lines.
1-800-273-8255 (Suicide Prevention Lifeline)
(212) 673-3000 (Samaritans of New York)
Text HOME to 741741 (https://www.crisistextline.org/ Crisis Text Line) - This one is really useful if you find it hard to talk about these feelings out loud and is still fully staffed with people who are here to help you
You made it this far. That's quite an accomplishment. You did that. You should be proud of that. Life is hard. It's difficult. I know, and I'm sorry it looks so bleak right now.
But...There have to be other options. I know you've looked, but I bet that together, we could find something.
There's no shame in getting knocked down. There is no shame in asking for help. So, please, hang on for a bit longer.
But...There have to be other options. I know you've looked, but I bet that together, we could find something.
There's no shame in getting knocked down. There is no shame in asking for help. So, please, hang on for a bit longer.
You'll only pass that suffering on. It doesn't end just because you do. That's why you have to claim it as your own and turn it into something positive, as hard as that may be, as impossible as it may seem. Just take it one step at a time, as small as those steps might be. Be excellent to yourself.
Don't let anxiety be the thing that does you in OP. You have a life to live, and you can give help to people that need it. Even if you think you don't have any worth, there are people who would see you as valuable as gold.
Before giving up, and before giving up on getting help, maybe try helping someone that you think needs it.
Before giving up, and before giving up on getting help, maybe try helping someone that you think needs it.
Keep posting in here and talking. I'm sure a lot of us have been there. Please keep posting and listening to what we're saying. There is nowhere to go but up from how you're feeling.
You have people in your life that will miss you, and their hearts will be broken over them questioning what the could have done better to help you. Don't do it.
OP, please heed the other posters' advice.
Been where you are. Still have those thoughts.
I hope the words of encouragement in this thread and advice offered can play a part, even if a small one, in you staying with us.
Been where you are. Still have those thoughts.
I hope the words of encouragement in this thread and advice offered can play a part, even if a small one, in you staying with us.
OP, please stay. While you are alive, the possibility of things getting better will always exist, and while that possibility exists, it is worth sitting through the pain. You can and will learn to survive and be happy. Please stay, and fight. Fight like hell. You deserve to exist. You've made it this far and you can make it to the end and find your way.
I found a quote by Meggie Royer a little while back that I'm going to post here for you. I really hope this helps and that you stick around
We're here for you OP. Please hang in there..
I found a quote by Meggie Royer a little while back that I'm going to post here for you. I really hope this helps and that you stick around
We're here for you OP. Please hang in there..
I don't know you, but I know that the world won't be the same without you.
Please call 1-800-273-8255 or talk to somebody.
Please call 1-800-273-8255 or talk to somebody.
The fact you posted this here clearly shows you do not want to do this. Please call someone or talk to us because we are here for you.
OP please don't do it.
OP please don't do it.
As someone who has came very close to killing themself in the past, please consider your other options. Life can be shit sometimes but theres always a better option than suicide. Please call the suicide hotline or your therapist. Check yourself into a hospital if you need to. They will help you!
Dude, I contemplate it almost every day. But i am holding on to dear life, holding on to every straw I can grasp. I came close many times but I am still here. I would love it if you would do the same.
OP, you have a little brother that you are responsible for.
If you commit suicide, you won't suffer anymore, but you're condemning your little brother to literally, a life of suffering, regret, and pain. Your brother will always wonder what he did wrong, if there was something he could have done, if maybe he was a better brother or person or maybe less of a burden, then maybe you'd still be alive and he'd have his big brother there with him. If you commit suicide, you will fuck up his life forever. He will never be the same. You will cause irreparable harm to him, and you'll never be able to fix it. Right now, no matter what, as long as you are here there is a chance, however small, that things will turn around, but once you are gone you will have caused permanent destruction to his life.
Think of your little brother. It's not fair, you didn't ask for it, but you're responsible for him.
If you commit suicide, you won't suffer anymore, but you're condemning your little brother to literally, a life of suffering, regret, and pain. Your brother will always wonder what he did wrong, if there was something he could have done, if maybe he was a better brother or person or maybe less of a burden, then maybe you'd still be alive and he'd have his big brother there with him. If you commit suicide, you will fuck up his life forever. He will never be the same. You will cause irreparable harm to him, and you'll never be able to fix it. Right now, no matter what, as long as you are here there is a chance, however small, that things will turn around, but once you are gone you will have caused permanent destruction to his life.
Think of your little brother. It's not fair, you didn't ask for it, but you're responsible for him.
Please don't....if you do, nothing will be left. Suffering is no fun, but you'll miss out on the good that can (and will!) occur in your future. Your little brother loves you and doesn't want to lose you.
Don't let the lack of secondary education worry you. It isn't a necesssity in today's world. But it's admirable that you attempted it (while working) and managed to do so well. That in itself shows your strength and determination.
You are important and loved! We are here for you.
Don't let the lack of secondary education worry you. It isn't a necesssity in today's world. But it's admirable that you attempted it (while working) and managed to do so well. That in itself shows your strength and determination.
You are important and loved! We are here for you.
Don't do it, please.
Look at the outpouring of support everyone has given you in an hour, man!
No-one is ever truly alone in this world, even if it seems like it at times. Reaching out to us and us reaching back shows we got your back every step of the way in life!
Hopefully someone nearby on here can assist you with any troubles which you might have.
Look at the outpouring of support everyone has given you in an hour, man!
No-one is ever truly alone in this world, even if it seems like it at times. Reaching out to us and us reaching back shows we got your back every step of the way in life!
Hopefully someone nearby on here can assist you with any troubles which you might have.
OP, it's worth continuing on. Giving up is always the wrong choice at such a young age.
I had some really crappy moments in my late 20s and early 30s. If I had known then how great things would be at 36 I would have slapped myself for all my worries.
Call the numbers people are listing. If you can't do it for yourself right now, do it for your brother. You potentially have 50 more years to experience something amazing. When you're 70, make the judgment then if need be. We literally get ONE chance at this....don't throw it away.
Instead of suicide do something else crazy....like just up and move your whole life on a chance if that's what you need to do. Go somewhere and disappear into trying a new life. Just reach out to that brother when you can and let him know what's up.
I had some really crappy moments in my late 20s and early 30s. If I had known then how great things would be at 36 I would have slapped myself for all my worries.
Call the numbers people are listing. If you can't do it for yourself right now, do it for your brother. You potentially have 50 more years to experience something amazing. When you're 70, make the judgment then if need be. We literally get ONE chance at this....don't throw it away.
Instead of suicide do something else crazy....like just up and move your whole life on a chance if that's what you need to do. Go somewhere and disappear into trying a new life. Just reach out to that brother when you can and let him know what's up.
We would all be sad if you are gone, so please reconsider it, OP.
As others have said, the grief and pain you feel now won't be gone if you are dead. It will just be passed on to your little brother and everyone that is close to you. Do you really want this?
As others have said, the grief and pain you feel now won't be gone if you are dead. It will just be passed on to your little brother and everyone that is close to you. Do you really want this?
Can I tell you that you are loved? We love you. There are people that love you and care for you. Don't do it.
OP
OP
Everyone has been wonderful. Thank you. I have a mile long list of sob stories myself.
I would have to take out massive loans to cover my tuition. I would be looking out taking fifty thousand.
12,000 a year for housing, plus for food. So maybe I would have to take a fifty thousand loan.
Once I complete undergraduate I could live on campus.
I have been given no indication I will be fired. I simply can't mentally and physically continue to do the job. I'm on the verge of breaking down and it will happen as it always does.
I have taken to cutting myself again each day to get through the pain of the job.
I'm so scared.
I won't c all the hotline as I used to call them everyday.
It doesn't help.
I would have to take out massive loans to cover my tuition. I would be looking out taking fifty thousand.
12,000 a year for housing, plus for food. So maybe I would have to take a fifty thousand loan.
Once I complete undergraduate I could live on campus.
I have been given no indication I will be fired. I simply can't mentally and physically continue to do the job. I'm on the verge of breaking down and it will happen as it always does.
I have taken to cutting myself again each day to get through the pain of the job.
I'm so scared.
I won't c all the hotline as I used to call them everyday.
It doesn't help.
Don't do it, please. Your brother will miss you a lot. If you want to talk, we are here for you.
Hi,
You don't know me. But, I've been there. Here's my advice. Take the chance on the loans. Here's why. You can put off that decision, the other one, for a while. Kick the can. Get the loans, go back to school, and try it. Don't worry about the debt, you can't predict what might happen in the future. This might sound weird, but you might find out by taking that chance, the loans and school, things might change. And that's a chance worth taking.
You don't know me. But, I've been there. Here's my advice. Take the chance on the loans. Here's why. You can put off that decision, the other one, for a while. Kick the can. Get the loans, go back to school, and try it. Don't worry about the debt, you can't predict what might happen in the future. This might sound weird, but you might find out by taking that chance, the loans and school, things might change. And that's a chance worth taking.
OP think of your favorite thing you've ever eaten.
Think of your favorite music you've ever heard.
Think of your favorite scene in a movie ever.
Think of the funniest joke you've ever heard in your life.
If you do this, those things are gone. Think of everything you still have a chance to taste! And think of the music you'll never hear. The movie you'll never see. The laughs you'll never have.
Please don't do this. You have soooo much left to experience, including so so much good stuff.
I understand the struggle but I know there's a better choice for you, I know it.
Think of your favorite music you've ever heard.
Think of your favorite scene in a movie ever.
Think of the funniest joke you've ever heard in your life.
If you do this, those things are gone. Think of everything you still have a chance to taste! And think of the music you'll never hear. The movie you'll never see. The laughs you'll never have.
Please don't do this. You have soooo much left to experience, including so so much good stuff.
I understand the struggle but I know there's a better choice for you, I know it.
Where do you live? What kind of work would you like to do? Era is full of good people working different careers, there is a huge network here that can help you find something.
You're a good person.
OP, people want to help you, you are worth it.