Did you have a "free-range" childhood? Where you a latchkey kid?

[mute]

Generally speaking I had a lot of freedom and could go anywhere my bike would take me but where we were located I was too far from anything interesting and didn't know anybody in the neighborhood. When I started Junior High my school was located in the middle of town and was walking distance from my house, so I had more freedom then in the afternoons but outside of school sports or the random shop in town I didn't wander much.

My kids now are a little too young to be thinking about this, but our neighborhood now I think has more kids than adults and they are already within walking distance to their school so I assume at some point this will be a topic of discussion for us.

 

[entremet]

I think I started a thread similar to this ages ago after I'd read an about a father in the US who was told he'd literally have his kids taken away from him by the authorities after he (shock) put his kids on a public bus with the eldest daughter in charge.
The issue for so many parents is other people deciding that kids shouldn't be out and about and will report any children seen alone.
I've heard it from many parents over here (UK) too that their kid can't even get to the bottom of the street without some busybody phoning the police.

As somebody who grew up in the 80's and 90's I find it so sad that many children just don't get to experience what I did growing up, the days of me running around in the woods and other local areas, free as a bird are pretty much the happiest of my life. My childhood was a mixed bag but those memories I wouldn't trade for anything.

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Was it this guy? Canadien, not American.

https://www.cbc.ca/radio/outintheopen/enablers-1.4579817/what-happened-when-one-father-taught-his-kids-to-take-public-transit-to-school-without-him-1.4580416

Adrian Crook wanted to teach his children independence, but his lesson plan led to an investigation by British Columbia's Ministry of Children and Family Development into the Vancouver father.

Crook taught his four oldest children — ages six, eight, nine and 10 at the time — to take public transit to and from school by themselves. The trip involved two Vancouver city buses and took about 45 minutes.

"Of course, they all had cell phones, so I'm tracking their position...and communicating with them every step of the way. These are daylight commuter hours in Vancouver. I'm not sure you can get any safer a mode of transportation."

Crook says his approach caused him concern for his children's safety, but he continued doing it in pursuit of his greater aim.

"I think that's sort of a misconception a lot of people have when they hear me talk about this...they think I'm totally care free and whatever and have no worries about my kids but I have all the same worries anyone else has. It's very stressful, but it doesn't mean it's not the right thing to do."

Adrian Crook was investigated by the British Columbia Ministry of Children and Family Development for letting four of his kids ride the bus unaccompanied to and from their school. (Courtesy of Adrian Crook)
The children rode as they were taught for nearly a year without incident. Then, the Ministry of Children and Family Development received a complaint about Crook, alerting it that his kids were riding alone.

After an investigation, Crook was cleared of any wrong doing but the ministry ruled that his kids could not be left alone in the home, outside, or on transit until they are 10 and older

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[Muppet of a Man]

80s/90s kid here and was very free range. My mom was the worrying type, though. So, basically, I just needed to tell her where we were headed to or else she'd get upset.

I'd bike all around the surrounding towns with my friends by the time I was 8 or 9. I was getting dropped off alone at theme parks for the day with my friends by the time I was 11 (before that, my friend and I were doing that at 8 or 9 with his sister and sister's friend who were 11 or 12 at the time).

 

[Kevers]

I'm 36 so I grew up right in the prime of the 90s.

We lived with my grandparents when I was 5-10 because my mom was taking care of them after they got sick. For those 5-6 years I was free to leave and go out and do whatever the hell I wanted, I just had to be home by dark. If I wasn't home in time I was still usually close enough to hear my mom calling for me. Around 9-10 I had a bike and I was free to ride it about a mile or two away to another friends house through some busy roadways. Only ever had a few issues while out and about playing, one time we were building a treehouse and I stepped on a board with a nail in it, I couldn't walk the mile or so home and we didn't have phones so I had to sort of half pedal my bike home while bleeding all over. I miss those days honestly.

After my grandparents died and it was just me and my mom on our own I was much more of a latchkey kid, I came home from school, made my own lunch, did my homework and waited for my mom to get home to have dinner. A lot of days I would take my friends buses home and just go hang with them until she got out of work. I was still free to do whatever I wanted but I when my old friends started making new friends and leaving me behind I mostly chose to sit at home and play video games every day after school.

We also didn't have a lot of money so my mom couldn't send me to summer camp or anything so I was totally freerange in the summers. All my friends parents had to work so we just fucked around all day long doing whatever.

 

[mrmoose]

I was born in the mid 70's and was raised in the 80's as a total latchkey kid in the suburbs until I was around 11, then we moved to a rural area outside of town where my closest neighbor was about 1/4 mile away where I continued a virtually entirely unsupervised life in the country. When I was in the suburbs, I spent my summers at the houses of friends within about a 4-block radius. Lots of bike riding, going down to the corner market to buy pop/candy, days at the lake, and camping. I spent a lot of time in front of the TV too, watching MTV & HBO. In the country, I had a super nice treehouse. It had a deck, screened windows, and power would be run out there via a stupidly long extension cord, which allowed me to have a small color TV, a huge fan, my NES, and a stereo system. I also had my comic long boxes that I hauled up there every summer and a big cooler where I kept food. I lived out there every summer for months at a time up until I was 16 years old! I had a moped gifted to me when I was 13 and I spent the summers solo exploring all the dirtroads and trails within a 10 mile radius of my home.

My kids today don't really have a reason to leave the house. They're connected with their friends 24/7 via technology. I also think it is why many kids today have no desire to learn how to drive. Where are they going to drive, school? That's not fun. Back when I was a teen, driving was the escape from home that we all desired so much. My kids even watch movies virtually with friends. They both have amazing bedrooms and tons of hobbies too. They ride bikes occasionally and have been swimming at the lake entirely on their own for years (they just rarely go). If I was a kid, I would be just like them. They keep super busy with school activities and such though, so whenever they have downtime, they can do whatever they want. As long as they maintain good grades, participate in school activities, and do their chores, my kids have always had free reign to do whatever they want. They want to chill online with their friends, chat, play games, and watch movies. It is all the same things I used to do with my friends, only now you can do all that from the comfort of your own home.

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I do think that the availability of entertainment and communication options at home plays a huge part, and for parents, even those who don't want their kids to be couch potatoes, having the kids be home and on electronics unsupervised probably seems like a safer alternative to having them go outside to find their own entertainment. When I was growing up, I didn't have my own computer, there was no internet, and cartoons were only on at certain times of the day (which is why I'd watch old black and white shows because those were on constant reruns during the day). Today my kids can pretty much watch any cartoon they want at any time, they can play videogames at any time, they can chat with friends at any time, etc. etc.

 

[Bengraven]

Grew up in a small rural city of 10k in the middle of nowhere Minnesota in the 80s and 90s.

I was mostly free range. I couldn't cross certain streets: one side of our block had a very busy road, but I was allowed to cross the two slow less traffic roads as much as I wanted. Could walk or ride bike around my block. Didn't have a lot of kids to play with but we played with the assholes down the block when desperate. Just spent a lot of time wandering.

Parents left at 530am for work so we had to get up and feed ourselves. Came home to an empty house (key was hidden behind an umbrella), for about two hours we watched Disney afternoon/Saved by the Bell and did dishes from the night before or we'd get our asses kicked. Was also the only time I could sneak the Nintendo out of the cabinet and hook it up because I was required to have parent permission to play it.

 

[NeverWas]

Free range here. I pretty much knew how to cook and clean and take care of myself by the time I was five. I was left alone for pretty long stretches, with the only hard rule being to be home by a certain time. Stranger Things is super relatable to me.

 

[Joe]

Millennial, growing up in the 90s/00s in suburban Virginia, and yeah, I was pretty much allowed to run around outside and go wherever I wanted. Definitely free range over the whole neighborhood. In Summers, my brothers and friends would be all over the place. Capture the flag and water gun fights across the neighborhood without parental supervision, and occasionally leaving the neighborhood to hike down to Wawa or 7-11 or the pool a few neighborhoods over. The only time we ever really needed to check in with parents was if we moved from one kid's house to another, so they would know where to reach us when it was time for dinner.

 

[Silvergun-Blue]

Was it this guy? Canadien, not American.

https://www.cbc.ca/radio/outintheopen/enablers-1.4579817/what-happened-when-one-father-taught-his-kids-to-take-public-transit-to-school-without-him-1.4580416

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Sounds familiar, I'm maybe getting it mixed up with a different story or the one I read was sensationalized.
But still.

 

[RC0101]

Grew up in the country so was "free range limited" I could do whatever but I was limited by the distance I could go to do anything lol. A lot of time in the mountains and rivers though which was pretty cool.

 

[Rosebud]

I think I started a thread similar to this ages ago after I'd read an about a father in the US who was told he'd literally have his kids taken away from him by the authorities after he (shock) put his kids on a public bus with the eldest daughter in charge.

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I disagree with putting the eldest in "charge", if any shit happens she will feel guilty and be blamed for the rest of her life and that's unfair

 

[mrmoose]

I disagree with putting the eldest in "charge", if any shit happens she will feel guilty and be blamed for the rest of her life and that's unfair

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What's the alternative, just let them be in charge of themselves?

 

[Rosebud]

What's the alternative, just let them be in charge of themselves?

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Parents are responsible for all of their kids, if something happens that's on them for allowing

 

[BringBackSonics]

I was free range, but I was a kid growing up in the 80s. We basically stayed out till it was dark 🤷‍♂️. Usually all the notice my parents got was that I was going to hang out with so and so, and they'll say be back by dark.

 

[ArrogantBastard]

Why is that? Do you think you just prefer more organized activities for him?

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No not at all, I suppose it is just the massive concern about safety. It's completely illogical and I recognize that.

 

[entremet]

No not at all, I suppose it is just the massive concern about safety. It's completely illogical and I recognize that.

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No worries. Not asking for a justification. Just wondering where it came from since you're not alone here. Parenting approaches shifted drastically in one generation.

People are also super social so we do stuff based on what the group is doing. I wonder if there were more free range kids today that more parents would feel at ease to accept it more.

 

[Baphomet]

My parents were kinda strict until I turned 13 , then I could pretty much do whatever I wanted.

 

[Midramble]

Grew up backwoods NC. Very free-range.

 

[Anth0ny]

Couldn't leave my street, even though all my friends were allowed

I think it fucked me up socially

 

[atomsk eater]

From the age of about 6/7 I started being a latchkey kid. Get off the schoolbus, go in the house and lock the doors. Don't answer for anyone that doesn't live here! My mom was a single mom and my sister started working part time jobs at the time, so there was simply no one to watch me in the afternoons. It worked out fine, I got good at keeping myself amused and it was especially nice once we got a computer. I was pretty much completely unmonitored. I guess free range in the sense that I'd go outside and do whatever with the local kids, but we lived in an apartment complex and then the suburbs so we stayed close to home, not a lot to do in a walkable distance.

 

[hikarutilmitt]

It was gradual, as it should be, and there were extents to which I wasn't allowed until I was older. The old "if you can't hear me you're too far away" thing. I was also living on base up until K and 1st grade, and in a smaller South Austin neighborhood for 2nd. After that it was just sort of "be careful" and have a good enough head on my shoulders to not doing something that felt wrong. This was also the 80s and early 90s, so no internet or social media to cloud judgement in any way.

My daughter is only 3, about to be 4, and I'll have to see how things shake out before she's allowed to do things on her own outside. I'm not scared of her being abducted or whatever so much as just being careful about literally everyone and I want to make sure she understands what I'm asking of her regarding strangers. She's also bigger than kids even twice her age (genetics at work!) so by the time she's old enough that I might trust her to play outside hopefully she'll be able to take care of herself like I could. We're also being very, very careful about her exposure to certain media.

 

[Canucked]

I grew up in the 80s/90s and was totally unsupervised.

Once my sister had me go buy her cigarettes from a 7/11 and I think I was like eight. My neighborhood was filled with kids and everyone left their bikes and stuff everywhere. It was a lot of fun. All the kids would build a town of tents in a common area during the summer. Everyone did sleepovers on weekends and once we all got NES and Master System in the area those turned into all nighters.

 

[Munti]

100% free range, but I grew up in the alps. We could go wherever and whenever we want. Going around town, visiting other people, going into the forests, at the rivers, etc. And, while not often' I also went alone with the train when I went to the elementary school.
And it didn't change: the kids there still have full free range

 

[mrmoose]

Parents are responsible for all of their kids, if something happens that's on them for allowing

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Of course the parents are responsible (and the parents wouldn't be guilt free and blame their eldest if something happened). I'm saying if you send your kids on the bus or whatever, usually you say "so and so" is in charge so they have some authority to keep the others from wandering off. I get that there's the guilt aspect but I'd think any older sibling would feel guilty even if that wasn't explicitly said and they let their younger sibling wander off, so I don't necessarily see a problem with putting someone in charge.

 

[abellwillring]

I was born in 1983 so obviously free-range. Born in Orlando, relied on my bike to ride over to my friends' places and school, etc. Think I started riding to school on my own in like 1st or 2nd grade?

 

[Yams]

Once I hit around 8 years old I just took off and would be gone until I needed money for food or dinner. Jumped on my bike with my basketball in hand and went to a friends or the park.

However, I grew up in rural California where everyone knew my parents and we all knew each other

 

[Supa Necta]

Born in 1979. Once I could ride a bike, friends and I did as we pleased around the neighborhood. I'd phone home if I was staying for dinner or sleeping over.

 

[Stranger Things]

Grew up in the suburbs in Texas and was pretty free. I'm part of the younger crowd (in my 20s currently, born mid 90s) but even in the early-late 2000's it wasn't so bad from my experience. No cellphone, no GPS tracking. My parents have always been controlling in various ways, but they didn't mind or care too much about me running around with my friends in the neighborhood, and actually supported it. Got me bikes and skateboards and wanted me out in the sun and not watching TV all day. They thought video games were bad too lol.

My dad always worked 9-5 schedule so he had no clue what I was doing after school. My mom would work and go grocery shopping and stuff around the same hours. So often I'd come home alone and use a house key and just chill. My parents always thought we lived in a safe neighborhood so it wasn't a concern for them.

I'd say nowadays my parents are way more on edge and concerned due to the constant flow of information via social media. My parents watched the news on cable TV a lot back then, but I feel like smartphones have made it so much more accessible. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

 

[ChubbyHuggs]

My brother or I could have been dead inside the forest and our mom wouldn't suspect a thing till neither of us came home after dark. My siblings on the other hand were kept on a tight leash. We walked them to school, picked them up and they were almost always supervised.

 

[Brivs]

This thread is super interesting. Love hearing these stories.

I guess I was a free-range kid (born in the late 70s), but I was such a nerd who just wanted to draw, read, make toys, and eventually, play videogames, that I didn't really take advantage of it. I also didn't have many friends, so in a way, I had lots of freedom... but was mostly home or close to home anyway.

By the time I was in my teens, I was living in a nothing-to-do village, and being too young to drive, there was lots of open space, but not much to do (unless you drank, which is what everybody does).

The door was wide open, but I didn't want to go out much!

 

[Ernest]

The issue for so many parents is other people deciding that kids shouldn't be out and about and will report any children seen alone.
I've heard it from many parents over here (UK) too that their kid can't even get to the bottom of the street without some busybody phoning the police.

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Yup, it's the fucking busybodies with cellphones at the ready.
If they see a pre-teen out on their own, they fucking call the cops.
And it's because so few do it. When I was young, almost every kid was out and about, so no one payed it any mind - even busybodies let their kids wander out on the streets. But the culture has changed so much, that if a kids out wandering around, he's one of the very few, so it looks suspect.

 

[Spaggy]

My friends and I were free range in the 90s-early 2000s, riding our bikes everywhere, but mostly hanging around our neighborhoods. I don't even remember drinking a lot of water during those hot summer breaks, just from the hose, every once in a while.

We'd go riding in the wash, our version of a skate park, since we didn't have any back then, to the desert and construction sites to steal those wooden marker stakes we'd use as swords, or to the corner store to buy slurpees and firecrackers, and to one of the community pools at my friends' neighborhood.

 

[Pau]

90s/00s kid who grew up in a Miami suburb. I wasn't even allowed in the front yard without supervision. Nor was I allowed to drive anywhere on my own as a teenager despite having a license. My mom was definitely a helicopter parent.

It fucking sucked. So jealous of all of you.

 

[John Rabbit]

Tbf the "free range" as depicted in Stranger Things is a bit egregious lol. These kids are gone for literally days at a time and nobody seems to raise much of a fuss.

That said I was 100% a free-range/latchkey kid in the 90's (suburbs of Phoenix, AZ). Both of my parents worked so I was regularly on my own for a few hours after school let out. I basically had to be home before sundown/dinner or have called my parents to let them know I was at someone else's house and would be eating there. Any time I'd make a new friend and visit their house I'd have to get their number and share it with my parents, but otherwise it was pretty loose. Just needed to keep my grades up and not do anything obviously stupid.

 

[Damaniel]

I was a kid in the 80s and early 90s, and while I still had to generally tell my parents where I was going (calling them from a friend's house or payphone once in s awhile), I had a lot of flexibility in terms of where I went and what I did.

 

[Ernest]

Another part of it was that back in the '70s and early '80s, there was nothing on TV (literally 3 channels of bullshit), and obviously no internet/computers. So you would end up having to find your own fun - be it reading books, or just going out exploring and/or playing with friends.
Not to shake my fist at the clouds, but that interpersonal interaction is practically gone today. Partly because of "safety" (whatever the fuck that even means), but also because it's so much easier to communicate through a screen.

Wanted to add... back in the '70s and '80s every kid rode bikes all around, and not one single kid wore a bike helmet. Like, they didn't even fucking make kids sized helmets back then! That's how different things were.

 

[EssBeeVee]

growing up my parents were strict where we couldn't go into peoples houses or sleep over. we couldn't even sleepover at my cousins place. she had that mindset everyone was "bad" or a bad influence. look at her kids now.

outside of that. we were allowed to do pretty much anything else really. so we played outside doing what kids do hang out with other kids in the neighborhood. get lost in the woods.

 

[mrmoose]

Another part of it was that back in the '70s and early '80s, there was nothing on TV (literally 3 channels of bullshit), and obviously no internet/computers. So you would end up having to find your own fun - be it reading books, or just going out exploring and/or playing with friends.
Not to shake my fist at the clouds, but that interpersonal interaction is practically gone today. Partly because of "safety" (whatever the fuck that even means), but also because it's so much easier to communicate through a screen.

Wanted to add... back in the '70s and '80s every kid rode bikes all around, and not one single kid wore a bike helmet. Like, they didn't even fucking make kids sized helmets back then! That's how different things were.

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Not only that, no seat belts and no car seats (except for like babies). We would regularly roll over from front to back in my dad's car while driving on the highway.

 

[Sobriquet]

I grew up in the '80s in Texas and could do whatever I wanted as long as I was home by dark.

 

[andymcc]

Born in the early 80s and was pretty much was allowed to do whatever I wanted. Walked to friend's houses after school. Would go explore in the woods. When I was young teenager, my parents divorced and my freedoms grew lol. I lived at my dad's who routinely worked 80 hours a week and he'd just leave his checkbook or credit so I'd walk to the local grocery store/order food/video games/etc.

 

[theSoularian]

Not only was I a latchkey kid, I'm an only child with a single mother. I remember summer days back in the mid 90's, being home by myself during the day time, I would go on long bike rides...usually by myself, but sometimes with friends. We go to these parks, wooded areas and big empty undeveloped land. Were only gone for a couple of hours so I'd be home by the time my mother gets home from work.

 

[Citizencope]

I grew up in the 70's and 80's.
I just did my thing from 8 yrs old and on as long as I was home by dinner.
Walk the train tracks, go up town and share a pizza, go down to the sanctuary for hours in the woods.
This was before turning 10!

 

[Surakian]

I wasn't allowed to leave the house alone. I only really got to be "free range" during the year my grandma was recovering from an accident and I stayed at a classmate's house after school. They let us just do whatever we wanted as long as we came back for dinner, so I'd be all up and down the street, hopping backyards and stuff.

My mom was super strict about me doing things and going places alone, though. Inside I could do whatever the hell I wanted, though. I would read books or cut my doll's hair haha so I didn't really go wild. My mom didn't want me going to parties or sleepovers because she was worried I'd be bullied since I was smaller than the rest of the kids and also more quiet and thoughtful.

She also worried I'd be kidnapped. I get it. I'm just sad I never really had the most lively childhood.

I'm very independent as an adult in spite of my mom's worries about me. She still worries about me and asks if I'm going somewhere with a friend lol

 

[captive]

i dont think it was millennials changing this. Im an elder millennial, born in 85 and i was free range. I used to ride bikes all summer, go to arcades, the movies all kinds of stuff. My kids are 6 and 8 and this parenting style was around long before we had our kids.

But my wife who is a few years older than me is like super, you're not going to watch tv all day. Like there were days, weeks or months in summer thats what i did. I would watch price is right and then roll into like reruns of knight rider or baywatch, renegade. lol

but i definitely see it in our friends kids too who are all mostly the same age. They're like booked up on summer activities by like FEb or March.

 

[Contactable]

70s/80s in Sweden. We did whatever we wanted to. Todays kids are missing out. But hey, TikTok.

 

[Senator Toadstool]

Latchkey kid from middle school on. (Had extended day in elementary).

Didn't do much cool shit besides play n64 and watch cable version of movies that I later found out were butchered

Occasionally road around the neighborhood on bikes with friends trying to do Jackass stunts

 

[entremet]

70s/80s in Sweden. We did whatever we wanted to. Todays kids are missing out. But hey, TikTok.

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I loled at the tiktok quip.

 

[Hollywood Duo]

I was free range and I would let my kid be the same if it wasn't for the nosey Karen's who will call the cops on you.

 

[killerrin]

The rules were pretty simple.

• Let them know when you're leaving the house
• Let them know when you've gotten to a house destination
• Be home by sunset
• If not home by sunset, give them a call from a house destination

But yeah, it was pretty much me, my friends, our freedom, and our bikes.

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Pretty much. Short, simple, easy to remember.

 

[Senator Toadstool]

Pretty much. Short, simple, easy to remember.

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Yup, so glad I didn't have a cell phone when I was a kid/ early teen (think I got my razor when I was 14-15)