2 of my cousins and my wife's sister are married to asian men. Pretty cool.I been seeing a lot of Asian dudes, latino women here in NYC lately. That's what's up.
2 of my cousins and my wife's sister are married to asian men. Pretty cool.I been seeing a lot of Asian dudes, latino women here in NYC lately. That's what's up.
I think for me it's because I rarely see Asian women around. Last time I talked to an Asian woman in a social setting was 2016.I don't understand the men favoring Asian women?
I'm basically attracted to any female of any race that is "good looking" in my eye. I don't find the most attractive Asian women better looking than the most attractive black, hispanic, white, etc...women.
Is there some other factor that makes Asian women get more hits?
Is it a "foreign/mysterious" factor?
Oh yeah, there's a section of Era that's like that. They'll be here soon enough.I got into a giant argument once about how racist it is to say "I'm not into black people sorry". I think it's so fucked up. The other person was just arguing it's a preference. :/
An issue that I rarely see talked about is that even when I do date outside my race, my skin tends to become the focal point of their entire infatuation. Rather than getting to know me, it feels like our entire interaction is based on strange assumptions that tend to be super dehumanizing. For whatever reason it seems hard to accept that I have my own set of interests and thoughts... and that maybe you'll have to get to know me just as you would anyone else. So even when I do manage to get past the obvious racist filters, I'm usually hit with even more. I feel like it's one of those things you really have to experience to understand. I've had to endure a lot of horrible jokes about my race for really simple stuff like enjoying pasta or electronic music. I don't understand it.
None of this is really surprising if you've followed online dating statistics for the last couple of years. Basically if you're a white male or an Asian female you've got it pretty good.
If you're black (female or male) you're pretty much screwed.
Yeah. Not dating someone because they're black is racist, but the same could be said for the reverse. Fetishization is a big problem too. Ultimately, you should view everyone as people first. Instead of saying, "I want a white girlfriend," or whatever.I can't fathom the frustrations you felt. But there's not much to understand except that these douche bags were racist and fetishized you.
This is some truth right here.more black women and asian men should date each other to form the power couple of america.
Not really. Some people have them as a side effect of their fetish. So it can still be pretty racist. And it's just a stupid thing to say because it props mixed babies up on a pedestal, like they're more beautiful than "regular" ones.Please lets not penalize ppl for saying that kids from mixed race couples will be beautiful. Mixed or biracial kids are product of probably the least racist thing a human being can do (provided it was consensual, of course) which is procreating with someone from a different race than you, so lets not do that. I know what the author was going for but there's nothing wrong in saying that.
Please lets not penalize ppl for saying that kids from mixed race couples will be beautiful. Mixed or biracial kids are product of probably the least racist thing a human being can do (provided it was consensual, of course) which is procreating with someone from a different race than you, so lets not do that. I know what the author was going for but there's nothing wrong in saying that.
the way that filtering works when online dating is pretty compelling..
would you treat someone the same if they said "no blacks" vs "nothing under 6' tall" ? You can argue preference, or you can argue that one is racist while the other one is.. well.. I dunno what word/term to use. Are they really any different? At the end of it all, aren't you filtering an entire group of people based on something that they have no control over? Summing it up, you would be putting those people with height preferences on the same level as racists, wouldn't you?
What? Sorry but that's bullshit.
I don't typically find black women as attractive as I do others. That doesn't make me racist. It's purely an attraction thing, I have no issue getting on well with anyone of any race in a friendship capacity so there's certainly not any negative stereotype playing out in my head on a 'subconscious level' or otherwise. I also find brunettes far more attractive than red-heads or blondes. I don't secretly hate people with either hair colour or think they're 'bad' in any sense either.
What a completely bizarre thing to suggest that everyone is attracted to everyone else equally unless there's some dislike or hatred of them as a group.
This whole story hits close to home. As a Torontonian when I was on Dating sites I got the Sorry Im not into Blacks message more often than I cared for.
Just because it's a subconscious bias doesn't mean that it's not a bias, or that you're at fault for those attractions. Most societies have this ingrained idea that whiteness or fairness is more attractive. This is represented pretty heavily in the media we see and consume, which itself helps to form some of our sexual identity as we hit puberty and start noticing the opposite (and/or same) sex. You can talk about culture wide beauty stanards without taking personal offense about your own personal attractions.What? Sorry but that's bullshit.
I don't typically find black women as attractive as I do others. That doesn't make me racist. It's purely an attraction thing, I have no issue getting on well with anyone of any race in a friendship capacity so there's certainly not any negative stereotype playing out in my head on a 'subconscious level' or otherwise. I also find brunettes far more attractive than red-heads or blondes. I don't secretly hate people with either hair colour or think they're 'bad' in any sense either.
What a completely bizarre thing to suggest that everyone is attracted to everyone else equally unless there's some dislike or hatred of them as a group.
Just dig deep, there's a reason why you find them less attractive. Not saying you're some hardcore racist, but it's something that has been forced on you without you realizing it. We're conditioned to find certain races is more attractive.What? Sorry but that's bullshit.
I don't typically find black women as attractive as I do others. That doesn't make me racist. It's purely an attraction thing, I have no issue getting on well with anyone of any race in a friendship capacity so there's certainly not any negative stereotype playing out in my head on a 'subconscious level' or otherwise. I also find brunettes far more attractive than red-heads or blondes. I don't secretly hate people with either hair colour or think they're 'bad' in any sense either.
What a completely bizarre thing to suggest that everyone is attracted to everyone else equally unless there's some dislike or hatred of them as a group.
Not really. Some people have them as a side effect of their fetish. So it can still be pretty racist. And it's just a stupid thing to say because it props mixed babies up on a pedestal, like they're more beautiful than "regular" ones.
It's something of a back-handed compliment. Similar to "You speak so well" in that it may not have a negative intention but there's an inherent implication that otherwise it would be worse. "Your kids will be so beautiful!" .... unlike if you were both the same race. "You speak so well" ... when I expected you not to based on preconceived notions.
Here's my post from page one of this thread:
While cringe-worthy and awkward, the whole "mixed ethnicity kids are the cute/beautiful etc." thing is said by both Caucasians and African Americans and isn't a dig against African Americans ---- it isn't implying that the babies are cuter just because they aren't strictly "black" just as it isn't implying that the babies are cuter just because they aren't strictly "white".
When people of two different ethnicities fawn over offspring that blends those two ethnicities, what they are really doing is highlighting that there is much to be loved about BOTH ethnicities. Black is beautiful. White is beautiful. Put black and white together and you have traits that each ethnicity loves, so both will find aspects to highlight as "beautiful".
There's a place for couples of all ethnicities separate/pure and all ethnicities together/blended, and they are all beautiful in many different ways. It's hard for people to recognize that in this polarizing world where everyone sticks to their "team" and are prone to be drawn towards those that they are most familiar with since birth. This "mixed ethnicity kids are the cute/beautiful etc." comment that people of many ethnicities makes just highlights that beyond all of the differences between ethnicities, there is much that we all can love and appreciate about each of them.
Here's my post from page one of this thread:
While cringe-worthy and awkward, the whole "mixed ethnicity kids are the cute/beautiful etc." thing is said by both Caucasians and African Americans and isn't a dig against African Americans ---- it isn't implying that the babies are cuter just because they aren't strictly "black" just as it isn't implying that the babies are cuter just because they aren't strictly "white".
When people of two different ethnicities fawn over offspring that blends those two ethnicities, what they are really doing is highlighting that there is much to be loved about BOTH ethnicities. Black is beautiful. White is beautiful. Put black and white together and you have traits that each ethnicity loves, so both will find aspects to highlight as "beautiful".
There's a place for people of all ethnicities separate and all ethnicities together, and they are all beautiful in many different ways. It's hard for people to recognize that in this polarizing world where everyone sticks to their "team" and are prone to be drawn towards those that they are most familiar with since birth. This "mixed ethnicity kids are the cute/beautiful etc." comment that people of many ethnicities makes just highlights that beyond all of the differences between ethnicities, there is much that we all can love and appreciate.
I can't fathom the frustrations you felt. But there's not much to understand except that these douche bags were racist and fetishized you.
Yeah. Not dating someone because they're black is racist, but the same could be said for the reverse. Fetishization is a big problem too. Ultimately, you should view everyone as people first. Instead of saying, "I want a white girlfriend," or whatever.
I've seen black people complain about this while ignoring their own race. Kinda how she admitted to the "mixed babies are cuter" nonsense.
Here's my post from page one of this thread:
While cringe-worthy and awkward, the whole "mixed ethnicity kids are the cute/beautiful etc." thing is said by both Caucasians and African Americans and isn't a dig against African Americans ---- it isn't implying that the babies are cuter just because they aren't strictly "black" just as it isn't implying that the babies are cuter just because they aren't strictly "white".
When people of two different ethnicities fawn over offspring that blends those two ethnicities, what they are really doing is highlighting that there is much to be loved about BOTH ethnicities. Black is beautiful. White is beautiful. Put black and white together and you have traits that each ethnicity loves, so both will find aspects to highlight as "beautiful".
There's a place for couples of all ethnicities separate/pure and all ethnicities together/blended, and they are all beautiful in many different ways. It's hard for people to recognize that in this polarizing world where everyone sticks to their "team" and are prone to be drawn towards those that they are most familiar with since birth. This "mixed ethnicity kids are the cute/beautiful etc." comment that people of many ethnicities makes just highlights that beyond all of the differences between ethnicities, there is much that we all can love and appreciate about each of them.
It's not what's said, it's how and why it's said. People fetishsize mixed kids. We had a thread about this. Also, if that's your big takeaway from this article, then I can only assume you've made this comment a lot and are suddenly feeling defensive.Please lets not penalize ppl for saying that kids from mixed race couples will be beautiful. Mixed or biracial kids are product of probably the least racist thing a human being can do (provided it was consensual, of course) which is procreating with someone from a different race than you, so lets not do that. I know what the author was going for but there's nothing wrong in saying that.
Yup, black women are the most discriminated (mainstream) group and its very apparent on the dating scene, especially if you're dark-skinned.
Where I grew up, us mixed race kids were really common (and have become increasingly so) however its very heavily skewed towards black fathers and white mothers, which has become kind of a point of contention with quite a few black women I know. Its not that they're against biracial relationships, but that their dating pool is limited to almost exclusively black men. To make matters worse, as the article points out, the issue exacerbates as you become more successful due to the fact the more accomplished a black man is, the more likely he is to have a non-black partner, while a similar status doesn't grant black women similar opportunities.
Western beauty standards have really done a number on sisters.
It's a weird thing to declare and then say, what I'm not racist.What? Sorry but that's bullshit.
I don't typically find black women as attractive as I do others. That doesn't make me racist. It's purely an attraction thing, I have no issue getting on well with anyone of any race in a friendship capacity so there's certainly not any negative stereotype playing out in my head on a 'subconscious level' or otherwise. I also find brunettes far more attractive than red-heads or blondes. I don't secretly hate people with either hair colour or think they're 'bad' in any sense either.
What a completely bizarre thing to suggest that everyone is attracted to everyone else equally unless there's some dislike or hatred of them as a group.
A combination of "exotic" fetishization and a perception that they're more submissive/subservient than other races of women.
I support this motionmore black women and asian men should date each other to form the power couple of america.
Lucky if they actually say please lmao.
In my experience Asian women are just harder to come by. There's like a 2% population in my city, so in terms of attention grabbing attractiveness, they stand out.I don't understand the men favoring Asian women?
I'm basically attracted to any female of any race that is "good looking" in my eye. I don't find the most attractive Asian women better looking than the most attractive black, hispanic, white, etc...women.
Is there some other factor that makes Asian women get more hits?
Is it a "foreign/mysterious" factor?
The jacked up part is when brown folks do it
Perhaps also appreciate that when you label it bluntly as racism (which makes those with such a preference feel as though you're calling them racist) will likely cause a defensive response.
Still a weird thing to declare.Not really in the context of replying to the statement that racial preferences (in terms of attraction) are racist.
I've not said "no black woman is attractive" I've said I don't typically find black women as attractive. There are obviously millions of beautiful black women, I'm just not as physically attracted to them myself as I am others. The same is true for numerous factors that contribute toward what I find attractive and don't.