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Ghosting on dating apps
- Thread starter Nexus2049
- Start date
She probably swiped right by accident. I've done it several times.
I hate ghosting but I understand it. Fucking weird and crazy people out there and its sometimes just easier. Just sucks when you been texting/meeting for a while and they just randomly ghost you.
Some people don't like to have that confrontation with telling people they are no longer interested and is way easier when you are online and have very little chance of meeting them in person at all.
It's cowardly, but I understand why it is a pretty popular thing to do these days.
It's cowardly, but I understand why it is a pretty popular thing to do these days.
If your first reaction to someone that has had a surface-level interaction with you is to call them a pussy for not rejecting you directly, I don't think the issue is with the other person or the app.
Haha tinders idea of combating it is by adding "Go on, what you waiting for?"notifications that are just fucking annoying.
People seem to be way too picky when it comes to dating these days. Spoken to plenty of people in the past, got on really well, have lots of things in common and then they block you or if you are lucky enough to actually get a date, have a good time, they say they want to see you again and then block you...... People should just be more honest.
Dating has changed a lot and apparently not for the better. The free apps are next to useless, full of weirdos in my experience. The paid apps are a little better as people might actually want to meet someone, because they are paying for it.
Had a few good one night stands through apps but even they felt like hard work and finding an actual relationship, seems to be even harder.
The best way is still to meet someone in person on a night out or maybe someone you know or friend of a friend. I asked an old school friend out for a drink one day, she said yes and we've been together nearly 5 years now and have a house.
Dating has changed a lot and apparently not for the better. The free apps are next to useless, full of weirdos in my experience. The paid apps are a little better as people might actually want to meet someone, because they are paying for it.
Had a few good one night stands through apps but even they felt like hard work and finding an actual relationship, seems to be even harder.
The best way is still to meet someone in person on a night out or maybe someone you know or friend of a friend. I asked an old school friend out for a drink one day, she said yes and we've been together nearly 5 years now and have a house.
Literally? They're literally learning about you from your first word, even before your first word!
Because they don't find you THAT attractive / somebody hotter is literally the convo above you
Welcome to online dating.
I'm an ok looking guy and i've been ghosted more times than I can count. Sometimes i've Had girls give me the compatibility and then proceed to cancel it right after my first message (usually a compliment).
That's just how it is, it's a numbers game.
Edit: also, a girl once sent me a screenshot of her app screen. She had like 1800 likes and 100 active convos, girls on dating apps get swarmed the minute they register .
I'm an ok looking guy and i've been ghosted more times than I can count. Sometimes i've Had girls give me the compatibility and then proceed to cancel it right after my first message (usually a compliment).
That's just how it is, it's a numbers game.
Edit: also, a girl once sent me a screenshot of her app screen. She had like 1800 likes and 100 active convos, girls on dating apps get swarmed the minute they register .
It's not always that they can't be bothered. They probably had a bunch of matches alongside, and working through those first for whatever reason...
Does this count as ghosting or just been uncaring?
Also on grindr. I've made dates or hookups where we both express desire to meet up and praise of one's looks. So it isn't my inferring something that is not there. We set the date and place, I get stood up and then they disappear, my only message to them is "Are you coming"? after that I don't bother with them and don't message them, they don't respond.
I know the latter is a form of ghosting, but I'm interested in the former part of the exchange. Where people decide to arrange a date, then one decides not to go but doesn't tell the other person. That really pisses me off, have the decency to cancel if you are not interested or if you get cold feet. Waste of my time and money.
Have a 33 % success rate with men in grindr who decide to invite me or say yes to a date or hookup, then now show up. I guess it's part of the culture -__-. It made me question my self-worth and looks for a bit, but nah I'm a pug :D
Also on grindr. I've made dates or hookups where we both express desire to meet up and praise of one's looks. So it isn't my inferring something that is not there. We set the date and place, I get stood up and then they disappear, my only message to them is "Are you coming"? after that I don't bother with them and don't message them, they don't respond.
I know the latter is a form of ghosting, but I'm interested in the former part of the exchange. Where people decide to arrange a date, then one decides not to go but doesn't tell the other person. That really pisses me off, have the decency to cancel if you are not interested or if you get cold feet. Waste of my time and money.
Have a 33 % success rate with men in grindr who decide to invite me or say yes to a date or hookup, then now show up. I guess it's part of the culture -__-. It made me question my self-worth and looks for a bit, but nah I'm a pug :D
I even got the dog in my profile pic
That's a bad pic OP. You need to upgrade your pictures
As far as ghosting on dating apps...happens all the time and don't take it personal
But he has a pooch. I would message him about the pooch, but I know that's just me.
Don't take it personally. They just weren't interested or met someone else.
When you have been meeting a lot of people, it can get emotionally draining when repeating the cycle of introductions, background stories, then goodbyes. Some people are more draining than others, so it may be partially due to your personality, but just forget about it and move on. You have nothing to learn from these people.
Edit: dude, you are super young, have a dog (may as well be a child from the perspective of a potential mate) and talk about smoking weed. You aren't going to get the cream of the crop when it comes to matches.
When you have been meeting a lot of people, it can get emotionally draining when repeating the cycle of introductions, background stories, then goodbyes. Some people are more draining than others, so it may be partially due to your personality, but just forget about it and move on. You have nothing to learn from these people.
Edit: dude, you are super young, have a dog (may as well be a child from the perspective of a potential mate) and talk about smoking weed. You aren't going to get the cream of the crop when it comes to matches.
Weed is probably something you should ease them into. Hardly something that reels 'em in. Unless you're looking for a weedhead.
After the cringe thread I dont blame people for ghosting. Not saying you're like that OP but take a look at that thread. People would really like to avoid a confrontation now days just in case. I thought it would be super rude to do but now im not so sure. Probably better to be safe lol.
wait are you serious? That's my whole life in one broken sentence. Good thing I've never online dated.
i hate to be the bad news bear but that's like 80% of people who are dating through these apps. it's not 'weird' or 'unique' to be into pop culture, music, or food
This. Some mofos want a refund if they bought you a cup of coffee and turns out you ain't interested in smashing...
Oh are you trying to be weird and unique on grindr or tender or whatever? I'm not informed I thought those apps were mainly for sex. God I'm getting old. I'm pretty easy. Id be ready to go at weed and food.
I even got the dog in my profile pic
Not bad. Let's clean this up. First, ditch the stoner gamer vibe. It's cool for the friends but for something more...? I'd rework it. Don't reference gaming or weed or pop culture. Can be a big turn off. Ideally you want to cast a wide net.
Take some time and really put some effort into the 'about me' portion. Dog is cool. Keep it. But take a photo outside perhaps. Not just a neck and up photo either.
Ehh...it used to bother me but now I just don't give a fuck. I'll just go do something else instead to forget about it.
If you have the kind of constitution that feels very hurt by ghosting, and see the lack of a direct "let's break this off"-talk as particularly spiteful, my only advice is that you'll do a little work on how to wrangle those hurt feelings into something productive, and not let them feed into already existing bad habits.
As face-to-face interactions become more rare, "ghosting" is bound to become a more frequent behavior. It doesn't necessarily have to be malicious, though it can sure seem that way, if you come from a generation that didn't grow up with social networks as the dominant norm, and feel that disengaging in this way - on a person to person basis - is particularly callous and/or demeaning.
This is a consequence of the proliferation of social media, and it's very unlikely that this will change. The most practical tip I could give anyone is to find a context in which this behavior emotionally lands, but doesn't necessarily devastate you.
How that is achieved, is an individual journey.
As face-to-face interactions become more rare, "ghosting" is bound to become a more frequent behavior. It doesn't necessarily have to be malicious, though it can sure seem that way, if you come from a generation that didn't grow up with social networks as the dominant norm, and feel that disengaging in this way - on a person to person basis - is particularly callous and/or demeaning.
This is a consequence of the proliferation of social media, and it's very unlikely that this will change. The most practical tip I could give anyone is to find a context in which this behavior emotionally lands, but doesn't necessarily devastate you.
How that is achieved, is an individual journey.
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People don't owe you anything off these apps, their silence should be enough. It can be tough at first but after a while ghosting shouldn't bother you. Ghosting after you've known someone for a long time though is pretty shitty though.
If someone ghosted me after matching me, oh well, but i'd rather take that than talking to someone, plan on meeting up and then nothing. You're not the only one they're talking to, they might have clicked more with another person. Also, they really don't owe you or anyone else an explanation. So they'll just unmatch or ghost. It's perfectly fine in certain situations.
I am on grindr as well, and I understand how you feel. I I recently have experienced something worse where I physically met someone, and we hang out several times. We don't have sex or anything intimate, but last I saw him it was a good experience. Now he completely ignores me lol. I tried to reach out a couple of times, but no luck. I just stopped trying at that moment. I think I would have felt more closure if the person I met told me why, but honestly I don't care at this point.
I even got the dog in my profile pic
weed mention explains it
Ghosting as in flaking is pretty disrespectful for sure. Going no contact after just talking or a date or whatever is more understandable and why you should avoid investing much until you're sure it's going somewhere.
Elitist1945 you're a handsome dude but your pic needs to be brighter, it's too dark to stand out, Take a pic with your dog at the beach or something, somewhere other than your dimly lit apartment. Putting weed in there makes you seem like maybe it's a bit too important in your life which is gonna turn some people off. The other stuff too, the "about you" section isn't really anything about you, it's just stuff you do. Sell yourself. Everyone likes music, everyone likes food, everyone likes pop culture except a very few select people that will say they hate it but are prob ambivalent at the end of the day. Don't be define yourself by the things you enjoy, tell people what about you is interesting, it shouldn't be a checklist of things you enjoy, especially such broad categories. I don't mean any offense, it's just a lazy profile and people will treat it that way.
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I've basically given up on these apps
Went on two dates and nothing seemed wrong and then nothing
Went on two dates and nothing seemed wrong and then nothing
Its not just the guys, belive me I've recived some pretty shitty responses from women or the constant "why" messages.
Sure, but they aren't in a position to physically threaten me.