I am a minority to and they what you phrase that post was pretty damn annoying
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I keep being called "racist" for doing my job and it's really starting to tear at me
- Thread starter Klyka
- Start date
What generalisations? The bathrooms got trashed when it was a free-for-all, but since they renovated them and added this policy they've been able to keep them clean. That's the reason for this.
Also, the ability to use private bathrooms is not a right, so nobody's being denied anything.
I don't know if you're referring to me, but I didn't say that minorities love to cry racism.
But what I'm seeing here is somebody walking into a shop and seeing a sign telling them that only customers can use the bathroom. They know they're not a customer, but they still decide to ask an employee to let them in. They're again told they need to be a customer to use them. So if they claim the reason they're not allowed in is something other than them not being a customer, then I can only assume they are not being genuine when they accuse the OP of racism.
I wasn't talking to anyone in particular I was addressing the general attitude in this thread that inherently assumes malice on the part of the minorities in question.
the rule imposed by the owner is that only regulars and customers can use the toilet. i mean i know its infuriating. i was denied using the toilet in some shops or restaurants too and had to buy random crap to use it. its not racist. still a very bad policy.. needing to pee or needing to take a crap is a serious matter (its not called notdurft in german for nothing)
In some cities (London, certainly) there are even chain stores - like Starbucks - where in order to use the bathroom you have to have a passcode for an electronic key lock, and the only place those (randomly rotating) codes are given out is on the bottom of receipts, so you have to buy something. It's a business, not a charity, and if you want to restrict the restroom to only customers, that's fine, imo. As long as this rule is not being applied specifically to minorities or 'shady' looking people, it's cool. Rules are rules.
This is pretty common everywhere, especially in higher traffic areas without public restrooms.
This a million times. You aren't a racist just because someone calls you that.
I mean, he wrote that they are dealing with people literally flinging shit on the walls. At least this way, only people actually paying the store get to use the toilet. Having cleaned and maintained toilets for free isn't a right.
it happened about 4-5 times that shit was either on the walls of the stall or in a place it REALLY shouldn't be.
I once was called into the bathroom because of a terrible smell and someone had shat on top of the toilet lid. Like the full shit literally on the closed lid.
I always pay gladly for toilets that don't reek of shit and piss so good on you guys. I work and live at Frankfurt Hauotbahnof and well, if you had to use an open bathroom there once... you will be actively looking for pay to use bathroom.
Most of the time I buy a drink to get in.
I worked for a hotline and was called a racist many times because I couldn't help people when their bus or subway was late, because I was not able to magicly teleport everyone where they needed to be. But I was called a lot of other means things also, so just try to shrug it off. They don't know you.
Also the idea with a sticker or sign on the front door is a good idea, just state the policy with a pictogram and some text.
I can really relate to all the "customer" frustration, as I currently work at an infopoint and the amount of people who want to send faxes or have copies of their stuff for free is insane... and then get angry if their denied.
Most of the time I buy a drink to get in.
I worked for a hotline and was called a racist many times because I couldn't help people when their bus or subway was late, because I was not able to magicly teleport everyone where they needed to be. But I was called a lot of other means things also, so just try to shrug it off. They don't know you.
Also the idea with a sticker or sign on the front door is a good idea, just state the policy with a pictogram and some text.
I can really relate to all the "customer" frustration, as I currently work at an infopoint and the amount of people who want to send faxes or have copies of their stuff for free is insane... and then get angry if their denied.
I think a policy with 0 percent leniency ("You need to have a receipt with today's date, I don't make the rules, sorry") + a sign outside would help a lot here
Ignore them. They are the kind of people who would call others of same skin color as racists. This shit used to happen to me (before I moved on to other stuff), and I just learnt to keep doing my job and ignore their bullshit. They'd come up to me and make stupid requests, which I turned down (rightly so). Ended up calling me racist out of anger or frustration.
I've spent some time thinking over this thread before posting... And you know what? I don't think I'm on OP's side. I think the fact alone that this bugs OP is telling. If you really thought that you were in the right, why wouldn't you just ignore the people who complain? I used to work in "service" industry and pretty much everyone complains and they give you shittiest reasons.
If you want to feel better about your job just step up to your management and let them know what the issue is. Miscommunication certainly does not help perceived racism.
In fact I would at least partially blame miscommunication for institutional racism. Which is by far the worst type of racism today.
If you want to feel better about your job just step up to your management and let them know what the issue is. Miscommunication certainly does not help perceived racism.
In fact I would at least partially blame miscommunication for institutional racism. Which is by far the worst type of racism today.
I think it's reasonable that a person would be bothered by being perceived in a way they know is not true, while not being able to correct that perception. I would be bothered by people often accusing me of being something I'm not.
Ah yes, just completely ignoring someone in front of you in real life is easy especially when they are complaining, yelling, being a nuisance.
Day after day after day.
It's not that simple and it's bullshit to think it is.
this,
OP, you got to learn that some people will use a card to justify their shitty behavior
I've gotten some rest, and I think why I said what I said - in the mangled way that I said it - had a lot to do with me being home with my parents right now, and caring for their psychological well-being. Basically, outside of also being very depressed, I was bored out of my mind, and perhaps a bit too eager to jump into something intellectually interesting.
I don't think anything that I initially wrote - when I wrote it - was particularly interesting, and to the extent that there was something interesting "there", I could probably re-state it. So, discard whatever I initially said.
I saw a topic about "white people feeling odd about having a strong reaction to being called racist" and thought that it was an interesting thought to pursue, along the lines of what I think is interesting about psychology, sociology, power, shame, and everything else that makes social interactions so interesting.
I think my primary fault was to not give enough context to where I was coming from. I'm not known enough as a poster on this forum that I'm immediately given the benefit of the doubt when I post, and that's perfectly understandable.
That said, I also understand that non-white people might be a little tired - or at the very least very wary - when someone who looks like me starts talking about race in this very abstract way, that borders on novelty.
White people are a bit unique - as a group - when it comes to racial discussion, because we can always "peace out" if our argumentation starts ruffling feathers or gets too difficult, and return to the safety of a life that isn't under the immediate threat of racial hatred.
For people who are non-white (or, at the very least, can't "pass" as white), there is no real escape. You have no choice but to let the racism of others dictate the fabric of your life. Understandably, this informs how charitable you're going to feel about the next "woke" white person you interact with.
This connects a little with your (quite sweet) attempt to translate issues of racism to an LGBTQ+-specific form in your last post. But the truth is that racism and discrimination by sexuality/gender-identity/etc are fundamentally different.
If you don't pass as white, you don't pass as white, and that's that. It doesn't matter how you dress, how much money you make, how you speak or what hobbies you engage with. If you don't pass as white, you will always be treated less by a very significant portion of this world; both by violent, in-your-face-interactions but also (and perhaps in a more detrimental way) through all the small moments that make you feel crazy and paranoid if you were to address them individually.
LGBTQ+ people - on the other hand - are fundamentally different in the sense that there is an opportunity "to pass", in the sense that you emulate ways of being (like an actor) to the point that you become the group you're emulating.
Most non-straight people are quite aware of the mechanics of passing; some reject it completely, while others make the decision to live out the majority of their lives in the safety of not being seen.
I've been thinking throughout the day about an example, or some kind of thought-experiment that would make sense for someone who isn't white, but is straight, and the closest I can come up with is if you imagine a world wherein non-white people had an octopus-like ability to (through immense, and constant concentration) could pass successfully as white.
If such a thing was possible, you would probably have a pretty significant share of non-white people opting to live like this, in the same way a lot of LGBTQ+ live. It's a miserable existence, but if there was a similar "out" for black people that exists for me to temporarily present as straight, I bet a lot of black people would do so, and that would probably impact your current feelings of community, solidarity and "we're-all-in-this-together".
I've known I was gay since I was 11, and visibility (and accountability) has always been important to me, and even more so (perhaps exponentially so!) as I've gotten older. My feelings about the LGBTQ+ community is very complicated, and the ability that queer people have to "pass silently" has often felt very infuriating to me, and - in some way - made me long for a situation where queerness operated in the same way that non-whiteness does, where there is no opportunity to disappear, and you sorta have to get along with strangers purely because there is no emergency exit.
Your original reply to me was a little pointed and sarcastic, but I was glad that you followed up, and chose to engage with my mangled post through an edit.
It's often very easy to fire off a quick reply, and as someone who often edits my posts for clarity (outside of the garbage-post that generated this situation) I feel a certain amount of interpersonal warmth that you went back and added some additional thoughts through your edit.
This is a pretty lengthy reply (and, I suppose atypical, too, in the way this forum operates), but it's been on my mind for the last two days. You gave me the "easy out" by indicating that I don't have to give a reply, and while that's very gracious of you, I do feel it is important to reply, if I have the time and energy to do so.
If nothing else then for the benefit of people who just read this forum.
cheers; love.
Edit for Internet-people: This reply is already pretty complex, but when I'm talking about an LGBTQ+ perspective, you have to be a little charitable as a reader, and understand that I can't give voice to the full spectrum of your beauty, at all times, and still make a coherent point (and in particular when LGBTQ+ intersects with concerns that are rooted in ideas of racial identity. Basically, I am aware that being black and LGBTQ+ compounds two separate, complex issues, and that they intermingle, as well, into their own unique complexity.
But I don't think I could take that level of complexity, and also manage to make a post that would make any sense at all, perhaps not even to myself. So, be a little charitable here, when I talk about race and LGBTQ+ as two separate things :)
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