Talking about kids in GENERAL - is ok, you don't want to spend 2 years with someone to later find out they never wanted kids in the first place.
But I agree with the "our future" part, lol - that is way too soon - and yes, should be red flag, lol
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What are your red flags during a first date
- Thread starter Cryptosporidium
- Start date
Talking about kids in GENERAL - is ok, you don't want to spend 2 years with someone to later find out they never wanted kids in the first place.
But I agree with the "our future" part, lol - that is way too soon - and yes, should be red flag, lol
It's not even an alarm bell, it was more 'the building is already on fire and all lives are lost'.
We got paired up by one of my brothers, she was the older sister of one of his friends and he figured that since we were both metal heads he'd hook us up. We'd shared a few texts and she agreed to come along to a school reunion (which was about two years after we left school and was basically just an excuse to go and get drunk together). She was absolutely gorgeous, funny and with a little bit of a psychotic side which teenage me just loved. Then that happened and I literally, physically walked away from her. There was no sense of loss or missed opportunity, just an instant, irreversible feeling of OH FUCK NO.
She wrote me a letter which my brother passed on to me (in a badly opened and resealed envelope - he never did buy that she was a massive racist) which explained that she was wronged by a black person once and so she's a victim if you think about it and what she did didn't hurt anyone etc etc etc.
It's more just an eye roll-worthy reference, in my opinion, but it's from Berserk (a manga). It's a very R-rated dark fantasy/horror manga, if that tells you anything.
Ok now I get it then, OH Farnese
I didn't think to connect it to Berserk, thanks
Ive always been a head down, headphones in kind of person on public transport and I rarely use it because ours sucks. So the first time I heard "yeah, it was 2am, we were both waiting for the bus and started talking, we were both coming back from work and I got the invite to her place", I was like, what the fuck?
If someone picks their phone for more than a couple of seconds or worse, this:
https://i.imgur.com/Qk6bisF.gifv
https://i.imgur.com/Qk6bisF.gifv
"I'm sober"
"I'm very religious"
"I don't really read / listen to music / watch movies"
"I have a child"
Anything else is good.
"I'm very religious"
"I don't really read / listen to music / watch movies"
"I have a child"
Anything else is good.
-a preoccupation with their phone/social media.
-difficulty maintaining conversations, whether from a tendancy to shut them down with one word responses or an inability to come up with topics of conversation on their own
-more shallow, but a failure to clean up/dress nice, especially for a first date
-religious
-difficulty maintaining conversations, whether from a tendancy to shut them down with one word responses or an inability to come up with topics of conversation on their own
-more shallow, but a failure to clean up/dress nice, especially for a first date
-religious
uhm... maybe she just has horrible parents. How is that an instant-red flag?
Do you mean "I don't drink" or you want all your dates to arrive drunk lol
Not laughing at someone saying Bobba Fett wrong, saying Borba Fett instead.
My SO laughed, we're now engaged.
But for real.
- Being late.
- Being boring.
- Getting serious straight off the bat. (Making plans, talking about kids and marriage and so on).
- On the phone to much, even looking at the phone while we're talking
- Right leaning politics.
The biggest nope though.
- I don't read books, they are boring.
I'll leave without a word.
My SO laughed, we're now engaged.
But for real.
- Being late.
- Being boring.
- Getting serious straight off the bat. (Making plans, talking about kids and marriage and so on).
- On the phone to much, even looking at the phone while we're talking
- Right leaning politics.
The biggest nope though.
- I don't read books, they are boring.
I'll leave without a word.
Good lord that GIF is uncomfortable.
What's wrong with having only guy friends? I find that I gel particularly well with women in that pool.
The times I've run into this, they are constantly surrounded by guys, most all of whom are trying to or have already had sex with that person. They sure as hell didn't stop trying to pursue her when I came into the picture and she didn't mind the continued attention. That exact scenario has played out with many of my guy friends in the dating scene, almost to a T.
Obviously it's not always going to be the case. But guys being wary of it is definitley a thing.
Damn never fucking mind what I've said, I've straight up been in this situation like multiple fucking times
Eeesh that is awful, sounds like that dude sucked at life. I'll never understand why other guys flip out like that. So fragile. I understand maybe asking what was done wrong as to improve in future dating scenarios, but no one owes anyone anything. Fuck that guy.
That's the one you should've married. He was just showing you what real life is like after the honeymoon phase ends. Lol.
Edit: just saw the follow up post. So nevermind. Good call on that one.
Yeah, I can definitely see that. Luckily, I haven't come across the bolded yet.
Yep. If they do all these things, you may aswell leave
The phone thing and the ex ones or just plain zoning out during a date... absolutely hate it when they text or something and then look up and go huh.
Also being late... huge pet peeve. Had a couple girls set up dates really close to their home because they didn't want to make the long drive... both of them still managed to be 30 minutes late. Was about to walk away from the date when I saw them pull into the place...
Once had a girl drop that on the 4th date... after mentioning that she went through the divorce because... get this... he was hiding stuff behind her back. Lol.
Also being late... huge pet peeve. Had a couple girls set up dates really close to their home because they didn't want to make the long drive... both of them still managed to be 30 minutes late. Was about to walk away from the date when I saw them pull into the place...
Once had a girl drop that on the 4th date... after mentioning that she went through the divorce because... get this... he was hiding stuff behind her back. Lol.
- "I hate drama"
- "I'm a [insert Zodiac sign here]"
- Talking mad shit about people they know
- Glued to their phone
That's a good one too, anybody who goes on a date with me must not have good taste in men. Why would I want to date a girl with shitty taste?
Potheads
Bad Hygiene
No sense of fashion (silly but I've dated a few girls like this and there's only so much I can deal with really bad graphic tees to a nice restaurant)
Constant texting/phone usage during a date is my absolute biggest red flag. Its so incredibly rude and shows you have a short ass attention span (another red flag).
Bad Hygiene
No sense of fashion (silly but I've dated a few girls like this and there's only so much I can deal with really bad graphic tees to a nice restaurant)
Constant texting/phone usage during a date is my absolute biggest red flag. Its so incredibly rude and shows you have a short ass attention span (another red flag).
I made the mistake of talking about my fear of having kids with a hook up not realizing she was a single mother. It was like our 4th time hanging out, so that was the end of that, for two years at least. :)
So I'm okay with "I have kids" being brought up on the first date.
Once!
Seriously though:
- Kids
- General Ignorance
- Hating on minorities
- Can't stop talking about themselves or can't keep a decent convo going
- When they like hunting or hate animals
- Devoid of passion (for anything)
- Bad hygiene
- They only talk about themselves (and try to bring the conversation back to themselves every time)
- They exude arrogance or conceitedness
- They tell me they love to travel. Honestly, everyone does. You're not that special. (this is less of a red flag and more of an annoyance)
I just have a huge pet peeve for guys who think they're god's gift to mankind.
- They only talk about themselves (and try to bring the conversation back to themselves every time)
- They exude arrogance or conceitedness
- They tell me they love to travel. Honestly, everyone does. You're not that special. (this is less of a red flag and more of an annoyance)
I just have a huge pet peeve for guys who think they're god's gift to mankind.
Either a girl falling for one of her friends, or the other way around - the odds are extremely high that one of those is going to happen eventually.
This works the other way round too. Continuous chatter - it's difficult to maintain conversation when the other just won't give a chance to say more than few words every now and then.
Yeah. If they aren't a big enough influencer to be known well enough to make talk like this unnecessary, who would date them?
