Coffee tastes awful unless you dump enough sugar and cream to make a diabetic blush. I feel the same about tea, but at least that actually has benefits and you don't go into withdrawal if you stop drinking it.
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What are your red flags during a first date
- Thread starter Cryptosporidium
- Start date
It's a hobby among others. If you bring it up as the first thing you do then yeah some people might take you as a nerd (which could be a red flag for someone).
Come on son do some research. Someone might take your ignorance on coffee as a red flag!
Definitely never getting off the phone. Looking at your phone every now and then is not some crime against humanity. There could be an emergency or something your date might have to run out and deal with. Thats life. Having conversations throughout the whole date on social media or just straight texting people constantly is a no-no for me. Just demonstrates you're not interested in whats in front you and cant be bothered to cool it with that shit for the couple of hours the date might last.
Asking me for money. Fuck no. I'm paying for the meal and basically the whole evening. We're here to try and get to know each other better in person, not take out loans and shit on each other.
Bringing up the EX...constantly. Clearly you haven't moved on and have some stuff you need to work through.
Not disclosing the fact you have children, going through divorce etc... You ain't got to tell your date your life story, but that's the kind of shit you do need to disclose in fairness to the other person.
Asking me for money. Fuck no. I'm paying for the meal and basically the whole evening. We're here to try and get to know each other better in person, not take out loans and shit on each other.
Bringing up the EX...constantly. Clearly you haven't moved on and have some stuff you need to work through.
Not disclosing the fact you have children, going through divorce etc... You ain't got to tell your date your life story, but that's the kind of shit you do need to disclose in fairness to the other person.
The joke about horse girls is legit. I went to an inner city high school, and then I went to a small liberal arts suburban college and ... like within that first weekend I learned that there are tons of women just ... really into horses. And all of them, every last one, was odd in some freakish, not normal way.
My research is the people I've seen everyday at work for 3 1/2 years and my attempts at drinking it in college.
The person that snaps at you before they have it.
The person that tries to stop drinking.
That time I only slept for three hours and went, okay, I'll give it a shot.
The fuck?!
And yet there are millions of us who just have a few cups a day without any adverse effects.
If you genuinely think that the stereotype died down you need to spend less time on Resetera.
Playing video games is fine. Lots of adults do, regardless of gender. Nobody really cares.
But the stereotype still lives among the people who have videogames be the thing that defines their lives. The kinda obsessive ones. Coincidentally there's a lot of these people on Era. And that's going to be a large turn-off for most people.
I mean, i'm big into games myself but i'm not looking for a partner who's only real hobby is videogames. Fuck no, it's one hobby among many.
Could you stop without any adverse effects? After A COUPLE OF CUPS A DAY.
Also, how am I the weird one when someone else said, not drinking coffee is a red flag?
You need to chill. There's no downsides at all to drinking a few cups of coffee a day.
Coffee only tastes awful if you are drinking shittily brewed coffee, fam.
Because it tastes bad. 6 years of "try this, I bet you'll like this", "can you just drink with us once", "please, just this once".
I know I shouldn't be taking these personally, but damn.
I am chill? That also doesn't answer the question. I too like telling people to calm down instead of addressing what they're saying.
Yeah, but for those of us who really do spend hours each day playing games, have been playing games for 20+ years or more, have every console, it's a hard thing to "hide" especially when it becomes obvious it's what you spend a lot of your free time doing.
People who can't laugh at themselves.
Self promotion (let me list you all the things I've done, please be impressed. I can count to ten in Japanese, please be impressed)
Self entitlement and basically being rude to others.
I think the worst one was listening to a prolonged explanation how she abused her ex. He was apparently a doormat and she told how that doesn't stimulate her enough so que to stories of public belittlement, emotional abuse, sleeping around and laughing about it at his face etc. etc. She was looking for a strong man who could keep up with her.
Decided not to be it.
Self promotion (let me list you all the things I've done, please be impressed. I can count to ten in Japanese, please be impressed)
Self entitlement and basically being rude to others.
I think the worst one was listening to a prolonged explanation how she abused her ex. He was apparently a doormat and she told how that doesn't stimulate her enough so que to stories of public belittlement, emotional abuse, sleeping around and laughing about it at his face etc. etc. She was looking for a strong man who could keep up with her.
Decided not to be it.
I'll choose whoever I want to spend my life with, thank you.
I'm not saying ''Fuck people that only eat gluten-free!'' if you read my post after that, I just didn't want to deal with that my whole life after trying it. We tried, twice, and not only did the gluten free food was shit to me, the two of us didn't connect in the end.
Sounds good?
But can you imagine that not being a positive trait to a potential partner? Because I can.
There's lots of awesome hobbies and interests to explore that do not involve a controller and a screen.
Any indication that they are a conspiracy dipshit, if they are rude to service workers, and if they start talking about church like it's the staple of their life.
Other than that, I'm wary of anyone who doesn't seem to have any strong feelings on any subject.
Other than that, I'm wary of anyone who doesn't seem to have any strong feelings on any subject.
-mentions Ex several times without getting prompted
-rude to waiters
-complains about her job, allot
-can't crack a chuckle, a giggle or a laugh at anything I say.
-too religious.
-still a student
-is not bilingual (I live in Montreal, it is expected to be able to communicate in both official languages)
-rude to waiters
-complains about her job, allot
-can't crack a chuckle, a giggle or a laugh at anything I say.
-too religious.
-still a student
-is not bilingual (I live in Montreal, it is expected to be able to communicate in both official languages)
I mean, I don't drink because my best friend died from it, my family had issues with it, and dudes I've dated have been lowkey alcoholics, so idk
drinking shouldn't make or break dating someone unless they're literally under 21 aka still a babby
"I like to be treated like a princess"
"I don't wear sunscreen because it has chemicals that cause cancer"
"Vaccines don't work it's just a money grabbing scheme"
"I don't wear sunscreen because it has chemicals that cause cancer"
"Vaccines don't work it's just a money grabbing scheme"
my ex (who i'm still fucking) dropped these on me
Thats not a red flag, thats an alarm bell. You either missed red flags leading up that moment or it came straight out of left field.
Then you haven't drunk the right alcohol yet! Just kidding. You do you. It's just that I like going out and drinking and if my partner didn't drink at all I don't think it would end well.
Lol I'd have kicked her off her balance when she was squatting tbh
I mean, do you even consider your partner's perspective and whether you click or not? Or is it just all about you having to suffer through bland food once in a while.
She's the one born with a chronic illness she can't control and is forced to live like this to not feel like absolute shit.
I'd hope she finds someone who's willing to show even a modicum of empathy. Celiac disease is not a damn joke.
I have a quick question regarding the ex situation: I am divorced with kids and just now beginning to date a little- talking about my situation without talking specifically about the ex seems natural...and necessary in a lot of ways. Just curious about thoughts on this.
I've only dated two people so I've never really had this issue lol (One relationship lasted 3.5 years, the other I'm now engaged!)
If i has to ever hypothetically make a list though:
Racism
Political beliefs
Maybe some more I'm not thinking of right nogoing haha. I'm pretty open.
If i has to ever hypothetically make a list though:
Racism
Political beliefs
Maybe some more I'm not thinking of right nogoing haha. I'm pretty open.
Coffee isn't tobacco. Plenty of people drink coffee without being addicted.
Yup. Most don't mind gaming as a hobby, but if it's your only one, it tends to be a turn off to most non gamers.
It's been a long time since I was dating, but for me the big ones were:
Complete negativity about everything. Moaning about their job, their boss, their family, their ex-partners, money, their friends, missed opportunities, broken dreams and various other perceived slights. Often went hand-in-hand with being rude to waiters etc as the world was apparently against them. Not everyone is where they want to be in life, especially in their 20s, but when it's endemic it's just tedious, especially when it's a stranger and the evening is supposed to be fun.
No effort to make conversation. I get that not everyone is a natural but still, bring a couple of ideas for a dull moment.
One single interest. That they bang on about all night. Obviously great if you have a mutual interest, but if not it's something that put me off a few times. If they couldn't tell their date was bored rigid after taking at them for hours while they try and get any other topic in edgeways, then I was out and glad for the silence on the way home.
One thing I did do towards the end of dating, before I met my wife, was to start meeting for coffee in the afternoon as a brief 'introduction' to see whether an evening 'date' would be fun for both of us. So many dates clearly weren't going to work out after the first 30 mins that I got fed up with commiting to dinner and an evening out. The first date (if you're strangers) you're really just sounding out the superficial first impression stuff anyway, and that's the stuff that was usually an immediate interested to know more/not interested in my mind.
Complete negativity about everything. Moaning about their job, their boss, their family, their ex-partners, money, their friends, missed opportunities, broken dreams and various other perceived slights. Often went hand-in-hand with being rude to waiters etc as the world was apparently against them. Not everyone is where they want to be in life, especially in their 20s, but when it's endemic it's just tedious, especially when it's a stranger and the evening is supposed to be fun.
No effort to make conversation. I get that not everyone is a natural but still, bring a couple of ideas for a dull moment.
One single interest. That they bang on about all night. Obviously great if you have a mutual interest, but if not it's something that put me off a few times. If they couldn't tell their date was bored rigid after taking at them for hours while they try and get any other topic in edgeways, then I was out and glad for the silence on the way home.
One thing I did do towards the end of dating, before I met my wife, was to start meeting for coffee in the afternoon as a brief 'introduction' to see whether an evening 'date' would be fun for both of us. So many dates clearly weren't going to work out after the first 30 mins that I got fed up with commiting to dinner and an evening out. The first date (if you're strangers) you're really just sounding out the superficial first impression stuff anyway, and that's the stuff that was usually an immediate interested to know more/not interested in my mind.
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Last time I had anything it was when a really hot girl came to me and a club and said "dance on me like you're fucking me" and poured vodka down my mouth.
That was maybe the one time I "liked" alcohol and even then, ugh.
Before then, different wines, cider, some butterscotch crap. My friends get annoyed now because after years of turning them down, I'd just started saying yes to random hot girl that offers me something not knowing I don't like drinking. Cause you know, I don't want to be rude, not with that accent.
a girl who dosn't drink is amazing, never have to worry about drunken stupors or getting an alcoholic geneed person with drinking problems
Of course. I drink a few cups some days, for weeks in a row, then I don't drink coffee for a week or two.
1-It was an online date, nothing to take too seriously.
2-We didn't have many similarities in our hobbies and interests.
3-How do you know if she had a disease or anything like that? I remember asking her why and she only told me that gluten gives her gases.
These years were the time where gluten-free food was becoming mainstream, people were getting into without necessarily being affected by a disease.
Personally I think it's ok to tell about your situation. And I find it necessary to be open about it too.
But if it's the single defining aspect of your life, it might be a bit problematic.
Ho...leeee. Shit.
That is horrifying.
Although not as extreme, it makes me think of my old friends sister, I had a huge crush on her for the longest time, one day we were hanging out having a cigarette and listening to music in the car and she points at her neighbor. "I hate that fucking n****r!"
I haven't really talked to her since. Racism is a quick way to end a friendship and any attraction you have to a person.
- Bringing up her ex
- When I have to come up with every single topic
- Not offering to at least split the bill
- Being a smoker (weed, cigs) It just grosses the hell out of me
- Having Tattoos ( I do not like tattoos of any kind)
- Having piercings anywhere else except the ears
- When I have to come up with every single topic
- Not offering to at least split the bill
- Being a smoker (weed, cigs) It just grosses the hell out of me
- Having Tattoos ( I do not like tattoos of any kind)
- Having piercings anywhere else except the ears